If
by Southern Magnolia
Summary: What would happen to the world that Bella lives in, if some of the choices that affect her life had been made differently?
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I'll say it once to get it out of the way, generally because I forget to include this sort of thing over and over! None of the characters belong to me, they belong to Stephenie Meyer, etc.

A/N: I've actually been hand-writing this story for quite a while now. Actually, about a year, come to think of it. And it's very nearly complete. The problem usually comes in typing it up! So, while I've got a small buffer already and I'll try to keep posting 1-2 chapters a week, depending on their size and such, encouragement is helpful to keep me typing! So please read and review!

October 1989

Forks, Washington – Renee

"I can't do it anymore, Charlie! I can't put down any more roots here!"

"Ren…"

It hurt to see the expression on his face. So little ever seemed to get to Charlie, to affect him enough that he could show emotion without thought to being embarrassed.

I knew without a doubt, sadly, that this would be one of the times that would be filed away in my mind.

The first had been the day he proposed – he'd been far too shy when we started dating in high school to show his emotions. The second had been our wedding day. Both times I had seen the grin on his face reach his eyes, and the faint shimmer that spoke of the threat of tears. The last time, when Bell was born, was the only time I'd seen the immoveable Lieutenant Swan cry.

But I carefully steeled myself back up again, running the same pep talk I had given myself earlier through my head. _You're miserable here, you know that will never change. You hate Forks and small towns. Charlie thrives here. You can't stay here and be miserable, it would ruin not only your life but Charlie's. You love him enough to not want that. Most importantly, think what living like that would do to Bella._

All the ferocity and strength of conviction that I had built up earlier rushed back, but my voice became softer, pleaded with him to understand. "I can't stay here another minute. I hate this stupid, boring town. I'm miserable here, Charlie. You must have seen that."

I could see his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard, actually having to struggle to keep himself in control. In the end, he only managed one word. "Bella?"

I glanced up the stairs where she still slept in the crib that she was quickly out-growing, then down to the small bag that I had filled with her things. I hadn't even considered that she wouldn't come with me. But that small question brought doubt rushing in. I knew without a doubt that Charlie loved me and Bella both more than anything. I knew it pained him to think of me leaving, that it would very nearly kill him to see us both go in a single night. Much less certain was my future. I only knew that once I was in my car, I was headed to the nearest place that was as opposite of Forks as I could possibly get. I'd grown up in Forks, just like Charlie. I only knew that I longed for something bigger, more exciting, more full of life from brief visits to the nearby cities. I wouldn't know where to call home until I got there, and even then it could be months before I had a job and a decent place to raise Bella prepared. So I sucked in a deep breath, and sat the bag on the floor.

"You're right. She should stay here, for now." As I spoke, I heard my voice break for the first time.

Charlie made a move toward me, a hand raised to touch my cheek, to comfort me. But I made a quick step back, and conjured up that resolve once more.

"Just let me go, Charlie. It didn't work out, okay?"

He faltered again, and I saw his hand drop back to his side. As I wheeled to dash out the door in the pouring rain, I tried to ignore the intense pain in his eyes, and the glimmer threatening.

January 1990

La Push, Washington – Charlie

"Hey, kid," I muttered as I picked her up in my arms and gave her a toss in the air, just to hear the delighted squeal.

"Daddy, higher!"

"I couldn't help a small laugh as I sat her back on her feet. "Any higher, kid, and you'd be through the roof!"

She pouted for just a moment before a thought seemed to occur to her and she brightened again. "Becca and 'Chel have a brother!"

I had to laugh. "I know, kiddo. That's why I'm here so early."

She cocked her head to the side, seeming to finally note it was still dark outside. Working the night shift meant that I never picked Bella up before it was light outside – I'd normally go home first to nap a couple of hours, and at night I'd drop her off just after nightfall and sleep before work as well, so I could be awake and with her during the daylight hours. It was an odd juggling act – my Chief was constantly trying to convince me to give the night shift to one of the newer officers. In a town as quiet as Forks, night-time patrols were filled with lots of silence, perhaps catching the occasional teen out after curfew. Certainly no place for a lieutenant that hoped to advance. But I told I didn't care about advancing right now. I had tried to make Renee leaving as easy as possible on Bella… but I also would never forgive myself for anything that could be calculated as time lost.

Renee called two or three times a week to talk to Bella, and would always talk to me at least for a couple of minutes to update me on how things were going with getting settled. I was starting to get to the point where I was glad to hear the joy in her voice when she would briefly describe some new experience.

And I had to admit, I was glad to hear that this place wasn't working out and that she would be moving again in a week or so.

But I was pulled back to the present by my daughter, as she tugged on my hand. "Yes, Bells?"

"Daddy, come see my Jacob!"

My eyebrows must have shot up in the air pretty fast, because I heard a chuckle from the direction of the master bedroom, and looked up to see Bully walk over. "_Her_ Jacob?"

"I was as surprised as you. But I guess it makes sense. Bella had some trouble sleeping sometimes, when she'd miss Renee. So Sarah would have her lay with her for a while. First time she does, Jacob gives this really hard kick, and doesn't let up until Bella starts laughing… That's the only time Sarah says he kicks so hard. Always when it's time for Bella to get here." He laughed again, and even I could see how jubilant he was, filled with the joy of a father. "It sure was something waiting for him to tire himself out nights when you didn't work, Charlie… I'm almost afraid to think of the nights when Bella isn't here now!"

"Billy?"

My friend just grinned at me before he turned on his heel and dashed back to his wife. He returned a couple minutes later, a soft bundle in his arms that fussed fitfully.

Bella began to jump up and down, trying her best to see. With a laugh, I reached down to lift her up to see.

"Hush, my Jacob. Your mommy is sleepy!" She reached out to put her own pale little hand over his tightly clenched fist. I could only watch in silence as he slowly calmed down, then blinked wide eyes up at us.

I looked over at Billy, silently amazed at what I had just witnessed.

He could only shrug at me. "Sarah thinks they have some sort of spiritual connection."

I scoffed lightly, but stopped short when I saw his eyebrow go up, as if daring me to laugh.

"Don't disregard such things so lightly, Charlie. There are many things in our world that we cannot hope to make sense of. Sarah's always been a little more attuned to that sort of thing, and it's heightened when she's pregnant… especially with Jacob. I don't fully understand it, but I won't question the possibility that it exists. Especially when that means disagreeing with my wife. And I try to make a point to never, ever disagree with my wife."

I laughed with him a little at his joke. "Yeah, alright. I guess I can agree with that much at least, just…"

"Little odd to have it be your kid, huh?"

"Yeah," I grinned a bit at him. "Look, I talked to Harry and Sue a couple days ago. They said they wouldn't mind watching Bells for a while. I know you guys won't have much time on your hands, between the girls and a newborn."

"Sure. At least it will be a little less crazy than it was with the girls."

As if on cue, two bleary-eyed five-year-olds walked into the room. "Daddy? Why is everyone awake? It's still dark outside."

"Because Mommy had your little brother!"

Immediately, they looked wide awake and rushed over to Billy as he knelt down to be closer to their height. I took the cue to leave the Black family to themselves for now, though Bella twisted in my arms in order to look back as I headed out the door.

A few days later, I got a call from Billy.

"Charlie, hey."

"You sound exhausted. Jacob giving you hell?"

A tired laugh. "Yeah. Definitely not a case for 'sleeps through the night'. Neither me or Sarah can get him down until after dawn. Sarah manages to get him to nap during the day, of course. Can't get him not to. We tried, to see if that would make him sleepy enough at night. Just made him crankier."

I laughed a little at that. "Well, have you had him checked out? There's tons of stuff that can make a baby cranky."

"We took him to the doctor two days ago. Said he was fine, that it was fairly normal for babies not to sleep the night through. Just to keep trying to get him used to a schedule."

"Yeah, well, he's the doc."

"Well-."

I heard him cut off as Sarah's softly pitched voice spoke up in the background, then a small shuffle that sounded like someone's hand covering the phone. I laughed to myself, then waited patiently as I watched Bella flip through a picture book, pore over each page as if she were trying to memorize every detail. I smiled as Billy finally came back on the phone.

"Er, Charlie?"

"Yeah?"

"To be honest, Sarah asked me to call and ask if we would be able to start watching Bella again."

"Ah… Spirit stuff?"

He laughed a little, almost as if he were glad I was taking his request lightly.

"Sure thing, Billy. I trust Sarah enough to go on a little faith. Besides, I'm willing to lend my friend any help I can."

There was a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Charlie. If nothing else, it will make Sarah feel a lot better."

That night, I drove Bella to the Black's house. Carrying her inside through the thick layer of snow on the ground, I grimaced to hear an infant's cry from inside. Bella just started to bounce in my arms. "My Jacob?"

I stared at her for a moment, studied her blissful expression before I just let it go, and laughed a bit as I knocked on the front door. Hey, if my kid was going to have some 'spiritual ocnnection', it could be a lot worse than my best friend's son. "Yeah, kiddo. We're here to see your Jacob."

November 1994

Forks, Washington – Charlie

"Come on, Renee! She just started second grade. She as friends at school, her Jacob is turning five in January-"

"Charlie! Did you just say _her_ Jacob?" Renee suddenly laughed.

I couldn't help a sheepish grin and a light chuckle escaped me, despite the anger that had been building just a moment ago. "Yeah, well, almost five years of hearing it sort of makes it stick in your head, Ren."

She laughed again before she gave a sigh. "Look, Charlie. I know it's taken me a lot longer than it should have-"

My teeth gnashed together. "Five year,s Renee."

She sighed again. "I know. But everything is finally perfect. I got a great job, I've been a teacher for a year now and I still enjoy it every day. I love my kids here. Then, it's impossible not to love kindergartners, they come in so bright and eager every day… And I've got a great house in Phoenix. Bella's room is all set up…"

I pressed my lips together, shaking my head. "I wish you'd found some place closer, Renee. Five years, it's just been me and Bells. Now I'll get to see her… what? Major holidays, maybe a month or so in the summer?"

"I know, Charlie. But I think… I think that Phoenix will be good for her. She's already so much like you, Charlie. There's got to be a little of me in there, don't you think it's not so much to ask that she might enjoy the sun as much as I do? That she will love big city life, all the things there are to do here?"

"… No, I suppose not," I admitted, and rubbed the back of my neck out of a mixture of embarrassment and frustration. "Look, at least wait until after Christmas? Give her a chance to say good-bye to everyone. We go down to La Push for Christmas Eve with the Blacks and Clearwaters. I know she'll be upset if she misses that when it's so close."

"Alright, Charlie I don't mind. It will make things a little easier on her to be able to start after vacation anyhow. I could take a few days off and drive up? Maybe stay for a few days, then come back here for New Year's? I really thing she'd love the fireworks here, and it would give her a couple days to settle in."

"Yeah. Sounds great."

"Thank you, Charlie."

June 2000

Phoenix, Arizona – Bella

"Hey, Mom? Have you seen my jeans? You know, the faded ones that all my friends signed before break?" I looked over the neat stacks of clothes before I packed them for my visit to Forks. "Mom?" When I didn't hear an answer, I ventured from my room to look for her. I searched the house before I found her in the kitchen, as she hung up the phone. "Mom! You didn't put my jeans in the freezer or something, did you? I saved a whole leg for Jake and all the kids at La Push." Not that it had been hard to save a 'whole leg'. Just tell the couple of wordier friends I had to keep it down to one paragraph. Beyond them, a few of my teachers had signed.

"Mom?"

"Bella…" My mom looked up, looking as if she had just noticed I was in the room. I paused as I saw the look on her face, then rushed across the room.

"What happened, Mom? Did something happen to Phil at practice or something?" My mom had only been seeing her latest boyfriend for about a couple months now, but I could tell she was already falling hard for him.

"No, no… Bella… maybe you should hold off going to Forks for a week or so…"

"Dad? Is he-!" I dropped down onto a chair.

"No, Bella!" My mom gave a sheepish half-smile. "Guess now would be a good time to get over this hare-brained thing, huh? No, honey, your father is fine," she insisted as she sat down across from me.

"Then what, Mom?" Now that I knew that Dad was okay, it was a little easier to regain my normal patience with my mother's scatter-brained mannerisms.

"Sarah Black was in a pretty bad accident last night, honey."

"Oh… wow. Well, I can go up there and help around the house until she gets better."

"No, honey. She… she passed away. Charlie said… well, it was pretty bad."

I stared at her in horror for a few moments before I scrambled to my feet, and nearly fell over the chair as it tipped over. "Mom, call and change my flight for tonight!" I dashed away and returned to my room to begin flinging things into my suitcase and duffle bag, not caring if they were still neatly folded or not.

"Are you sure, honey?" My mom was at my bedroom door, but she held the cordless phone in her hand.

"Yeah, Mom. I want to be there for Rebecca, Rachel, Billy… and Jake. And Sarah was Dad's friend too. I should go be with all of them."

My mom gave a wistful smile. "My daughter, the twelve-year-old grown-up." But she turned away and began to dial the airport.

With a sigh, I finished packing the things I had laid out. Then I walked back to my closet and shoved aside the dresses my mom had bought for me over the past year, reached in for the black jacket and pants that I had gotten for myself for all the occasions my mom had hoped I would wear the dresses to. Staring at it, I slipped it off the hanger and packed it away with the rest of my things.

August 2000

Forks, Washington – Bella

"No… no, Mom. Seriously, this is what I want. Yes, I guess part of it is because I think they need me."

She laughed a little. "I think you pull off this adult thing better than I do a lot of the time."

I shuffled my feet uneasily as I blushed. "I don't know about that… but Dad just made Deputy Chief of Police. And it's not like he could manage to cook before. Most nights before I took over, it was pizza, cold sandwiches, or microwaved frozen and Billy's getting worse, and the girls and Jake are having a hard time with that, on top of still dealing with Sarah's death… The girls especially, they try to avoid the house as much as possible…"

"Alright, honey… if you're sure… I'll send up some more of your things."

I smiled. "I'm sure," I promised yet again. "I'm glad you have Phil to help take care of you."

"Yeah, me too…"

I laughed at the sound of her voice. "Now, put me on speaker phone. I know he's there."

My mom no longer questioned why I asked her to do that. When important things came up, it was best to see that he knew. "Phil?"

"Yeah, Bella?" Came the reply, sounding a little echoed from the speaker phone.

"The office at my school will be open all this week. Make sure Mom goes down there and has them fax records to Forks Middle School? They already know to expect it, Dad knows the principal."

I heard a gasp in the background, then Phil's laughter. "Don't worry, Bella. Renee us just acting surprised that you already predicted her answer. I'll remind her before practice in the morning."

"Okay, thanks Phil. Bye Mom, love you!" I hung up, then turned to give my dad a hug. He accepted it and hugged me back quickly, but tight. "No worries, Dad. Just make sure to call her tomorrow after work. I know you two will have to talk…"

"And… you'd like me to make sure your records get sent?"

I grinned sheepishly. "Can we go down to Lap Push? I made a bigger thing of that lasagna I made for us last week."

Charlie stared at me for a moment, then chuckled and ruffled my hair. "You're too old for your age, kid. Gotta say, though… I'm glad you're no where near as accident-prone in the kitchen as you are everywhere else." To make his point, he eyed the bandage on my upper left arm.

I just grinned, then dashed to the fridge to grab the lasagna. "Come on!"

He laughed and reached out to take the dish from my hand. "Just to be safe."


	2. Chapter One

July 2004

La Push, Washington – Bella

Rebecca had gotten lucky. Her whole wedding had been planned for the outdoors. The back-up plan had been to try and pack everyone into Billy's place. Which meant that half the guests would have been out in the rain anyhow.

As the after party slowly grew smaller, it showed no real signs of letting up quickly. I was glad I had gotten permission from Charlie to stay as late as I wanted, even stay the night, if things dragged on long enough that he would be in bed. I knew it was just because he was glad I was going to _one_ party this summer. I was always dodging parties my Forks friends would have. Always just excuses to see who was dating who, which couple they could get together – even the ones that were 'girls only' just ended up being endless conversations about boys, clothes, make-up.

I'd gone to one, just once, when Charlie had to cover a night-shift because the usual officer was sick, and he didn't want me home alone. I managed to suffer through the 'make-overs' and boy talk/ Then when we got to 'Truth or Dare', I constantly took dares to avoid talking about myself, while others would spill their 'darkest secrets'… usually just some boy they liked, or maybe kissed.

Finally, they pinned me into taking a 'truth' in exchange for being able to dare each of them to do something.

"So, Bella… what's _your_ deepest secret?" Jess had a giddy smile on. It certainly matched the pigtails and pink jimmies she had on.

The other girls visibly leaned in, waiting for my response as I deliberated.

I must have taken too long, because finally Angela spoke up. "Uh, maybe we should play something else, guys?"

"No, I'm okay Ang. Just kind of hard to think of something. I mean, there's no one I like, really."

"Well, what about that Jacob kid you always hang out with? My older brother is friends with Sam Uley; he said Jacob's always making eyes at you."

I would have glared at Lauren if I hadn't thought it would prove her snide question right in the eyes of the other girls. Instead, I just laughed. "First off, Lauren, Sam barely spends time with anyone at La Push any more. He's always off on a date or at Leah's house."

Everyone but Lauren giggled. "Anyhow, the closest thing I have to a secret is just something from when I was little. Sarah and Billy would watch me when my dad worked nights. Apparently having me around calmed him down at night, and I called him 'my Jacob'." A little giggling before I cut it off. "I haven't called him that since I was like… seven years old."

But I knew from the looks I got I would be teased for a long time to come. So I said I would save my dares for later. Let them think I would make them do something really embarrassing if they ever said anything.

Suddenly, I was brought back to the present by someone calling my name. I looked up to see Leah approaching me, Sam close behind. As soon as she stopped in front of me, his hands were around her waist, and she giggled. "Sam! Anyhow, Bella… it's after eleven, and all the adults are turning in. We usually work on a system of making sure someone knows where you are, and truthfully… I don't trust most anyone around here not to come and spy on us. Sam and I are just going out to the cliffs, okay? We'll probably be back before the party breaks up, anyhow."

"Yeah, some time before dawn. Got it."

Leah giggled again as Sam grinned wolfishly, and spoke up. "Thanks, Bella."

I watched the two of them take off for Sam's care and shook my head. I didn't get it. Everyone my age was dating or crushing on someone. I was about to be a junior. Why wasn't I as interested in boys? I knew my dad was happy about it. But my mom could never not ask if there was some boy I liked yet. It was exhausting. If I weren't such a terrible liar, I wouldn't hesitate to make something up just to appease her.

"Hey, Bells! Quil, Embry, and me are trying to get a game going, no one else wants to play. Two-on-two?"

I smiled. "Sure, Jake. Beats watching make-out city."

"I know." Jake made gagging motions as I followed him to where Quil and Embry waited.

"So, what are we playing?"

"Football," Embry offered, scuffing his sneaker against the moist ground.

"Yeah, and none of that sissy touch stuff. Tackle," Quil insisted as he grinned at me.

Jake punched him in the arm. "Lighten up. Not like anyone else will play!"

"No, that's okay," I said, and grinned as I leaned over to make sure my shoe laces were tight. "I'm sure I can take you guys. So, whose team am I on?"

Embry looked ready to offer, like he wanted to protect me, but Quil beat him to it. "Jake's! You guys get the ball first, since, you know… yeah. Come on, Embry!" He took off to the middle of the make-shift field, Embry trailing behind.

I started off after them, but stopped when I heard Jake scoff. "What?"

"You know he only wants to be on a team against you so he gets to tackle you, right? He has a crush on you," Jake pointed out, his voice was dead-pan serious, clearly irritated by the fact. He was acting like a protective little brother lately.

I blushed and bit my lip momentarily before grinning. "So, we use it against him. I can keep running the ball. If he's always going to be gunning for me, you would have an easier time taking him out."

Jake was suddenly grinning. "Nice. Let's go!"

In the end, a very disgruntled Quil had picked up on what was going on. At first, he just tried harder, leaving Embry throwing his arms up in exasperation each time I made a touch down. I had to hand it to Jake, the kid was fast. Finally, Embry yelled at Quil, and the gameplay shifted somewhat. Jake and I managed to hold our own, but Quil and Embry started making a few touchdowns. By the time we finished about an hour later, Jake and I had won by two touchdowns.

"Oh, come on! You guys only want to stop because we're catching up!"

"Dude, you just tripped over your own feet! We're all tired, let's go back to the bonfire for a little bit before we go home."

I smiled at Embry, and pulled my hair down from the ponytail to pick out a few twigs and leaves, ran my fingers through it to make sure it wasn't too tangled. I was just putting it back up when I noticed Leah running over. I blinked in surprise. "I didn't really expect you not to be back 'til dawn, but… did you and Same fight or something?"

"No, no! But, uh… Sam is feeling pretty sick. I had to drive back. His house is just a mile from here… but my mom and dad think I'm way to serious about Sam for our age. They only let me come tonight because I promised to spend time with my other friends… if they hear that I brought him back alone, they'll think we were alone all night… you get the picture."

"Sure. I'll come along. Is he going to be okay?"

"I don't know. He's burning up, like he has the flu or something."

I started to jog to keep up with her quick steps, and heard Jake's footfalls behind me.

"Can you drive? Sam's lying down in the back, it's just a mile."

"Uh… sure," I agreed, and swallowed nervously.

We all climbed in, and I groaned to see it was a stick shift. "He won't kill me if a can't drive this right, will he? I mean, I know how, but…"

"Don't worry, Bells… I can tell you when to shift."

I smiled at Jake before I carefully put the car into gear. He did help, tapping the hand settled on the gear shift when it was time to shift gears. All-in-all, I managed to make it without grinding the gears, and the three of us helped Sam inside, and woke his mom so that she could see to him.

"I'm just going to head home, guys," Leah said as she gave a wave and jogged off.

"Er, so… Quil has a crush on me, huh? How'd that happen?"

Jake huffed in annoyance. "Who knows" Probably because you're the only girl who pays him any attention outside of his mom."

I laughed and shook my head. "That's just too weird. I'll be seventeen in September, I'm two years older than him. It just wouldn't work."

"It's not that big of a difference," Jake mumbled.

I looked over at him and blushed when I realized that all of a sudden, we really weren't talking about Quil anymore. "Er, well… It doesn't make a difference anyhow. I'm not one of those girly-girls who's going to be all goo-goo eyed over some guy. I mean, have you seen Sam and Leah? Ew."

He actually laughed a little. "Yeah. Hey, want to go crash? It's probably still make-out central down there. You can have my bed, I'll crash on the couch. Rachel's probably in bed already, she's leaving pretty early to get to school. Says she wants some extra time to get used to campus." He rolled his eyes. It was no secret the twins had hated being home after their mom had died.

"Sure, let's go."

Later that night, I found myself in a bizarre dream. First off, because I was aware that I was in fact asleep. How could I not be? I stood beside my own bed, and watched myself shift and mumble a few words in my sleep.

Who the hell was Edward? Did I know an Edward? I tried to search my memories, but was interrupted by a shadow as it moved from the rocking chair to beside my bed. I watched the shadow approach my bed, reach out his finger to lightly brush a finger over my cheek. All of a sudden, it was freezing. I shivered as I watched the Bella in bed pull her quilt up to her chin.

The shadow froze, still as a statue until she was still again. It seemed to tremble, taking a backward step toward the open window before suddenly, it lunged at me, and I saw the light from outside glint off its sharp teeth. Bella in the bed was completely unaware. Meanwhile, I screamed, and jerked awake in a strange bed.

I heard bare feet move across the wood floor of the living room swiftly, then Jake was in the doorway. "Bells? What happened?"

I blushed as I rubbed at my eyes. "Uhm… just a nightmare, sorry. Go back to sleep."

He peered at me a moment before he turned and walked back to the living room. I thought he was following my advice, until he returned with his pillow and blanket, setting up on the floor next to his bed. "Want to talk about it?"

I hesitated, then slowly described the dream. As I talked, I began to recognize some things about it seemed familiar. "You know, I've been having the same dream almost every other night now. Only… this is the first time I could understand what it was that I said in my sleep… and the first time the shadow got close enough to touch me, much less attack… Wonder what changed?" Then I noticed how intently he stared at me, and I blushed. "I know, I know. Lay off the horror films, right?"

"Well… you know some of our legends, right?"

"Yeah, something about you guys descending from… some sort of animal?"

"Wolves," Jake amended with a grin. "But we don't talk about that as much around… well, outsiders. How'd you know about that one?"

"Uhm… I think Leah was teasing Sam about it earlier this summer."

"Ew. Anyhow. Yeah, wolves. It's actually against our laws to kill them. But… we also have some stories about what we call the cold ones."

His voice seemed to drop as he said the last part. I shivered, despite the mild, but humid heat of the room. "The cold ones?"

"Yeah. Apparently my great-grandfather met some once, made the treaty to keep them off our land. They're the natural enemies of the wolf. Well, the wolves that turn into men. Werewolves, I guess."

"Werewolves have enemies?"

"Just one," he chuckled. "The stories say these cold ones were different, that apparently they didn't hunt like other cold ones. So they weren't dangerous to our tribe. So they made a treaty with them. If they stayed off our land, we wouldn't expose them for what they were. Just because they _claimed_ not to be dangerous doesn't mean they couldn't lose control at some point."

"So… what are these cold ones?"

"Blood drinkers. I think you'd call them vampires."

I stared down at him through the darkness, then swallowed carefully. "That sure sounds like the thing in my dream…"

"Yeah. Creepy."

I nodded, then shivered again. Jake reached out to take my hand. I blushed, though I had to admit, I did feel better. But I pulled my hand away, and moved to lay back down.

"Sorry," he said, embarrassment evident in his tone.

I was silent a moment as I considered my response, then shrugged off my trepidation. It was just Jake. "Don't be, I… actually felt a little better when you did that."

I could almost see him grin as he stretched out on the floor. I started to drift off when I noticed his hand over the side of the bed, palm up as he offered it to me. I sighed and shook my head. But I conceded somewhat, not at all eager for a repeat of the dream, and I had a feeling that somehow, Jake's presence might help chase it away. I reached out, and hooked my index finger around his. I heard him laugh a little before I fell back asleep.


	3. Chapter Two

August 2004

Forks, Washington – Bella

I'd only had the dream one more time since the night at Jake's. With a wistful smile, I touched the woven bracelet he had given me. I hadn't taken it off except the shower. The dream hadn't come back since.

The first week of school had flown by with an unusual amount of sunshine. My Forks friends had planned a trip to First Beach if the weather held out through Friday – especially since we were treated to a half day because of some weekend conference most the staff had signed up for.

I fidgeted in the back seat of the SUV Tyler drove, nervous even though the energy from all those around me was all eagerness and excitement. At the beginning of summer, I'd gone on a shopping trip with Angela and Jess. They both had family trips to California planned, and their parents finally agreed to two-piece suits for them. And I'd let myself be talked into buying one for myself. All summer break, it sat in its original bag. The times I did go to hang out at the beach, I'd just worn my old one-piece, completely covered with a long t-shirt. But with both of them involved in today's trip, I had to wear it. Though I'd braved a trip to the kitchen, passing before my father.

"Uh, Bells… is that new?"

_Yes! He's going to tell me to get rid of it because I'm too young!_ "Uhm, sort of? Jess and Ang helped me pick it out at the beginning of summer. But if you think I shouldn't wear it, I'll totally understand!"

"Er… no… that's fine. Have fun at the beach, kid."

I stared at him a moment before I stomped back up to my room, and heard him mumble something about growing up, then my mother's name mentioned. Probably going to call her as soon as I was out of the house to ask what age I should start doing certain things at.

When I came back to the present, I piled out of the SUV after everyone else. I watched with some trepidation as the other girls quickly shed their cover-ups, much to the pleasure of the boys. When the suntan lotion started to come out, and I saw Mike start to approach, I dashed over to Angela. "Want me to do yours, Ang?"

She flashed me a grateful smile. I knew she felt like I rescued her from the wait for a boy to volunteer. Later, I'd have to tell her who really saved who. But for now, I just applied the lotion to her back, then waited as she finished everything else.

Only then did I peel off my t-shirt and shorts, and did my best to ignore the looks I got. "Uh, Bella?" Angela giggled. "You might want to get rid of the price tag before Jess sees and goes into one of her rants."

Mumbling to myself, I quickly yanked the tag off as she calmly applied lotion to my back. Then I took the bottle from her hand to start on my arms.

"Hmm… I do believe you just broke that kid's heart."

"Huh?" I looked up at Angela, then followed her gaze to see Jacob as he walked over with his two friends, just in enough time to catch a somewhat crestfallen look on his face before he perked back up and started to jog over. "Uh, no… maybe trying to protect me from Quil, if anything."

"If you say so." Her eyes sparkled at me as she dropped the bottle back into her bag. "He _is_ kinda cute, though," she teased before heading to join Jess and Lauren – Tyler, Mike, and Ben trailing after the three girls. I couldn't help but laugh at the mental picture of lost puppies, but quickly snapped out of it. "Hey, Jake. Hey guys."

"Hey, Bells… what are you guys doing here, isn't your school still in session?"

"Half day," I explained."

"Oh." He eyed my suit, I'm sure trying to be secretive. Quil wasn't nearly as sneaky, and Embry just rolled his eyes at his friends.

"Guys, how about we hit the water while we can?"

"Yes!" I beamed at Embry, grateful for the distraction. He smiled sheepishly in return, and gave a playful wink, as if to say _Don't worry, I'll call them off._

Jake and Quil were already halfway to the water as they raced each other, shirts abandoned in the sand. Embry and I were quick to follow. I was just glad I was in the water before I tripped. At least it sort of looked like I dove into the water.

We goofed off for a while before Ben, Tyler, and Mike joined us. They began to plan a game, but I begged off, muttered something about uneven teams as my excuse. As I left the water, I spotted Leah seated by herself, fully clothed in jeans and an old t-shirt. Even in that get-up in this heat, she'd probably still look beautiful, if it didn't look like she'd been crying.

I paused. I was definitely far from best friends with her, but I also knew most the kids on the reservation that she hung out with were guys. I sucked in a breath, then pointed myself in her direction. "Hey, Leah. Aren't you burning up in that?"

"Huh? Oh… no, I guess not."

"You… guess not?"

"Yeah," she said, a faint smile on her lips for just a moment before it disappeared. "Too much else on my mind.

"Oh." I shuffled my feet before I finally made up my mind and sat down next to her. "I'm surprised Sam isn't here. He's not still sick, is he?"

"No," she replied as a grim smile turned her lips. "But I didn't even know he was better until classes started again and I saw him. I tried to talk to him, but he just said he was busy."

"Oh… well, maybe his mom is pressuring him like yours are pressuring you?"

She scoffed and shook her head. "Sam's mom adores me… We would always meet right here on sunny days to spend them together. I've waited here 'til dark every day this week. He's never showed."

I bit back another 'Oh'. I didn't know what else to say or suggest that wouldn't just sound lame or hurt her feelings. So I just sat by her side and stared out at the water. Then I heard a sniffle, and glanced over to see her crying. "Aw, Leah…" A little embarrassed, I scooted closer to drape an arm over her shoulder, not knowing what else to do.

"I'm so lost, Bella! I mean, my head is screaming at me that he's just trying to find a kind way to say he doesn't want to be with me anymore, but I don't want to think that… I love him so much. We've been dating since we were fourteen. Four years… what changed?"

I just bit my lip. I didn't have an answer for her. Luckily, she didn't seem to expect one, and continued.

"I mean, at Rebecca's wedding, we were inseparable. He never took his eyes off me. He looked at me the same way he always did, sounded just the same when he said he loved me… I think I'm still pretty… right?"

I jolted as I realized that she actually expected an answer this time. "I, uhm…" I faltered, and her expression dropped. "I mean… duh Leah!" I finally exclaimed, catching her by surprise. "You're beautiful! Any girl I know would kill for your looks, including me," I admitted wit ha blush, just to keep the honesty going. "Besides, I saw how Sam looked at you. I'm sure he appreciated the looks, but that had nothing to do with that… gooey, mushy expression on his face. He loves you. I'm sure it's just something he thinks he needs to handle on his own for now. Give him some time and space to come to you, in case he decides he needs your help."

Leah laughed a little before she sniffled again. "How'd you get so good at this romance stuff?"

"Jane Austen novels?" Leah laughed again, a little louder and more freely this time before she gave me an incredulous look. Apparently she wanted a real answer. "Uhm… I don't know. It's not like I've dated yet. I'm not even really interested. I guess… mainly from watching you and Sam together, honestly. Maybe a little good sense mixed in."

"I guess." She sighed, then got to her feet. "Space and time, huh?" Okay, then. I'm not waiting here all day again. I've got a huge pile of homework I've been putting off all week. I'll go concentrate on that."

As she left, I glanced over toward the tree-line in enough time to see a flash of movement, though I was unable to pinpoint what had caused it. I shrugged, then started off down the beach to walk by myself.

"Hey, Bells!"

"Hey, Jake."

"Er…" He fell into step beside me. "So, did she actually _talk_ to you? She's been so out of it all week."

"Yeah. Apparently Sam's been avoiding her all week. Didn't even let her know he'd gotten better."

"Oh… I figured. What a jerk, huh?"

"I don't know, Jake… Outside of my mom and Phil, they're the best couple I've spent time around. He's got to have some excuse, right?"

"I dunno… from the looks of things, he's avoiding all his friends these days, not just Leah. Like he's trying to be some macho jerk just because of the freak growth spurt he's had over the past month or so."

"Ugh, no wonder I'm not interested in dating. If guys act like that, and couples like Leah and Sam can come apart, what chance do I have of holding onto someone?"

"Not all guys are jerks, Bells," Jake pointed out. He muttered something after that sounded like "_I'm_ not a jerk."

I chose to ignore this, and instead broke into a run. "Race you back!"

He was startled a moment before he took off after me, and quickly eliminated the few feet of lead I had. When I heard his feet behind me, I made the mistake of looking back toward him.

"Bella! Watch out!"

My foot dropped into the hole in the sand, and the last thing I felt was my ankle twist as I fell. Then everything was black.


	4. Chapter Three

August 2004

Forks, Washington – Bella

I slowly opened my eyes, and immediately regretted the decision, and slammed them back shut with a groan. I heard a laugh from up above. "I know it's bright, Ms. Swan. Can you open your eyes for me, please?"

I really didn't want to, but the gentle, deep voice compelled me to do as it asked. I forced my eyes open again. "Follow the light, please." I felt my eyes move from side to side as they followed the pinpoint of light. "Good," the voice stated, though I got the feeling that my body would have obeyed whether I was in control or not.

"Can you sit up, Ms. Swan?"

"Bella," I insisted with a groan as I pushed myself up to sit.

"Bella," the voice amended. "Can you tell me what day it is, Bella?"

"Friday," I stated with more confidence as the light slowly ceased to be so blinding. "August twenty-seventh, two thousand and four. My full name is Isabella Marie Swan. My parents are Charlie Swan and Renee Higgenbotham. I go to Forks High School. I'm here because I tripped on the beach."

There was that laugh again. "I see. It seems you've been in this situation before, Bella." The voice was still so compelling, even just making a comment.

"I couldn't help it. I turned toward it, and immediately felt as if I had swallowed my tongue. My doctor was gorgeous. And not like your normal 'hot doctor' kind of gorgeous. Like he should be living the life of a supermodel. Especially since he looked like he couldn't possibly be old enough to be a full-fledged doctor yet. "Oh, uhm… yeah. I'm pretty accident prone. You'll probably be seeing a lot of me around here, Dr…?"

"Cullen," he filled in kindly, as he held out his hand/ I reached out to accept it out of habit. But I gasped in surprise. His hand was freezing cold! "Ah, sorry about that," he said as he calmly pulled his hand back. "Just got done with a patient who needed an ice bath. Now. Let's finis checking you out, shall we?"

He touched me little through-out the rest of the examination, just the side of my head where I bumped it on the rock, then my slightly swollen ankle. But I couldn't help but notice his hands never got any warmer.

My thoughts were interrupted by my father as he barged in. "Bells? Are you o- Oh, Dr. Cullen!" The worry suddenly dissipated, replaced with a pleased tone of familiarity. "Is she going to be okay?"

"Sure, Charlie. The worst of it's a sprained ankle. I'm surprised she passed out, really. The rock that she hit her head on received more damage, as I was told. Just a minor cut."

"Oh, uhm… I must have smelled the blood… the smell of it makes me a little queasy."

"You can smell blood?" Dr. Cullen's passive smile faded as he looked at me again, brow furrowed as if in intense thought.

"Er, yeah… It's kind of irony."

He looked at me a moment longer, as if trying to fit a puzzle together. But in the next moment, he was all smiles again. "Well. You just rest here, Bella. I'll have your father fill out the paperwork, and then you're free to go."

As the two of them turned to go, I couldn't help but overhear the conversation.

"So, the kids going to be in school next week, Doctor?"

'Wonder doctor had kids?'

"Yes. They got caught up on a hiking trip. But I've gotten them enrolled at the high school already. They shouldn't have too much trouble catching up."

'-High school- aged kids?'

My thoughts were interrupted by Jake as he edged into the room. "You okay, Bells? The nurse wouldn't tell me anything."

"Yeah, I'm okay. Dr. Cullen said it was just a scratch and a sprained ankle."

"Wow. Your head is harder than I gave you credit for. Should have known. You totally smashed that rock."

"Ha ha, very funny. But seriously, I'm okay. The worst part of it was that wonder doctor's hands were like ice."

A look passed over his face, but it was gone a moment later. "Wonder doctor?" He asked as he laughed.

"Well, yeah. The guy barely looks old enough to be in med school, much less a full doctor. Not to mention he looks like he should be playing a doctor on tv, not actually be a doctor."

Jake muttered to himself, and I laughed. "No worries. Supermodel or not, the cold really icks me out."

Suddenly, he was all smiles again. "Alright, well… Should I get Charlie to get you some crutches or something?"

I blushed. "Uhm, I already have some at home. Just help me to my dad's cruiser?"

He eyed me. "Geeze, Bells, am I going to have to start following you around with a mass of pillows or something?"

I actually laughed at that one. "I can't help it if I'm clumsy. Mom said I got it from Dad, but I've never seen him so much as bump into a table." I grunted as I was helped to stand fully, and swayed on my feet. Jake quickly put his arm about my waist to help support me. I blushed, and he ducked his head. "I guess maybe I got it in reverse. I'm clumsy everywhere but in the kitchen, he's a major klutz in the kitchen. The man manages to burn water!"

Jake laughed as he helped me along. My dad spotted us and quirked an eyebrow, but gave a nod to let us know it was okay to head out to the car before he turned back to chat with my doctor.

Halfway out to the car, I suddenly realized hardly any of my weight was on my good leg. Jake was carrying most of it, and looked to be barely straining. "Geeze, Jake. You're kind of buff for a fourteen year old."

"Nah." But I could tell he blushed, despite the cheesy grin on his face.

'Oops maybe I should stop encouraging the kid.'

"Oh, there's the cruiser!" I was glad for the sudden distraction. Jake helped me over to it, to stretch out in the back seat as my dad came over and offered him a ride home. The two of them chatted away about Billy and others on the reservation as I drifted off.


	5. Chapter Four

August 2004

Forks, Washington – Bella

Monday morning before class was full of teasing about my little accident. Apparently, the news had spread that I wasn't seriously hurt, so it was pretty much open season. I just let it go. From previous experience, I knew it would more than likely already be old news by lunch.

I was pretty fast on my crutches, but I still arrived to first period early, just to be safe. I sat down and watched as familiar faces filed in to their usual seats. I always sat to the far side of the room in the classrooms that had windows, so I could enjoy the sunshine on the days we had any. My crutches were against the wall, and I was already started on copying the daily notes from the board when the bell rang.

Mrs. Williams was never late for class, but the other kids didn't mind taking advantage of the fact that she was that morning, out of their seats to talk to one another. When she showed up, she pointedly cleared her throat to gain attention, and everyone quickly scurried back to their seats. "Class," she began, an amused smirk on her lips. "We have a couple of new students with us today."

When I heard that, I jerked my head up from my notes. I wasn't the only one who looked up, but the excitement on their faces, they were more eager to have someone new. The novelty of it had their rapt attention.

My only thought as I looked up at their faces was to wonder if their touches were as cold as their father's.

"This is Alice Cullen," Mrs. Williams introduced. Alice was full of eager smiles as her eyes swept over her new classmates. Like the doctor, she looked as if she should be a super model. She had cropped black hair that pointed out in every direction. She was almost pixie-like, at least half a foot shorter than even I was. I froze when her sweeping gaze paused to linger on me. Her face was strangely blank for a moment before se beamed.

"May I have that seat, Mrs. Williams?" She gestured o the one directly beside me. I couldn't help a blush as a classroom full of eyes swept in my direction, wondering if I somehow knew these beautiful strangers.

"Uhm, certainly, Ms. Cullen," the teacher replied, clearly started by the girl's boldness.

Alice's movements were the epitome of grace, smooth – almost as if she danced over to me instead of walked. As she sat down next to me, she smiled winningly. I couldn't help but smile back even as I blushed.

As I looked back to the front of the class, my breath briefly caught in my throat as I caught a full look of the boy. There was a bell-like giggle from my side. I guess the sister found my stare to be amusing, but at the moment, I didn't care. It wasn't as if I was the only one anyhow.

For the lack of a better word, he was beautiful. Smooth, carefully sculpted features – the figure of a Greek god, with bronze hair and golden eyes, which seemed strangely perfectly suited to him, despite their odd hue. At the moment, those eyes were settled on his sister as he watched her with something akin to a mixture of confusion and horror.

But as Mrs. Williams cleared her throat, the expression disappeared. "And this is Edward Cullen."

I froze again, only this time all the awe was absent, replaced by the fear of my nightmare. Had I been imagining him? Was he the figure that moved in the shadows?

Alice was oblivious to my change in behavior as she patted the tabletop of the desk behind her, clearly meaning for her brother to sit there. My breath caught in my throat as he approached. But as he did, a tortured expression suddenly crossed his features. Though it was gone a moment longer, his steps picked up pace as he breezed right past us to the empty back row of seats, then all the way to the other side of the room.

Even through my surprise, I was somewhat relieved. Alice had twisted around to look at Edward; though it was clear he had no intention to pay her any mind. Mrs. Williams finally spoke up with instructions to copy the notes on the board, then to read some chapters from our books that we had been assigned the week before. I'd laughed to myself at that one. Pride and Prejudice. I'd already read that one at least a dozen times already. It mainly seemed as if Mrs. Williams gave us a little more freedom this period, she must have known she'd have little hope of holding the attention of the class. She was right. Most the girls in the class gave what they must have thought were secretive glances toward the back of the room. The boys either glanced at Alice, or did their best to capture the attention of the girls.

I just kept my head down and gave it a shake. Sure they were beautiful, but neither looked to be the sort that could or would be flattered by such attention.

So I was caught unaware as Alice leaned over and tapped me on the shoulder about halfway through class. I looked up. "Uhm… yes?

"You look bored," she pointed out with a small giggle. "But you don't really seem o be the sort that dislikes Jane Austen."

I blinked a few times at her before I slowly answered. "No. I actually love Jane Austen. But I have all her books at home. They're pretty worn out from all the times I've read them."

"Ah. That sounds about right."

"Uhm… I'm sorry. Do I know you? I'll be really embarrassed if I'm supposed to know you…"

"Oh!" She giggled again. "No, no. I'm sorry, I tend to get ahead of myself at times. I just get a feeling about people sometimes, and I think we're going to be really good friends!"

I couldn't help it, her smile was infectious. I smiled back at her.

"That and I haven't yet seen a girl that can keep her eyes off my brother. Very impressive, uhm…?"

"Bella," I supplied as I ducked my head to hide a blush. "And, well… he –is- gorgeous. Both of you look like you should be on magazine covers, but, uhm…"

She seemed to take my compliment in stride. Probably heard it all her life long. "But?"

"Well, honestly… he sort of creeps me out." I refused to mention my dream.

Alice laughed yet again. "You're too funny, Bella. I'm sure Edward would love to hear that, though…" She twisted around to look back at him. From the corner of my eyes, I could see him glower at her. It would have been funny, if it weren't so terrifying. But then she twisted back to face me. "So, what's your next class?"

"Uhm... Earth Science."

"Oh! Me too!" She beamed at me. "See? It's fate. We're meant to be best friends!"

I smiled at her again as Mrs. Williams looked up from her work. "Ms. Swan? If you'd like to leave early to make it to your next class on time, please go right ahead." Alice's hand shot up in the air. "Err… yes, Ms. Cullen?"

"May I help Bella, Mrs. Williams?"

"Oh. Certainly, Ms. Cullen. That's very kind of you."

Alice hummed a happy tune to herself as she helped me to balance on my crutches, and then scooped up my books on top of hers.

My locker was close by, so we stopped at it. She leaned back against them as I worked on getting my locker open, and then got the right books out. "So, new best friend. Tell me about you!"

Normally, I'd be too shy to talk about myself, but I got the feeling that I would have trouble ever denying Alice anything. "Well, I live with my father. He just made Chief of Police over the summer."

"Oh, right! Charlie Swan! Carlisle's mentioned him before."

"Right, up… my mom lives in Phoenix with her husband Phil. I'm pretty boring, actually. I pretty much spend my spare time reading. I hang out with kids from school sometimes, but they mostly seem pretty artificial, outside of Angela and Ben, really… uhm… don't repeat that to anyone, please?"

Alice's eyes twinkled as if she had just been let in on some big secret. "I would never betray your confidence."

I gave a faint smile as we made a brief stop by her locker as the bell rang to let class out. "So, anything else?"

"Uhm, well… I spend more time down at La Push, really. I've pretty much been best friends with Jacob since he was born. Before, if you listen to my dad tell the story." I laughed a little.

She smiled in return, though it looked somehow more strained than before. But it passed quickly, and her bubbly mannerisms settled back in. "Well, guess we'll save the real secrets for another time. But, best friends have all he time in the world, right?" She beamed at me as she sat my books down on my desk and flitted off to the back of the room.

For a few moments, I was bewildered. I felt for sure that she would have sat at my table with me. But I just got my things ready as everyone else filed in. Then when –he- walked in, everything made sense. Great. What was Alice trying to do?

I guess it should have made me feel better to see the way that he glared at her, but it still somehow offended me that he was so adverse to being anywhere near me. So I told myself to react similarly. As he sat down, I used my good foot to push my chair as far as I could from him. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the briefly surprised, then amused look on his face. Then it was gone, and he leaned away from me, the tortured look returned. As if he were in pain from simply being near me. I huffed from annoyance as he teacher walked in with the bell. He promptly shut off the light and told us to take notes as he went to the slide projector set up at the back of the room. My breathing hitched at the sudden darkness.

I've never been afraid of the dark, but seeing Edward after having heard his name in my dreams.. all of a sudden, anything that resembled the shadows seemed dangerous. I twisted the bracelet on my wrist once, then began to take notes.


	6. Chapter Five

August 2004

Forks, Washington – Edward

Alice had been especially hard to figure out ever since we had decided to return to forks. Her visions reminded me of an impatient television viewer flicking through channels, never lingering on any one for more than a couple of seconds. She said she couldn't make much sense of them either, she knew so little about those whose decisions were shaping those visions. That fact put most of us on edge. Only Alice and Emmett seemed not only at ease, but almost eager. Alice because somehow she felt, amongst all the chaos, something good awaited us in forks. Emmett didn't really care either way, as long as it was a break from routine.

That first week of school that we were unable to attend seemed longer than it should have, especially for someone who had almost a century of practice in patience. But one clear thing stood out in the visions, and that was the high school. Carlisle and I both insisted on us all hunting before we could attend our first class.

Then the teacher brought us before the class in the tired but inevitable practice of introducing the new students. Alice's eyes roamed the classroom full of faces, clearly expectant.

I idly skimmed through the thoughts of our new classmates. The reaction to our appearances no longer really amused me, knowing what I did – that it was all part of the trap to lure in our natural prey.

But my thoughts were quickly interrupted by Alice's suddenly solid vision. My eyes found the girl that she intended to sit beside, and confusion set in, closely followed by frustration all behind a carefully practiced mask of calm.

Alice's vision had solidified somewhat, though it was still brief. The girl – Bella Swan, from the thoughts of those who looked at her curiously as Alice seated herself – was at our side, clearly enjoying our company instead of being afraid.

That vision quickly disappeared, though, as the teacher spoke me name. All of a sudden, everything about her body language spoke of fear. I knew what Alice intended as she motioned for me to sit behind her. It was clear that she was already attached to this girl, and she wanted to know more about this reaction. My own curiosity led me down the row of seats. Then, as I approached, I was assaulted by her scent, and I know the pain it caused me to resist showed on my face.

As I walked as far away as possible, Alice's vision shifted again. Bella with us again, outside as we played a game of baseball. But not on the sidelines, as a human would have to be in such a game. But smiling as she rounded the bases, brief beams of sunlight from the storm clouds touching her sparkling skin.

This only solidified Alice's resolve, resulting in yet another vision of just the two of them together, Alice doing Bella's hair up very elegantly. I gritted my teeth. As I sat and listened to the conversation between the two girls, I was grateful that the seat I had chosen was beneath a vent. The scent was hardly pleasing, but it was no where near as painful as hers. Alice seemed so certain of this girl's place in our future. It was all I could do to keep from following through with the plans the darker side of my mind created to end her life now. There was no room to plan for prevention when it was all I could do then to keep myself from it here and now.

When the two of them left, I allowed myself to breathe again. Her scent still lingered, but not as strongly. Maybe it would help to desensitize me to it.

Not that Alice would let up. She felt surer of my strength than I did, and filled her thoughts with everything Bella told her about herself. I couldn't make myself stop listening to them. All of a sudden, I heard her grimace internally, and she was more direct in her thought.

'Edward, the La Push treaty… She's –going- to be my best friend.'

I grimaced at her insistence. Alice could be fairly hard-headed when she made up her mind. I decided to talk to Carlisle later, but I saw no change in Alice's vision.

I tried to solidify my errant resolve as I entered the door to my next class. But I froze in the doorway as I took in the scene. Alice simply shot me a serene smile. Emmett was at her side, and he grinned over at me.

'So change her. You know you'll never get Alice to let up until you do.'

I glowered as I made my way to the empty seat beside Bella. It almost amused me to watch her physically draw away. Good. She may not have the sense to be afraid of all vampires, but at least she showed some level of fear of the one who posed the greatest threat to her.

Even if she proved impossible to read. I'd not come across it once in all my years and travels. Suddenly, I knew I would find a way to resist. Even if I had to leave. Perhaps go to Alaska. I could not kill her. She called to me as an intellectual. I had to know what it meant for me to not be able to read her thoughts.

Was it something in me? Had I simply taken my gift for granted all of these years, and it was now beginning to fail me? Or was there something in this girl's mind that blocked me out? Was it something that could possibly be duplicated? I was sure my brothers and sisters wouldn't mind being let in on –that- particular trick.

As I made that decision, I watched for any change in Alice's vision. It did shift slightly, but only in that I was no longer with my family.

'Edward! What did you do?'

I pointedly ignored her, brow furrowed as I folded my arms and leaned away from Bella. Just what did Alice plan? None of my brothers or sisters, or even Esme felt confident enough about their control to attempt such a thing, and Carlisle wouldn't take someone's life and humanity when they had other choices.

Just what sort of trouble was this Bella Swan going to get herself into?


	7. Chapter Six

September 2004

Forks, Washington – Edward

"No, no, no! Alice! It's not going to happen! She's not sick. There's no way some rogue vampire can get through all seven of us."

Alice huffed and stamped her foot. Normally, it would be laughable when someone of Alice's size and demeanor tried to be intimidating. But from her, it somehow was. "Who said it gets to be your decision, Edward? We could vote!"

Carlisle looked a little uncomfortable at the direction of the conversation and Esme seemed to echo his sentiments. I knew Jasper would stand by Alice, especially if it meant he could stop feeling the pain I endured each time I caught her scent. Emmett would as well, partially because he didn't like to see his family in pain, but mainly because the thought of it didn't bother him one bit. Rosalie, I knew, wouldn't hesitate to vote against turning Bella.

Alice weighed the odds herself, then pursed her lips in frustration.

"Even if we all decided to, it would be irrelevant against what she wants. And I can't imagine anyone would –choose- to be a monster while their whole life was ahead of them."

"And if she were to have some sort of accident? I know you've seen into the minds of the people around here. Adorable as she is, Bella is a total klutz!"

I gritted my teeth. "I'll protect her, if that's what it takes, Alice. But that girl, any human, deserves to live their life in peace."

Alice glowered for a moment, but then beamed once more. I just turned and left out the front door. Behind me, I heard Alice explain that the vision hadn't changed at all.


	8. Chapter Seven

September 2004

Forks, Washington – Bella

"Please, please, please Bella?"

I looked at Alice blankly as I held my lunch tray. "Huh?"

"Your birthday's on Monday, can I pleeease throw you a party this weekend?"

"Oh, uhm… Well, my dad and I usually go down to La Push and we have a cook-out and a bonfire. I'm not really much of a party person, really. But I'm sure you would be welcome, if you want to come!"

"Oh… no thanks. But I'll think of something else. Later, Bella!" Then she danced off toward the table that she shared with her other adoptive siblings.

She had pointed them each out to me one day. Emmett Cullen was in our grade, and looked rather like a bear. He was all muscle and strength. It might have been more intimidating if it didn't always look like he was constantly at the center of all the jokes. Then the other two were twins, and a year ahead of us. Rosalie Hale was amazingly beautiful, but so much so that it was clear she knew it. Her manner was always icy and grim, and she would glare at me sometimes in a way that made my blood run cold. Then Jasper Hale was scary in his own way. Still somewhat beautiful, but always quiet, brooding. As if he held some sort of terrible secret. But every now and then, his face would break into a smile at Alice, and he wouldn't seem so scary anymore.

All-in-all, it was Rosalie and Edward that I feared the most.

I would occasionally look over at their table and wonder. Was Edward really the one from the nightmare I'd had? It seemed too impossible, that my mind would work like that. Too convenient.

But then, it wasn't like Edward was a common name. And then there was the cold touch from the nightmare, and the coldness of the doctor's hands. The hands of the adoptive father of all five of these new students.

I quickly ducked my head as he looked in my direction, and heard Jess giggle at my side.

"Bella! Does somebody have a crush on Edward Cullen?"

My visible shudder must have caught her attention, because she was quick to back off and turn her attention back to our other friends. It was then that I made a decision.

That night, my fingers actually trembled as I untied the knot that held the woven bracelet from Jake in place. I then carefully sat it on my nightstand, before I changed my mind, got up, and took the bracelet into the bathroom and left it on the counter.

It took me a lot longer than normal to get to sleep that night. But when I finally did, I didn't have to wait long to be plunged into that strange state of being where I looked down at myself asleep.

Fear gripped my heart as I waited for events to unfold. I tossed and turned a few times before I murmured his name. On cue, the shadows in my room shifted, and a figure moved toward my bed. Only this time, a shaft of moonlight came in through my open window and illuminated his face. I gasped, even though part of me had expected it.

It was Edward Cullen. Nothing to deny about it. Edward Cullen had been the one that had haunted me sleep since the end of the last school year. Even if I had not always known the name, and only just now allowed myself to connect his face to the nightmare, though I'd suspected it for days.

Then his hand reached out for me, and suddenly, everything shifted. I felt the chill ripple forth from the point on my cheek where his fingers made contact, but I no longer looked down at the scene from beside my bed. I gazed up from my bed, and looked up into eyes of liquid gold.

My breath caught in my throat. Was I awake?

"E-Edward?"

In the next moment, his touch was gone, and him with it. I shot up in my bed and struggled to hold back a scream with short, strained gasps. My cheek still felt cold. I quickly got up and went to the bathroom to snatch up my bracelet, my fingers trembled yet again as I re-tied it around my wrist. When I returned to my room, I shivered. I looked up, and found my window wide open.

The next day at school, I slowly built up my courage as lunch time approached. When I walked into the cafeteria, all the Cullens were already seated at their usual table. I sucked in a deep breath, then made my quickly toward their table with what I hoped was a confident expression.

"Oh, hi Bella! Are you going to sit with us today?"

Rosalie glared at Alice, but Alice ignored her and just smiled up at me blissfully.

"Not today, Alice." I shifted my attention, before I lost my nerve. "Edward, could I talk to you, please?" He turned somewhat, then looked up expectantly. I gnashed my teeth. "Alone?"

He hesitated a moment before he unfolded his legs with what seemed to be exaggerated slowness. When he stood, he stuffed his hands into his pockets, then waited for me to lead the way.

As I started out, I heard whispers start up from all directions. Jess would probably feel like I had lied to her yesterday. But I didn't care. I had to confront him, to find out what was going on around me that no one seemed to be bothered to let me in on. I lead the way outside on my crutches. Edward didn't make one sound of complaint at the distance or the speed, even opened the door and held it for me, before his hands went right back into his pockets. Then I drew in a breath as I turned to face him.

"Why were you in my room last night, Edward?"

I expected him to laugh at me, but he didn't even seem amused. His voice was deadpan as he mocked my question. "You know, girls who dream about boys coming into their room at night really shouldn't publicize it."

I gritted my teeth. "It was never a dream, Edward. More like a nightmare."

His brow suddenly furrowed. "Never? Have you had this dr- er, nightmare before, Bella?" He suddenly seemed curious, desperate for answers.

I blushed hotly, and noticed him shift away from me and draw in a deep breath. "Yes, I've had the –nightmare- before. Ever since the beginning of summer." Why was I compelled to tell him this? But I couldn't stop myself. "I'm always in my room, watching myself sleep. In the beginning, some shadow would just be in my room in the corner, like it was watching me. Then, a couple weeks before school started, I… heard myself say your… the name Edward. Then the shadow touched my cheek and it was freezing. And it attacked me with fangs." I sucked in a deep breath and kept on while I still had the courage. "I stopped having it for a while." I decided not to reveal the reason why. "And then you showed up at school. Then last night, the nightmare came back, only after I said the name… I saw your face."

"Just sounds like a very odd coincidence to me, Bella. Don't you think?" It sounded almost like there was pleading in his voice. Like he wanted to convince me to believe that.

But I just pulled in a deep breath and pushed onward. "It's not like Edward is a common name these days. Besides. Last night I thought that it was changing even more, but I know that I woke up. You were in my room last night, Edward, and I want to know why… and how is it you got out so quickly."

He glared down at me. "Sounds like you have an over-active imagination, Bella."

I steeled myself and glared back up at him. "An over-active imagination didn't leave my window open, -Edward-."

"You probably left it open yourself," he said angrily, dismissively.

"It was forty-five degrees last night, Edward. I hate the cold. My window was closed when I went to bed."

Then the bell rang, and he suddenly adopted a more relaxed pose and let out a breath. Had he held that the whole time? "You'd better get to class, Bella."

"I can be a few minute late. They're used to it, with my crutches."

He gnashed his teeth briefly before he turned and started back inside. "You know, Bella…" I was surprised by the sudden softness in his voice. "Sometimes there are things in this world that people are better off not knowing." He turned to face me, his eyes pleading. "Can't you accept that and go on with your life? Just… forget it all?"

Again, I was almost tempted. But I drew in a breath and stared up at him. "Not a chance."

All the kindness disappeared. "Your choice, to waste your life on such foolish pursuits. Get used to disappointment, Isabella Swan."

I glared at him as I went back inside. And he continued to infuriate me – he remained at my side, took my books and refused to let me carry them to class. I turned to snap something at him as he sat my things on my desk, but then the bell rang, and he left.


	9. Chapter Eight

September 2004

Forks, Washington – Edward

Alice had warned me that Bella intended to confront me about my presence in her room the night before, but nothing could have prepared me for how coherent and together she was about it. How could I have made such a stupid mistake as to leave her window open? But I had just gotten in when I heard my name whispered in her sleep caught my attention.

I'd been there every night since I had declared myself her protector. Watched her sleep from the old rocking chair in the corner as I tried to figure out the mystery that surrounded her. Why could I not hear her thoughts? What was going to happen that had Alice's vision set so solidly that nothing could make it waver?

But everything had changed the moment she said my name in her sleep. All in one moment, she had ceased to be just an experiment, a curiosity. Suddenly, her safety meant more than just protecting the life of one human girl. My entire worldview shifted at one word.

I was in love with Bella Swan.

I'd cursed myself all the night long once I had returned home. I had heard the concerned thoughts of my family, but I hadn't cared. Nothing could have calmed me down.

I considered leaving again, but suddenly the thought seemed intensely painful. I did not recall even my transformation being as painful as the thought of living in a world without her in it.

I finally began to calm as the sun rose, and was immediately assailed by more of Alice's visions. Apparently, the sudden shift in my emotions had changed things dramatically. Visions of Bella and I together, with her safely still a human flitted across my mind, and I felt almost warmed by it.

Then there was the vision of Alice doing Bella's hair again, only now she was in a beautiful white gown. Still human, but still impossibly more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. Her lingering humanity almost tempted me to pursue this path.

Then I was suddenly seeing my mouth hover above her neck, venom dripping as I drew away from a fresh wound. Her face was a picture of blissful acceptance before it twisted in pain.

When she screamed, I echoed her. I stormed out and glared at Alice across the hallway. She simply threw up her arms in surrender as if to say 'Don't shoot the messenger,' but her face seemed truly apologetic and almost as upset as I was.

I left to go check on Bella again before school, watched her emerge from the tight cocoon of her quilt and pad off toward the bathroom. Then I waited patiently for her to confront me. And it had hurt me more than I thought possible to hear her describe the nightmare. To hear that she viewed me as the monster I knew myself to be.

Somehow I knew that she knew more about us than she let on. And that terrified me more, because I knew what that meant, in the eyes of the Volturi. So I had tried to plead with her to drop the matter. When that hadn't worked, I resulted to cruelty. But even then, I couldn't stop the impulse the impulse to help her. To stay by her side as long as possible. Even to breathe in her scent, despite the fact that it was already firmly implanted in my memory.

When we returned that afternoon, I didn't hesitate to call everyone together.

"We have to leave Forks," I said plainly. As soon as the words left my mouth, I began to see the television-flicker style of images start up in Alice's mind again. With six others in the room to work back and forth with my decision, I knew it gave her a headache. Slowly, the answers came.

"Of course, son. Whatever you feel that you need."

Esme was next, but her nod of agreement was slow, uncertain. "Whatever will make you happy, Edward."

No, I would be miserable until the day that Bella Swan died. But I knew that I would suffer no more beyond that, because I would cease to exist. Alice glowered at me as that vision flickered in her mind.

"No," Rosalie stated firmly. "I like it here, we just got settled. I don't want to move again. I don't know what your problem with this girl is, Edward, but you'll just have to get over it."

"He loves her," Jasper stated blandly, and Alice nodded a quick affirmation.

Suddenly, Esme's opinion shifted and she smiled up at me. "Oh, Edward!"

My hands clenched into fists at my sides. "No. Yes… Yes, I love her, but it's something more dangerous than that. Somehow, she knows about us. More than she's letting on."

"Were you finally able to read her mind?" Carlisle asked, truly interested.

"No! But I can tell… from the way she acts around me, the way she questioned me today. She's… been having a nightmare since we got here in the summer about a… monster with fangs attacking her. And I noticed she's always wearing that woven bracelet with Quileute tribal markings on it."

"They told?" Emmett roared angrily, ready for a fight at the thought of the treaty being broken.

"I doubt it very seriously, Emmett. It's been so long, it's probably been relegated to nothing more than a legend to the younger generation. Besides, if she was more certain, I'm sure she would have said something to either Edward or Alice."

"Either way, I don't want to hang around to give her the chance to become certain."

"I wish you would consider allowing her to be turned, Edward. You know how long I've wanted you to find someone to love this way. But I won't ask you to do something you don't feel capable of."

"This is the best possible way for me to love her, Esme. To allow her to live her life out as she should."

Rosalie's thoughts were still torn, but I knew her mind well enough. If her choices were to leave or watch a perfectly healthy human be turned to this existence, she would leave.

"I still think you're crazy, but you know I'm behind you, Edward." Emmett dropped back on the couch, clearly disgruntled.

I already knew Carlisle's decision. "Jaz?"

His eyes flickered briefly to Alice before he nodded as well. "I know Alice loves her too, but… I know how afraid of you and what you – we – might be frightens her."

Alice looked to be on the verge of tears as she looked up at me. "I won't give her up, Edward. I won't turn her myself. I don't know that I could. But I won't give Bella up."

I gritted my teeth, but nodded. That was as close to a 'yes' that I would ever get from Alice. "The sooner, the better," I said simply.

Then my family was up and all over the house. It was a matter of a few minutes before everything we would take with us was packed away, though Alice dragged her feet in protest in every way she could. All my patience was returned, now that I was doing all I could to keep Bella safe. So I smiled at Alice's glare, then we left Forks behind.


	10. Chapter Nine

Time Passed

Forks, Washington – Bella

Months passed somehow rather easily after the Cullens left. I missed Alice terribly, despite the fact that I hadn't had much time to get to know her. She had somehow seemed like one of the best friends I could have possibly asked for, and part of me missed the might have been. But the way they had left only made me feel surer of my convictions, though I didn't say anything to anyone about it.

I felt like I was being watched from time to time. But anytime I tried to find out who it was, there was never anyone there.

Some time after the start of the new year, Paul got just as sick as Sam had. Then the same thing, he pushed himself away from all his friends. Jake joked that it wasn't like anyone missed him. But toward the end of the school year, Jared started to hang around with Sam and Paul.

Since my dad had gotten me the old truck from Billy for my birthday, I spent more and more time down at La Push, much to Jacobs delight. I couldn't help that I felt a lot safer down there. All the feelings of being watched disappeared.

I got a summer job at Newton's Olympic Outfitters, before the school year let out, so I started out just working for a couple hours on Saturdays.

That was also around when the stress began to build. And I couldn't even say it was the 'normal' teen stress that seemed to plague my classmates – studying for finals, family disagreements over how to spend the summer, issues with boyfriends or girlfriends. No. I had to deal with the feeling of being watched intensifying, somehow knowing it had something to do with the fact of what the Cullens were. Deal with Jake becoming more and more disgruntled over the way Sam and his 'gang' seemed to exclude everyone else, but none of the elders would bat an eye in response to voice concerns.

So, I began to make plans to actually get away for part of the summer.


	11. Chapter Ten

July 2005

Forks, Washington – Bella

"Come on, Dad! Mom already said it was okay with her, and it's not like I'm going to be alone. Jake got Billy's permission, and Leah really needs to get away for a little while. I already cleared the time off with the Newton's, I've been saving for it. Leah can drive part of the way."

"I don't know, Bells. San Francisco is a pretty big city…"

It sounded like he was beginning to drop his guard. I smiled. I had planned this part. "Dad, San Francisco is only the twelfth largest city in the U.S. Phoenix is fifth. And, like I said, Jake and Leah will be with me. And while I may be clumsy, I'm far from stupid."

He mumbled to himself, and then tried a new tactic. "Are you sure that old truck can make it?"

"Actually, we're going to borrow Harry's jeep. Sue has a car they can use while we're gone. And we're not even going to waste a ton of money staying at a hotel. We found a camp site and made reservations there. We even got a couple of those pay-per-use cell phones, so we can check in whenever you need us to."

He sighed. "Well…"

I grinned. "Thanks, Dad!"

A few days later, we were stretched out on a beach. Well, Leah was stretched out. Jake had gotten to me faster to help make sure I was covered with sun block. Though I don't really think Leah tried too hard when I had asked for her to help. I'd be annoyed, if it weren't for the fact that Jake's behavior and my continued attempts at indifference actually amused her. And right then, she actually smiled a little. The first time I'd seen her smile in months.

Then Jake was up and away down the beach, since he had failed to talk me or Leah into joining him for surfing lessons. I just made sure to have my camera out and ready to capture evidence of numerous wipe-outs.

"He's really into you, you know."

I glanced back at Leah, and gave a faint smile before I looked back to watch Jake mimic the motions of his instructor, still on the sand. I snapped a quick shot. "I know. I'm just not sure what to do about it."

"You could try giving the guy a break, for starters."

"I don't know. He's two years younger than me…"

Leah just made a sound that was torn between disgust and disbelief.

I gave a wry smile. "Yeah, I know. That's pretty lame. Jake's actually surprisingly mature… at times…" I couldn't help a laugh and quickly snapped another shot, managing to catch Jake in the middle of falling head first into the water.

"Yeah, well, you're hardly an old lady, Bella. And I've seen or heard you do is dodge Quil and that Mike guy at your school."

"I know. I'm just not a frivolous dater."

Leah snickered, and I got a quick picture of her. "Hey!"

"Relax… just proof for Sue and Harry that you do have a mode outside of 'zombie'."

She scowled at me before she sighed. "Good point. I think they were more eager for this trip than I was. I know Seth was."

I tensed as I got the feeling of being watched again. I spun around, but didn't see anyone I recognized. I huffed in frustration, and then got up. "I'm going to swim a little, Leah, want to come?"

"Hmm… Nah. I'm going to enjoy having this much sunshine for a little while longer."

"Alright. See ya!" I rushed out to the water and dove in as soon as I was able. As I swam, the feeling didn't really lessen, but it was at least a little easier to ignore with something to do.

When Jake's lesson ended, we left the beach to get out of the sun for a while and to get some lunch. None of us were too eager to be at the beach when it would be the most crowded, so we decided to go see some sites, then went back to camp to fix ourselves dinner.

Our days fell pretty much into that same pattern, though a couple of times we did spend the morning and afternoon both at the beach, our lunch a picnic on the sand.

Jake actually talked us both into giving surfing a try. Leah took to it a lot easier than even Jake ad, and I inevitably didn't have any luck at all until the end of my second lesson. I just stood for a few seconds, but it was long enough for Leah to get a picture. Long enough for me to feel the adrenaline rush that came with it.

It was indescribable. But it kept me peddling out for more attempts after the lesson had ended. Jake stayed with me, even if he spent the majority of the time laughing. He did try to tell me a few tips his instructor had let him in on that mine hadn't mentioned.

By the end of the day, Leah had figured out how to take video on my digital camera and caught me managing to ride a wave all the way through. I was proud of myself, no matter how much Jake reminded me that it was probably the smallest wave the beach had seen all day.

Then I remembered a request from my mother for some sunset photos. I figured it was the least I could do, since she had both given me the camera for my last birthday and agreed that I could take this trip.

Leah begged off, said something about a headache, and quickly slipped into a tent. Jake, of course, agreed to go. Ordinarily, I might have been annoyed. And I was, for a little while.

In the end, it felt right to have him be there. He had talked about a mile a minute on the way over, but fell silent as we got to the beach. I left my flip-flops in the jeep, and he followed suit.

I loved the feeling of sand between my toes, and even snapped a photo of my feet next to Jake's. They still looked ridiculously pale next to his, even if I had managed to gain a little color. I giggled at the fact, and he just grinned in this lopsided, 'yeah, she's nuts' kind of way. I ignored him, and instead began to snap photos of the sun as it touched, then passed beyond the horizon.

I yawned as the darkness slowly set it.

"Tired?"

"No… I'm exhausted."

"Oh…" There was disappointment in his voice. "Want to go back to camp?"

"Mmm… nah. Not yet, at least. It's too beautiful and peaceful out here right now to leave just yet…"

He smiled and nodded his agreement. We lapsed into silence as we walked along. It was slow-going, given that I had to stop every few steps and squish my toes down into the wet sand, much to Jake's amusement.

When a breeze picked up, Jake suddenly snatched the camera from me and took a picture of me. I blinked a few times to get rid of the spots in front of my eyes. "What was that for?"

"Uhm, nothing. Just get me a copy?" He shuffled his feet a little.

I stared for a moment before I decided I was too tired to think too clearly, and shrugged my shoulders. "Sure."

We walked along a little further, and on a whim, I snapped a few shots of the night-time sky over the ocean. I think I liked it even more than the sunset. I also got one of Jake, as revenge.

For a while, it seemed like we were actually alone on the stretch of beach. But then I must have sighted the couple first, because when I blushed and turned quickly from the sight of the two of them tangled up together, I smacked my forehead right into Jake's face.

"Ow!" We both jerked back quickly.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Jake! Are you okay?"

"-You're- apologizing?

"Yeah? I'm the klutz here, remember?" Then I was suddenly suspicious. "Why would –you- need to apologize, Jake?"

"Uhm… for trying to kiss you?" I just stared, and he took my silence as a chance to explain himself. "Well, you know I like you, Bella, and I've been trying to work up the courage to do it ever since we got here. I don't know, walking barefoot on a beach at sunset sounds kind of cliché, but it seemed perfect at the time…"

"It's not sunset, Jake… the moon is already up in the sky."

He blushed darkly. "I know. It took me a while, like I said. Guess it's not really the 'perfect moment' anymore, huh?"

I was silent a moment before I smirked. "I don't know, I think the fact that it's not perfect makes it perfect."

"Uhm… huh?"

"Kiss me, Jake."

He stared for just a moment before he quickly closed the distance between us. His hands came up to my face and cradled it gently as his lips descended to mine. It was almost hesitant, despite the eagerness he had approached me with, and surprisingly gentle. I know it couldn't have lasted more than a moment or two, but it was very, very sweet. It was like the invisible barrier between us had disappeared. I knew I was blushed darkly from the heat in my face. His usually warm skin felt surprisingly cool against my skin.

"Why did it take you so long to do that, Jake? I know you've liked me all this time…"

"Why did it take you so long to let me?" He teased as his hand settled on the back of my neck, as if it belonged there. And somehow, it did.

"I was afraid, I guess…"

"I'm not that bad, Bells," he muttered, seeming offended as he started to turn away.

"No, no, no!" My arms went around his waist to keep him beside me. He seemed to like that enough to turn back to me and listen. "Geeze, Jake, are you ever going to stop growing?"

He laughed. "Someday. But me being tall and having a few muscles scares you?"

"No!" I stuck my tongue out at him childishly. "Just, well… We've been friends all your life, Jake. I guess it is a little weird to realize tat you no longer need –my- protection, even after I've constantly been seeking yours. I almost feel guilty. I feel like I use you more than I'm a friend to you. I'm always running to you when I don't feel safe, either from nightmares or feeling like I'm being watched. You always make me feel… warm. Like my own personal sun."

He grinned down at me. "Flattered as I am, Bella, I fail to see the bad side in all of that."

I sighed and rested my forehead against his chest, and his arms went around me. Why did it have to be so easy to be with him like this? "None of it –is- bad, Jake. That's my point. Having you as my friend all these years has come to mean everything to me. I just… don't want to have that ruined because we get into a fight one day and never talk to each other again."

"I think it would be impossible for me to stay away from you, Bells, no matter what. You'd have to tell me to leave, first. The only way I would leave is if it would save you from pain."

"You know, for someone who claims to have taken so long to have the courage to kiss me in the 'perfect' moment, you sure seem to be having an easy time finding all the right words to say."

I expected him to laugh, but he just cradled my face in his hands and made me look up at him. "Because they're the truth. I will –never- hurt you, Bella."

I reached up, tangled my fingers in his long hair, and pulled his head down toward mine in a far less timid kiss. My lips parted against his and his arms surrounded me tightly, once the surprise had passed. By the time we parted, we both had to catch our breaths."

"Wow… If being honest is all it takes to get you to kiss me like that, I'm going to have to learn how to lie to you."

I laughed and blushed before I swayed a little on my feet. He helped to hold me up, concerned until I explained that exhaustion had just caught up to me. He helped me back to the jeep and made sure to keep me awake on the way back to camp. Then, he virtually carried me over to my sleeping bag, which Leah had pushed outside of the tent. I was so tired that I didn't care. I was asleep before Jake even finished helping me lie down.

The next morning, Leah woke both of us up. Apparently, her parents had called her the night before. Her cousin's family had to change their plans to visit, and had in fact had to come earlier. Though I didn't think Leah minded the idea of leaving Jake and I together, from the way she watched us.

We helped her pack up her things and put them in the jeep. Jake insisted on being dropped at the beach on the way to the train station to get more time to surf, so Leah drove there with me in the passenger seat.

"So… who kissed who last night?"

My head snapped around to look at her. "What?"

She tossed back her head and laughed. Later, I would be amazed at how much good this trip had done her. Maybe because she spent most the time allowing herself to be distracted by either I and Jake or what we had chosen to do.

"Bella… The dynamics between the two of you have completely changed. I mean he didn't outright sit beside you and hold your hand, but he was closer. And he's pretty much always looked at you like a lost puppy, and today you just blushed instead of trying to avoid it." I just stared as she grinned. "Hey, maybe I just notice it because I spent so long watching these same signals from… from Sam." Her brow furrowed briefly before she smiled again. "Anyhow, I noticed."

"I know Sam loved you, Leah. There's no reason for him to hurt you like this."

"You know… I think I'm beginning to be okay. Yeah, Sam's being a jerk. But for all the time we were together, I think I at least owe him the benefit of the doubt. In the beginning, I thought it had to be me, something I did. But that's ridiculous both because it just makes me miserable looking for something that no one else can see, and if I'd upset Sam, he would have confronted me. This… avoidance thing is something else. I don't know why, but he's got to feel it's best for him to deal with it in his own way. He'll let me know, in time."

I smiled a little at her. "I hope that you're right, Leah."

"Yeah, me too. I still miss him every day at every moment. But I think I can get by a lot better now because I know this is something that he's got to get through in his own way. Then he'll come back."

I smiled over at her as we carried her things into the train station. "I hope you're right."

"I know I am," she said, and then laughed. "But you still don't get to back out of answering my question."

I blushed and shuffled my feet as she bought her ticket. I finally gave in, as we walked to the train. "We both did. He tried first, but in true klutz style, I made our heads knock together. Then he kissed me, we talked, and I… kissed him."

She grinned s she took the bag I held from my hands. "Enjoy the next couple of days, Bella." Then she boarded the train before I could ask her to decipher the cryptic talk.

But I had something to take care of. I pulled out the cell phone I'd taken, paused, and then dialed the house number. I knew Dad would be at work, but I figured it would be better to not give him a panic attack in the middle of a police station, so I left a message on the machine. "Hey, dad. Uhm, Leah got called home by family stuff. Me and Jake are going to stay here, finish out the vacation. Don't worry, we still have both the tents." Not that any of the three of us had bothered to sleep in them most nights, with how beautiful it was outside. "So… you have the number, if you need. But I know you trust me. Bye." If all else fails, guilt trip the parents. Not something I would do to actually get away from punishment if I'd actually done something wrong. But I know I hadn't and wouldn't do anything wrong. Especially not so soon after a first kiss.

I was about to climb back into the jeep when my phone rang. "Great, seriously, Dad?" I pushed the answer button. "Hello?"

"Bella?"

I blinked a few times in disbelief at the voice I heard on the other end of the line. "Alice?"

"I got the number from Jake's phone. Can you go pick him up from the beach? We showed him how to get to where we are." Her voice was oddly tense.

-We?- "Uhm, sure, Alice."

A certain amount of relief came into her tone, as if she had expected me to say no. "Thanks, Bella. See you soon."

From Alice, those words once would have been uplifting. But then I just dreaded the promise in her voice. But that still didn't stop me from doing my best to get back to Jake as soon as possible.

When I did, he looked furious. He climbed into the jeep and slammed the door behind himself. "North," he stated simply, through clenched teeth.

"…Jake?"

"I'm not an errand boy! Why can't the Cullens just find you themselves?"

"Jake… I know you're not an errand boy. If you'd prefer, I could just call Alice back and ask for directions."

He laughed. Still not back to himself, bit at least obviously not as angry. "Nah. Some of the markers they mentioned for finding the way were pretty obscure. They said it might take a practiced eye to see them. Besides. I really don't trust the Cullens. No one down at La Push does."

"Jake… that's crazy. There's nothing wrong with the Cullens. Dad was always telling me stories of how Dr. Cullen saved someone's life." Jake grunted when I paused. So I tried something of a change in topic. "How many Cullens?" I somehow felt like I had to keep the conversation going, to hold back the flood of memories of all the fears and suspicions… the nightmare.

"Three," he answered simply. "Can we just get this over with? I'd much prefer to spend as much time as I can actually enjoying the rest of this trip."

I somehow knew he meant 'enjoy time alone with you,' but I shrugged it off for now and started to drive. "Uhm, so… get any surfing in?" I turned as he pointed at something I couldn't see.

"Trying to distract me from being angry at your friend Alice?"

I gave a short laugh. "No. Trying to distract myself, actually."

His brow furrowed quickly. "Why? Did the Cullens do something to you?"

"No, no! Alice was a wonderful friend, while she was still around. Just…" I sighed. "You remember that nightmare I was having last year?"

"Uhm… the one where the shadow attacked you. You'd just heard yourself say the name 'Edward'… You stopped having that, right?" I mean, you never mentioned it again." He pointed again.

I smiled as I slowed to turn onto the trail that barely looked wide enough for the jeep. "No, I didn't. Well, just once after the night of Rebecca's wedding. But not since you gave me the bracelet." He beamed at that. "But a week into school, the Cullens showed up. Two a year ahead of me, three in my grade. Jasper and Rosalie Hale are twins. Then there's Alice, Emmett, and… Edward."

From the corner of my eye, I saw him visibly tense, and figured it was best to leave out the part about purposely having the nightmare again. Especially not that Edward had been in my room that night. "I don't like this, Bella."

"Jake… it's Alice. I trust her."

He grunted, and reluctantly told me to slow down and stop. I hadn't been paying much attention. Now that I really focused on our surroundings, I saw we were deep in a forest. We'd been driving on a trail that looked like it hadn't been used in months.

I drew in a deep breath and looked around. When my eyes fell on Jake, I discovered that he had been staring at me, a worried expression on his face.

"I'm sure, Jake."

He sighed, but nodded and turned to head further into the forest. I jogged over so I wouldn't lose track of him. As soon as I did, his hand came out of the pocket of his jeans and took mine. I blushed, but just wound my fingers through his. Everything seemed perfectly natural with him.

"Bella!" Alice jumped at me and threw her arms around me so hard I almost fell over.

I laughed and dropped Jake's hand to return the embrace. He just stuffed it back into his pocket and glared over at the other two. Trying to figure out which one was Edward, I was sure.

"Jake," Alice began pleasantly, "could we speak to Bella alone?"

I turned and nodded at him, but he just scowled. "No way."

Alice sighed dramatically. "Then at least move away far enough so that you won't overhear?"

He opened his mouth to respond again, but stopped himself at my pleading expression. Then he trudged off a few yards.

Alice looked at Edward, who seemed to know her unasked question. He gave a nod, and Alice turned back to me.

"Bella, I'm so, so sorry!"

"You could have at least told me you were going to leave. I don't even have to know why, but… you could have at least given me that."

"Er, that too. But aren't you mad about us watching you all this time?"

"That was you?" I felt momentarily vindicated for all the time I spent thinking that I was going crazy. Then, anger did set in. "Why? How?"

"Well… we were afraid for your safety, Bella…"

"My safety? I may be a klutz, but I've never gotten into something that was life-threatening!" Alice cast a glance back at Edward.

"Bella… Edward told us about the dream that you had." I scowled at her words, but quickly calmed myself as Alice took one of my hands into her own. It was freezing, despite the intense heat and humidity. "But… we got the feeling that you… knew more."

I sucked in a few shallow breaths, hoping for a deeper one to prepare myself, but couldn't seem to manage it. I had no idea where to begin. It would be silly to simply list off the reasons I thought the Quileute legend of the 'cold ones' applied to them. Alice almost seemed to expect e to say it, while Edward and Jasper stood further back and waited.

"Vampires."

Edward scowled as Alice smiled somewhat and patted my shoulder. "But you're not afraid of us, Bella?"

"I…" I cast a glance over at Edward and shivered, and quickly looked back to Alice. "Not really… not all of you, at least."

Alice gave you a wry smile. "I promise that you have nothing to fear from any of us, Bella. Our family doesn't hunt humans."

I winced at the term 'hunt humans,' but tried to catch my breath. "But what made you watch me all this time? What… what gave you that right?"

Alice sighed and looked to Edward once more. He simply scowled for a moment, paused, then seemed to relent. "Our kind has certain… laws, Bella. The most important being that no one is permitted to learn of us and be allowed to risk to continue on as they are."

"So… what, you came back to make me know for sure what you are so you can kill me?" I stared at them incredulously.

"Of course not," Jasper said calmly. "We are not the ones who enforce such laws."

"We came to figure out why your future suddenly vanished.

I felt like I was on the edge of a panic attack at Alice's words. "Vanished? What… what?"

"Some vampires have certain special abilities. Jasper has the ability to read and manipulate people's emotions." As if he had been waiting for that cue, I immediately felt somewhat calmer. And though it was a rather odd feeling, I shot him a grateful smile. "Edward has the ability to read thoughts." I glowered at that as I remembered being completely embarrassed when I had confronted him. "And I can see the future. Sort of. It's subject to change at any moment, when someone who affects that future makes a different decision.

"Uhm… okay. I think that makes sense."

"But… I've never had a vision just go completely blank before. I've been focusing on you, since we were concerned for your safety, Bella… Maybe it was a decision you made? It should have been some time this morning. Can you think of anything? This is really, really important."

My brow furrowed as I thought back over the morning. I knew that I should be in a total state of panic right now, and was actually glad of Jasper's presence. No wonder he came along. "I had to drop Leah off at the train station?"

"No, that's already happened. Anything else?"

I tried to back-track from just before I'd gotten her call. "I… decided to call my dad to tell him I was staying here with Jake to finish the vacation, I decided to say something to Sam about Leah, I decided to tell Leah about what happened between me and Jake."

"Hm…" Alice's eyes went out of focus briefly, and then she shook her head. "No, your dad's fine. That's not it." Another pause, then a giggle. "No, no… Jake's going to be, uhm, perfect."

I blushed from the way she looked at me. As if she were considering something that really shouldn't be talked about. "So, okay. Does that mean that something bad is going to happen to Sam?"

"Who's Sam?"

"You're the mind reader," I huffed.

Edward rolled his eyes. "I can't read –your- thoughts, Bella. And don't think I haven't driven myself crazy trying to figure it out."

I stared at him a moment, curiosity over-coming fear. Though that could have just been Jasper's influence. "Uhm… Sam. Sam Uley. He's a guy I know down at La Push."

"From the Quileute reservation?" Edward asked as his face shifted from that pained expression he had always worn around me to one of curiosity.

"Yeah. Why?"

Alice glanced back at Edward and Jasper, then turned back and gave me another hug. "I promise you we'll visit soon, Bella. Just be safe, okay?"

"I… wait, what?" But the three of them had already jogged off and disappeared through a thick cluster of trees and foliage.

A moment later, Jake was at my side. "What was that about?"

I shook my head. "I'm trying to figure that out myself. Give me a moment…" But then I glanced all around, and felt all the panic come back in. "Can you get us out of here?"

With a nod, he reached out, took my hand, and began to walk away. The further we got from the spot where we had run into the Cullens, the easier I was able to breathe. But it wasn't until I was back in the driver seat and we were on the way back to the beach that my mouth came unstuck.

"They just wanted to explain why they disappeared like they did last year." Even as Jake scoffed, I knew this was something I should keep from him. Jake protected me in so many ways, the least I could do was keep him off the list of 'outsiders' to the vampire world. Not that I was really a part of it. But apparently, it was enough for the Cullens to completely disappear like they had, I knew to take it seriously.

"No, really Jake." But it was better to stick with at least partial truths, given my record with lies. "But it sounds like maybe someone might have ticked off someone pretty powerful." 'Yeah, I ticked them off.' "And they were just worried about my safety, I guess. Apparently they've been keeping an eye on me."

"That sounds really creepy, Bella. Are you sure you should trust them?"

"I trust Alice," I stated firmly. "And Dr. Cullen," I added as an afterthought. He had to have some major willpower to manage being a vampire around all the blood he probably had to deal with on a daily basis. And pretty much a saint to put himself through it. "I guess I was honestly more creeped out by seeing Edward again."

Some of the stress on his face eased at that, and he sighed. "So… I'm pretty much actually tired of surfing. Anything else you want to do?"

I jumped at the change in conversation. "Well, there's a boardwalk a couple miles down the beach, but I don't think they open until a little later in the day. We could grab lunch and kill some time hitting souvenir shops? I at least need to get Dad something, and probably Harry and Sue too, for letting us use the jeep."

"Yeah, okay." Jake sat back in his seat.

We rode in silence for about half an hour as I navigated city traffic and looked for a place to eat that didn't look insanely crowded. But I also passed up a number of health food places I knew Jake would be miserable at. I finally chose a fondue place.

"-Fondue-?" He asked as he stared up at the sign.

"Sounds fun?" I laughed a little. "Besides, might as well try something new every once in a while, right?"

He looked back at me and smiled. "Yeah, okay. I think I read somewhere it's supposed to be romantic."

I grimaced theatrically and turned back to the jeep before I found myself grabbed from behind and lifted into the air. I shrieked and laughed at the same time. "Jake! Put me down!"

When my feet were back on the ground, I turned and smacked him on the arm. He just grinned. Fifteen and he was already almost six feet tall. "Geeze, you're a monster, Jake!"

"I'll try and take that as a compliment."

"Well, it was one." I let him take my hand as we walked inside the diner. We were led to a little square table, and I was glad to see the place really wasn't all that crowded.

But Jake had been right. The place was set up to be romantic. A dozen tables like ours were scattered over the hardwood floor, all separated randomly by tall plants, dressing screens, or curtains – but all able to be moved or lifted so the tables could be pushed together for larger gatherings. Light filtered in through small windows in the roof.

I just smirked at Jake before we placed out order, and then sat back in my chair. "Thanks… for earlier, Jake. I know it really ticked you off, but it was nice to see Alice again. I missed her."

"Hmm… I think I deserve some payback for that though."

I quirked an eyebrow. "Oh?"

He pointed at the table. "First date?"

I just laughed, but stopped when I realized that he wasn't. I smiled. He held out his hand, as if he had presented some sort of legal deal. I reached out and hooked my index finger around his. "First date."

He beamed at me as the waitress came back and settled a pot over the burner in the center of our table, then a small tray piled with cubes of bread and chunks of vegetables. Another waitress set down two tea cups and poured tea. "Tradition states that if a man drops food into the fondue, he buys the next round of drinks. But if a woman does, she must kiss the man seated to her left." Her eyes sparkled at us. "The next course will come out when you're ready for it." Then both of them left.

Jake laughed. "Well, I'm obviously not buying any rounds."

"Yeah. The tea comes with the meal."

"So… I could kiss you, too?"

I laughed. "It's supposed to be a –deterrent- Jake," I pointed out. "How about… favors? Small ones. And I can call them in whenever I like."

He eyed me. "How about just within then next year? I really don't need you holding favors over my head for the rest of my life."

"Fine. But you're not allowed to turn them down, either."

He chuckled. "Like I would ever refuse you anything, Bella."

I smirked, but held out my hand, index finger extended. He hooked his around it.

Over the next hour or so, we both dropped several pieces of food into the fondue, but I inevitably dropped more. So many that I finally had to let Jake say that he could call in the kisses later so we could finish eating. By the time we paid and left, I was sure the blush on my face was permanent. I owed him about a dozen kisses still, and he owed me about seven favors.

Then, we went to the boardwalk and did all the cheesy, cliché romantic things that we possibly could. I know the girl is generally the one moved by that sort of thing, but I got the feeling that Jake enjoyed himself a lot more than I did. But that in itself made it worthwhile to ride the Ferris wheel, play the carnival games until he won something that he could give to me, sit in the photo booth and tear the pictures in half. I made sure to take the half where we were making goofy faces instead of the ones where we were kissing as we found a bench to sit on.

He gave me an odd look.

"Hey, I'm going to have to convince my dad we didn't just make out after Leah left. I can't really hide that we're together."

"Oh? We're together?"

"Jacob Black, you are by far one of the most infuriating people I have ev-"

I was cut off by his mouth as it descended to meet mine. I couldn't help but respond, and my fingers were quickly tangled in his hair. It was hard not to respond to Jake like this. Every motion and word, every kiss was just so honest.

I started to lean into him, and blushed as he pulled away. "I just don't to take anything for granted with you, Bells."

I flushed and looked down. "Why does it always sound like you're reading from a romance novel and I'm still reading the user's manual on beginner's romance?"

He laughed. "I don't know… maybe it's just one of those things? Like how you're a klutz everywhere but the kitchen and your dad is fine everywhere else, but a klutz in the kitchen?"

I gave a short laugh. "But you're good at –everything- Jake. Romance, mechanics, nature… stuff."

"Well, I'm a mediocre cook at best. But, I suppose compared to Charlie, successfully operating the microwave makes me a chef."

I actually giggled at that.

"And I'm really only good at the patience and holding my temper thing with you. But, that's never really been an issue. Come to think of it, I'd probably fall flat on my face if I ever tried to be romantic with another girl. You just bring out the best in me, Bella."

I blushed, but gave up conversation in favor of kissing him again. For some reason, he just didn't seem too bothered with that.


	12. Chapter Eleven

August 2005

Forks, Washington – Bella

My dad had actually been surprisingly calm about my having stayed in California with Jake after Leah left. But after an e-mail from my mom, I somehow got the feeling that she had said something to cool him down.

And Alice had visited. Several times, in fact. It hadn't taken Charlie long before he adored Alice, and wouldn't bat an eyelash when she asked if I could go out, no matter the hour. He even took it rather calmly when she explained their leaving was a result of a hospital in Seattle having needed Carlisle's expertise. Only I knew the Cullens had moved back to Forks and just kept a low profile.

When we were out, Alice would always tell stories about her family, her kind. She didn't delve much into their pasts, but explained her family to me a little better. I slowly grew more and more accustomed to being comfortable around Jasper, Carlisle, estimate, and even Edward. Rosalie and Emmett had only been around first week that I would visit.

After a few weeks, I finally got her to tell me about the Volturi. Apparently a clan in Italy who viewed themselves almost as royalty-but more importantly as the keepers of the law that they themselves put into practice. It was his one that she thought that I may be in danger from.

"So… they're going to kill me for figuring out that you guys are vampires?"

"We would never allow that to happen, Bella," Esme said the soft smile in my direction. I felt somewhat reassured by her presence, somehow.

"So… What? The Volturi hardly seem to be the sort just to say 'oh, she's your friend? Never mind then!'"

Esme laughed as Carlisle chuckled. "No… They are not. I spent some time with them, a long time ago. While I generally found them to be just, they would not allow law to be broken without some form of punishment."

"But… There are other options, you know…"

"Alice!" Edward snarled.

She shot him a look as I gazed between them in confusion. "Options? Tell me." I tried to keep calm, and my voice was actually somewhat hopeful.

Alice slowly turned from Edward, and sniffed. "Well, one that I can think of, really. But Edward doesn't much like it."

I can almost hear Edward growl as he continued to glare at the back of Alice's head. Alice just continued to look completely unaware. "Well, is someone going to tell me, or did you just bring it up to frustrate me?"

"Forgive us, Bella. For having done this to you in the first place, and for all the trouble it caused you." Esme moved to sit next to me as she tossed a placating look toward Edward, who just started to pace. "But we did discuss this before we left. Alice was against it, of course, she's had so many visions of your future friendship. Edward, however, insisted that we leave for your safety."

My brow furrowed. Why was it that Edward's name and actions so at the center of the effort to protect me? We'd hardly ever spoken before, and none of it really kindly.

Alice rose from where she had been seated on the floor with her legs neatly folded, and danced over to sit on my other side on the pristine white couch. This seemed to only agitate Edward further. "Some of my visions, Bella, involve your future. The… Events surrounding you do shift and change quite often. But you're… Supposed to become one of us. I'm certain of that."

"We can protect you, Bella!" Edward finally gave in to the urge to interrupt, frustration and anger evident in his voice. But when I looked at him, his expression was pleading.

"I can't ask you guys to do that… The Volturi don't sound like they are ones to just let this slide by."

"But there's no way they even know yet. No way for them to ever find out. None of us would ever bring this to their attention, Bella. These choices are ones you don't ever have to make."

"He's right," Carlisle conceded kindly. "This is all pretty much just talk at the moment. Alice would see if the Volturi ever made the decision to investigate, or likely even if someone made the decision to tell them about you."

I gave a shaky sigh as I tried to process all the information. "So… Okay… I'm not sure. I mean, even if I were like you guys, being a vampire sounds… Frightening. It's a lot to think about."

"No one's going to make you make one decision more the other. We will gladly protect you. Vote for having put you in a position and because of who we are. Emmett would say he would be glad for the excitement of it all, even." Esme laughed.

"So… wait, Alice. You said something about my future disappearing?"

"Well… we have some theories about that, bit it's nothing for you to worry about. But… rethink confronting Sam Uley anyhow? We don't think you'd be in any danger, of course. But it may clear up this infuriating blank spot I have."

I had worked on building up my courage to Sam the past couple of weeks. But I drew a deep breath and released it as I nodded. "Okay. I don't think Leah would be too happy with me, anyhow."

Alice felt still and silent as she searched for my future, then she giggled as Edward scowled. "Ah… You decided to spend some time with Jake? He'll be pleased."

I blushed darkly. "Yeah. We decided to him and keep apart for a while after we got back from California, for the sake of my dad and. But with school starting in a couple weeks, senior year, and I'm keeping my job at Newton's."

Alice grinned at me before she glanced to the wall. "Well, we should get you home. Charlie probably thinks we're already on her way back from the city."

"I'll take her," Edward stated gruffly. "No need to risk more of your visions coming up."

Alice sniffed indignantly. "I can't help what I see, Edward. It's the decisions of **others** that shape the visions involving Bella. The only one I've acted on is becoming her friend."

"In any case… you've gone to get and drop her off each time. It might be good to play human and say that you're tired."

She gave a little wave of her hand before she and Esme gave me a hug, and I got up to leave with Edward I knew from several trips with Alice the speeds that they could safely drive at, but Edward seemed set on tacking it at a very human-like pace I just sighed and folded my arms as I gazed out the window of the car.

I was startled as his hand thumped the steering wheel. "Can you say something, please? I'm not used to all this silence."

I couldn't help the smirk that came to my lips. "I know it probably frustrates you that you can't read my thoughts. But I can't help that I prefer it this way… How would it be fair for you to know everything about me when you're the one person who tries to hide everything, especially the things that involve me?"

He sighed, but pointedly kept his eyes on the road. "Fine. We'll make a deal. I'll answer your questions, within reason, if you'll answer mine."

"And what's on the 'unreasonable' list?"

"Anything that would invade the privacy of my family."

"Oh. Well, I wouldn't ask that sort of stuff anyway. And it's insulting to presume that."

Edward sighed again. "I didn't mean to insult you, Bella. I've got nothing **but** presumptions to go on. But I do apologize."

"Well… okay. What do you want to know about me?"

"How **did** you find out about us?"

I brushed my hair back from my face ad noted his wince as I did. "Initially? That dream I told you about, honestly."

"The dream? Are you sure that wasn't the product of some move or book?"

I rolled my eyes. "I don't watch those kinds of movies that often, and I read stuff like Jane Austen novels and _Wuthering Heights_. Besides, how would that explain that I knew your name before we even met? Or that you replaced the shadow? And don't say I made that happen. Nothing in my head ever decided that I wanted to get to know whole family vampires."

He actually laughed a little at that, though it was a little dark and maniacal. "No. I'd be worried if I thought that were the truth… So, how did you get from dream to being certain?"

"I told Jake about it. He said the creature sounded like the 'cold ones' of the legends of his people."

He gave a terse nod. "Okay. Your turn to ask a question."

I'd been waiting for a chance to ask this. "Why are you so determined to protect me? We'd barely talked before you decided to completely uproot your family's life."

"We're used to moving a lot. It wasn't a big deal."

"That's not an answer." I refused to back off, and crossed my arms as I steadied a determined gaze on him.

He didn't seem to react in the slightest to my determination. "That's off limits."

"No, it's not! You said your family's secrets were off limits. This is just involving you and me!"

He tensed visibly and spoke through clenched teeth. "Bella. Ask me something else."

"No." I glared at him "And you have to answer me, I answered you."

"I don't have to do anything, Bella. Vampire, remember? Human rules don't apply."

"Fine! Just drop me off here. I can walk the rest of the way!"

"No. What would your father think if you showed up like that?"

"Like you care. Probably that I got into a fight with you. He already doesn't like you." I thought I heard a quiet 'I know' in response, but I was too angry to attempt asking more questions. I sank back into the seat and turned my gaze back out the window. "Speed up. I know you can go a **lot** faster than this. I don't want to have to spend more time with you than I have to."

I heard a sigh, but was relieved to see the scenery start to go by at an alarming speed. When he pulled into my driveway, I immediately reached for the handle to my door.

Then I felt his hand on my arm. I immediately jerked away. "Are… are you crying?" He sounded horrified.

"No, of course not! My whole world is turning upside down, my life is apparently in constant danger to the point a whole family of **vampires** as to protect and watch me all the time, and no one will give me any real answers! So, forgive me if I'm a little too **human** for you, Edward, but these sorts of things tend to upset normal people!" I reached for the handle again, but found the door already open and Edward standing outside it.

I huffed, but got out of the car. "Bella. Please believe me when I say that I don't hide things from you because it brings me any pleasure. I do it because it's best… it keeps you safe."

"I just love how everyone else gets to decide things about **my** life, and explain leaving me out of it by saying it's 'for your safety,'" I said acidly, then turned and stalked away. I didn't even glance back when I heard the car start and pull away.


	13. Chapter Twelve

August 2005

Forks, Washington – Edward

I couldn't remember a time when I had felt more torn. Ever since I realized my feelings for Bella, my world had been filled with pain. It felt wrong to hold back anything from her, to cause her pain, to refuse her anything. But to keep her safe, I could do nothing but.

I even knew that Rosalie was the only one who approved of my decision. Even Carlisle, as much as I relied on him, only agreed with me because he felt these were my decisions to make. But even with his stance against turning humans who had their whole lives ahead of them, I knew he wanted to see me happy more.

I slammed my hands against the steering wheel. It would be completely selfish for me to tell Bella my feelings just because I wanted to Because I couldn't stand to think of her in pain.

I could leave, this time on my own. I knew my family wouldn't stop protecting her. But I wasn't quite as sure that she may not end up changed in order to keep her safe. If I told them not to, they wouldn't, I know. But that was no assurance against all the unknowns. If something did happen to force their hand.

So, I couldn't leave. To prevent something like that, it would be better to have as many of us as possible around to protect her. I couldn't leave, but I also couldn't stay and watch her be in pain. Especially when I knew that I was at the center of it.

Then, on top of it all, it seemed werewolves were once again alive among the Quileute tribe. We'd only returned because we believed them to be gone. And because of the way Alice's visions cleared up once Sam Uley was taken out of the equation, it stood to reason that they would be a blind spot for her.

And of course, Bella would spend more time down at La Push not that Jacob Black had finally made his move. It was all that had gone through his mind that day we talked to Bella in California, how he kept himself calm enough to keep from interfering.

I was surprised by the sudden flare of jealous that I felt. This was irrational. I had no claim over Bella. And every reason to keep it that way. Jacob seemed to be able to do and say everything right, everything that she needed to hear. More importantly, they could be in a real relationship together. Humanity was a gift that I did not possess.

I scoffed at myself, tried to cool down as I arrived back at the house. The girl had enough bad luck between vampires, visions of lost humanity, and werewolves suddenly springing from extinction when she made friends with them. The last thing she needed added to that list was a jealous, lovesick vampire who could barely stand to be around her due to her scent, much less ever hope to be able to get closer to her.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

August 2005

Forks, Washington – Bella

I woke early the next morning after a fitful night of sleep, and swore to myself that I would never allow Edward Cullen to get under my skin that way again. I couldn't even figure out how he had done it in the first place. Just a month ago I had still shivered just at the sight of him. What had changed that made me want to bump heads with him like that? That would make me feel safe enough to anger a real-life vampire while we were trapped together in his car?

Instead of continuing to berate myself, I got out of bed and headed to the shower. I suddenly felt re-energized at the thought of spending more time with Jacob. I knew if anything could pull my mind away from all the things I'd learned last night and Edward's odd behavior toward me, it was Jake. So I got ready as quickly as possible and flew down the stairs and out the door to my truck. I was well on my way to La Push before I began to laugh at myself.

When had I become this person? Someone who woke at the beginning of the day, brightened by the simple thought of seeing my boyfriend? It still felt odd to think of him that way. Probably because we'd just barely gotten started testing the waters of this new stage of our relationship. But even if the pure thought of seeing him hadn't made me feel this way, I knew I might have still given things with him a chance, on the contingency that he felt he could still be my friend if things didn't work out. Because I just couldn't imagine my world without Jake in it. I didn't even want to try.

Jake was outside waiting for me when I pulled up, called by the unmistakable roar from the engine of my truck. I jumped out and jogged over to him, allowed myself to be pulled into his arms.

"So, what are we going to do today?"

"Well… **I** was planning on heading down to the beach. But you'll probably want to go see Leah." His face looked somewhat troubled, and I was immediately concerned.

"Why, what's wrong?"

"You'd be better off heading it from her. To be honest, I'm hoping Seth misheard what was going on."

My brow furrowed before I turned back to the truck, Jake close on my heels. We drove down to the Clearwater place, and when Sue let us in, she looked somewhat relieved. "Hello Bella, Jake… Leah's in her room. And do me a favor, if you can, get Leah to get something to eat?"

I tossed a worried look over my shoulder at Jake, but quickly walked down the hall to Leah's room and knocked.

"Go away!"

"Uhm, Leah? It's Bella and Jake. Can we come in?" there was a brief pause before the answer came to allow us in.

I went over to sit on the edge of her bed where she lay. Jake simply sat on the floor, for the lack of anywhere else to sit.

"Leah? What happened? You were in such a good mood when I dropped you at the train."

"My family came for a visit."

"O…kay?"

"Emily's coming back. She just left to get more of her things."

"Oh… do you not like Emily?"

"Oh, who doesn't like Emily? Apparently, she's perfect!"

I looked at Jake, completely confused. He just shrugged his shoulders at me. "Uhm… I don't understand, Leah. What's wrong with Emily?"

"Nothing's wrong with Emily!" Leah finally exploded s she sat up. "I've never minded Emily. In fact, we were almost like sisters when we were growing up. But **Sam**… Sam's in **love** with her! Couldn't keep his eyes off her from the moment he saw her at the store. It was like he didn't even notice the fact that I was there!"

My jaw actually dropped as I listened to Leah. I looked over at Jake again, but his head was bent forward so that his hair shielded his expression from view. "I… uhm… Wow, that's unbelievable, Leah."

"I know! I wouldn't believe it either, but they spent every day together over the past week and a half, and Emily's coming back. Her parents flipped at the idea of her moving in with him, so she's staying here." She punched a pillow before she released a long sigh. "Sorry. I thought getting that out might make me feel better, but… I just need to get out of here for a while."

"Your mom wanted you to get something to eat, Leah. She sounded worried."

"Yeah… I'll grab something on the way out, don't worry." Then she took off and grabbed her sneakers on her way out of the room.

I was quiet until I heard the back door slam shut, and then glanced at Jake. "Are you okay?"

He slowly shook his head. I released a long sigh, and then got up to urge him to his feet and back out to my truck. I didn't even think about where to go, and instead just started to drive. We were both silent for a long time before I grew worried. "… Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you tell me what's wrong? I mean, the stuff with Sam is pretty much crap, but… it seems like something more is bugging you."

"Those guys, Bella… all three of them. They used to hang out with everyone, you know that, but… the way that they've been acting. They're total jerks to all of the people who used to be their friends. And Paul… Ember, Quil, and I were out one day when they showed up. Quil smarted off, and Sam acted like he had to hold him back. It's so frustrating! And the council listens to them!"

My brow furrowed. "Nobody does anything about it?"

"What could we do, Bella? Even my dad doesn't seem to take it seriously. And they keep looking at me like they expect me to join them."

I shuddered. "You're not like that, Jake. I know that. You should too."

"**None** of them were like that, Bella. Well… maybe Paul." He actually smirked a little. "But Sam and Jared? They were nothing like how they are now."

I drove down to the beach and parked, then scooted over next to him. I grabbed both his hands, and waited patiently until he looked up at him. "Jacob Black, I have known you all your life long. And while I admit there are probably some things about you that I don't know… like the whole thing about you secretly being a romantic," I teased as he actually smiled a little. "I know more than enough to be certain that you would never hurt anyone that it was in your power to protect."

He leaned over, his forehead against mine so that our hair fell in a curtain around both of our faces, and he sighed. "That's the part that worries me, Bells… the stuff that's out of my control."

"You can't control everything, Jake. Besides, what sort of fun would be left if you could control everything?"

He chuckled lightly. "I really don't think you want to hear my answer to that."

"Jake!" I pulled back and punched his arm.

"What?" He grinned mischievously. "I meant making Sam and them pay for being jerks…With stuff like having them fall in gigantic mud puddles with their best clothes on… having dogs run up and take a leak on them and stuff."

I giggled.

"Well, maybe a few… other things." He dodged my fist as it flew at his arm again. "But probably not. That would definitely be not as fun if I controlled everything. You're kind of unpredictable, Bells. I like you that way."

"Ooo, nice save."

"Thanks, I thought so."

I turned to scoot back over to my side of the truck, but found myself stopped by an arm around my waist. I blushed, but allowed myself to curl up against his larger frame, my head on his shoulder.

"So… who have you told?"

"Told?" I blinked a few times, as I tried to process what that meant. "Oh! About us? Uhm… Alice knows. All the Cullens do, really." As if they could have misinterpreted that little giggle from Alice when she saw the two of us spending time together. "Pretty sure my dad's figured it out and might have told my mom. I'll probably tell Angela too… Who have you told?" I glanced up at him, almost a little afraid to hear the answer.

"Er… Uhm… yeah. I'm not sure my dad's even figured it out yet, so that brings me to a grand total of… none."

I burst out in laughter as he grinned sheepishly. "Wow, Jake… and here I was feeling guilty that I hadn't actually **told** anyone."

"Yeah, yeah… You probably expected all of La Push to know by now, huh?"

"Hm… Hadn't really thought about it, to be honest. I guess I don't calculate much beyond just being with you."

Jake smiled and leaned in to press his lips against mine. It was the first time we'd kissed since we had returned from California, but there was no real sense of urgency about it. It was just comfortable, it felt right. His hands settled on my waist and my arms moved up to his shoulders when we were suddenly broken apart by a knock on the window.

Embry was there with a smirk on his face as Quil snickered and pantomimed making out with someone. Jake quickly jumped out of the truck and chased Quil down to wrestle him to the ground.

I laughed as I got out of the truck more slowly. Embry glanced at me with an apologetic smile. "So… when'd that happen?"

"Couple of weeks ago."

"Ah. Okay."

"Sorry. Thought Jake would have told you."

"You mean you thought he would have shouted it from the rooftops by now?"

I laughed a little and blushed. "Uhm… maybe?"

He grinned. "No big deal anyway. With Quil around, I wouldn't blame anyone for keeping something like that a secret." He brushed his chin-length hair back from his face.

"Embry… did you get taller?"

He chuckled a little. "Yeah. Crazy growth spurt, huh? Can't really complain, though."

"Yeah, I guess." Then I laughed as Jacob finally got Quil down in a hold that he couldn't break. "Learning from the past isn't really one of his strong suits, is it?"

"Well, Quil used to be able to beat Jake any day of the week. But since, you know, puberty, Jake's been catching up to Quil pretty fast."

The two of them finally got up out of the sand and got dusted off before they walked back to where Embry and I stood.

"So, when's the wedding?" Quil quipped.

"The Saturday after you get a girlfriend," I said before Jake could attack again. Quil scowled as Jake laughed.

"Wow, Jake. Sounds like you guys will just be dating forever!"

"Oh, shut up, Embry. I don't see you with a girl either." That set Embry off after Quil.

I looked up at Jake. "Okay, I like your friends and all, but they're kind of driving me nuts."

"We could go hang out in my garage? It might bore you to tears to watch me work on my car, but we can take some lunch out there or something."

"No, you can work on your car! I don't mind. Maybe I'll even learn something."

"… You **really** want to get out of here, don't you?"

"Kinda. This whole relationship thing is new. I think public exposure should come slowly."

He laughed. "Alright, Ms. Swan, let's get you out of here before the paparazzi arrive."

We glanced back to where Embry and Quil wrestled, then quickly hurried back to the truck. There was nothing sneaky about my truck, but I was able to get it started and in gear before they got to their feet. Jake just waved as they threw their arms up in the air.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to take you away from your friends."

"Nah. I'll see them all the time once school starts. You'll have school, senior stuff, your job."

"Well… I'm only keeping that for a few hours on Saturdays, really. They don't need as much help while it's so cold. Said my days might drop off during the winter, which is good. I'll probably have to study for finals."

"Geeze. I'm not going to see you until after you graduate, at that rate!"

I giggled. "Nah. I'll still have Sundays free, and you know Charlie and Billy will keep getting together for football, and I'll probably cook. And then after you turn sixteen, you can always come to Forks and see me."

"Yeah," he brightened somewhat at that, but nothing like when we got to the garage and he started work on his Rabbit. He opened a door for me so that I could sit inside while we talked, but I ended up with my head under the hood in order to watch him, and next to him on the ground as he took something apart to examine and clean it.

I ended up ordering pizza and we sat out in the garage, just eating and talking as night fell outside. Eventually and inevitably, it began to rain, so we ran inside, surprised to find Billy at the door.

"Oh, hey! Was just going to call for you guys. Charlie just called, said he heard the storm's going to get pretty bad, Bella. He doesn't want you to try and drive home in it."

"Ah… okay. Not like I haven't camped out here before. Thanks, Billy."

"No problem. I'm going to head to bed. You kids behave." He raised an eyebrow pointedly at us before he turned and wheeled himself into his bedroom and shut the door behind him.

"Uhm… towel?" I asked as I gestured to my hair. I needed a chance to catch my breath, and took a deep one as he jogged off. It was insane to think that we would do anything more than kiss, but it was impossible to think it would be as simple as it had once been when we were just friends.

When Jake re-emerged, he carried a towel and some clothes. "I found an old pair of my pajamas… they might still be a little big on you, but they should pretty much fit."

"Oh… thanks, Jake." I took the clothes and towel from him. "Actually, would you mind if I take a shower?"

"Nah. I think my sisters left some stuff, actually. Under the sink."

I nodded and disappeared into the bathroom. I fished under the sink and found some lavender soaps and shampoos, and was grateful that it wasn't something really fruity or girly. I tried to clean up as fast as I could, since Jake would probably want to shower after me, but I couldn't help but linger somewhat.

By the time I got out and dressed in the pajamas – they were a little loose on me, but the flannel was really soft and comfortable – Jake had dozed off on the couch. With a smile, I walked over to nudge him awake. "Hey… shower's free, if you want."

"Oh… thanks."

I retreated to his bedroom and curled up on the bed. After a while, I kicked the covers away, but found myself asleep before I even heard the shower stop. I jerked awake a few minutes later as I heard a creak, and took a moment to remember where I was. It had darkened considerably outside, so it was impossible to see. "Jake?" Even with the rain pounding so loudly outside, I somehow felt the need to whisper.

"Yeah, sorry," he responded, his voice as soft as mine. "I was just going to say good night, I didn't mean to wake you."

"No, it's alright… We can stay up and talk for a while, if you want. The rain just kind of put me to sleep."

He crossed the room and stretched out. But he was so far away that I had to laugh. "I think we can trust each other to behave a little better than that, Jake."

He laughed a little, but scooted close enough that his leg brushed against mine. "Sorry. Just didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

"You don't, Jake… and I think that's what I like best when I think about being with you." I knew that I would blush a lot as I said this, but it had been on my mind all day. At least the darkness hid my face, and that made it a lot easier. "I was worried at the idea of it before, because I rely on your friendship so much. But somehow, how comfortable I was with you as a friend just transitioned into what we have now. I'm not even sure what I'd call it, boyfriend and girlfriend doesn't even really seem to fit. Does that make sense? That we're still… friends at the center of it, but all the extra added relationship stuff just feels… right. Like it's the natural path for us to be taking. It's as easy as breathing…" I flushed hotly. "And I just freaked you out. You're a fifteen year old guy, you probably don't want to hear stuff like that."

I felt more than I saw him shake his head, then his fingertips trailed over my still warm cheek. "You're blushing," he stated quietly as he shifted closer.

"Uhm, yeah… sorry."

He laughed. "Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I kiss you?"

It seemed odd for him to ask, when you considered all the times we'd kissed before, but I knew what he meant, and it made me all that much more sure of my decision to be with him. I nodded.

As he began, it was one of those warm, innocent kisses that reminded me of our first. And I melted into it, my hand on his shoulder as my leg shifted so that it lay slightly over his. But our lips slowly parted and his fingers slipped back from my face to grasp my hair. I shifted again to be closer to him.

He drew in a sharp breath, but his hand tangled more deeply into my hair as the one trapped beneath us moved under my hip to pull and keep me close. I quickly and easily lost myself in it.

When we finally did pull apart, our foreheads rested against one another's as we let ourselves catch our breaths.

"I didn't make you uncomfortable, did I?"

"A little," I said, and smiled as I felt him tense and his lips part in order to apologize. But my mouth quickly silenced him. "But in a good way."

He gave a relieved sigh and dropped his hand from my hair to find mine and hook his index finger around mine. "So, what have you been doing the past couple of weeks?"

"Alice has either been coming over or taking me to their house." This subject made me feel awkward, but I could at least avoid anything that was an actual lie by simply not bringing up anything supernatural. "They still own the old place, so we hang out there a lot."

"Wow. Must be nice to have that kind of money."

I grinned a little. "Yeah. Not necessary, but I suppose it can be useful now and again. But I would think it could cause trouble now and again, too."

"True," he agreed with a little laugh. "Guess I'll stick with the trouble I know how to deal with."

I kissed his cheek and leaned my head in against his chest. It felt weird to hide anything from him, even if I felt that it was to protect him. I squirmed and sighed somewhat.

"Something wrong?"

"No… well… Edward still creeps me out. It's not as bad as it was. But any time we talk, I always end up arguing with him, he's so infuriating."

He laughed a little. "You know, for a girl who seems like such a tomboy, you seem to not get along with many boys very well, Bells."

"**Normal** guys I get along with! You, Quil, Embry… even Sam, before he turned into a jerk. I get along with Ben."

"Quil and Embry are normal?" He chuckled. "I'm sure they'll love to hear it… But… ever think that Cullen likes you?"

"Edward? Ew, no! We've never said one nice word to each other!"

"Some guys like that, apparently."

I shuddered. "What would make you ask that?"

"Seems to be the trend with guys you don't get along with."

"But I get along with you and Quil."

"Quil never really tried to pursue you, and I was your friend a long time before I even knew boys and girls were different."

I tried to consider the thought. Even if Edward did like me, what would I do about it? He was a vampire. Immortal, on top of everything else. I couldn't do that to someone. Couldn't let myself be so important to someone who would have to live through literal eternity without the one they loved. I shuddered again at that thought and curled in closer against Jake. Did Alice really still have those visions about me being a vampire? I struggled against myself to keep control of my emotions as thoughts and visions raced through my mind. I gasped a little as I tried to envision even a day in a world were Jacob, my Jacob didn't exist. I couldn't do it. I knew that if anyone even asked me to consider it, I would start seeking ways to die.

"Bella?" Jake shook me a little as panic rose in his voice. "What's the matter? What happened?"

I suddenly clung to him in a fierce, possessive manner and pressed my lips into his. I wanted to be connected to him in any way possible, to reassure myself that he was there.

Jake cradled my face between his hands and allowed the kiss to continue for just a few moments before he pulled my away. "Bella, what's wrong?"

I just shook my head. "I can't… don't know…" I really had no idea how to explain my irrational train of thoughts, much less the ideas that led to it. I couldn't even bring myself to risk telling him about vampires to begin with; much less tell him that one of them had these mysterious visions of me **being** one. So I took several calming breaths before I tried to respond again, but I didn't get too far before the panic began to rise again. "Promise… Jake, promise you won't ever… ever leave me?"

"Bella… what…?"

"Just promise… I mean… even if it isn't like this, even if this goes wrong. Stay in my life. I can't… I can't explain it, just… promise?" I finally looked up at him as I awaited his answer.

"I promise, Bella… But two things… I **do** hope it is like this," he pointed out with a small smile. Then he sighed as the smile disappeared from his face. "But I wish you could tell me what's going on."

I have a small nod of my head as I curled up against him again and yawned, suddenly very tired. "I don't really know, my Jacob."

I faintly heard him chuckle and then his voice as he spoke, but I couldn't pick out the words over the sound of the drumming rain as it pounded against the roof and ground outside, and then heard nothing at all.

That night when I dreamt, I felt intensely warm. Almost as if I was back in Phoenix. In the middle of summer with the furnace on, bundled up under a quilt. I felt myself toss, turn, and kick in an effort to rid myself of the quilt.

But I stilled as I saw a familiar forest, recognized that it felt like home to me, and I could see my family around. I knew that I was down at La Push, and it felt right to be there. To call it home, and all the faces beyond my Mom and dad family.

I felt a brief moment of panic when I realized that Jake wasn't among the faces that I saw. But it eased for some reason when I saw this huge brown wolf at the edge of the forest.

When I tossed fitfully as I tried to figure this out, I heard a grunt. "Ow! Bells?"

My eyes fluttered open as I realized that I was no longer in a dream. "Jake?" I turned over to face him sleepily, and then woke up a little more when I noticed him rubbing his nose. "Are you okay?"

"If you're going to try to beat me in your sleep, Bells, maybe we should figure out any unresolved issues now?"

I blushed at the underlying implication, but cleared my throat. "What do you mean?"

"You dozed off after you called me your Jacob… then not long after, you were tossing around and kicked me, said something about it being too hot… And just now you mumbled 'my Jacob' and whapped me in the face."

I blushed more darkly. "I can't remember… Maybe I will later… How did you know what I said? It's got to be **really** late, Jake."

"About four in the morning. I couldn't sleep.

I rose up and looked down at him curiously. "Is something wrong?"

"Uhm… no."

"Well… then, why can't you sleep? Not sleeping usually means that something's wrong. And I know it's not because you slept in yesterday, I showed up too early for that."

"Uhm… I was watching you?"

"Why? Did I do something really stupid or embarrassing?"

"No… not that I saw. I mean, other than trying to beat me and calling me 'my Jacob'… but that was the only two things all night."

I blushed as I dropped back down onto his bed. "You're so weird, Jacob Black."

"I know," he said cheerfully. Probably relieved that I hadn't yelled at him. "But weirdness seems to gravitate toward you, Bella. I couldn't even be your friend if I wasn't at least a little weird."

I laughed a little, but couldn't help but agree with him as I lay back down against him, my head on his chest. "Go to sleep, Jake."

"I don't know… what if you kill me while I'm asleep?" I whapped him. "See?" He exclaimed.

"Okay, okay… no more violence, I promise."

"Hm… okay... I'll believe you."

I closed my eyes and smiled as I heard him yawn and his arm went around me comfortably, protectively. We were both soon fast asleep to the sound of rain.


	15. Chapter Fourteen

September 2005

Forks, Washington – Bella

After the small panic attack I'd had over just the thought of losing Jake, I decided to drop the job at Newton's during the school year. My dad actually encouraged it, saying senior year I would need plenty of time to study. But I fully planned on spending as much time as possible down at La Push while I could, even if I knew from previous experience that when the time for finals did arrive, I would appreciate the extra time.

So once school began, I almost immediately submitted my schedule for change, and shifted all the usual homework-heavy types of classes to before my lunch period. Every day at lunch, I would pick at my food as I worked on any homework with Angela often at my side, Ben a little less. Anything that I didn't finish, I took into the study hall I had just after lunch. My study hall was small, and it was only offered at this one time for the seniors who had managed to get in extra class credits in years before and didn't have or want something like band, choir, drama, or art class to fill the slot. So by the time I got home at the end of the day, I had nothing to do but fix dinner and escape down to La Push for a couple hours on nights when Billy and Jake weren't actually in Forks with us because of some football game or another, or just to have dinner. Jake and I would either escape to the outdoors on the occasional clear night, or sit down at the kitchen table so I could help him through his homework.

Keeping myself busy like that, I hardly noticed at all that it was my eighteenth birthday until I had my school books stolen from me at lunch and presents sat before me. Angela and Jess laughed at my bewildered expression.

"I think she spends too much time thinking of Jake," Jess suggested with a teasing smirk before she nudged the box wrapped in bright pink paper toward me. I got the feeling that Jess tried mainly to coordinate those inept at choosing items suited to me on their own into gifts that went with hers. At the end of that all, I had a small pile of personal beauty items from a manicure kit to make-up. I made myself smile as I thanked them. Most of them meant well, though I knew Lauren thought it the height of hilarity that I wasn't the slightest bit interested in this stuff enough to invest my own money into it. Ben got me some movie passes, and Angela I got a gift card to a book store. I thanked them, grateful that I could at least use these and actually show my appreciation.

I was glad to see lunch, then school end. When I exited, however, I was surprised to see Alice and Jasper outside next to Alice's car.

"Alice? What are you doing here?"

"It's your eighteenth birthday, Bella! You didn't honestly thing your best friend wouldn't do anything, did you?"

"Uhm… Alice… what **did** you do?" I was suddenly very wary, but soon found that washed over by calm. I shot a look at Jasper, who simply shrugged.

"It's just a little party, silly. Nothing at all. Just our family and you. Pleeease Bella? I already cleared it with Charlie and everything. He doesn't expect you home until late."

"Oh, uhm… guess it would be pointless to protest and point out that it's a school night?"

"Thank you, Bella!" Alice ushered me into the back seat, for which I was actually grateful. Back there I could close my eyes and almost forget the blinding speeds at which she would drive.

As I got out of the car, she held out her arms. "May I?"

"Huh…? Oh… I guess?" For being so endearing, Alice had an uncanny ability for making me feel wary. She scooped me up as if I were no more burden than a pillow, and then the next thing I knew; she sat me back on my feet in her room. "Wow… what was that for?"

"Downstairs is all decorated already. Besides, I've got to work on you, silly!"

"Oh, Alice, come on!"

"Pleeease? She pouted at me.

I sighed. "Fine…"

She giggled and began to work through my hair. "Besides, it's your eighteenth birthday, Bella. You should dress up a little."

"Sure… hey, can I use your phone? Jake is probably expecting me to come down." She danced away wordlessly, then returned and put the cell phone in my hand. I dialed the familiar number and waited for him to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Jake?"

"Hey! When are you coming down?"

"Er… well, to be honest, Alice sort of kidnapped me for a birthday party with the Cullens." I heard Alice scoff as I said 'kidnapped', but it did nothing to dampen her mood as she twisted my hair up into some semi-elegant hairdo. "I probably won't be home 'til late."

"Oh… okay…"

"I promise it's not as fun as you think. She's torturing me. Dressing me up and doing my hair like I'm some life-size doll." This time, Alice's bell-like laughter followed my comment, and I heard Jake chuckle.

"I want pictures!" He demanded.

"No, no, and no! There will be no evidence!"

Then the phone was out of my hand and next to Alice's ear. "No worries, Jake. There will be lots of pictures. But I need my doll back."

I heard laughter through the phone before they said goodbye and hung up. I scowled up at Alice. "What did I ever do to you to deserve this sort of torture?"

She just tsked at me as she started to apply make-up to my face. "You're really a beautiful girl, Bella. I honestly don't think you see that about yourself. So, it is my duty as your best friend to help you see things a little more clearly!"

I rolled my eyes at her explanation, but obediently close them when she told me to. While she didn't move as fast as I expected she could, she did at least keep it as quick and painless as possible, and it wasn't too long before she left me alone with a dress and a pair of high heels. I sighed and quickly undressed and got into the new outfit. If there was no way to avoid this, hopefully I could at least make it go as quickly as possible.

I shot a look at Alice as I walked carefully out of the room in the heels. "Alice, I swear, if I fall over in these things…"

She giggled. "No worries, Bella. I'll stay by your side all night."

"You'd better," I mumbled as I put my hand on the banister and made my way down the stairs carefully. I felt more than I saw Alice fly down past me, and then saw the flash from a camera as I got to the last step.

I spent most the party pointedly ignoring Edward. Even a single glance toward him brought back memories of the night he drove me home, and I could feel myself flush in anger all over again. So I put on a smile and thanked everyone for the gifts, even scolded Emmett for making fun of my truck. It was somehow easy to be around most the Cullens. Despite their cool skin, it was easy to see the warmth they shared as a family. And it was the concerned, fatherly looks that Carlisle kept tossing at Edward that made me keep my feet planted when Edward approached me, instead of moving the other direction.

"Bella? Could I talk to you?"

I raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, away from where my family can hear every word. They're not snoops, but it's almost impossible to ignore a conversation so close by."

I hesitated, but then gave a nod of my head. He led the way to the back door and opened it for me. It was a relatively clear night, but I paused at the last step. Edward looked back in confusion – I was sort of glad for the reassurance that he really couldn't read my thoughts. But the prospect of me in high heels on moist ground made me almost shudder, so I hooked a finger under the straps and pulled them off to toss them back up on the porch. Edward actually laughed, and I looked up in surprise at the sound.

"Sorry, Alice's fashion sense never really includes practicality… what?"

I realized I had continued to star up at him. I blushed. "Uhm… I've never heard you laugh before. It's kind of… nice."

He just stared at me for a few moments before he began to lead me away from the house again. I trailed along behind him quietly, and was startled when he finally stopped. "Bella… I just wanted to apologize for my behavior the night I drove you home. It was… ungentlemanly, to say the least."

I stared up at him. "That's what you brought me out here to say? Seriously?" I was suddenly furious. "Why do you keep doing this? You keep claiming that you want to protect me, and then you play mind games with me."

"I'm not playing games, Bella. Believe me, the last thing I want to do is bring you harm."

"Believe you? Edward, the only reason I'm out here right now is Carlisle. He kept looking at you in this… fatherly way. It made me think it might actually be worth giving you a chance, sine I like the rest of your family. But I can't even bring myself to trust anything you say! You always dodge any serious questions or turn it around on me, like you're trying to convince me that I'm cra-" I froze as both his hands came up to frame my face.

He stared down at me as I stood completely still. It looked like he was at war with himself before he clenched his eyes shut and sighed. "I was in your room that night. You're not crazy, Bella. I was there, but… I left as soon as I realized that you were awake."

I was stunned into silence for only a moment. He was finally letting out the truth. I wanted to find out as much as I could. "Why were you in my room?"

He drew in a deep breath, as if he needed to prepare himself to answer. "I'm not proud of myself for it. But I was testing myself. When a vampire smells a human's blood, especially when they're thirsty, it makes their throat burn. But you, Bella… It happens to all vampires that live long enough. There's always one human that smells better than most. That burns more than any other. All my family can smell how sweet your blood is, but… it's worse for me. So, I was testing myself while you were most still. It helped me keep my head clear."

"Oh… great… So, I'm like vampire candy or something?"

An expression torn between a grimace and a smirk crossed his face. "Something like that."

"So… why torture yourself over me? Even with all your family saying they'll protect me, you're always the one who seems to be upset the most. Especially at the thought of me being like you. Why?"

His eyes clenched shut again. "I'll answer that on one condition."

I tensed and my eyes narrowed. I was in no mood for the mind games to start up again, not when I was so close to having the answers. "What's the condition?"

His eyes opened and he looked back down to me. "Promise me. Promise me that you'll do everything that you can stay human."

My eyes widened. It was an odd request, to say the least, but not quite out of character for him. But I'd also already made this decision. An eternity of life would mean nothing if I had to live it without the people I loved. Without Jake. "Deal."

He stared at me for a moment longer before he turned away. He was quiet so long that I thought he might have changed his mind, but he finally spoke. "That night I was in your room… I was just standing there, watching you sleep. Then this…pained expression crossed your face. Like you were afraid, you knew what was coming. I don't know why, but I touched your cheek. You woke up and looked right up at me. It was like you could read everything about me in that moment. And… you said my name. I fled then, because I had to try and fight something far more powerful than your scent, Bella… Because in that moment, I found that I was in love with you."

It was painful, the way my heart reacted to that statement. I gasped for air and stumbled backward away from him, but didn't pull away as he reached out to keep me from falling. A moment later, everything was black.

When I awoke, I groaned at the bright light above, and quickly shut my eyes. "What happened?"

"Well, from the sound of things, you had a panic attack."

Carlisle's soothing voice came from beside me, so I slowly opened my eyes again. "Panic attack?" Then I flushed as I recalled the moments before I blacked out. "Oh…"

Carlisle smiled sympathetically down at me. "Can you sit up?" At my nod, he carefully helped me up. "I do hope my son's confession won't keep you away, Bella. I would understand if it did, of course. But we've all come to think of you as part of the family. It's what makes it so east to say we won't hesitate to protect you from whatever harm may come your way."

I fidgeted a bit. "It's because of how he feels, isn't it?"

He smiled. "A large part of it is, yes. But given Alice's attachment to you and our own responsibility for the situation you're in, it was really not something we even had to think twice about."

I smiled up at him. "Thanks, Carlisle. That actually helps a lot."

"My pleasure, Bella."

He helped me to my feet, and I only found myself startled a moment later that I hadn't even noticed the coldness of his skin this time. When had I stopped noticing how cold they all were?

Alice came up to me as soon as I walked out of Carlisle's little home examination room. "Want me to take you home, Bella? It's kind of late. Charlie already called; we told him you'd dozed off on the couch."

"Oh, uhm… thanks. But… can Edward drive me home?" Even from across the room, I could see the surprise on his face. But it couldn't compare to the surprise I felt at myself. But I kept myself calm as possible, and tried to ignore the knowing smile on Alice's face as she let pass by as I followed Edward out to the garage.

We rode in silence most the way back to my house. I knew it affected him to not know what was on my mind, I heard the slight crack as his grip threatened to snap the steering wheel. Finally, I drew in a deep breath, and turned in my seat to look at him. "Can I ask you a favor?"

He tensed. "What is it?"

"Pull over first?"

There was worry in his face as he looked at me, but he obliged as soon as he found a spot to park the car. As soon as he did, I opened my door and got out, knowing that as soon as I looked up, he'd be at my side.

"What's wrong, Bella?" Concern was etched into his features as he looked down at me.

My breath caught in my throat as I turned to face him. "Just an experiment… Would… would you kiss me, Edward?" Shock registered on his face, and he took a step backwards from me. "Please? I need to know… Need to figure out this connection that seems to exist between us."

He hesitated a moment longer before he stepped back to me. His hands went to the sides of my face as they had earlier. "Are you sure?"

"No," I said with a nervous little laugh. "But that's why I need this. To help me figure things out."

He hesitated as he stared down at me, as if trying to assess my level of certainty… or sanity. But he seemed to make up his mind, because his head descended to allow his lips to meet with mine.

The kiss was somehow tender, despite the marble hardness of his skin, and undeniably cool. It was the opposite of almost everything that a kiss with Jake was like. I could feel Edward tremble somewhat as his lips shifted to deepen the kiss to the slightest degree. Different as it was, it still sent a shock through my body. His breath was sweet, somehow.

Then he pulled away. By inches, as if he was unable to pull fully away yet. Logically, I knew that the kiss had lasted moments only, but as I slowly became aware of the world around me again, I felt as if I should have been able to see evidence that hours had passed instead of just seconds.

A blush colored my cheeks as he gazed down at me, awaiting some sort of response. I didn't know what to say, so I managed to stutter out a quiet "Thank you."

He stared at me a moment before he laughed and dropped his hands away from my face. "You are a never-ending enigma, Bella Swan. But I guess I have plenty of time to try and figure you out." He reached out and opened the passenger side door for me to get in.

The rest of the way home, I tried to clear up my muddled thoughts. I wasn't sure if anything had been cleared up at all tonight. But at least I had more pieces of the puzzle.


	16. Chapter Fifteen

September 2005

Forks, Washington – Bella

Returning to La Push actually got put off until the next weekend, and I really didn't have to lie about the cause. Charlie **had** been upset I'd gotten home so late, but a call the next morning from both Alice and Carlisle soon made it as if it had never happened.

Then there was the surprise of the Cullens' return to school. I'd known they'd been back a lot longer than all of Forks did, but they'd never indicated to me that they had even considered it. Alice explained that they felt a bit better being closer to me during the day. I'd rolled my eyes, but I was glad to have her with me during the day. I'd rolled my eyes, but I was glad to have her with me during the day. Glad to find out that with the way I'd arranged my class schedule, I ended up with only one class with Edward.

I needed that little extra space to be able to think. I still wasn't exactly sure what that kiss had meant. When I thought about Jake, none of my feelings had changed. If possible, they might have even gotten stronger.

Once I assured myself of that, I moved onto the next set of confusions. Why did it matter to me at all how Edward felt about me? He was a vampire, and over a century old. He'd probably loved before, and more than likely would again once I was out of his life. Ew. Why did that thought make me jealous?

Alice reached over to snag my hand, and I immediately snapped back to the reality of my last period of the day. The teacher was seated behind his desk. Apparently, I'd spaced out at the end of his lesson and missed when he stated the class could spend the last few minutes speaking quietly. Alice shot me a sympathetic smile and scooted me her notes so I could copy down the last few points.

"It sounded like you were about to have a nervous breakdown, Bella. What were you thinking about?"

I flushed and wished her handwriting were harder to read so I could take longer on it, but her small, neat script was impossible to mistake for unreadable.

"Uhm… Jake… and Edward."

Realization lit her face and she beamed at me. "Quite a conundrum, isn't it?"

"It shouldn't be." I sighed and busied myself with putting away my things. "I mean, I've already decided to try my best to avoid the whole future as a vampire thing, so even if I wasn't already with Jake, I couldn't picture myself allowing my emotions to lead me into falling in love with someone who would literally have to spend eternity without me. So it would be better in the end to just ignore it and allow him to move on, right?"

Alice peered at me before she gave a small huff. "My brother seems to think it best that you be left in the dark about some things, Bella. I disagree." The bell rang and around us students surged to their feet to get out the door. Alice jumped to her feet. "I brought my own car today, Bella. Told everyone I was going on a shopping trip and spent most the day thinking about what to buy so Edward would quit paying attention. Come with me? Please?"

I stared up at her for only a moment before I grabbed my things and followed her as quickly as possible. The thought of someone actually volunteering the truth amongst all this mess was impossible to pass up.

So I didn't complain as she peeled out of the parking lot in order to get ahead of the line of cars that would soon form. I even waited patiently as she headed away from town, drove for a half hour at high speeds before she pulled into a quiet park and gestured for me to join her on a bench.

"Okay… As you can imagine, Bella, vampires can be very set in their ways. We don't change much at all over time. So when something like love enters a vampire's life, such a strong emotion alters us permanently. There is no 'moving on'… Even the cruelest of us could not move on so easily, if at all."

I sucked in a few quick, deep breaths before Alice put a hand over mine in order to help keep me calm. "Are you okay, Bella? Because there's more." My eyes widened, but I nodded at her. She assessed me briefly before she spoke again. "When Edward realized how he felt about you, it was before you had gotten together with Jake… And the moment he realized it, I began to see glimpses of his future… your future, together." She paused to assess my reaction, and I forced a calm expression so that she would continue.

"It all changed, of course, when you made the decision to be with Jake. The vision of me helping you to dress on your wedding day disappeared… As did the very short-lived one where Edward changed you. You wanted him to… I think you might have loved him, had he not been a fool and let the chance slip by."

I flushed, but clung with some hope to part of her statement. "But does that mean you don't see me as one of you anymore?"

She sighed dramatically. "For your sake, Bella, I wish I could say that I don't. But someone's decision still has that outcome. I just can't see who that is." Her brow furrowed in frustration. She waved her hand a moment later. "But whatever the situation is that changes you, you are happy in my vision. Decidedly so."

I tried to find some way to take solace in that, but it was all I could do to keep myself from hyperventilating and passing out. Alice just wrapped an arm around me and waited patiently for me to be able to calm down.

"This is all just… I don't know. I can't… imagine a world without Jake in it, Alice." I looked over at her. "Even if I was happy, it couldn't last… that whole eternity thing doesn't make sense when I have to try and think about even the possibility that I'd have to watch everyone I know and love die…"

"Not everyone," Alice pointed out with a small smile. "But I think I can understand you somewhat… Though most my family was created through circumstances where they felt they had nothing to leave behind, I think I can understand what it would feel like… I've often wondered what it might be like if I'd never had Jasper in my life, or if I lost him because his past and the things he's done caught up with him… And it's like the world would stop turning the moment I lost him. I can't see straight when I even consider it. So I know it must hurt to see something like that as a real possibility."

I stared over at her for a few minutes. It was odd to hear Alice, usually so bubbly and cheerful talk about something so serious. I drew in a deep breath.

"You really do love Jake, don't you?"

I flushed as she gazed at me. "I… He's always been my best friend. It always feels right being around him. And I can't picture **not** being with him."

She laughed a little. "I forget sometimes how uncertain humans can be of their emotions, since I don't even remember anything before this life." She leaned back to look up at the sky above. "For what it's worth, Bella… Edward **would** have made you really happy, had he acted on his feelings when he should have. And I would have loved having you as my sister."

I smiled over at her. "I think part of me realizes that, to tell the truth. I don't know what it is. I think it's like how I knew about you guys before I even met you… Well... I guess it was more that I knew Edward, I guess…" I paused. "I asked him to kiss me last night."

A wry smile curled her lips. "Ah. So that explains why he's been so bearable since he got back. And?"

"I don't know… I feel like somehow I might have more puzzle pieces, but I'm not sure that I know how to fit everything together. I mean, isn't it odd that a simple decision de-railed someone who could have been the person I was meant to be with?"

"I can't pretend that I always understand everything, Bella. I see futures based on the decisions people make. But I can't come close to comprehending the reasons those particular decisions are made, **why **that outcome occurs from that decision. Edward's admission of love could have brought about any number of results. You could have been horrified and ran away, it could have sent you to Jake even sooner, or you could have fallen in love with him. I don't know why one result happens over another."

"So… it's like I actually already do love Edward… but I love Jake more? Or…" I sighed and dropped my head into my hands. "It doesn't make sense. How can I love two different people this way? It's driving me crazy not having the answers, but at the same time, I'm scared to know."

Alice hugged me and gave a soft smile. "I know it's not fair to put you through all this. If I hadn't been so certain of our friendship, of the fact that you'll need us someday, I wouldn't have hesitated to do everything possible to see that it was like we never existed in your world. I can't see everything, Bella. But I do feel that someday… We'll all be able to look back at this without regret."


	17. Chapter Sixteen

September 2005

La Push, Washington – Bella

The past few days had been nothing short of an emotional roller coaster, but as I pulled up to Jake's that Saturday, it was if it melted away. But when Jake didn't come out to meet me as he usually did, I got out of my truck quickly, but paused before I knocked. I realized I'd never really had to before. Billy answered and gestured toward where Jake stood. He argued into the phone for a bit longer before he growled in frustration and slammed it back down into its cradle.

"Calm down, Jacob. In time, I believe all things will come to make sense."

Jake shot a frustrated look at Billy. "No. There's no way to make sense of a bunch of guys all of a sudden becoming jerks and avoiding all the people that care about them." Then he looked at me. "Can we get out of here?"

Somewhat dazed, I gave a nod of my head and trailed after him out the front door. I started to head for my truck, but he went for the woods, so I jogged over to walk beside him. I was silent for a long while as he muttered under his breath to himself.

After we had walked a while, he slowly began to calm down. "I haven't seen Embry at all since we were all down at the beach in August. I called his house a few times, but his mom just said that he wasn't feeling well. Then last night I ran down to the store. He was hanging out with Sam's little gang."

My brow furrowed. "This is getting beyond weird, Jake. Is anyone doing anything?

"No! You heard my dad. None of the adults take it seriously when any of us say anything about the way they're acting. Sam's girlfriend even got attacked by some bear or something a few days ago. I'm not sure they even hunted it." He sighed and stopped to kick at a fallen tree. "Embry hated those guys more than anyone else, Bells… It just…" He turned so he wouldn't be facing me. "It's sort of scary, you know? They all look at me as if they're just waiting… for me to lose my mind or something, I don't know."

I paused a moment before I walked around to face him, took his hand into mine. "I know you, Jacob Black… nobody is ever going to make you do something that you don't want to do. Just give Embry some time, but let him know you want to know whats happened. You guys have been friends forever, it'll take more than a jerk like Sam Uley to end that."

Jake actually managed a small smile back at me before he squeezed my hand. Then we continued our walk at a much more leisurely pace.

"So, Emily is okay?"

"Oh, yeah. I mean… she's going to be pretty scarred up, from what I heard. But otherwise okay."

"Oh… that's still horrible…"

"Yeah. Leah was really upset about it too, and Sam looked half-crazed for a couple days after it happened. Uhm… so how are things in Forks?"

I might have usually laughed at the obvious change of subjects, but I felt almost as uncomfortable as he must have, so I let it slide. "The Cullens came back to Forks High…"

His brow furrowed. "Oh."

"Something wrong? The Cullens are my friends, you know. Well… most of them."

"Well, other than Edward giving you the creeps and getting treated like an errand boy, I've got no problem with them. But my dad really doesn't like them… Says I should tell you to be careful of the friends you choose."

Could Billy actually know? I tried to consider that a moment, then quickly dismissed the thought. "I'll uhm… keep that in mind," I said with a small laugh. "Oh!" I suddenly stopped in my tracks. "Dad said they've had a couple of hikers call in with sightings of these huge bears… He said the squad thought someone was trying to prank them. I wonder if that was the bear that attacked Emily!"

"Maybe. You should be sure to mention it to him, before someone else gets hurt… I'll have my dad alert the council so they can keep an eye out too."

"I will," I assured him before I looked up toward the sky. "We should probably head back."

We both turned and started back, quickened our steps at the sound of thunder as it rumbled in the distance. By the time we broke through the last line of trees, we were almost in an all-out race. I lost by almost half the yard, due to Jake's long legs and the undeniable fact that he was much more of an athlete than I was. But at least we both made it to the safety of the port before the rain started to come down.

"Hey… your dad called. Said to ride out the storm here, Bella…"

I rolled my eyes but laughed. "Sometimes I don't know if he's actually that worried about my driving skills, or if he just likes the idea of me spending time with you, Jake."

Jake shrugged at me and grinned. "I don't mind either way."

"Of course you don't," I teased before I looked up at the clock on the wall. "I could fix you guys lunch, if you want?"

"Awesome! Hey, uhm… take your time though. Got some work I want to get finished on the Rabbit today."

That sounded odd somehow, but I just shrugged. "Okay." He ran back out the front door into the rain, and I spent the better part of an hour just making grilled cheeses and soup. Finally, when I couldn't keep things warm without burning them, I pulled everything off the stove and poured the soup into three bowls. To my surprise, Billy wheeled out the front door to call for Jake as I stacked the grilled cheeses onto a plate. He jogged in soon after and went straight to the bathroom to wash up. I laughed a little as I sat the food on the table.

His hair was wet from being out in the rain, so Jake had tied it back from his face.

"I feel like I'm playing house," I admitted with a small laugh.

Billy chuckled. "Hey, I don't need –that- much babying."

I grinned. "Uhm, so. Finish up your work on the Rabbit?"

"Almost. Shouldn't take more than a few minutes to finish up."

"Oh, and from the sounds of the forecast, you're in for another night of suffering our hospitality."

With a little snicker, I waved my hand. "You know, if you want me to cook something more interesting for dinner, you just have to ask.

Billy shook his head."It is nice having you around, Bella. But that could be because I'm partial to not having my son not mope about all the time. Makes the thought of finals seem horrifying again!"

I giggled as Jake pantomimed preparing to through the rest of his grilled cheese sandwich at his father. "Finals don't really scare me. It's everything beyond that that gets to me." Let them think that I meant things like graduation, college. I cold deal with those things as they came along. The things that normal humans had to deal with just didn't really faze me at this point. Not with Alice's vision still in place.

When I looked up, Billy had apparently excused himself from the table and disappeared, and Jake claimed the last grilled cheese. "Hey, uhm… Jake? Do you own any, you know, dressy clothes?"

He looked at me with a confused expression, but smirked after a moment. "I know I pretty much live in jeans, but I think one nice outfit is obligatory for anyone, just in case… Why?"

"I don't own one," I mumbled to myself, and got a chuckle from Jake. "But, uhm… Forks is having its homecoming in a couple of weeks. Want to go?" He blinked at me a few times and I blushed. "Uhm… never mind, then."

"No, no! I'll go, really. I want to. It's just… homecomings and dressing up never really seemed to be your thing. Especially after that part at the Cullen place where Alice dressed you up," he recalled with laughter.

"Yeah, well… All the talk about finals and life beyond school made me realize that I haven't done much of the stuff you're 'supposed' to do in high school. I don't mind it as much now, but I probably will later on."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Okay. But just to warn you, I can't really dance. Like… at all."

I smiled over at him. "I don't mind. We can sit all night and drink punch for all I care. I've got two left feet when it comes to walking, you think I'm going to get up in front of half my school and attempt to dance?"

He laughed again as he got up and began to gather dishes. The two of us ended up washing them together as we laughed and joked about just how much I would dress up from homecoming, from just showing up in jeans and a t-shirt to having us both show up in suits.

Then, since Billy was seated in front of the TV., we ended up back at the table to attempt getting through some of his weekend homework.

I bit my lip nervously, at the memory of kissing Edward. It kept pushing to the forefront of my thoughts, and I knew it was because Jake had a right to know. I just wasn't sure of the right way to or time to tell him. But I realized that the closest I would get to the right time was to make it as soon as possibly, to make sure it was me he got it from, and that it didn't just slip out at some point from someone else, unlikely as that might seem.

"Uhm… Hey, Jake? Can I talk to you a minute?"

After he jotted down an answer on a sheet of paper, he looked up at me. "Sounds serious," he said in a light, joking manner. When his eyes landed on my face, however, his brow furrowed. "Bells?"

"Well, it is. Sort of. I mean…" I took a deep breath in an attempt to keep myself from babbling. From the look on his face, that only made it worse. "It is serious in that it's not something to joke about or anything, but not in a way that I personally feel would change anything between us."

Relaxation seemed to settle in somewhat, but he still looked confused and curious. "Okay…?"

"Well, remember when you joked about Edward liking me?"

He tensed a little. "Yeah?"

"Turns out he does. Kinda." Yeah, more like he felt like he was in love with me, but that went into the whole vampire thing in my mind. Both because of what Alice said about intense emotions changing a vampire forever, but more to do with that it had happened because Edward had slipped into my room through a second story window and sat and listened to me talk in my sleep. Plus, from the look on Jake's face, 'likes' was bad enough. "Now, that part I really wouldn't think is all that important, not enough to warrant bringing it up like this." He gave a stiff nod of agreement, obviously wanting me to get to the real point, if that wasn't it. "But, uhm... the night of my party at the Cullens, he kissed me." That last part rushed out somewhat in my haste to make sure I didn't stammer or stall over it.

"What?" He was up out of his chair so fast that he knocked it over backwards.

"Jake?" Billy had turned to look toward us, and looked prepared to come back to the table to find out what had happened.

"Nothing, Billy!" I quickly insisted. I reached for and grabbed Jake's hand as I looked up at him. "Please, calm down enough for me to finish explaining? Remember I said it really wasn't all that serious?"

He stared back at me for a moment before he bent to put his chair upright and sit back down. "No worries, Dad."

I flashed Billy a quick smile. He peered between the two of us for a moment longer before he turned back to the television. Just in case, I made sure to keep my voice a little lower. "If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me. He kissed me because I asked him to." I cringed as a physical pain tore through me to see the hurt expression mar Jake's features. I wanted to hurry through and explain myself, but I held my tongue. He deserved a moment to try and assess all the information I had given him, because whatever the reasoning, it didn't change what had happened.

"So... Do you like him?"

I released a slow breath. "No. At least, I don't think so. Not in the way that I like you."

He seemed torn between feeling relieved or being further confused. "So... why would you have him kiss you, Bella?"

"Because I've been really confused," I admitted honestly. "I still have no idea why I had that dream. I mean, he doesn't really scare me or creep me out anymore, but I still won't take the bracelet off and risk having the dream again. I want to try and figure out what's going on in my head that I had that dream before I met him, so I asked... Not sure it helped anything though,"" I said with a sigh. Then I offered him a slight smile. "I think all that it did do was make me sure of my feelings for you."

There. Honesty in all the things I could be honest about. And then I endured the pained expression on his face, and did my best not to fidget in my seat at the resulting pain that I felt.

He drew in a deep breath before he pushed himself up from his chair. "I'm going to go back outside to work on the Rabbit."

I nodded my head and watched him walk out the front door into the rain with a sigh. Then I rose and walked over to the phone. At least he had talked to me.

I picked up the phone and dialed the number for the police station and asked for my dad. "Hey, Dad?"

"Yeah, Bells? What's up? You're riding out the storm with Billy and Jake, right?"

I flushed, and wondered again at my father's intentions for always being so willing to have me spend time with Jake. "Uhm, yeah. Hey, listen. I think you guys should take those bear sightings a little more seriously... Jake told me today that Emily Young was attacked by a bear a few days ago."

"Is she alright?"

"Yeah, well... she's alive and generally in one piece, from what I can tell. Jake said she's pretty scarred up..."

There was a brief silence on his end before he spoke again. "Alright. I'll tell everyone to keep an eye out. Probably set up a hunting party in the next few days... Bill still there?"

"Yeah, he's here. Be careful, okay Dad?"

"Sure, kid. You know me."

I snorted theatrically. "That's not really comforting, Dad."

He gave a short laugh. "Well, I won't be going alone, in any case. You just make sure to stay out of the woods, alright?"

"I will." Then I turned and called Billy over to the phone and returned to the table. For a lack of anything better to do, I sat back down with Jake's homework to look it over.

A few minutes later, I'd heard Billy get off the phone with my dad and then call Harry Clearwater. They talked for even less time than he was with my dad."

"Hey, Harry's coming to pick me up so we can talk about that hunting party. Not sure when I'll get back, so you two kids behave."

I gave a wry grin. "You know me, Billy." And I knew that I'd be lucky if Jake even felt like being inside while I was, much less want to be near me.

Billy chuckled. "True. See you later, Bella." With that, he wheeled himself out the front door. He was outside long enough to call out to Jake, and I heard the faint sounds of their conversation, then the sound of gravel being shifted under the weight of a moving vehicle. There were more voices briefly, then the sound of the care as it pulled away.

I watched the door for a few minutes, but it didn't move. With a sigh, I moved over to the couch and found the remote. There was nothing in particular that I wanted to see, but I desperately needed to find some way to distract myself. I flipped through the channels until I found some sitcom. I tried to make myself concentrate on it, bit it was impossible to focus. But I curled up on the couch and forced my attention to the screen, tried to follow the dialogue, but found myself lost each time laughter sounded from the background. My eyes drooped somewhat, and I actually welcomed the thought of even a few minutes of the darkness and silence a dreamless sleep could bring.

But I was not to be so lucky. I found myself seated at the table once again as I looked up at Jake. He looked just as he had when I'd said that Edward has kissed me.

Instead of trying to calm him down, I only stared, gasped out loud as he began to shake with rage.

"Bella!"

I turned in my seat in time to see Edward behind me. "Edward, what...?"

"Bella, get away from him!" He reached out and grabbed my arm, pulled me up and away from the table. I stumbled into his arms, completely bewildered. But as I struggled to right myself, there was a low growl from behind.

I turned and looked for Jake, but found only an impossibly large wolf with red-brown fur in his place. Edward insistently tugged my hand to lead me away. I seemed to be unaware of reality, and simply pulled myself away from Edward's grasp. My hand extended unshakably toward the wolf. It looked at me with doleful, but trusting eyes as it stepped forward to bump its head against my hand. Then in the nest moment, I was jerked away, the wolf sent flying through the wall.

"No! Jake!"

"Bella! Bells?" I was shaken awake with a gasp that lead to immediate coughing, with how sore my throat was. I felt the hands that had shaken me leave, then moments later, a glass put into my hands.

I drank without thinking, but the real world slowly filtered back into my vision. The glass was immediately set aside and I through my arms around Jake. I didn't care if he was still mad or upset, I just needed to feel him in my arms. To know that he was safe. That he was still my Jacob.

To my immense relief, there was little hesitation as his arms went about me and pulled me tight against his body. His face lowered to bury in my hair. "Geez, Bella... You sure know how to keep a guy on his toes..."

My short laugh came out as a half-choked hiccup, but I struggled to hold back the sobs that threatened. He placed the glass back in my hand, and I took a few long drinks before I began to calm down. "What happened?"

"I finished working pretty soon after my dad left... Sat out on the porch for a while so I could think... Then all of a sudden you screamed. My name, like you were terrified..." The pained expression returned, deeper than it had been before. "You were on the floor when I got in here. I put you back on the couch and woke you up..."

"Oh, Jake... You don't think that I had a dream where I was scared of **you**, do you?"

"Why not? You sure sounded like it..."

"Kiss me, Jake. Please, please... just kiss me."

His brow furrowed as he gazed down at me. But my expression must have convinced him, because in the next second his hands were around my face, fingers tangled in my hair as he drew me up so our lips could meet. It felt impossibly warm against him, and the touch of his lips drove away all the fear that had been clinging to my heart, weighing down on my chest.

I melted into him, thrilled at the sound of his quick intake of breath as I placed a hand against his neck. I was unwilling to let him pull away from me, and he seemed perfectly willing to oblige my sudden need to be near him. By the time we did pull apart, I was in his lap with both my hands under his shirt, and one of his hands fully entangled in my hair, the other at my hip from where he had pulled me into his lap. We both had to gasp for breath, our foreheads pressed together in our unwillingness to part.

"Does that seem like I'm scared of you, Jake?"

He chuckled and shook his head somewhat. "If I say yes, will you kiss me like that again."

"Maybe. But I think you;d get a lot further by asking nicely."

His brow knit together. "Bella..."

I shivered at the way my name sounded from his lips, almost a sigh mixed with longing and happiness as he drew me into him once again.

We didn't part for some time. Instead we melted together as our lips moved and we shifted against one another. By the time my fuzzy thoughts began to function again, I was laying on top of him, and his shirt was tossed over the back of the couch.

I flushed darkly and drew away, prompting a groan from him. I attempted to smooth my hair down ass he pulled himself upright comfortably. "Uhm... more water?" He looked embarrassed at himself. I licked my lips and gave a sheepish smile. "Ice water..." Trying to let him know without so many words that he had had the same effect on me that I had apparently had on him.

He laughed in an embarrassed fashion, then quickly rose. "Uhm... I should... shower. Probably still dirty from working on the car..."

I merely nodded as he quickly walked away. As soon as I heard the door to the bathroom shut, I got up and went to the kitchen sink to splash cold water over my face and neck, then got myself the glass of ice water.

As I gulped it down, I tried to clear my fuzzy thoughts over the past few minutes. I knew it was largely because of my emotions that I felt so flushed, but even as I touched my skin, it felt warm. As if I had been seated a little too close to a roaring fire. I filled my glass again before I wandered back to the couch and sat in an attempt to clear my thoughts.

Jake had always seemed warm to me. But now I remembered his skin had been hot to the touch. Like he'd been running a fever that had affected his entire body. I made a mental note to make sure he was okay once he got out of the shower, but otherwise tried to clear my thoughts. If I kept thinking about the way we had just been kissing, my thoughts would be in no way coherent by the time he walked back into the room.

I tried to school my thoughts back into something more coherent, but even as I stepped away from memories of how it had felt to kiss Jake like that, my thoughts began to teeter on the edge of my dream. My breathing quickened somewhat. The thought of revisiting it so soon sent chills down my spine, but I knew I must. Especially if I wanted to have anything to tell Jake when he emerged from the shower.

There was little to be remembered. The dream had been very short, but nonetheless endlessly confusing. Why would Edward try to pull me away from Jake? The recent revelation of his feelings didn't seem likely to make him act like that at all. Even amongst his claims of only wanting to keep me safe, and the veil of misinformation, he had not yet physically interfered in my life. And despite the dream, I could not truly picture him doing it.

And what of the wolf? I sighed and rubbed my temples. It didn't make any literal sense. But then, neither had the dream of Edward attacking me. He seemed more against the possibility of my life ending than even I was.

I almost laughed at myself as a thought occurred. It didn't make the feud make any more sense, but it made more sense because of it. It seemed my mind liked toying with me. Edward being what he was had turned his 'enemy' in my dream into the one from Jacob's legend.

The shower stopped and I was back on my feet and waiting for him by the time he emerged again with just his pants on, long hair still damp and pulled back from his face in a ponytail. I threw my arms around him. His surprise fell away and his arms went around my waist in return.

"This sort of defeats the purpose of showering in cold water, Bells..."

I flushed but giggled a little at the same time. "Sorry... Just had some time to think about my dream. It was very short, really... but I think it all boils down to me having an over-active imagination, both to think that two boys would actually fight over me and the form it took."

"Form?"

"Uhm, well... remember the legend you told me?"

His brow furrowed for a second, but then he laughed as the picture come together in his head. "Ah. I guess that makes it a little easier to accept the idea of you being afraid of me..."

"But I wasn't!" I insisted. "I was actually reaching out to pet you, I think, when the fight started." As if to illustrate my point, I pulled the band from his hair so that I could run my fingers through it.

He pulled me tighter and drew a deep breath. "Maybe I really should be worried about you, Bella. Confronted by a werewolf and you reach out to pet it? Very odd."

I giggled once more. "But it seems like me, doesn't it?"

A grin spread across his face. "Yeah, I guess it does. Hey, there's supposed to be a horror film festival tonight. Want to watch?"

I smiled and gave a little nod of my head. "Sure, Jake."


	18. Chapter Seventeen

January 2006

Forks, Washington – Bella

It turned out that night that Jake had really worked on my truck a little as my birthday present. It wasn't a great change, bit it did run a little bit more quietly now, though it did continue to announce my presence. But he promised it would last me a little longer now, which I was grateful for. I loved my truck.

Jake and I did go to homecoming in October, after I had to endure another of Alice's makeovers. Alice and Edward had gone as well, of course. I'd even danced once with Edward, despite my jumbled emotions when it came to him. The least I could do was be kind about it, and I had to admit, it had been fun. I couldn't really dance at all, but Edward had me stand on his feet as he dance for both of us. But I still preferred the goofing off and simple swaying that was dancing with Jake.

Over winter break, the Cullens grew increasingly tense when Alice had announced that we would have some visitors come spring time. Edward grew predictably more tense and would constantly sway between the decision to stay and wanting to leave again. In the end, he settled on staying, since Alice pointed out them leaving wouldn't stop the visitors from passing through the area, and would leave me and all of Forks without any kind of protection.

Despite Alice's assurances that she still didn't see the actual transformation taking place as a result of these visitors, I did all I could to keep myself distracted. I had study sessions with Angela when finals approached, spent entire weekends down at La Push, found myself almost constantly with my camera in hand. I'd never been so keen on having so many photos of my high school years, but it gave me something more to talk to my mother about. More reasons to sit down and write time-consuming hand-written letters so I could send along some photos to her.

I also began to go on actual dates with Jake, which he began to enjoy a great deal more once he turned sixteen and got his license. My poor truck was all but forgotten, used only to go to and from school. We even went on some group dates with kids from my school, though to be honest, that was more to satisfy my parents that I wasn't spending all my time with Jake.

Then one night, when we had all planned to go see a movie together, I found myself alone with Mike and Jake. It probably annoyed Jake more than it did me, given Mike hadn't been too quiet about the fact that he liked me during the 'off' periods in his on again, off again relationship that he and Jess had. Angela had called me beforehand to say that Ben had caught whatever it was that had been going around school, and that she'd be at his place nursing him, then Mike showed up alone to say that Jess had gotten sick as well.

I just took a deep breath and paid for mine and Jake's tickets to the latest horror flick. Even if it had been just me and Jake, I'd never been terribly into romantic films, and even if I had, a very public and crowded theater would hardly be my ideal for a place to watch it with my boyfriend.

About half-way through the movie, Jake and I were laughing so hard at the cheesy dialogue and even cheesier effects that I was afraid that they were going to kick us out of the theater. But I quieted when I noticed Mike get up and bolt for the doors. Jake snickered as I got up. "What a wuss."

I glared at him, but couldn't help but laugh a little myself as we made it out into the lobby. "Hey, be nice... He might have caught whatever it is going around at school."

"Yeah, okay," Jake said with a laugh, though he tried to school his expression into something a little closer to concern.

We sat down at the foot of some stairs near the bathrooms and waited for Mike to emerge. Jake reached over and took my hand and I smiled over at him before I shook my head. "I still can't get over how tall you're getting. You've got to be at least a foot taller than me already!"

"Six feet, four inches," he stated as he straightened up as if to show off every inch of it. "Dad says he thinks I'm going to get even taller."

I rolled my eyes before I glanced down at our joined hands. Over the past few months I'd grown used to the fact that Jake ran a little warmer than most people, but tonight it seemed worse. "Jake!..." I freed my hand from his to put it against his forehead, and I frowned. "Jake, you're burning up!"

"I feel fine," he insisted with a shrug of his shoulders. "More than, really." He leaned down and kissed my cheek.

I stared up at him, unconvinced until Mike made his way back out of the bathroom. "I think I caught something... I was sick before the movie even started."

"Yeah, okay," Jake said with a small smirk.

I glared at him again before I looked again to Mike. "We'll take you home, I don't think it's safe for you to drive."

Mike just gave a nod of his head as Jake muttered something about puking in his car. But we managed to get Mike home and into his house without incident. "Hey, Bells? I know we were planning to hang out at your place, but I'm really not feeling so hot. Mind if I drop you off and head home?"

"No... Are you sure you're okay to drive yourself, though? I could drive you back, or my dad could, even... get you there quicker."

"I'll be okay, really. It's not that bad yet."

I nodded my head slowly, but immediately started to form a plan in my head to get him to stay long enough to gain my dad's attention. No way would Chief Swan let Jake get away with trying to drive like this.

Luck was on my side, however. My dad was outside loading his fishing gear into the trunk of his cruiser, probably for an especially early fishing trip in the morning. I quickly rolled down my window. "Dad!" He turned immediately, and I heard Jake curse under his breath. "Dad, Jake's not feeling well, and I'm worried about him trying to drive."

My dad turned more fully to look at us, brow furrowed in concern as he walked over to the driver's side. Jake rolled down the window with a sigh. "Jake? Are you alright?"

"I'm alright, Charlie... Just a little fever."

"Dad! He's burning up! Jake, if you insist on driving, I'm staying right in this seat until you're home."

Jake glared at me a moment, but I knew it was more out of frustration and embarrassment than real anger, because it melted away as soon as his eyes found mine. He took off his belt and got out of the car as Charlie stepped back. I was out right after him and headed over to the driver's seat.

"I'll be right behind you, kiddo."

I shot my dad a grateful smile before he climbed into the cruiser.

Despite his claims, Jake leaned the passenger seat back as far as it would go. "Jake? Are you alright? 'Cause I'm sure Dad wouldn't mind you crashing here, if you don't want to make the drive."

"No," he mumbled, his arm pressed over his face as he sighed. "I really don't feel super sick, just... odd. And I guess a little warm. But if I'm as sick as you think I am, I don't want to expose you to it any more than I already have..."

I nodded and pulled out of the driveway. "Alright... Hey, at least you aren't puking, right? You'd hate to have to clean that up!"

"Aw, but honey, you wouldn't want to help me out?"

I snickered, mostly just happy that he wasn't so sick that he couldn't find his sense of humor. "No way. Cars are all you. I do the cooking."

He chuckled faintly, and in the next moment, I heard the faintest snore. I smiled to myself and did my best to make the trip as gentle as possible. When we got to his house, I ran ahead to open the door as Charlie helped a groggy Jake out of the car. Billy watched us bring him to his bed, brow furrowed.

"Make sure somebody sees him soon, Billy... This seems to have come on pretty fast."

Billy gave a nod of his head, then went straight for the phone. I walked back outside and pulled the Rabbit into the garage before I jogged back to the cruiser and got in.

Charlie was quiet most the way home before he pointedly cleared his throat. "Hey, uh... I'm really proud of you, Bells. That was really responsible."

I blushed a bit. "I was just worried about Jake. He acts tough a lot, and he can sound grown-up sometimes, but he's really pretty much still a kid, too."

I don't know how I expected him to respond, but it definitely wasn't to see him burst out in laughter. I stared at him until it stopped. "Well, Bells... sounds like he's your perfect match... You know what Renee says."

"Yeah, yeah.. I was born middle-aged."

He chuckled and gave a small nod of his head. "I can't disagree. You've always taken on a lot more responsibility than most kids your age, Bells. It's good that you still have times that you act like a kid."

I blushed and finally just shrugged my shoulders. It was rare that my dad had anything really 'fatherly' to say, out side of reminders to be home by curfew or be careful, so it was sometimes awkward and hard to find the right way to respond to him. So when we got home, I wished him good night and rushed up the stairs. I wanted to be able to get up early in order to go check up on Jake.

But when I woke again, it was about give in the morning, and I had to rush right for the bathroom. My dad heard the footsteps and came up to check up on me. He took one look at me bent over the toilet and left the room, only to return a minute later with a glass of water in hand. "Need anything, Bells?"

"No, Dad... I think I'm good for now..."

"Are you sure? Because I could stay home, if you want..." He looked around lamely, and offered me a ponytail holder from the counter.

I managed a small smile and a faint "Thank you" before I got sick again. Then I managed to pull my hair back into the ponytail band. "Really, Dad... I'll probably be in here all day. Go have fun fishing."

"Alright, well... Take care, kiddo.." He patted my head sympathetically before he turned and left.

I hovered over the toilet for a bit longer before I just curled up on the floor with a couple of folded towels under my head and dozed off. I woke once or twice throughout the day to get sick again. When I was sure there was nothing left in my stomach, I fumbled my way back to bed and laid down on top of the covers, somehow still too tired to be bothered with pulling them up.

The next time I woke, my dad was in the room to set a glass of water on my nightstand. "Oh, hey Bells. Didn't mean to wake you... Ran into Mr. Newton down at the store. Said Mike was feeling better."

That did cheer me up, at least a little. At least his seemed to have run its course in about twenty-four hours. That meant I only had to endure this for a few more hours. I'd be better in enough time to go see Jake in the morning.

But when I ran down the stairs the next morning, my dad greeted me with a frown. "Billy called... Doctor said Jake had come down with mono, so he's going to be laid up for a while, and really shouldn't have visitors until the doctor says it's safe."

"Oh..." I slumped into a chair and frowned as my father contemplated me.

"Are you sure you're alright, Bells? You were around Jake a lot lately."

"No, I'm fine, seriously. Maybe a little stiff from laying on the bathroom floor for so long yesterday, but nothing like what Jake had, with that fever."

"Well..."

"If it makes you feel better, I could hang out with the Cullens today? That way, I'll be near a doctor who would notice if I was sick." That, and I knew I could never pass anything along to any of them.

My dad relaxed visibly. "That'd be great, Bells. See you later."" He headed out the door to go to work.

Not even a moment later, the phone rang and I jumped up to grab it. "Hello?"

"Hi, Bella! We're going to have so much fun today! See you soon!" There was a click, and I laughed to myself. Of course Alice had seen my decision. If it had been anyone but her, I might have been annoyed or depressed that it wasn't Jake. But for Alice, I just turned and went up the stairs to change. I felt perfectly comfortable around Jake wen I was dressed in worn jeans and a t-shirt, bit it was hard enough to be around the Cullens with as beautiful as they all were without emphasizing the difference. So I hunted up a pair of khakis and a blouse.

I had only gotten the pants on and was halfway through slipping into the blouse when I heard a knock on my window. Startled, I yelped and jumped, crashed into my desk, and would have hit the floor if a pair of cold hands hadn't caught me.

"Sorry, Bella," came the bell-like voice, hinted with laughter. Alice helped me put the blouse on, then sat me down in the chair. It took me a moment to realize she was putting a french braid in my hair. And she was deliberately slow about it.

She caught my questioning expression and laughed. "It's good to make boys wait now and then, Bella! Jasper and Edward are downstairs. I thought since you were sick yesterday, we could all go have some fin today in Olympia or something. Shopping, dining out, maybe ice-skating..."

My eyes bugged out. "Alice, I just fell over changing my clothes, you want me on **ice**? In shoes with extra no-balance in them?"

She giggled as she tied a ribbon at the end of the braid. "You think amongst three of us, we couldn't catch you? Besides, it's one of those things you should experience at least once. It's wonderful!"

"Yeah, maybe if you're super graceful and don't have to worry about frost bite!"

She scoffed at me, but said no more. But I knew I hadn't changed her mind from the way she hummed to herself as she dug through my shoes until she found a pair that she liked. Or could live with, at least.

"Please, please, please let me buy you a few a few new outfits, Bella? I swear you can count it as an early graduation present. Pleeeeease?"

I stared as she fluttered her eyelashes at me. I hesitated. "One condition."

Her eyebrow quirked.

"I get final say... You wouldn't want me not to get good use out of them, right?"

She scowled briefly before she finally gave a nod. "Deal." She danced out of the room and down the stairs before me, and went straight into Jasper's arms.

I hesitated briefly at the foot of the stairs when I caught Edward's brooding expression. This was the first time I'd seen him outside of school and a couple of visits to the Cullen house since homecoming, but that had been amongst a jumble of students or to talk about the visitors.

He looked up toward me, probably to search out the source of my hesitation. But my heart fluttered as he gave me a smile. Crap. There was no way all three of them hadn't heard my jumpy human heart. Then it picked up speed again as realization swept over me. How had I missed it before? The shopping part was undeniably just Alice being Alice, but dining out and ice-skating? It sounded just like a romantic date from some cheesy film.

"Bella?" Edward's voice was like velvet as he spoke, though concern was evident as it was in his features. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah... I'm okay... Just worried about Jake. He's really sick, but I can't go see him." Partial truths again. This was truly tiresome.

Edward and Alice exchanged a quick glance, and I pretended not to notice as I walked over to jot down a quick note to my father about where I would be, and put Alice's cell phone number at the bottom. "Alright... let's get this torture over with!"

Jasper actually laughed a little as we walked outside, the morning fog barely burned off. I was the only one who seemed to make noise as I crunched over the layer of snow on the ground on my way to the back seat of the SUV they had brought today. Probably more for the sake of my sanity than any real safety issues, I noted to myself as I saw the snow tires. But I was grateful to feel the heat inside, since they had left it running while they were inside.

I sat in the back with Edward as Alice drove, my eyes closed and my head against the seat in my effort to ignore the speeds Alice managed to get the SUV to.

The shopping honestly wasn't that bad. Alice behaved herself quite well and steered clear of anything she knew would make me uncomfortable, though that didn't stop her from making me model some things for her. She rarely let me stand there by myself, however, and was often modeling something for Jasper. We ended up goofing off, Alice and I in goofy hats or outrageous costume jewelry as she bedecked the two of them in boas or perched our hats on their heads.

In the end, it took all four of us to haul out the bags to the SUV. Some of it was for Alice, but I felt that was just as much to make me feel less put upon as it was for her benefit. Even if she insisted that I could count it not only as a gift from her, but from Jasper and Emmett as well. It still made me feel somewhat ill, given the contents of those bags could replace more than half my current wardrobe, but there was no resisting Alice when she was in such high spirits.

We went to lunch next and they all ordered. Though their food disappeared partially, I didn't even bother to guess where it went to. They kept me entertained throughout with stories of their family. Nothing morbid or suspicious-sounding, should anyone happen to overhear anything, but more so to keep me entertained, I suspected.

"Okay, now... ice-skating!" Alice exclaimed as Edward slipped a few bills into the check folder. He narrowed his eyes at her.

I didn't understand his reaction, but I understood mine. "Uhm... How about more shopping?" Alice looked at me incredulously. "No, really!"

She gave a slow nod of her head, unsure of what I was up to because I didn't know myself. Did Edward look grateful? I didn't linger long enough to ponder it, and soon lead the way through the mall.

Clothing stores were completely avoided as I searched, but I finally saw my salvation in the form of a large book store. I ducked in and heard Edward and even Jasper chuckle at the way I'd thwarted Alice.

She trailed behind me sullenly for about ten minutes before she gave a dramatic sigh. "Okay. I'm going to do more of **my** kind of shopping. Edward, call me when you guys are done?" She flitted off without waiting for a response, Jasper close at her heels.

Edward laughed again, once they were gone. "Very clever, Ms. Swan."

I shrugged my shoulders in an effort to be nonchalant, but I couldn't help a small smile. "Well, I honestly could do with something new to read."

"Agreed. Your Jane Austen and Wuthering Heights copies are falling apart at the seams."

I chose to ignore that comment and what it meant about how much time he'd spent in my room without my knowledge. Instead, I just wandered through the aisles and picked up a book here and there to read the jacket cover. He seemed to take the hint and eased back, though I noted he never strayed so far as to lose me in his field of vision.

About an hour passed before he walked over to me. "Alice is on her way back," he said with a sigh. "Jasper's already gone out to pull the car around and let it warm up." He held a hand out and took the small pile of books I held in my arms when I didn't hand them over. "My graduation present to you," he insisted as he went for the register.

"Wait, wait!" He turned to look back at me as I caught up. "Wasn't sure of all those yet..." I mumbled as I picked through the pile. I became aware of Alice at the entrance as she impatiently tapped her foot. But I took my time, and under Edward's patient but narrowed gaze, took the pile down to just one book – a collection of poetry from nineteenth century poets like William Blake, Alfred Tennyson, Emily Dickinson, Lewis Carroll, and Elizabeth Browning. He sighed and plucked another book out of the ones I'd taken back. The Sun Also Rises.

"You really should read this one. It's a classic." Then he didn't give me a chance to protest as he went to the counter.

I endeavored to waste more time by placing the books where they belonged, but a clerk was right behind me and asked for the stack with a happy smile. I tried to sound sincere as I thanked her, but Alice soon had my hand and led me to the door. "Ice-skating," she insisted. "Before it gets too cold and dark outside."

I rolled my eyes, but didn't protest as I was taken outside to where Jasper waited. After I got in, I noticed the pile in the back had grown. At least it was Alice's. A box was then thrust into my hands.

"Renting skates is just too gross, Bella. So I bought you your own pair!"

I sighed and resigned myself to at least trying to enjoy the experience. At least it seemed that Edward shared my sentiments about the whole thing, though even as I gazed at him as he got in beside me, I couldn't fathom why. It couldn't possibly have anything to do with my safety or apparent inevitable transformation. Even Alice would not be so cavalier. Eager as she might be to have me as her best friend for all time, she would never put me at risk or allow me to be bitten while I was still against the idea of becoming a vampire.

It didn't take long for us to arrive at the frozen lake. It was fairly empty, something I was extremely grateful for. Less of an audience to watch when I proved myself to be completely devoid of grace.

Alice and Jasper wasted no time in getting out on the ice, and I was perfectly content to simply watch them. I was sure that even the finest of competitive or professional skaters could not compare with the way they moved. They were completely lost in it and each other. I somehow felt almost silly for thinking the greatest love stories of all time were of couples like Romeo and Juliet, Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy. In that moment, I knew nothing could compare.

Edward sat contentedly next to me on the bench for some time, even as I tore my eyes from the two of them to watch other skaters. An unsteady couple in each others arms, a small group of teens that drifted in slow circles as they joked and laughed with one another, and an identical pair of girls not more than eight or nine years old as they attempted several moves under the watchful gaze of an older man out on the ice with them as he coached them along.

A sigh escaped me after a while though, and I shook my head. "Jasper's at it again... I suddenly feel perfectly calm and... confident about giving this a try." He smirked a little as he crouched down to properly lace up my skates. I was confused only for a moment, until he helped me to my feet. I probably wouldn't have thought to lace them up so tightly, and my ankles would have been seriously lacking in support. I shot him a sheepish smile. "Thanks."

Needless to say, I had even more trouble with this than I had with surfing. As infused with confidence as Jasper had made me, it could do nothing about my actual skill and inevitable clumsiness. I would have ended up a bruised mess if Edward hadn't stayed at my side and continuously caught me. Eventually, he moved around in front of me. I thought he had finally lost patience with me. But he took both my hands and turned to face me. "Keep still... lock your legs into place."

Confusion washed over me, but I did as he instructed. A moment later, I was being pulled around the ice in a wide circle, Edward skating backwards as fast as he could manage while still keeping up the human charade. I closed my eyes and smiled to feel the cold wind rushing past, heard the sound of his skates as they cut over the ice with ease. Distantly, I could still hear the man as he coached the girls and the teens laugh. It all almost faded though, and I became more aware of him. The laugh that emerged was mixed with nervousness and joy at these new sensations.

Then he gave a quick intake of breath, and it was so unexpected in my little world that I somehow unlocked my legs as my eyes shot open. I stumbled into his arms as my feet slid backwards from underneath me.

I gasped a little as our eyes met, and I couldn't help but blush and turn my face away as I felt my pulse quicken. I tried to make it go away by trying to turn my thoughts away. "So... why were you so against ice-skating today? You seem to enjoy it."

He slowly helped me right myself, though he kept a hold on me. There was hesitation before he finally spoke. "Alice apparently had some sort of vision about this day that she's managed to keep hidden from me. All I've seen in her head is us skating, I think you actually manage to on your own," he pointed out with a playful smile before it quickly faded. "But she seems convinced that it will help you reconsider your decision."

My brow furrowed as I slowly shook my head. "No... My decision remains the same." The tone of my voice was so definite that he didn't even bother to question it. He just looked relieved. A smile crossed his face. "Shall we try again then, Bella?"

A light shiver passed through me at the sound of my name in that velvety voice. Almost sinister, in a way... but undeniably beautiful and seductive. "Sure!"

He began to lead me around again, but at my urging slowed down so that I could start to mimic the movement of his feet and legs, and slowly began to assist in propelling myself along. Then I took a deep breath. "Okay... You can let go."

He released my hands, but continued to skate in front of me with his arms extended. I stumbled once as I stared down at my feet, but quickly corrected my balance even as he reached out for me.

Finally, I lifted my gaze and beamed at him. "My dad's so not going to believe this. Neither is... Jake..." I frowned a little.

Edward didn't respond for a long while. Not even after he stopped skating backwards in favor of joining me at my side instead. I had to blush a little to notice the painful difference in the way we moved. It just made me more certain that the universe was having a good laugh at our expense. Because I couldn't deny that I felt at least a little something for Edward, but I didn't think it was anywhere close to what he claimed to feel for me.

How could someone like me have been meant for someone like him? He with all his beautiful, cool grace and dazzling smile, his seductive voice. Then there was me, all but the antithesis of grace and beauty. It was a completely unbalanced match, even before the whole immortality thing was accounted for.

I just could never imagine willingly choosing a life where I would have to watch everyone I loved die. Even if things had been different, and I had fallen for Edward instead of Jacob... could I have made the decision differently?

I turned my head in order to look up at him. My breath caught as he glanced down at me, and I blushed and ducked my head. Maybe I might have fallen for Edward, had things gone differently somehow. But I still couldn't imagine myself giving up my whole life, having to tear myself away from all my friends and family for fear of putting them in harm's way.

I would never have to make that choice with Jake. To even think of being with Edward left me in constant fear of what it would mean, who would be hurt because of it. But almost as silly as I felt picturing my future at all, any one with Jake at my side was free of fear. I saw only warmth and love. So I drew in a deep breath and tried to put it all completely from my mind.

"We should probably go... I'm starting to feel a little numb from all the cold," I said, and as if to emphasize my point, a breeze sent a hard shiver down my back.

Edward quickly agreed and helped me reach the bench so I could put my shoes back on, though this time I did it for myself. Alice and Jasper were soon next to us. Alice cheerfully handed me my camera. "I hope you don't mind, but I grabbed it before we left. I thought you might enjoy proof that you skated on your own."

I couldn't help but laugh as we headed back for the SUV and got back in. "Thanks, Alice... My parents and friends will get a kick out of that."

This time Edward drove and I sat up front next to him. We headed back to Forks, but not before Alice insisted on getting me hot chocolate, just to complete the experience of the day. I didn't mind in the least, since it not only helped to warm me, but gave me something to do, or at least to hold as I sifted through my muddled thoughts. There was nothing there that made me feel as if I were one iota closer to rethinking the possibility of becoming an immortal. Other than that, I couldn't think of anything that would have pushed Alice to be so insistent about this particular 'human' experience.

"Oh, Bella! You're going to let me help you get ready for prom, right?"

"Uhm... I hadn't even thought about going yet, to be honest."

"You will!" Alice said cheerfully. "You and Edward have a dance together and you look absolutely beautiful! So naturally, I must have a hand in creating your look!"

I had to laugh. "Just a hand, Alice? Or the whole deal?"

"Hmm... Actually, you might pick out the dress. It's not really my taste, but it's lovely on you! Maybe Jess and Angela will want to go shopping?"

"I'll try to remember to ask... you know, once prom isn't months away. But I'm pretty sure I have to ask my date first. No way am I going and subjecting myself to all the girl talk between Jess and Lauren..."

We pulled up in front of my house, and I was glad to see my dad was still out. A little worried at the same time, given how long I'd been out, but I knew my dad could take care of himself.

At least I wouldn't have to risk him having a heart attack from seeing all the bags and boxes brought in. Luckily, between me and the three vampires, it took just one trip. Well, one for me. I was sure I felt them fly back past me down the stairs and back up again before Edward and Jasper walked more casually back down.

"Alice says she'll help you with everything, since she's mostly at fault for it..."

I grinned at Jasper. "Just mostly? Okay, well... thanks, guys. See you at school tomorrow." Then I headed up the stairs and into my room, and gasped at the sight of my bed. Or at least, where my bed should have been. At that moment, it was just a great pile of boxes and bags. "Alice! Please tell me some of this is yours!"

"Afraid not... I did some more shopping while you were getting your books. But really, it won't look near as bad once it's all out!" To prove her point, she began to pull things out and lay them in neat stacks on my bed. Granted, I only really saw the stacks form and grow, her movements too quick for me to follow. When she was done, she turned to me and beamed. "See?"

"Well... I can see my bed, at least..." I allowed as I walked over to pick through the things I didn't recognize, and tried to keep myself calm. How had I let myself get tricked into letting this happen?

She caught my expression. "Okay, from Esme too! As gifts from four Cullens, it doesn't seem to be near as much, right?" She bit her lip as she gazed over the piles, then smiled at me. "Okay, maybe I went a **little** overboard. How about you pick some things out and I'll take them back, and I'll put away the things you already said okay to?"

I sighed, but took the offer. I dug through all the things I didn't recognize, automatically pushing aside some expensive-looking perfumes and cosmetics that I knew I would never make real use of and probably had cost hundreds of dollars. Then I dug through what turned out to be a pile of lingerie. "Alice! Did you really expect me to wear these kinds of things? Seriously, can you picture me in this stuff?" I held up piece that looked like nothing more than ribbons of lace.

"Well, **I'm** not supposed to, silly!" She said with a giggle as she danced back over to the bed and sat with me. "But you're right, it's not really sexy if you're uncomfortable, so let's see..." She sorted through the pile quickly and turned it into two.

Some of the things left in my pile still boggled my mind, and it was larger than the other, but it was east to tell that was because my items simply were made of more material than the ones she had pulled out. But I still blushed as I put away the silky slips and pajamas. "Now, for those dresses... Alice, you know I'll never wear them..."

She pouted at me and looked them over before she perked up somewhat. "I can take some back, but... admit it, you'll need **something** for some special occasions. Let's see..." Each dress was picked up and sat aside into one pile or another, set to some formula that must live in Alice's mind alone. "First thing's first. Graduation?" She pointed to a small pile of dresses in various shades of green, all of a light material that could be comfortable on a sunny day. That one sort of made sense, the green would probably look relatively good on me and not look too terrible against the horrendous yellow polyester graduation robes.

I dug through the pile until I found a simple sundress that wasn't too short for my tastes. Alice simply placed those that remained back into a bag. The rest of the piles went just as easily. A couple for weddings she felt sure weren't too far off in the future, and then three others because 'a girl should always be prepared for unexpected special occasions'. I didn't complain, it would save me from similar trips in the near future. And I got to see a couple dozen dresses go back into bags, along with a half dozen pairs of shoes that would have more befit those things that were back in their bags.

"Okay!" She chirped cheerfully. "Jaz is pulling up to take me back home. I'll see you later, Bella!" She kissed my cheek and fluttered out the door with bags in hand.

I just turned and stared at my much fully closet and drawers, and realized that my wardrobe had doubled, and groaned. Alice had probably bought so much because she knew how I was... I would complain, then relent somewhat. She knew all along how much I wouldn't want to keep. And she'd bought it to make me feel like I'd sent a lot back.

I sighed, but simply headed for the shower. It would do no good to call her and argue. Alice would be Alice.


	19. Chapter Eighteen

January 2006

Forks, Washington – Edward

"Alright, Alice. Explain."

She looked over at me as she walked through the door, arms laden with bags. "Explain...?"

"Your behavior today. I can't figure out what it was that you saw that made you think Bella might reconsider her decision."

"Ah... well... Nothing really, Edward. I just saw that it would be a good memory for her. One with us in it that didn't involve fear of attack, or awkward social situations for her like dances or graduation."

I peered at her for a few moments, and I couldn't deny the truth in her words. She'd seen Bella send the pictures off to her mother with a long letter, show them to her dad and laugh. "Okay. What else?"

Alice sank down onto the couch as her expression grew more serious. "I used to be able to see her future all the time, intertwined with Jake's. But now when I try, I can't see anything. Her future disappears."

I closed my eyes, desperate to control the sudden upswell of emotions. "Jacob's going to join the pack."

"Did you doubt it, once we knew the Quileutes were becoming mongrels again?" Rosalie pointed out from where she stood across the room. "He is Ephraim Black's grandson. So not only will he be one, but he's meant to lead them. Isn't that how that whole thing goes for them?"

"Yes," I admitted through gritted teeth, having no trouble instantly recalling the thoughts I had gleaned from the minds of the three wolves that day.

Alice shrugged over at me. "Bella doesn't know about the werewolves, Edward. Not really. It might terrify her once she finds out. So naturally, I want her to feel more comfortable around us, to have us to go to. Especially since it seems they're not allowed to tell anyone, given her stories of Leah and Sam... If she feels Jake is abandoning her... she'll need friends. Especially ones that can keep her safe."

"I don't know. That girl handles weird really well."

My family was slowly all gathering around mine and Alice's conversation. It was near impossible to keep them away, at the sound of Bella's name.

Carlisle nodded his agreement to Emmett's assessment. "In so little time, she's learned our kind exists, and that knowing this puts her life in grave danger almost every day."

"Not to mention learning that a vampire's in love with her," Rosalie pointed out, and I could easily read all her usual scathing thoughts and petty jealousies. Esme scolded her softly as I rolled my eyes.

Carlisle simply continued as if he had not been interrupted. "And yet she continues to accept our friendship, even talk with us about the concerns we have over our safety. She doesn't panic at the thought of Alice's vision, at least... not in the way we would expect. She seems to worry, but has her mind made up to fight it."

"She handles weird well," Emmett surmised with a shrug.

"But the wolves are dangerous," Jasper pointed out. "Unpredictable, and violent. Made even more dangerous by the fact that Alice can't see them..."

"So, what are we supposed to do? Our choices are hope that she's heartbroken or basically kidnap her and force her to stay away from the friends she's known all her life if she does figure it out?" I threw my hands up in the air.

"Well..." Alice hedged.

I immediately scowled at the direction Alice's thoughts took. "That's not even an option! To even ask her to love me is to ask her to give up everything. We're trying to protect her, not endanger her even more."

She huffed slightly as Rosalie glared over at her. "Then we stick to my original plan. Spend as much time with her as possible so she may feel like coming to us, that we're the safer option. If she does figure it out, that is... And I don't think she'd have trouble at that point figuring out what happened to that one girl she told us about. And if she doesn't figure out what Jake is turning into, she'll have a whole family of friends to comfort and distract her."

Carlisle gave a wry smile. "I've never before in my life wished an illness on anyone, but it certainly would be easier on so many if Jacob Black really was simply ill."

I turned on my heel and headed for the door. "I need to go out for a while – I'll be back in time for school tomorrow," I added to answer to Esme's unspoken worry that I meant to not return at all.

Somehow, after I had wandered far and wide, even having ventured into Canada in an effort to clear my head... Somehow, I ended up outside Bella's house. With ease, I made it up and through her window. It was nearly dawn, so it was no surprise to find her curled up on her side, peacefully asleep in her bed.

There was no longer any issue in keeping myself restrained from doing her harm, but it did bring me some sort of peace when she was still like this. But it was also impossible to deny the feelings that welled up inside. Both of my mixed emotions of love and yet keeping myself away from her, and then of knowing what she was going through because of our presence in her life. And how much worse that was going to get because of those she called her friends. The one that she loved.

I sat down in the corner I usually watched her from. Despite all the danger and pain, I couldn't bring myself to regret having gotten to know her. My world was full of unpleasant certainties and doubts, but to have known Bella at all, to know this sort of love could exist... it almost made it all worthwhile. Even the concept of Hell couldn't frighten me more than the thought of any harm ever coming to her.

So, how was I to deal with the fact that we were inevitably going to harm her? As easily as Bella had accepted us, had accepted our word that we would not bring her harm, I knew the same courtesy would be extended to the wolves, and readily so. But I could not bring myself to trust them with her safety. And I knew it was a matter of time alone before she was aware of their existence.

I stiffened, but did not leave as Bella mumbled something as she turned over, and her eyes fluttered open. I sat perfectly still until her eyes found me.

She sat up a little, but didn't seem to be surprised. I bit back my frustration yet again at not being able to see into her thoughts.

"Edward?"

"I just have a question for you, Bella... then I'll let you go back to sleep."

"Kay...?" She began to snuggle back down under the covers as she waited.

I couldn't help but smile, but I was quick to wipe it away. "Would you trust me if I ever told you something was dangerous? Trust me when I said that you should stay away?"

Her brow furrowed, and her voice was a little more clear when she spoke this time. "Edward, I won't run away and hide, leave my dad and everyone else here to be in danger from other vampires. I'm staying."

A chuckle actually emerged, "No, stubborn Bella. For once, this has nothing at all to do with vampires. This is just me, as your friend, asking if you trust me that much."

Even through her half-closed eyes I could see her struggle with this one before she finally just gave a nod of her head. "Sure, Edward. But don't think I won't try to figure out the parts you're not telling me once I'm actually awake."

"I would hardly expect anything less." But I could already tell from the sound of her breathing that she'd drifted off again. I rose and walked over to the side of her bed to look down at her. I release a soft breath. "I know you far too well for that..." Then I heard hints of her father beginning to get out of bed, so I turned away and left.


	20. Chapter Nineteen

February 2006

Forks, Washington – Bella

It was ridiculous the amount of time I spent with the Cullens after that day. Every waking moment was either filled with school, dinner with my father, or one or more of the Cullens. Alice was almost always at my side through it all, even in the majority of my classes. Emmett would even sit next to me in classes Alice wasn't in.

Through it all, I was never alone with Edward. And it was impossible to make plans to corner him when Alice could easily see those plans, and through her Edward knew only moments later. My plans went up in smoke almost before I could finish forming them.

So of course there was no finding out what he had meant that night. I was annoyed, but also somewhat relieved to have friends to distract me from the growing despair I felt each time Billy would pick up the phone and say Jake still wasn't well enough for visitors, and after a couple weeks had passed, Billy would simply say that he couldn't come to the phone – and that was when my calls were answered at all. I did my best to hide the growing disappointment and depression from my dad, though that got harder and harder as each day passed.

As Valentine's Day approached, I allowed myself to hope somewhat. Given how Jake was about romantic stuff, surely he wouldn't let the day simply pass by. So when I woke that Tuesday morning, it was with a renewed sense of hope. I got out of bed and ready for school quickly – smiled to see the small heart-shaped box of chocolates my dad had left for me on the counter.

Then I picked up the phone and dialed. I'd let the past couple of days pass without calling in the hope that I'd be more likely to get an answer this time.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Billy!" I tried to keep my voice light, to keep away the hurt and annoyance I felt. "Uhm, can Jake talk?"

"Bella..." There was a sigh, and I couldn't help but think that he was a lot happier over the last couple days when he didn't have to fend off my calls. "No, Jake's still in bed. School starts a little later down here, remember? But I'll tell him that you called, alright?"

That was something, at least. He'd stopped promising that around a week and a half ago. "Okay, thanks. And, uhm... tell him happy Valentine's Day for me, okay?" A little nudge of a reminder. As if any high school kid could ignore the atmosphere it created at school.

"Oh, is it?" Billy seemed bewildered, and I actually laughed a little. "I'll tell him. Have a nice Valentine's Day, Bella."

"You too, Billy." I hung up, and couldn't help but think that there couldn't be much worse situations to be in, and have someone wish you a good Valentine's Day. Because the one I loved was avoiding me like the plague, and Billy had lost the love of his life years ago.

But then there was the honk of a familiar horn outside, and I scooped up my backpack to go outside and meet Alice. I was startled to find that it was Edward behind the wheel. But before I began to hope that I might finally have a chance to question him, I saw Emmett in the passenger seat, and Alice behind him. With a sigh, I walked out to climb in behind Edward.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Bella!" Alice trilled as she threw her arms around me, then thrust a huge box of chocolates into my hands. I gawked at it. "Don't worry, they'll fit into your locker. I measured!" She assured me as Emmett laughed loudly.

"Uhm... thanks, Alice. But I didn't get any of you anything... kind of figured, you know... candy being edible and you guys can't really eat..."

"Oh, don't be silly, Bella! You can thank us by coming to have dinner with us tonight! We've invited your father too, and then Angela and Ben. We might have invited Mike and Jess, but they're going to have a fight today... seems Mike's foolishly forgotten what day it is. Poor boy."

I was still holding out hope that I would hear from Jake, so I said that I would think about it, despite Alice's answering frown. When we reached school, I immediately spotted Mike worrying back and forth, and I got an idea. As I got out of the car, I heard Alice giggle and Edward pulled out his phone. To alert Esme that two more would come to dinner, I was sure.

"Hey, Mike... What's up?" I was hard to act casual when I already knew what was on his mind.

"I'm a total moron! I thought Valentine's Day was always on Thursdays, in a couple days! You know how Jess is, she'll rip my head off!"

"Yikes, uhm... I take it she's not here yet?" As if there would be any avoiding the path of destruction that would be left if she had already arrived and found no gifts waiting.

"No... Her mom usually drops her off about ten minutes before first bell. It's still about twenty minutes before school starts."

"Okay, then... here's what you do." I pushed the huge box into his hands. "If anyone asks, say the Cullens knew of a special place somewhere and you asked them to order them for you, I'm just a delivery girl." I was sure Alice wouldn't have brought chocolates from anywhere around here, and they were likely actually imported. "Give those to her when she gets here. You have English first period, right?" At his dazed nod, I continued on with my plan. "Good, then get out some Shakespeare and copy down some sappy quotes. Enough to drop one in her locker between each class, and make sure they're neat, so it looks planned. And in about five seconds, you'll be invited to dinner at the Cullens'. Come. It'll make the whole special order chocolate thing more believable. Plus, you know it would be impossible to find a decent place at this late notice. But then you can take her somewhere for dessert, so you're not in a big group all night."

On cue, Alice skipped over and invited Mike to bring Jess to dinner. He accepted eagerly, then stared at me. "Wow, I never would have pegged you as a romantic, Bella. How did you come up with all that?"

"Uhm, I'm far from a romantic. Just good in emergencies, I guess... And the idea of Jess on the warpath is a major emergency."

"No kidding! Uhm... don't tell her I said that?"

"Yeah, and while I'm at it, I'll tell her that this was all my idea." I rolled my eyes at him and walked off as he grinned at me.

Alice slung her arm over my shoulder. "Those actually were imported, you know." She sniffed indignantly. "Belgium."

"Oh, Alice, I'm sorry! But, really... Jess is in half my classes. Isn't it a better gift that I won't have to put up with her in a foul mood all day?"

She giggled. "True. Of course, now she's going to be in a sickeningly sweet mood all day..." She gave a theatrical shudder, and I laughed. "Well, all's well that ends well, I suppose. We've got some smaller boxes that we were going to give everyone tonight anyhow. You can have one of those. Good thing we ordered extras."

"Good thing," I muttered in response. "Uhm, Alice... Do you already see me coming to dinner?"

"No. You haven't decided yet." I expected her to frown at me, or pout to get me to decide to come, but she didn't. I suppose she understood my hesitation, and I loved her for it. Even more so since she didn't turn and give me some sad, sympathetic smile. I grabbed her arm and as she turned, I gave her an affectionate hug. "Oh!" She actually seemed surprised, but returned the hug. "What's that for, Bella?"

"For being my best friend. And being around so much to distract me the past few weeks."

For just a moment, it seemed as if a look of guilt crossed her face. But in the next moment, it was gone and she was all smiles. "Of course! That's what friends are for, after all!" She hugged me again before we headed inside to avoid the light drizzle that had begun.

I spent most the day doing my best to avoid thoughts of Jake, which was hard, considering I couldn't help but hope the romantic in Jake would win out, and he at the very least would call.

I managed to make it through the day, even with Jess taking every opportunity to gush about how wonderful Mike was to anyone who was unlucky enough to be next to her. When the Cullens dropped me off, I rushed inside. As usual, I'd finished all of my homework at school, so I went straight up to shower, though I left the bathroom door open so I would be able to hear the phone ring. When I got out, I went to my room to choose something to wear.

As promised, I had been slowly integrating some of the new things into my wardrobe. Tonight, I pulled out a dark blue dress with matching flats and slipped into them, and set out a black shawl. I simply braided my hair, not wanting to look too done-up or expectant of something more than dinner with a group of friends. Then I went to sit downstairs to wait.

It was the first time I'd been completely alone for so long that it felt awkward at first. Then as minutes passed without a sound from the phone, the awkwardness grew slowly less in comparison to the pain, and I clutched at my chest as I tried desperately to fight it off. To keep myself from falling apart, since it would not be long before my dad was home.

When he walked through the front door, he took one look at me and sighed. "Billy called me at work. Said they were having dinner down at the Clearwaters'."

"Oh..." I replied softly.

He swept a hand back through his hair. "Uhm, well... I should hop in the shower, if we're having dinner with the Cullens tonight. We could stay in, if you want..."

"No, no... it's alright, Dad. You know Alice would throw a fit if she knew I didn't come just because I wanted to stay at home."

"Well...Let me know if you change your mind." Then he headed up the stairs to shower and get ready.

And I sat there and tried to hold myself together. So focused I was in this task that I felt like I about jumped out of my skin at the ringing of the phone. I drew in a deep breath to calm myself. Probably just Alice.  
"Hello?"

"Bells?" The familiar, husky voice sent a thrill down my spine. But I couldn't help but notice that it sounded tired, more ragged than I had ever heard it before.

"Jake! Oh my God, it's good to hear your voice! Are you okay? You sound tired..."

"No... yeah... I'm exhausted. Not sure about the okay part."

"What's wrong?"

"I can't -" He sighed. "There's a lot to explain, and I can't even say a good deal of it. Could I come see you tonight?"

"Yeah, of course! Uhm... Me and my dad are going to a Valentine's Day dinner with the Cullens and some other kids from school. But we should be back pretty early, since we have school tomorrow."

"The Cullens?" There was a sudden malice in his voice that both surprised and scared me.

"Yeah... Are you alright, Jake?"

There was a few slow, steadying breaths on the other end, and I waited patiently for his response. "Not really. I'll see you later, Bella. Stay safe."

I opened my mouth to respond, but I already heard the dial tone. Slowly, I replaced the phone on its cradle. Confusion swirled around my thoughts, but soon paled in comparison to my excitement. After weeks of not hearing from Jake at all, I would be able to see him in just a few hour's time.

Edward

Alice had been flitting about, preparing for her party since the moment we got home. Her excitement seemed contagious – Esme had happily taken charge of cooking up an extravagant feast, Carlisle at her side once he got home from the hospital, Emmett pitched in by helping Alice decorate by moving furniture where she dictated, Jasper and Rosalie had gone for a visit with the Denali clan as cover for the story that they were off at college, and I had been put in charge of selecting music. I was in the middle of mentally selecting songs – disregarding most as being too romantic for a setting of friends , or being too far out of contemporary tastes. Occasionally, I would select a CD and add it to a small pile.

But then there was the sudden sound of silence when I'd been hearing the steady movements of Emmett lifting and moving furniture, Carlisle and Esme cooking in the kitchen and Alice's soft voice directing everyone as she hung colorful decorations. I flew down the stairs.

"Alice?"

"Bella... I can't see her anymore beyond dinner tonight."

"Jacob must have called her..." I clenched my jaw.

"So... what do we do? She's not very likely to listen to us, or to tell him not to come." Emmett lowered the sofa he held over his head down to the floor.

"Hardly," I mumbled.

"I don't think there's much that we can do," Esme spoke up, hesitant but consoling in her words. "We cannot force Bella not to see Jake. Much as we all have tried to distract her these past weeks, it's impossible to ignore how upset she's been."

"She said that she would trust me if I ever told her that something was dangerous."

"Yes, but I doubt that she would think of Jake himself as dangerous... and by the treaty, we cannot tell anyone what they are."

"I know, Carlisle," I sighed.

"They kind of already violated that. Jake told Bella about the 'Cold Ones'," Emmett pointed out, obviously still miffed at this fact.

"He didn't do it knowingly, son. To him, it was just a story his people passed down on the reservation."

"So we enforce the treaty. We're living here again, Forks is designated as our land. They're not supposed to come onto it while we're here."

"But what stops her from going to La Push to see him?" Alice asked, a frown on her lips.

"I can't imagine the wolves would welcome outsiders to the knowledge of their existence any more than our kind does."

Alice bit her lip at my suggestion as Esme moved to pull something from the oven, called by the smell, able to tell it was done.

"Son, if we become the ones to hold her back from Jake, form her other friends on the reservation, we'll become the ones she hates. Outside of Alice, most of our friendships are tenuous at best."

"No... she adores both you and Esme, she likes Jasper and Emmett, and I think she's really come to trust all of us."

"How long do you think that will last if we become the barrier between her and the friends she's known all her life?" Alice reached out to touch my arm as I glared at her. Not out of any real anger toward her, but out of frustration at not being able to find any holes in her logic. She took my silence as the begrudging acceptance that it was, and continued. "I don't like it any more than you do. But the best thing we can do now is allow them to meet tonight, and trust that Jake himself will lead her to find the answer of what he's become."

"He's young yet, especially to this new form. Chances are that he doesn't even trust his own ability to keep himself from harming Bella. Especially if we're right about what happened to Emily. I'm sure that will weigh heavily on his mind, as much as your own fear of losing control once did for you, Edward."

Silence followed Carlisle's statement as my family looked for my response to the matter, as always. My love for her made her mine to protect more than all their friendship. But my time to deliberate was cut short by the sound of a car turning into the bottom of our driveway, so I spoke quickly.

"Alice, you go tonight to keep an eye on things. Keep enough distance so hopefully he won't sense you, but close enough so you can step in if you sense trouble. Bella trusts you the most, I think, and would more readily forgive your presence if you're discovered. I should be able to still see your thoughts at that distance, and we can come if help is needed."

"Alright, but don't rush in too rashly, or else we'll become the bad ones in an instant."

I nodded in agreement as she flew up the stairs to make a hurried change, and I followed to claim the stack of CDs and set them into their positions in the disc changer as Emmett and Carlisle finished setting the table and Esme dished all her creations out into bowls and onto serving platters. Alice came down at a very human-like pace, just as the doorbell rang.

Bella

As we walked in, I was overwhelmed at the sight and smell of food, and the light floral scent in the background of roses and lavender. As I hugged Alice, I knew right away who to compliment for each little touch of perfection, and went straight to help Esme bring the food out to the table as the sound of two more vehicles coming to a stop outside heralded the arrival of the last four dinner guests.

I was in a wonderful mood at the prospect of seeing Jake again in just a few hours' time – not even the sickening way Jess behaved with Mike could dim my good humor. And I couldn't help but notice that everything Esme had prepared was in small, light courses. Something she laughingly explained away as something to allow for a decadent dessert and all the inevitable chocolate. But I knew that it all made it simpler for the Cullens to make their food disappear without having to eat it.

It was actually a rather pleasant experience. I loved spending time out of school with Angela and Ben, and the Cullens; Jess and Mike kept pretty much to themselves before they slipped politely away as I had suggest to Mike earlier, and my dad even seemed to enjoy talking with Esme and Carlisle. And Esme hadn't been lying about the decadent dessert. Each plate that she and Carlisle set out was a little work of art that I know would have taken a human a great deal of time to shape and concoct, while for Esme it would have been a chore just to wait for the oven to finish. Upon each little porcelain plate was a slice of chocolate cake, drizzled with warm, liquid dark chocolate while the edge of the plate was rimmed with small dollops of fresh, whipped cream and slivers of strawberries cut to the shape of hearts.

There were many compliments before everyone lost themselves in the dessert. Because of the richness and inherently messy nature, we ate slow. But still, Ben and my dad both ended up with chocolate on their shirts, and I only narrowly escaped ruining the dress I wore, and Angela ended up blushing as Ben pointed out she'd gotten whipped cream on her upper lip. The Cullens remained pristine, of course, but we were all able to laugh it away and enjoy ourselves. I even snapped a few photos of everyone – especially shots of Angela and Ben together, and of Carlisle and Esme. Next to Jasper and Alice, I felt most inspired by the love between the two of them.

But I was grateful when Angela pointed out the hour, and my dad took care of insisting that everyone head home, after our offers to help clean up were brushed off. Having humans help would probably slow them down, if they decided they wanted to get it out of the way. So we said our farewells and left.

On the way home, I turned to my dad. "Hey, Dad? Uhm... Jake called me earlier..."

"Oh? Well, that explained the suddenly improved mood."

I blushed. "Yeah. Uhm... I know it's late and all, but... would it be okay if he came by for a little while later?" I bit my lip as I waited for his response.

He sighed. "It's late, Bells..."

"I know. I promise we won't stay up too late. Just... he's finally talking to me again..."

"Yeah... It'll probably eat at you all night and at school tomorrow if he doesn't tell you what's been going on, huh?"

I ducked my head. "Something like that..."

"Well... not too late, huh, Bells? And stay downstairs? And all that... fatherly stuff I already know that I don't have to say but I feel compelled to anyway..."

I blushed but laughed anyway. "Yeah. Thanks, Dad. And I'll make sure he's not over long. He sounded exhausted earlier anyway."

When we got home, I went upstairs and exchanged my shawl for a jacket and grabbed the quilt off my bed. I went down to wait for him on the porch, and wrapped myself tightly in the quilt as I waited and gazed up at the surprisingly clear night sky.


	21. Chapter Twenty

February 2006

Forks, Washington – Bella

I'm not sure how long I waited for him, or at what point I dozed off. I only knew that when I began to wake up, I was somewhere a lot more comfortable, but a lot hotter hat it had been outside on the porch. Like I was curled up against my own personal sun.

Still half-asleep, I smiled and reached out to touch him, and found the bare skin of his chest. That confused me, given how cold it was outside, but I didn't ask. Didn't open my eyes, and only spoke in whispers.

"When did you get here?"

"Couple hours ago... I didn't want to wake you, but I didn't want to leave, either..."

"I'm so comfy..." I mumbled, and snuggled in closer to him.

"Because you're in bed."

My brow furrowed. "You carried me upstairs?"

"Yeah... Bella? Why aren't you opening your eyes?"

"I don't wanna..." I knew I sounded like a petulant child, but I didn't care.

There was amusement in his voice. "Why's that?"

"Because when a dream starts telling you to open your eyes, they disappear when you actually listen to them..."

He chuckled. "Bells..." And suddenly, his lips were on mine and I responded, uncurling as I slipped the hand that had reached out to him around his back.

I was suddenly awake and very much alive, and to realize that he was actually here with me made me draw in a sharp breath as tears started to slip down my cheeks. My eyes popped open so that I could look at him. I pulled away. "You cut your hair!" I exclaimed as loudly as I dared. But I almost forgot about it when his eyes opened to meet with mine, and fresh tears threatened.

"Why're you crying?"

"You're here..."

"I don't want to make you cry, Bells..."

"They're happy tears, Jake..." I sniffled somewhat as I reluctantly pulled away in order to sit up. "And don't think that gets you out of explaining -" I was about to mention his hair, but I was suddenly very aware of how much he had changed over the past few weeks. His shoulders were broader, his chest and stomach toned in a way that should have taken months of hard training to achieve. As he moved, I could almost see the tight muscles as they shifted under his skin. He sat up with me. Had he gotten even taller? "... Wow, Jake..."

He looked down, clearly embarrassed. "I know... Scary, right?"

"No! Well... I mean... It is that it seems to have happened so fast... And it's... different. Not bad!" I insisted, as he had begun to look more upset. "It's just a lot to take in. I mean, the last time I saw you, you were still a lanky teenage boy who looked like he was hitting this awkward growth spurt. But now... you look like you're in your twenties or something."

"Yeah... it's part of-" he cut off abruptly, and he screwed up his features in annoyance.

"Of... why you've been avoiding me?"

A pained look crossed his face. "Yes... I'm so sorry, Bella. I never meant to hurt you. And I don't want to ever again, but I shouldn't even be here now... It's too dangerous."

My brow furrowed. "Why is it dangerous, Jake?" From the tone of his voice, I knew it wasn't something as simple as my dad waking up and finding us.

"I might hurt you..." His words came out a low whisper, and he bowed his head, as if ashamed.

"No, Jake... Why would you think that? What's going on?" I reached out to touch his face.

"I can't... literally can't... tell you..." He looked up at me pleadingly. "It's not my secret to tell... But I don't want to lose you because of it."

Panic rose in my chest. "Don't even think that. Uhm... clues, can you give me clues?"

His face suddenly relaxed somewhat. "I think so... Do you remember the first night you stayed over because of how late it got?"

I smiled at the thought, and reached to wrap my index finger around his. "Yeah..."

"You had the nightmare, so I told you -" He cut off again, and looked at me pleadingly.

"Told me... One of the Quileute legends, right?" He nodded at me gratefully. "Because the thing in my nightmare sounded like the Cold Ones in your story, but you gave me the bracelet that kept it away..." I tenderly touched the worn bracelet. I still never took it off.

"Right..." He scowled and got up from the bed. "Do you remember anything else?"

I bit my lip as I tried to pull the rest of the memory into clearer focus. The part about the Cold Ones was clearer because it was a big part of my daily life now. "Uhm... That they were the enemies of your tribe, because you... you descended from..." My mouth popped open as I lifted my gaze to stare up at him.

"Say it... Please, say it, Bella. I don't think I can unless you do first... That is, if you don't want me to leave and never see you again..."

"Wolves... werewolves."

"Yeah, that's what Sam's 'gang' was about. Helping us to handle the transformation," he explained, then his eyes widened in surprise to realize he could say it.

"So... you... you're a werewolf?"

"Yeah..." He eyed me warily. "But don't worry... we can't attack your little friends unless they break the treaty."

"Treaty?"

"Yeah... We keep the secret as long as they stay off our land and don't bite anyone." I just continued to stare up at him until he gave a sad sigh. "You're scared. I understand... Though how that's fair when you spend so much time with those leeches..." He began to shake somewhat, before he drew in a few, long breaths. "I'll go..." He turned to my window.

But I jumped up to throw my arms around his waist, to keep him from going. "Oh, Jake! I'm not scared **of** you... I'm scared **for** you... This seems like it's tearing you apart... not to mention how dangerous it must be just to be a huge w-" I cut off with a gasp. "The bear sightings! Oh, Jake, they're out hunting you!"

He actually laughed a little. "We're safe, Bella. We're built to kill vampires, you think we can't avoid a few noisy humans with guns?"

"Then... Emily?"

He slumped a little. "That was Sam... He lost control for just a second, and Emily was standing too close... That's why it's so dangerous for me to be around you, Bella... When we're this new to it, our emotions can make us transform without us meaning to."

"I trust you, Jake," I insisted firmly as I reached up to touch his shoulder and moved around to face him. "And I don't care how dangerous you think it is, I won't lose you again."

"Bella..." He reached out to cup my cheek in one of his hands, and I was once again reminded of how much he had grown.

He leaned in to kiss me, and I returned it for a few long moments before I pulled away. "We'll talk more tomorrow... It's really late, and we have school."

He grinned at me, but agreed as he leaned over to kiss me again before he slid my window open quietly. "Jake! Use the door! You'll hurt yourself!"

He scoffed at me as he slipped out the window, and I dashed over to look out as I bit back a scream. But he landed easily on his feet in a low crouch before he stood back up. He turned and gave me a little wave as I scowled at him. But I waved back before I shut the window and went back to bed.

My thoughts were swimming with all this new information, so loudly that I doubted that I would ever get back to sleep. But when I got under the covers, I immediately found the spot that was still warm from when he had been there. I curled up in it, and was soon fast asleep.


	22. Chapter Twenty One

**Author's Note** Hey guys! Sorry it's taken so long to start getting chapters back up again. Life's been crazy with job-hunting, lost a computer, and the thumb drive I was keeping chapters on managed to break **after** I'd gotten all my written chapters all typed up. So, here we go again! I hope to get back to getting you a chapter a week! 3 Anyhow, here's the next chapter!

February 2006

Forks, Washington – Bella

If there was such a place as Cloud Nine, I think I was about as close to it as a girl caught up in a world of mythological monsters could be. I knew that the Cullens had noticed my sudden good mood if my dad had at dinner last night. None of them said a word to me about it though, so I could only assume that they had figured it out on their own.

But I didn't care. Couldn't care, in comparison to what I had just regained in my life. My best friend and the one I loved. So when the final bell rang, I bolted out of my seat. Jake had called that morning and suggested we confront the others head-on about the fact that I was now in on their secret. Nervousness sped through my body with each step I took, but I knew I wouldn't let him face it on his own.

"Bella!" Alice nearly yelled my name as she grabbed my arm, and I suddenly realized that we had been joined by both Edward and Emmett. As I looked up, I expected them look amused at the high level of distraction that I had been exhibiting, but was surprised to find them frowning, eyes shining with disapproval.

"Uhm... yeah?" I stopped in order to face the questions I felt sure were coming."

"Bella, I can't see your entire afternoon. It disappeared this morning. Mind explaining why?"

"I have no idea, Alice... I made plans to see Jake day. He should actually be here to pick me up soon."

Alice flickered her gaze toward Edward, who sighed and frowned.

"Do you remember when I asked if you would trust me if I told you something was dangerous?"

"Yeah...? I hedged slowly, unsure of where it was that he was trying to lead.

He didn't look happy at having to state his point so plainly. "Trust me now, Bella. Jacob Black and his... friends are dangerous."

I stared up at him, but bit back the anger I could tell was creeping around the edges of my thoughts. "He tried to tell me the same thing last night, actually."

"Good. He still has some sense in his head."

I scowled up at him. "Tell me again why it is that you up-rooted your entire family? Oh, right, it was to protect me from you and your kind, right?" I rolled my eyes.

"It's not the same, Bella! We're different from the rest of our kind."

"And why can't the La Push wolves be different?" I had no real fear of being overheard, as we had remained inside and in their eagerness to escape school, all the students had rushed outside.

"It's taken us decades to learn this kind of control, Bella... And even then it is not perfect. None of us but Carlisle can stand to be around blood even now. The La Push pack is all very young wolves... I don't think even the eldest has been a wolf for two years yet."

"There's a difference, though," I was mainly addressing Edward, but my gaze flickered toward Alice and Emmett as well. "I'm not their natural prey. You guys are. Me being around them is not going to be this huge temptation against their nature."

"Their emotion makes them uncontrollable, unpredictable."

I couldn't help but stare in disbelief as these words came from Emmett, of all people.

"Hey!" He threw his hands up defensively. "I'm not that bad..."

I rolled my eyes.

"Bella," Edward began flatly, "we can't protect you there."

"We can."

I spun around to face the familiar voice, smiled as I saw Jake just inside the door, and went over to him. I was not eager to fan the flames of whatever feud existed, but I wasn't about to give up Jake or my La Push friends.

"It's you we're trying to protect her from, dog." Alice narrowed her eyes at him.

Jake growled, and I could see him begin to shake. My hand shot out to grab his arm. "Jake, don't."

He glanced back at me before he nodded. "Right. I'll be outside, the stench in here is horrible." He glared over at the Cullens. "See you in a minute, Bella." And he walked back out.

I looked to them with pleading eyes. "Please don't make me have to choose between you... because it'll be Jake. It always has been Jake." I bit my lip before I turned and dashed out the doors.

It felt wrong, to see two groups of my friends could obviously hate each other so passionately. I'd known almost everyone down at La Push nearly all my life, but the Cullens has become such a part of my life in the past couple of years that I couldn't imagine life without them. There had to be something that I could do to keep myself from being torn between them.

But that would have to come later. 'Play nice with your natural enemy' was not something that should be brought up on the first meeting.

"Do they know that I'm coming with you to this little meeting?" I shook somewhat, and tried to gain control by clasping my hands together.

He glanced at me briefly. "Yeah. We'd normally meet as wolves. Communication is a lot faster. Plus, Paul has a super short fuse, so..."

"Yeah. Say nothing stupid."

He chuckled and patted my hands. "We're not that bad, Bells. Just... they already know you're friends with the Cullens, and we're not supposed to tell anyone about us. At all. That's why I literally couldn't tell you. Sam's the Alpha of our pack, and the Alpha's orders have to be obeyed."

I let out a slow breath, and tried to ignore the fact that we were over halfway there. "So... they pretty much are going to hate me from the beginning."

"Nah. You know Embry. The only things he hates are vampires. Jared... he's pretty calm. He was the third of us to change, he's pretty easy-going. And Same is serious about who we are and what we do, but he's more familiar with the fact that everything can't be black and white. That there's a lot of gray area that has to be dealt with on a case-by-case basis. Paul... well, you met him a couple of times before all this. He has a quick temper. Sam usually keeps him in line, but..."

I released a slow breath. "Yeah..."

"Don't worry," he said with a grin that was somehow suddenly playful and undeniably wolfish. "I'm bigger and faster."

I was sure I turned a few different shades of green at that thought. "That's so not funny, Jake..."

But he just laughed as we pulled up in front of a house, and I was suddenly and individually greeted by the sight of four large, shirtless boys.

Sam came out first, his face serious, but I could tell his expression was not entirely unwelcoming. The second to come out was a boy I vaguely recognized to be Paul, who did not look at all pleased by my presence, from the glare he steadied on me. Third and fourth were a boy I guessed to be Jared, and then Embry – both of whom looked far more laid back and at ease with the situation than Sam or Paul. Embry even came over to hug me when I got out of the car, which resulted in a playful shoving match with Jake.

"How can you be so calm about this?" Paul growled out fiercely. "She hangs out with the blood-suckers, and we're just supposed to welcome her?"

"Dude, calm down!" Jared said with a laugh.

Paul shook a little. Sam's hand immediately shot out to hold him back. Jake and Embry stopped goofing off as Jake moved to stand protectively in front of me. Embry even took a couple of steps backwards to stay close to me.

"Paul! That's enough!" I could hear Sam's voice command.

"Yeah... you heard what Jake said anyhow. She figured it out for herself."

Paul just growled again at Jared's words. And Jake shook a little in response, his hands tightening into fists at his sides.

"Hey!" A feminine voice called from within the house. "I know you two aren't thinking about starting a fight in my yard and messing it up!" A girl stepped out and leveled her gaze between Jake and Paul. "Right?"

Jake made no response, since he was only responding to Paul, who drew in a few breaths. "I'll go for a walk," he managed. Then he turned and stalked off toward the woods.

Jake only eased up once Paul had disappeared beyond the line of trees, and I was allowed a better view of the girl who had managed to stop the fight.

I didn't recognize her, but I knew her right away. The three scars that ran down one side of her face turned down the corner of her eye and mouth. I could tell that she had once been quite beautiful, and was once again in the way she gazed up at Same as he stepped up onto the porch to stand beside her. I blushed at the obvious love between the two of them, and ducked my head.

"Uhm... Bella, this is Emily... Sam's fiancee."

I glanced up again at Jake's introduction, a little startled at the 'fiancee' part, but I smiled and nodded my head in greeting. "Hello."

She smiled kindly and nodded in return. "Bella. Welcome.. it will be nice to have another girl around to help balance out all this testosterone." She gave Same a playful shove and laughed.

"I don't know, Em... this girl can kick some serious butt at football. She's not that girly."

I reached out and shoved Embry, though he wasn't even budged by my effort. "Maybe I'm just not as girly as you are, Embry."

Jared and Jake both laughed, and Emily giggled as she waved us all inside. "Come on. I've almost got lunch finished."

I reached out to grab Jake's hand, and he didn't question me as everyone else filed inside.

"I know... it's weird."

"A little... Leah's my friend, Jake... But I can't ignore what's between Sam and Emily, even with the few seconds I've seen them together."

"Sam couldn't help it... It still torments him to think about Leah... he still does love her."

My brow furrowed. "I don't understand."

"I'll explain later... they'll wonder why we're not going in."

He led the way inside, and for a while, everything was so chaotic that all other thoughts were swept from my mind. I joined Emily at the counter as we watched the boys dig into the pile of sandwiches. I glanced over at Emily, and couldn't help but smile at the way she watched all of them, watched Sam.

Finally, she looked to me. "So, Bella... Did your... friends give you any trouble about coming here today?"

"Uhm... a little," I admitted, with some hesitation.

"They seem to think that we're some great threat to her or something," Jake pointed out with a short laugh.

Sam scowled, pain showing in his face. "Being around us is not without its dangers, Jake."

The room was silent for a few moments before Jared finally spoke up. "Well, we still can't be as dangerous as hanging around a whole clan of vampires."

"Too bad they didn't stay gone when they left before," Embry mumbled as he stared down a half-eaten sandwich.

"Sorry," I muttered, and all attention shifted to me, curious. "They came back to protect me," I admitted, my head down. "And don't think too badly of them... they realized that they might be a danger to me, that's why they had left."

"They believe they're a threat and then come back? Do they think that we're that much trouble?" Jake asked incredulously. "Sorry, Sam, but we can't compare to something whose natural prey is humans."

Sam gave a small nod, but still had his attention focused on me. "No, I think Bella means something besides us."

Jake's brow furrowed. "Bells?"

I swallowed a few times before I managed to answer. "There's this other clan of vampires... a far bigger clan than the Cullens... Like royalty, I guess. But, they uphold the law."

There was a bark of laughter from near the doorway. "Vampires have laws?"

Sam got up in order to let Paul sit at the small table to eat, and stood next to Emily. "Be quiet, Paul. I think this is important... Bella?"

I drew in a deep breath. "Not many," I admitted, continuing. "But one they're most strict about is that outsiders can't know about the existence of their kind. If they found out that I knew..." I didn't have to finish speaking. Everyone in the room tensed as I shuddered.

"But they came back. Wouldn't that just make it easier for them to figure out that someone here knows?"

"I don't think so, Jared... I don't think there's many vampire clans that settle in one place. I suppose they can't, without the risk of being noticed. The Cullens can because they don't hunt humans. And from what they told me, the Volturi tend to keep their eyes on things, especially large clans. I think they'd be more likely to investigate if they found out that a whole family of vampires just picked up and moved one day and never came back. They'd want to know why."

"Is that everything, Bella? They just feel as if they have to protect you from these... Volturi finding out that you know their kind exists?"

I winced at Sam's question, but shook my head. "No... Alice has these... visions. She can see the future." I looked up as the boys glanced at one another.

"I thought vampires having special powers was just a myth," Embry wondered out loud.

"You're a werewolf talking about vampires, Embry. Do you really think it's possible a lot of the myths aren't true?" There was some tense laughter as I pointed this out.

"So, what sorts of powers do the other leeches have?" Paul finally spoke again as he finished off the last of the sandwiches.

"Well, not all of them have special powers, really. It's rare, I think... Alice can see the future based on people's decisions at the time, Jasper can sense and control emotions, and Edward... can read minds."

I glanced to Jake, he had been rather quiet. But I was drawn back to the others by Jared speaking up again. "So... she seen anything about us lately?"

"Actually..." My brow creased in thought. "I'm not sure she can see you. Every time I make plans involving any of the wolves, she says my future disappears. Like this morning, when I decided to come see you guys. I think you and anything or anyone in your path is one big blank spot for her."

"Sweet," Paul said with a smirk.

"And... they probably don't want you guys to know this, but... Alice has seen that some other vampires are going to come to Forks some time this spring. Just a small clan, not the Volturi."

There was obvious tension in the room at that statement.

"Damn it. And they'll probably stay off our land, where we can't touch them," Paul growled.

"Cut it out, Paul. We're Protectors, remember? We protect people. If they do cross our land, we'll take care of it. I doubt the Cullens would allow them to harm anyone in Forks." Sam looked to me, and I nodded my head in fierce agreement. "If there were more of us, we could make plans to pursue them outside of Forks. But five of us might just be enough o take down a small clan, but we can't leave our land unprotected. Got it?" There were slow nods all around. "Alright. Let's get out of here, then. Jared, it's your turn to patrol."

Everyone got up and sort of went their own way. Sam and Emily stayed inside while everyone else left.

I glanced over at Jake as we pulled away. "Patrol?"

"Just a precaution. We divide it up between us, we take eight hour shifts... We end up with a couple days off a week."

"Oh... uh... earlier? You said you would explain the thing with Emily and Sam?"

Jake nodded, but didn't really say anything as he drove. I realized that we were headed down toward the beach, so I didn't say anything, as I figured he didn't want to talk about something like that while driving.

When we arrived, we got out and Jake reached immediately for my hand. It was still winter, so there was no one on the beach, and I was kept warm by Jake's own natural warmth. We walked until we came to a fallen tree, and we sat down. I got as close to Jake as I possibly could, and looked out at the water as I waited.

"It's called imprinting. It's actually rare, but it's like..." He sighed. "I can only describe this from what I've seen of Sam's thoughts. But it's like... nothing else matters but her. You would do or be anything that she could ever need or want. We have no control over who we imprint on or when it happens. Believe me, it torments Sam to know what he's done to Leah... he still loves her, in a way. But his whole world revolves around Emily."

"Wow... Poor Leah..."

"Yeah... but she'll probably find someone else, don't you think? I mean, eventually..."

"I hope so," I said with a faint smile. "Hey, Jake? … You don't think you'll ever... you know... imprint? On someone else... do you?"

"No!" Jake pulled me in closer against him, as if the thought of it alone terrified him. "No, Bells, never... I've seen the way Sam thinks about Emily, and I can't imagine that the way I think about you is any different."

"Okay," I smiled softly before I laughed a little. "Or maybe you already have... did your dad ever tell you about me coming over before you were born?"

He shook his head. "He doesn't talk about my mom a lot..."

"I'm sorry..." I bit my lip, and only continued when I got a small nudge from him to do so. "Well... your parents used to baby-sit me at night, when my dad worked. One night, I had trouble sleeping, so your mom let me come lie down with her. And you started kicking away. And then every night, when it was time for me to get there, you'd just start kicking." I laughed as he stared at me. "Then after you were born, I started calling you 'my Jacob'... Sue and Harry started to baby-sit me, but you wouldn't sleep at night. When I started to come over again, you did... Your parents were convinced we had some sort of spiritual connection or something. I think they might have even convinced my dad of it. He's so serious when he talks to me about it..."

"Wow..."

"Yeah," I laughed. "Imprinting from the womb. Guess it makes sense, given how drawn to each other we've always been. How I've always felt safe around you, or like I had to protect you, when you were still little."

"I don't think we can imprint on someone unless we've actually become wolves, Bella," he said with a laugh. "But maybe it could be something different, just as strong..."

"Maybe..." And then I couldn't stop the sudden, odd flow of visions that assailed me. What if I'd left with my mom when she had left Forks when I was little? I wouldn't have been here to while Sarah was pregnant. Would that have changed things with me and Jake? Would I even have ever come to Forks? I remembered my mom had locked up the house and traveled with Phil for a while. I suppose I might have come then.

All those years with Jake... virtually lost. I would have seen him only a couple times, barely known him until a little over a year ago. Would I have felt the same about him?

The memory of Edward's confession, his kiss washed over me. And I saw myself in love with him. Wanting to be a part of his world, a part of his eternal life. But he was so protective of my humanity, even now. Who would have won, in that little power struggle?

I saw myself on the other side of this feud between the wolves and the Cullens. I didn't doubt that I would feel the same way about that, at least. I hated the feud, and I would do my best to try and see it ended. But if I succeeded in becoming like the Cullens... what would Jake have thought of me then?

What would he think now, if Alice's vision did turn to real life.

I gasped suddenly for air, and clung tightly to Jake. Why did I constantly have to face the possibility of a future without him? When would events just leave us alone, just let us be together without threat of being torn apart?

"Bells? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Jake's voice suddenly broke through my clouded thoughts.

I drew in a few breaths, sharp at first from the lingering panic that weighed heavily on my chest, and then a few more in order to calm down. "Jake... remember those favors that you're not allowed to refuse?"

His brow knit together in confusion. "Yeah?"

"Promise that you won't ever stop loving me... no matter what happens?"

"Bella... You don't have to ask for that. I'd promise that a thousand times a day, as many times as you needed me to, until you believed me..." I could hear the pain in his voice as he spoke.

"I believe you, Jake, I do. But if things change..."

"What things, Bella?" He reached up to cup my face in his hands, to make me look up at him. "Is this about what you didn't mention earlier? I felt like there was something more the Cullens were claiming to protect you from... the Volturi thing is just too vague. But I just didn't want to make you bring it up in front of others, if you were uncomfortable. But if it's bothering you this much..."

"No! Jake, you can't tell them. It's hard enough to think of gaining their trust as an outsider..."

"Bella... what has you so scared? I mean, it's not as if you're going to turn into..." His widened as he looked at me, and realization and panic flooded his features all at once. He began to shake a little, and clenched his eyes shut in an effort to regain control. "Bella... I swear, if they hurt you... the treaty's off... I will personally hunt down each -"

"Jake! Jake! Calm down. The Cullens are trying to protect me from it, I swear!"

He pulled in a few long breaths. "But they do think you... at some point...?"

I gave a slight nod of my head, and trembled even as he pulled me into his arms. "Alice has seen it in her visions... Not who does it, or when... She's just seen me as one of them. Someone's decision leads to that result, but she can't see it happening, so it's not someone she knows." I pulled away enough to be able to look at him fully. "But they've all decided to do all they can to stop it from happening, since they know it's something I don't want... They don't like the idea of it happening to someone who has a choice in the matter." He nodded, but only continued to hold onto me. "Jake... Will the others be able to, you know, read your thoughts about this?"

"Only if we're transformed at the same time... Which is rare. We usually only do it for meetings, but there's not much to meet about most times."

I gave a small nod. "I don't know why I'm so afraid of them finding out... I guess it makes it seem more... real."

"It's not real. Not now, and it won't ever be. I don't care if we have to hunt down every last vampire in the whole world, Bella."

"Jake... I couldn't ask you and especially not any of the others to do anything near that drastic."

He cupped my face in his hands again in order to lean down and kiss me possessively. "You're my girl, Bella. That makes you part of the family... and what good are we, if we can't protect family?"

"Jake..." I protested softly.

"I'm not just saying it, any of the guys would fight for Emily, because she's Sam's. They'd do the same for you."

"But what if it can't be helped, no matter what you or the pack, or the Cullens try to do to protect me? Do you think that you would still be able to love me then, Jake?"

His brow furrowed as he stared down at me, and I knew he was fighting against the urge to argue the possibility of it. Finally, a sigh escaped him. "I swear I won't let it happen to you, Bella. Not while I still live and breathe. But... I can't picture myself feeling any other way about you, even if you didn't smell as good as you do now. Just might have to work on the kissing part a little," he joked feebly.

I smiled up at him. "Thank you, Jake... Now... Can we get somewhere warmer? Not that I mind being this close to you, but it does make it a little hard to concentrate."

He laughed a little and got up before he helped me to my feet and drove me home. He stayed for dinner, and then sneaked back once my dad had gone to bed, and we spent the night talking. Mainly about the new life he'd been thrust into, a little about school and my upcoming graduation. Anything but vampires.


	23. Chapter Twenty Two

Author's Note: Sorry this one is a day late, guys. It's a good bit longer than most the chapters I put up. Also, my beta is unavailable right now, so if anyone notices anything wrong, be sure to let me know!

April 2006

La Push, Washington – Bella

"Oh, come on, Jake. You promised to try and be better about my friendship with the Cullens, remember? You all did... Besides, it's not like I'm losing time with you, you'll be out patrolling."

Jake mumbled something under his breath that sounded like disagreement, but I could tell that he was about to relent.

"I'm just going to watch them play baseball. No big deal. Besides, they said they'd let you know if there was trouble, and I'm going to get a lecture from one or both my parents if I spend my whole spring break with you." Mom was already put off enough that I hadn't wanted to spend it with her in Jacksonville.

"Fine... but if there is trouble and they don't tell me, there will be hell to pay."

I smiled and gave a nod of my head. It hardly sounded like either side ever trusted the other, but at least no one tried to make me stay away from the other side. Which was good, because the thought of seeing the Cullens acting freely with their real strength and speed at a game intrigued me. It would definitely be fun. Besides, I hardly saw them outside of school since Jake and my La Push friends were back in my life.

But I tried to change the subject then, to keep him from having to think about me spending almost a whole day out with the Cullens. "So, Quil seemed pretty excited about finally getting to be with you guys again."

"Yeah. He was ecstatic. I actually kind of missed him, but it seems like he doesn't take any of this too seriously. I mean, he does take the protection of the rez seriously, but transforming... it doesn't seem to bother him... at all."

"Well... That can't be too bad, can it? If he's in a good mood, he won't lose his temper. And he isn't miserable."

"Yeah... I guess I'm just stressing about it because Sam's pretty weirded out right now. Everyone is."

"What, over Quil?"

"No..." Jake sighed and got up from where he had been seated beside me on what had become 'our log' to sit and talk in. "Leah... Harry told the council a couple days ago that she's come down with the fever. He had Sue take Seth off on some trip to see some relatives so he would be safe from it. Sam's been pretty much camped out outside the Clearwater placed ever since. He wants to be there for her... But he's not sure how she'll take it, given their past."

"Forget their past, Jake! If Sam's always thinking about Emily, can you imagine what it would be like for Leah to have those thoughts in her head?"

"Wow, no kidding. I'll make sure to mention it later... Hopefully Sam will be able to control it somewhat. Shouldn't be too bad. We've been doubling up on our patrols since spring started, but it shouldn't be too hard to keep the time they're both wolves down to a minimum."

I chewed on my lower lip. "I hope she'll be okay. It seems terrifying enough to most of you when you transform... I guess on one hand, she might finally understand why Sam had to leave her like that, but... It might also be worse, to know that something uncontrollable happened to take Sam away from her forever. That she lost him twice because of this werewolf thing..."

"She'll hate the Cullens more than any of us," Jake pointed out quietly.

"Why the Cullens?" I asked, bewildered.

"There hasn't been wolves since the last pack with Ephraim Black, Quil Ateara, and Levi Uley because there were no vampires around to guard against. But then the Cullens came back... And suddenly, we were needed again. If they had never returned, we would all probably still be human. And Sam wouldn't have had to leave Leah, or imprint on Emily."

I shuddered, overwhelmed yet again at how much could change because of the simplest decisions in the past. "It's so weird... That our whole lives seem to teeter one way or the other based on the decisions of those around us, doesn't it?"

"What do you mean?" He finally sat back down next to me, as he noticed the troubled expression on my face.

"Well, look at it... If the Cullens hadn't come back at all, none of you would have transformed. And maybe if they hadn't come back in order to protect me, maybe it would have stopped after the first couple of you... If my mom had decided to take me with her instead of leaving me here, we wouldn't have grown up together. Wouldn't have formed that 'spiritual connection' or whatever. I might have come back up here when my mom started to travel with Phil, but that was the year the Cullens showed up. I would have barely known you when Edward showed up, and if he suddenly fell in love with me... I don't..." As I spoke, my heart began to beat faster and faster. I knew I was just sending myself into another panic attack, but I couldn't help it. All these 'ifs' seemed to teeter on such a thin thread, like they could tip either way. "How can love be so changeable, Jake? How can two people who were meant to be together be torn apart so easily? Not even by their own decision, but someone else? It doesn't make sense!" I threw myself into his arms, and he held me tightly, tried to calm my hysterics even though I knew he had to be confused.

But he simply held onto me, almost cradled me as my hysterics gave way to quiet sobs, and eventually there were not other sounds but the waves as they slowly rolled in, and the distant sound of children as they played further down the beach.

Only then did he feel safe enough to draw away somewhat in order to look at me. "Bells... Why do I get the feeling that this is about more than just Leah and Sam?"

I drew in a few breaths as I sat up and moved from where I had ended up in his lap. "It is. A lot's gone through my mind at times about stuff like this. Especially since my decision doesn't seem to change Alice's vision. But... also because of that night... when I asked Edward to kiss me." I glanced up as Jake tensed, but continued when he said nothing. "He doesn't just like me... He's in love with me. But... I think he realizes it's better for me to be with you, because I don't have to change to be with you. To stop you from having to live out eternity without me, or having to give up my humanity so we never have to face that possibility." That seemed to relax him somewhat, but I could see that he was no where near calm.

"The night he told me that, I had a panic attack. I seem to have those a lot..." I smirked a little as he snorted and nodded his agreement. "But... it actually hurt to hear him say that. And I was already so confused over this weird connection I seem to have with him. I mean, to dream about vampires before they move into town, and then say his name in my dream before I met him?" I swallowed carefully as I gauged his reaction, and only continued when he seemed to still be relatively calm. "So... I asked him to kiss me. To try and help me figure out why I reacted that way. And... I think that a part of me realizes that I do love him, in a way. Not the way that I love you, Jake," I assured him quickly, as that pained expression threatened. "But in a way that I realize that he's supposed to be part of my life. And then I wonder how that might have changed, if I hadn't pretty much grown up with you. If we hadn't gotten to know each other so well..."

"Bella..." His voice was low, and drew my gaze up to meet with his. "A dozen things could have changed, been different... but I could never have felt any differently about you than I do now. Can you honestly imagine your life in a way where I wouldn't be a part of it?"

I shook my head vigorously. "Any time I try, I panic."

"See? We're meant to be together... Decisions made by other people can't change the connection we have. We were supposed to be together. And I dare anyone to challenge that."

I leaned into him and closed my eyes with a small sigh. "I should have told you sooner... I always feel better after you know. Everything that seemed so huge just... disappears. Like by you explaining it, it all but goes away."

I knew nothing would change the fact that Edward had a place in my heart. But even more than that, I knew that Jake's place there would never change or shrink away. And for the first time in a long while, amongst the various threats in Alice's visions, almost losing Jake, the confusion about how things might have been different... I actually felt peaceful.

The next morning, I got up rather early, made easier than it might normally have been given Jake had left around midnight to get some sleep to be prepared to take over the watch in the morning. I dressed warmly in preparation for the day. The calendar might say spring, but I knew better from years of experience, and dressed in jeans, hiking boots, a sweater, and jacket.

When I got downstairs and told my dad I'd be spending the day playing baseball with the Cullens, he burst into laughter. When Edward showed up, he grinned and wished him good luck before he walked back inside. I was surprised, however, to see the size of the vehicle that he brought to pick me up in.

"Emmett's," he explained as he helped me figure out the complicated collection of buckles. "We have to do some off-roading to get to our baseball field."

I actually laughed then, but a few minutes later when we pulled off the road, I suddenly understood the need for the size of the vehicle and all of the buckles that kept me in my seat. Edward actually laughed at the way I gripped the seat in order to minimize being jostled around the way that I was. I couldn't help but glare at him for the way he didn't seem to move even on fraction of an inch that wasn't under his perfect control.

When we got there, everyone was in high spirits. Rosalie even smiled at me and tossed me a baseball cap. "You're the umpire today, Bella."

Esme grinned. "Call them as you see them... and keep an eye out. They like to cheat."

Then thunder rumbled off in the distance and Emmett gave a whoop. A second later, the ball flew from Alice's hand when the bat in Carlisle's hand made contact, it sounded like a second round of thunder. The ball flew what seemed impossibly far, but Emmett returned with the ball in hand.

The game continued this way for several innings. I had expected the game to take forever with their speed and strength, but I guess I hadn't calculated that both sides would have those advantages. Each move was lightning fast, and Esme had to help me make calls. I felt like we had barely gotten there with the game was already half over.

"Stop!"

Everyone spun to look at Alice, her face a picture of mixed fear and horror.

"What...?" I looked between all of them.

Suddenly, Edward was at my side at my side and he rushed me back toward the jeep. And then it sunk in. The visitors from Alice's vision.

"It's too late. They're here."

My breath caught in my throat at Rosalie's words.

"Take your hair down."

I moved quickly to do as Edward said as the Cullens fell into formation around me. Edward was to one side of me, Rosalie at the other as Alice stood in front of me with Jasper, Carlisle stood before us all with Esme at his side as three figures strolled calmly out of the forest in our direction.

The one to the front of the trio smiled as he tossed the ball back in our direction, and Carlisle caught it easily. "We apologize for intruding, but we were passing through and heard the sound of your game, and we couldn't resist. I'm Laurent, and this is James and Victoria. Would we be able to join your game?"

"My name's Carlisle, and this is my family." He glanced back toward all of us." A few of us were about to leave. You're welcome to take their place." Carlisle tossed the ball and the red-headed woman plucked it deftly from the air.

I just had a few seconds to take her in before Edward began to usher me back toward the jeep. But she appeared almost feline, as feral as the two men she traveled with, but somehow infinitely more lethal in my eyes. A wind blew, and I tried to suppress a shudder from a combination of cold and nerves.

Then there was a series of threatening hisses behind my back, and Edward moved me physically so that he was directly between me and everyone else.

"But she's human," Laurent said, confused.

"She's part of our family."

I trembled somewhat as I peaked around Edward to see each of the Cullens faced off against the three vampires. The one called James eyed me and Edward, and a grin spread across his lips even as Laurent agreed to back off and urged his companions back toward the forest. "We'll be on our way, then. James, Victoria?"

As soon as they disappeared, I found myself back in the jeep as Edward fussed over the buckles to help hold me in place.

"I'm fine!" And then he threw it into gear and peeled away with such speed that he tore large chunks from the moist earth beneath the wheels. "Edward, what's going on?"

"That vampire, James... he takes joy in challenging hunts, it's like a game to him. A human protected by this many vampires. His most exciting game ever."

I gasped for air a few times, tried to hold back the nausea that washed over me.

"We need to get you out of here. Now." We pulled up at the Cullen place and he jumped out, got me, and ran both of us inside.

"Wait! My dad! James will just follow my scent back to my house. We can't just leave him unprotected!"

"We don't have time! A couple of us will keep an eye on your dad. He'll be fine."

"It's my dad, Edward, we have to lead him away." Sudden realization swept over me, and I thrust out my hand. "Let me use your phone."

"What?" Edward looked at me from his family who had gathered around us.

"You promised to let Jake know if something happened. I'm going to call him, he can meet me at my house. We can make it sound like we're going to see my mom for spring break."

"I won't leave you alone with just that mutt to protect you."

I glared at him a moment before I looked around. "You all promised to tell him."

There was some hesitation before suddenly, Rosalie was at my side, her phone in my hand. I tossed her a thankful smile and dialed. "It's a good plan, Edward," she explained calmly as she half stood between us. It will keep her dad safe and get her away. Not to mention that awful smell... I can't imagine any vampire being able to track through that."

"We can take a different route and meet them," Carlisle offered.

"Hi, Billy? Is Jake back yet?" I stepped away from their conversation so I could hear my own properly.

"No, he's still out patrolling with Jared," Billy replied quickly, without questions. I'm sure he could hear the urgency in my voice.

"And Sam's probably at Leah's..." I bit my lip. "I'll call Embry."

"I'll try Paul."

"Thanks. Tell him to have Jake meet me at my house as soon as he can. We don't have time to wait."

"Got it."

The call disconnected, and I immediately dialed Embry's number. His mom answered, but put him on the phone.

"Bella? What's up?"

"We had some... visitors during the game."

"What? I bet Jake and Jared are going nuts, not being able to cross off the land. I should join them."

"Hold on! Tell Jake I need him at my place and..."

I glanced toward the Cullens. Most were still with displeasure, but Esme gave me an encouraging nod. "We can work together, Bella, for your sake. Just warn them that Emmett and I will be here to keep an eye on your father."

"Embry, it's alright if you guys come onto the Cullen's land, but Esme and Emmett are going to be protecting my dad."

"Got it." He hung up quickly, but that short phrase was enough for me to hear the excitement in his voice.

Enough for my heart to start beating wildly. I know they all must have heard it, but made no mention of it for now.

"Alright, I'm going to get Bella to her place. Alice, Jasper, you two head out, take the least obvious routes, just in case. We'll call you on the way." The two of them were gone without a word. "Rose... would you switch clothes with Bella? Maybe we can throw him off further by laying a false trail."

And then I was in Rosalie's arms and up the stairs, where she made swift work of both our clothes, and helped me put hers on. My hands trembled far too much, and they were a little snug on me. I could hear Edward downstairs as he continued to plan with Esme, Carlisle, and Emmett. "Rosalie... I got the feeling you didn't like me much... why are you doing all this?"

She smirked and shook her head. "I suppose I don't, really. But that's my vanity talking more than anything else. But, I'm also sort of proud of you, Bella. You've had to face a lot to negate Alice's vision, when I think most humans would have simply given in... either from a lack of strong will or a misguided desire for immortality. I wish someone had been there to fight for me. So, I can't see myself doing anything but defending your decision to remain human. Even if it does involve smelly mutts," she ended with a wrinkle of her nose.

I might have actually cried then and there if she hadn't rushed me down the the stairs, where she tossed my jacket to Edward. I looked around, confused.

"He'll be expecting me to stay with you, Bella. I'll take you in my car to your house. The three of us will ride together until we're sure he's not around. Carlisle will meet us with another car." He held out his hand, offering me a phone. "Emmett's... Alice won't be able to see you." He grimaced at that. "So you'll have to call and tell us what's going on, if anything changes once we separate."

I swallowed hard, but reached out to take the phone. He stared at me for just a moment before everything seemed to become a blur, and the next thing I knew, I was in the passenger seat of Edward's car. I gripped the seat tightly and closed my eyes as I tried to organize my thoughts, to calm my wildly beating heart.

"Bella?"

I forced my eyes open. "Yes?"

"I want to try and say something, but there's not much time, so please, no interruptions?"

I only nodded.

"I know Alice has told you more than I would have liked about us, about how... unchangeable we are. And I feel that you understand that more than most ever could. That being said... I've wanted nothing more than for you to live your life the way you should. Any part that I may have in that is more than I deserve. But, Bella... I make no promises other than I will always protect you, and I will end anything that comes in the way of your dreams. Anything, or anyone."

A gasp of air escaped me, and he looked over to brush his fingertips across my cheek. That pain in my heart was there again, and all I wanted to do was curl up and cry. But Edward pulled up to my house, and suddenly, there was no time to even think anymore. Just act.

Suddenly, Jacob was at my side, fully clothed for once. I suppose it was for my father's benefit. But he took my hand tightly. "What's the plan?"

"Just play along." I went inside with Jake. "Dad?"

He poked his head out of the living room. I could see suspicion wash over his face to see the two of us together while I knew I had to at least look nervous. He got up and walked over to us. "Yeah?"

"Uhm, you know how Mom invited me to Jacksonville for break, right?"

"... Yeah?" I thought you didn't want to go, Bells." His eyes flickered to Jake.

"Well, I sort of want Mom to meet Jake. But, we want to surprise her. So, no phoning her, okay? We can call you once we get there."

"Bells... You know I don't like you traveling alone with a boy... especially when it'll involve stop-overs."

"No worries, Dad." Now I handed him the phone numbers to Alice, Jasper, Edward, and Emmett's phones, labeled with their names, so he could see who was going without me having to say it aloud. "Emmett let me borrow his phone, so you can call any time, okay?"

He sighed. "Alright... but separate rooms, right?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "I need to pack some things. Jake, help?" I leaned over to peck my dad on the cheek before we ran upstairs.

Edward was already in my room, duffel full of various pieces of clothing. My only additions were a few toiletries, and to make a little noise before we ran back downstairs.

When we got back outside, Jake gritted his teeth, but allowed Edward to drive, and slid into the back seat with my duffel.

"He heard it all. He thinks we're headed to Florida."

I breathed a sigh of relief at Edward's words.

"Bells? Mind letting me in on it now? Won't this put your mom in danger?"

I smiled faintly. " My mom's not even in the country. When she heard I wasn't spending spring break with her, she and Phil decided to go on a cruise as some sort of second honeymoon. And I happen to know that she's lost her cell again, and my dad doesn't have Phil's number."

"Okay... so what's the rest of the plan?"

"When we lose him, I'm taking some of Bella's things and luring him away. I'll take him somewhere further away, meet with Alice, Jasper, and Carlisle. We should be able to take care of him."

"You can have the rest of your family come too, you know, we can take care of Charlie."

Edward snarled, but before either of them could take it any further, I turned to stop them. "Guys! I'm nervous enough as it is, okay? And this is my dad we're talking about. No point in taking any chances."

After that, we drove in silence for some time. Enough that I knew that I should have gotten tired, but couldn't even imagine sleeping between the nauseating speeds at which Edward drove, and the flip-flops of my stomach. Occasionally, he'd make a very brief call, I couldn't understand the conversation because of how quickly he talked.

But eventually, as night fell, Edward pulled off the road into a city I didn't catch the name of, but I could see the lights from the skyscrapers across the night sky. I sat up a little more in my seat, the nausea almost gone as Edward had to slow down to navigate the crowded city streets.

"We lost him a little over an hour ago. Carlisle and Rosalie will be here almost as soon as I give them a call, they've been taking back roads this way." I nodded slowly as I fought off the weariness of the day. Edward turned to hand something to Jake.

"The hell's this for?"

"I'm going to check into a room with a card. You check into one with that. That way, on the off chance he checks, there will be no Cullen or Bella Swan checked in at the hotel once I leave. And it might take a couple of days."

"We'll manage."

"Well, it's largely our fault that this is happening to begin with . They passed through to see us, were called by the sound of our game today. So, at least let me pay for this."

Jake huffed, obviously disgruntled at the idea of being given anything from the Cullens. I didn't like it much either, but I glanced back to calm him down. We weren't really in much of a position to argue Edward's logic.

When we pulled into the parking garage of a large hotel, I walked inside with Edward as Jake walked around to the street entrance, so as to leave our scent as little obscured as possible.

I glanced over as he walked up to another woman at the counter, and was startled to see the way the few people in the lobby reacted to him. As if they were scared... but I tried to see from their point of view. They couldn't know how warm and tender he really was. All they saw was what appeared to be a rather well-muscled man in torn, greasy jeans and a t-shirt that barely seemed to fit properly.

I smiled and ducked my head, looked back to Edward in time to see the woman that checked us in give a flirtatious smile as she handed him a key. I rolled my eyes as we stepped away from the counter.

"What kind of woman flirts with a guy that's checking into a hotel with another girl?

Edward actually laughed, and I could see real amusement in his eyes as we boarded the elevator. "She assumed we were related, Bella. I got a room with two beds."

I blushed, but shook my head. "Don't know how anyone would ever think we're related."

"Why?" He asked as we got off the elevator and walked down the hallway.

"Well, I mean... You're just so attractive, Edward," I admitted, my head down to hide my face behind my hair. "You dazzle people? Don't you notice?"

I expected him to laugh again, but he didn't. He tossed my duffel onto one of the beds, and then his hand was on my cheek as he turned my head upwards in order to have me look at him. "'Knowest thou not the beauty of thine own face? Quit this temper that leads thee to war with thyself.' People look at you, too, Bella. Don't you notice?" He tossed back at me softly, a light smile playing on his lips, something between teasing and gentleness.

My breath caught in my throat as I looked up at him, and he seemed to linger with his hand on my face longer than was necessary. Then the distance between us closed somewhat before he froze, his eyes closed as his features took on a pained expression. Then he stepped back. "I should call Carlisle. He should be near the city, by now."

I nodded and finally was able to breathe again as he pulled out his phone and stepped out into the hall. I shook my head, then pulled Emmett's phone from my pocket and called my dad.

"Hey, Dad. We checked into a hotel for the night."

"Where are you guys?"

"Uhm..." I looked around for something with the address to the hotel on it, but then realized wherever we were, it was too far for us to have gotten in just half a day's worth of normal, safe driving. "You know what, Dad? I was so tired and out of it when we got here, I didn't even notice. Alice is in the shower, and I'm about to crash for the night. We have to get up early, anyhow."

"Yeah, sure kid. Well... you guys drive safely tomorrow, alright?"

"Sure. Uhm, love you, Dad. Night." I snapped the phone shut before he had a chance to say anything else. As I looked around the room, I suddenly realized how odd and... terrifying it felt to be alone after a whole day of being around others. I spun around and went to the door to yank it open, glad to see that that was as far as he'd gone.

Edward lowered the phone as I opened the door. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said with a faint smile. "Just don't want to be alone right now, you know?"

He nodded and put the phone back to his ear to finish his conversation before he hung up. Then he went with me back into the room. "Carlisle's going to be here with Rosalie in just a couple minutes. We're going to stay here long enough to give James a chance to see us leave, from a distance. Rose is going to masquerade as you to make the illusion of you leaving with me more solid. Carlisle's going to meet with Alice and Jasper, and we're going to ambush him a safe distance from here."

I drew in a deep breath. "This is all happening so fast..."

He gave a slight nod of his head. "Yes. And that's good. Gives him less time to think, to make coherent plans. With any luck, this will all be over before you have to stay here another night."

I bit my lip as I shifted my weight from one leg to the other. "Uhm, Edward? Can... can I ask you a favor?"

"A favor?" He seemed almost amused that I would ask for a favor of him, amidst the fact that he and his family were literally about to fight for my life.

"Yeah. Could you..." I sighed. "Just come back, okay? I don't know what I'd do if... if something happened to you."

He quirked an eyebrow at me. "Shouldn't you be saving a speech like this for Jake, when he goes out on a patrol or something?"

"No." I sighed and clenched my eyes shut tightly. "This is hard, Edward, but... at some point, I realized that I'm in love with you." I forced my eyes open in order to look at him again. He was completely still as he waited for me to finish. "How I feel for Jake... hasn't changed at all, and I don't... understand how I can feel this way for two people at the same time, but I do. So, come back safely, alright?"

He gave a slow nod. "We'll all be fine, Bella. I promise."

I sighed softly and closed the few steps between us in order to wrap my arms around him. I heard him release a shaky breath as he returned the embrace, and place a kiss on the top of my head. We stood still for a few long moments before he sighed and released me to turn and open toe door to reveal Rosalie and Carlisle.

"Alice called," Carlisle said as the two of them stepped into the room. "Said he'd catch our trail around midnight, so we should wait here as long as possible."

Edward nodded, and I walked off to the bathroom after I picked up a piece of the hotel stationery. I knew it would do little to actually keep my conversation a secret from three vampires, but it made me feel like I had a little more privacy. I dialed the number on the stationery, then asked for Jake's room.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Jake."

"Bella! What's going on? Being left out of the loop like this is driving me nuts."

I laughed a little. "It's only been a few minutes, Jake."

"Well, your life's in danger, and I'm not at your side like I should be. It feels like it's been a lot longer."

"I guess... Okay, uhm... Carlisle and Rosalie got here just before I called you. Alice said James is going to pick up the trail around midnight, so they're going to wait until as close to then as possible, then Edward and Rosalie will leave, with Rose disguised as me, then Carlisle's going to meet up with Alice and Jasper once he can leave without James seeing him. They're going to take him as far as they can, and..." My throat tightened at the thought. "And..."

"And... ambush him?"

"Yeah," I said with a soft sigh.

"Alright. Call me before you leave the room. I'll meet you guys in the parking garage, alright?"

"Okay. I'll see you in a couple hours, Jake."

"Right. Love you, Bells."

I smiled faintly. "Love you too, Jake." We hung up, and I took a few steadying breaths before I walked back out. "Jake said to call him before we leave the room and he'll meet us in the parking garage." I got three nods back in my direction.

"Hey, Bella? Got anything you wouldn't mind not seeing again, in case it gets torn?" Rosalie looked over at me. "The older, the better. It'll smell more like you."

"Uh... yeah, uhm..." I walked over to dig through my back and pulled out a pair of worn jeans, old t-shirt, and a hoodie.

"Great." She pointed to the bottles of my shampoo and conditioner. "Mind?"

"No, of course not."

She smiled at me and collected the clothes and toiletries before she went to shower and change. Going further than I would have thought to to surround herself in my scent.

"Bella... You should rest a little," Carlisle offered kindly.

"I couldn't sleep..."

"Perhaps, but rest, at least. We've ordered some room service for you, and Edward and I are going to fuel the cars once Rosalie gets out. This hotel happens to have a private fueling station for guests and their company vehicles, so we won't be long at all."

I gave a nod of my head and stretched out on one of the beds. One of them turned on the TV to fill the silence, though none of us really bothered to pay it any attention. Edward answered the door when the room service came, and I ate without noticing what was on the plate.

Rosalie came out and sat next to me and pulled her still damp hair back into a braid as I finished eating, and Carlisle and Edward left.

"You actually care about him, don't you?" Rosalie's quiet voice surprised me.

"Huh?"

"My brother," she explained with a light smile. "Your heart rate goes up every time you glance at him, and just now, when he left, it shot up again."

"Oh... uhm... yeah."

"But you care bout the dog... er... Jake, even more, don't you?"

I flushed darkly. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't understand how someone can feel this... much about more than one person in a lifetime, much less all at once."

"Nothing's wrong, Bella. You're just human. Your life is short, so a lot of things need to be felt and experienced in a short amount of time. Who knows? Maybe in a past life you were meant to be with Edward, when he was still human. Maybe your souls recognize that in each other, but this life was meant for Jake."

I stared at her in disbelief. "Rosalie... you're always so serious. Where's this coming from?"

She laughed, and I drew a sharp breath at how beautiful the sound was. "Serious? Me? Oh, Bella! I don't think anyone's ever said that of me in all my years. Petty, jealous, childish... Definitely vain, probably snobby and narrow-minded. Never serious." She smirked a little over at me. "I apologize, Bella, but all that seriousness you've perceived in me was nothing more than me trying to control my jealousy of you."

"Of me?" I squeaked in disbelief. "I... why? You're so perfect and beautiful, and I'm just... not."

She smirked. "Did Edward ever tell you... that when Carlisle made me, he hoped that I would be for Edward what Esme is for him?"

I stared. "No..."

"He did. But... Edward saw me for what I was. Just a silly, vain little girl. He never saw me as anything more than a sister. So when you came along, and here this... perfectly normal-looking, clumsy girl was... And you were so perfect and beautiful in his eyes. So, yes, I was jealous."

"Wow... So... where did all that stuff about... Souls recognizing each other stuff com from?"

She laughed again. "Since I've found Emmett, I've discovered the hopeless romantic in myself. We actually still get married every few years, go on long honeymoons."

"So... doesn't that make you not regret being a vampire? Even a little bit?"

Her smile faded a little, and she shook her head. "I was supposed to die that night, Bella. Emmett was dying when I found him a few years later. And it was completely selfish of me. Who knows... If not for this life, maybe we could have both died and been reborn, found each other then... Been able to have our own family."

I had no idea how to respond to that, so I leaned over and wrapped my arms around her in a tight hug. She was very surprised, but returned the hug as Carlisle and Edward walked back in, and froze to look at us.

"She's just rubbing more of her scent off on me," she sniffed indignantly as she pulled away.

Edward snorted in disbelief, he already knew the truth from her thoughts, but Carlisle just smiled and shut the door behind him.

To keep me distracted, Rosalie told me stories of when she'd been human, or the way she'd met Emmett. For now, she avoided the topic of how she changed, and I didn't push her. Even if I had wanted to, I was exhausted.

Finally, Edward got up from his seat. "He's getting close. Let's go."

I got to my feet and dialed directly to Jake's room this time, since I knew the room number. As we dashed into the hall, Edward carrying my duffel, the phone gave a half ring.

"I'm on my way." And then a click.

I would have laughed most other times. For now, I just shut off the phone and picked up speed. It suddenly felt like it had been forever since I had seen him. Rosalie and Carlisle left us at the elevator and took the stairs, and yet were still already there before us.

"Bella."

I turned and threw myself into Jake's waiting arms, kissed his cheek as he scooped me up as if I weight no more than a doll. In silence, Edward offered over my bag, and Carlisle handed him the keys to his car. Rosalie pulled the hood of my hoodie up over her head. It was a little large on her, so it hid her features perfectly.

"You'd better keep her safe," Edward finally said through gritted teeth, and got into the car as Jake snarled.

Carlisle held up a hand, and Jake stepped back as Edward peeled away. "We'll take care of James," he said said with a small, tight smile. "You two just keep to your room as much as possible, just in case. One of us will call once it's done, or if anything changes."

"Thanks... Dr. Cullen," Jake said honestly, before he turned and jogged back inside with me, across a deserted lobby, and back to his room. He set me down only once we were inside, and I swayed somewhat on my feet. "Whoa... You okay?"

"Yeah. Just... been a long day."

"Get some sleep, Bella."

"I don't know if I could."

He chuckled. "Try. Besides, if we do have to act, it will be better if you've rested some."

"Wow... I was afraid you'd say something like 'it'll make time go by faster'... which of course, would only make it harder to sleep."

He grinned. "Anyone's who been a kid at Christmas knows better than that."

"Yeah..." I smiled, but dug into the duffel while it was still slung over his shoulder. I was still aware enough to make a quick inventory of what Edward had packed. I gave a short laugh as I pulled out a pajama set.

"What's so funny?"

"Hold on. I'm going to change, or else I never will." He only nodded as I disappeared into the bathroom. I changed, washed my face and brushed my teeth before I emerged to find him sprawled on the only bed in the room. I smiled, but didn't hesitate to walk over and lie down, curling up against him.

"So, what was so funny?" He asked as he turned to face me, hold me close. "I could definitely use a little humor right now."

"Alice took me on a shopping trip when you were... sick, I guess. Had the fever. She bought me pretty much an entire new wardrobe. I swear, she's been sneaking back some of the things I told her to return. But... there was a whole pile of silky... lingerie and pajamas. But Edward didn't pack any of them."

He snorted. "He thinks a lot of my ability to reason and my self control, doesn't he?"

"Hmm... remind me to say something to him later. I'm too tired to even think about kissing, much less anything else."

"No kidding."

"Hey... you get some sleep too, Jake."

"I actually dozed some in the care, I'm good for a little while longer."

I smirked as I snuggled against him. "No you didn't. No one could sleep during that kind of driving."

He chuckled. "No, I didn't. Maybe I'll nap a little bit."

I didn't really believe him, but exhaustion took its toll before I could argue any further.

"Bella? Hey, Bells, get up."

I groaned as I was shaken awake. I was slow to wake, but when I remembered where I was, I shot up. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing. It's almost eleven. I ordered lunch."

"Eleven? Have they called?"

"Just once. Said they almost lost him, so they had to double back without making it obvious they were trying to bait him. That was a couple hours ago, and I've been awake since about six. No vampires."

I tried to find relief in that, but it was hard. Instead, I went to the bathroom to shower and change. I was halfway through getting my shirt buttoned when the phone rang. I dashed out and could only watch as Jake listened, then scowled and hung up the phone.

"We've got to go, now!"

I gasped, but turned to grab my sneakers and pull them on. There was a knock, and I spun around so fast that I nearly tumbled onto the floor.

Jake paused, then went to open the door. "Room service!" The man claimed happily as he pushed a cart into the room. "Oh, and the front desk asked me to mention that they received a call from a woman asking about your presence here, and they found it odd because they asked about two others first, then didn't want to be connected to the room?"

I drew a sharp breath. "Victoria."

Jake cursed beneath his breath.

"I see. Then lunch is on us, sir, for our obviously grievous mistake."

"Yeah. We're leaving, what do we need to do?"

"Sign out at the desk, sir. I'll alert them to your arrival."

"Yeah, thanks."

When he left, Jake stuffed the last of my things back in the bag, and we ran from the room. The woman at the counter did already have the book out, and Jake quickly scrawled his name and handed over the room keys along with a couple of bills to pay before we bolted again.

"Jake?" I was out of breath as I fumbled with my belt and he pulled out wildly. I clenched my eyes shut and tried to breathe more evenly as he swung out into traffic. "Jake, are they all okay?"

"They're fine," he said through gritted teeth. "They've spent all this time just trying to get him to a secluded area. But he must have figured it out on his own, or the woman called him. Alice's vision of him disappeared, she assumed he was headed our way."

"So... what do we do?"

"They're tailing him now. They'd gotten far enough away that we should have a good head start."

I clenched my eyes shut as I tried to make myself breathe normally. "Head away from the city, Jake."

"What? It's easier to lose him in all these streets, all the cars and different scents around. It didn't sound like he ever caught your scent, I should still be able to hide you."

"And what? Keep hiding until someone tracks us down and tells him where we are again? Drag this whole cat and mouse thing out for days? Weeks?" I shook my head. "Hopefully, he'll follow us, and the Cullens can follow him."

He released a slow breath, but gave a nod and slowed down to make a turn out onto a highway that led away from the city. I picked up the phone and called Alice to tell her about the plan.

She was quiet a few moments before she responded. "Well, we all catch up to you and Jake, at least. And soon. Tell Jake to find the furthest place he can away from people in the next few minutes, but you guys stay in the car, don't stop moving. We should catch up soon."

"Okay." We hung up and I looked to Jake. "She said they'll all catch up to us very soon, so find a place as far from people as you can."

"Right." His foot sank closer to the floor as he dodged traffic with relative ease. Within minutes, it began to thin out as people pulled off to go home or return to work. Jake picked an exit that was completely empty of cars, and continued to make directional choices this way until we came upon a deserted fair ground.

"Great," I muttered as I eyed it. "I'll never be able to go to the fair again."

He gave a short bark of laughter at the comment, too tense as he began to circle the large, fairly empty lot as we waited.

"Uhm... I'd better make sure they can find us." I picked up the phone and dialed Alice again. "Hey, Alice? There's an abandoned fair ground off an exit a few miles outside the city. Even the exit looks deserted."

"Alright. We should be there in a couple minutes, Bella. Edward and Rosalie are ahead of us. Be careful, okay?"

"Yeah, we-" I gave a startled yelp as Jake suddenly whipped the car around.

"He's here."

"Bella! Bella? Hold on, we're almost there!" I could hear Alice's voice distantly from the floorboard where the phone had fallen.

The car suddenly jerked to a stop, and all the wind was forced out of my lungs as my belt held me in place. I heard metal grind and even snap as it buckled under the unbreakable body it had run into, the motor shudder and stop. The air bag kept my head from making contact with the dashboard, but I struggled to be free of it, be free of the cage the care had become.

I looked, but Jake was no longer beside me. I bit back a scream as I finally worked my way free of the care, and looked around quickly, until my eyes landed on a mass of reddish-brown fur as it propelled itself toward a pale figure.

A scream finally tore free of me. Not out of fear for myself, but from fear for the wolf I recognized to be Jake. My Jacob, as an arm shot out, threw him back against the metal frame of the Ferris wheel. Then the pale figure was at my side.

"I had hoped to draw this little game out longer, but... nothing to be done, I suppose."

Then I was up in the hair, and fell forcefully onto the hood of the ruined car as the back of my head hit the windshield. I didn't even have time to catch my breath to scream before his hand came down to break the bones in one of my legs.

Then he was gone again, knocked aside by a blur of fur as my vision swam before me, but I still tried to move, tried to get up. I heard the distinct stone as it cracked and then shattered, a feral cry followed it, then the crash as glass shattered powerfully.

Something icy gripped my arm, then I finally found the breath to scream as I felt my skin tear and give way under his teeth. Then the icy grip was gone, and I heard several snarls as the fight ensued with more vampires. But I lost focus after that as the fire began to burn me, and I screamed again.

I faintly heard stone crack and break again, smelled smoke. I heard Carlisle as he worked to tourniquet my shattered leg. But his cold hands did nothing for the fire that slowly crawled up my arm.

"Carlisle!"

"She's lost a lot of blood, Edward. You've got to decide now."

"What if I can't stop?"

A snarl in the background.

"I trust you."

I gasped for air, clenched my eyes shut. Tried to keep from screaming again. Their voices seemed so distant to me, like from the far end of a long tunnel. But slowly, the fire in my arm receded.

"That's enough, Edward. Edward!"

There was a growl, and I felt the hands that I could feel on my arm now shake somewhat as they withdrew. Then my world was dark.

When I woke, I was first aware of how bright it was, and I went to move my arm to shield my eyes from it. But I gasped at the pain that caused.

"Bells?" Suddenly my dad's face came into my field of vision.

"Dad...? What...?"

"Apparently you guys decided to stop at some museum... You got a dizzy spell at the top of the stairs and fell into some glass display... cut your arm, busted your leg and your head..."

"... How long was I out?"

"Little over a day, now."

I slowly became more aware, remembered how I had gotten there. "... Does Mom know yet?"

"No..." His brow furrowed. "Turns out she and Phil went on some cruise. Some of her co-workers are trying to reach her, but it's taking a while."

"Mm... hey, Dad?"

"Yeah, Bells?"

"Don't... don't tell Mom we were coming to see her, okay? She'll feel guilty... You know how she can get."

"Yeah... Okay. Sight-seeing it is..." He reached up to brush hair back from my face. "I should probably tell the nurse you're awake. Besides, Jake's going a little nuts out there. They don't like too many visitors in here at once." He smirked before he turned and left.

I struggled to upright myself, and groaned at the effort it took, gasped softly in pain. Then Jake was at my side, and arranged the pillows in a way that let me see my surroundings a little better, and I smiled up at him.

"So... What happened?"

"Leech caught up with us... I fought him for a couple minutes... took his arm off, but he kept getting away from me... Went straight for you..." He touched the bandage on my arm and grimaced. "I'm sorry... I should have been able to hold him off better... He shouldn't have been able to-"

"Jake, stop... I'll be fine, okay? I was more worried about your..."

He gave a short laugh and shook his head. "Hunted by vampires and the human worries about the werewolf?"

I smiled wryly. "You know me... Monsters and mayhem are so old news..." I grimaced as whatever painkiller had kept me under so long began to wear off.

"Should I call a nurse?"

"No... not yet." I closed my eyes and drew a deep breath. "He... bit me, didn't he?" I took his silence as confirmation. "So... I'm still... me. How?"

He drew a shaky breath. "Edward. He... sucked the venom out... He almost couldn't stop," he added with a low growl.

"Hey, hey... He did, that's what matters." I clenched my eyes shut. "Where are the Cullens?"

"They cleaned up the fair grounds, Dr. Cullen had to get a new car," he smirked a little. "Most of them headed back once they saw you were stable... He stayed, of course."

"Yeah..." I gasped quietly.

"Okay, that's enough." He reached over my head to push the nurse call button.

"No, I don't-"

"Bells, I can fill you in later. Once you're better. I can't... I can't watch you like this."

I groaned. "I told my dad... not to tell my mom... He said he'd say we were sight-seeing..."

"Right. Get some sleep, Bells."

The nurse walked in and injected something into my IV. "Do I have a choice?"

He grinned. "Not really."

I smiled a little, ignoring the nurse as she quickly checked me over, making notes onto a clipboard. "You're not going anywhere, are you? You'll be here when I wake up?"

"Bells, I'm going to be at your side as much as I can until the day you tell me to go away."

"Mm... You're stuck with me, then. Lifelong sentence."

He chuckled, lightly brushing a hand over my cheek as the nurse left the room. "Sounds perfect."

I smiled as my mind fogged over, and finally I let myself drift off into a dreamless sleep.


	24. Chapter Twenty Three

Author's Note: Posting a few days early, since I'm getting my buffer built up again! Also! For shameless promotion! For the Taysten fans and Team Jacobites out there, I'd like to bring your attention to an awesome site called Easy as Breathing. There's fanfiction, videos, pictures, podcasts... all sorts of fun. But I'm also re-posting _If _there at the Easy as Breathing site (I just discovered it was not letting me post the web address, so if you just do a google search for "easy as breathing", it should be one of the top results if not the first one "Easy as Breathing - Taking the Natural Path..." There's also links up in my profile) . I'm adding pictures to the story, and when the chapter warrants, mature content. So make sure you're 18 before you join. I look forward to having you all join the story group there! (I have the same author name, if you have any trouble getting to it.) Once I get the story caught up to where it is on here, I'll also begin posting a new story there before it hits . Just some added incentive! Okay, now on with the story!

May 2006

Forks, Washington – Bella

I certainly had never pictured myself at my graduation on crutches, but it didn't really do much to dampen my mood. I twisted about in my seat as I half-listened to Eric's valedictorian speech, and smiled as I spotted my friends and family amongst the crowd.

My father was seated in between Billy and Sue Clearwater, whom my father had diligently remained beside to help since Harry had passed away once his daughter and son had joined the La Push pack. Jake was beside his father and waved at me once he caught my eye. Then my mother and Phil were there too, and my mother pretty much glowed as she stole the occasional glance toward Phil. I knew why, of course. At the age of nineteen, I was to finally have a younger sibling.

I turned back when I heard names being called out, and saw the second row of students hurry to keep up with the speed the names were called.

I glanced up and watched as Alice danced across the stage, followed by Edward and then Emmett. I'd already received an invitation to Emmett and Rosalie's wedding over the summer. They'd be off for at least the next year on their honeymoon, and Alice, Edward, and Jasper were all off to colleges – Alice and Jasper were both to attend an East Coast college, while Edward would travel to England. Carlisle and Esme would leave the country as well, as their supposed ages far from matched their appearances.

I rose with the rest of my row, and laughed to hear the loud cheers of my from my friends and family – mostly Jake. My hat went up in the air with everyone's, and when I could, I ran over and into my mother's arms.

"Oh, congratulations, Bella!"

"Thanks, Mom." I smiled at her, and then turned to accept a hug from my father.

"I'm proud of you, Bells."

I was then caught up and spun around in Jake's arms, and I laughed. "You're coming to the party later, right? Alice told me to invite whoever I wanted, so you and all the La Push... crowd are welcome."

"Yeah, I'll be there. A few of the guys are coming with me, too."

"Great." I beamed at him before I was ushered off by my parents to have dinner at the Lodge.

"Oh, Bella, I do wish you'd consider going to college near Jacksonville. It would be wonderful to have you close by, especially once the baby arrives."

"Mom... Maybe later, okay? It's too late for admissions anyway, and I'm already signed up for courses at the community college, and I've got a job at Newton's, since Mike is going to go off for his business degree."

"Well..."

"Besides, do you think I should leave Dad to fend for himself in the kitchen?"

"Hey... I can manage!"

"Yes, to make sandwiches and order pizza," I teased.

He grinned sheepishly. "Seriously, Bells. Don't let me hold you back from going to Jacksonville, if that's what you want. You could always transfer for the second semester."

"No, really. I want to stay in Forks. I already have a job, classes, friends..."

"Jake," my mom teased, her smile knowing.

"That too," I admitted with a light blush and duck of my head.

"You two come out to dinner with me and Phil tomorrow night. I'd like a chance to get to know him before we go back."

"Sure, Mom."

After dinner, my mom and Phil dropped me off at the Cullens' house. Of course, it was already set up once I got there, and I couldn't help but stare in wonder. Alice had decorated it all to look like some glamorous night club, complete with colorful, flashing lights and a clear space for a dance floor.

"Wow, Alice," I said as I hugged her. "You never cease to amaze me with these things..."

"Wait until you see Rosalie and Emmett's wedding," she said with a small giggle.

Rosalie walked over to me, looking as perfect as always in a baby blue dress, and extended a small envelope into my hands. "Since Alice was so extravagant in her gift-giving a few months ago... From several of us, apparently," she eyed Alice meaningfully, only to have her hum happily and dance off. "Carlisle and I decided on this for you. Bit more practical than a wardrobe... It's a few shares in a stock Alice saw would do well over the next couple of years." When I started to protest, she gave me a shake of her head. "Believe me, it cost a lot less than those clothes, and won't amount to much more than to help pay for college and maybe a little extra. I'm sure Alice will let you in on more later, if you ask." She smiled before she walked off.

Then there was no more room to protest as other guests began to arrive in small groups, all in awe of the scene laid out before them. I doubted this was a party anyone would soon forget.

Soon, Jake did arrive with Quil, Embry, Jared, and Jared's girlfriend Kim in tow. I walked over to him. "No one else wanted to come?"

"Well... You know Paul. And Sam;s out on patrol, and Sue wouldn't let Seth come to a high school party," he said with a laugh.

"And Leah despises the Cullens... and quite probably me, at this point," I added with a sigh.

"Leah's gone out of her way to make meetings as unpleasant for all of us as possible. It's gotten to where no one can patrol with her peacefully but Seth."

I sighed and glanced out at everyone. I think more than half of Fork's High had shown up tonight out of sheer curiosity. "Is..." I giggled. "Embry's flirting with that girl from my school!"

Jake chuckled. "He's actually gotten quite a bit more confident over the past few months."

"I'm surprised Quil isn't out there flirting with half the girls here."

"He's imprinted, actually," Jake responded quietly.

"Oh? Wow, three of you... Well, why didn't he bring her? Jared brought Kim."

"Er... I'll explain later. It's sort of caused a scandal."

My eyebrow quirked.

"Any how, before I forget..." He settled a small bag in my hand.

"Oh,that's pretty!" I admired the loose-woven, multicolored fabric.

He rolled his eyes, but laughed. "Your present is **inside**, Bells."

"Oh." I tried to work the leather drawstrings loose, but it was difficult, given I also had to balance myself on a familiar pair of crutches.

He took the bag back and gave a small tug to one of the strings, then shook the contents into my hand. A bracelet made of silver links fell out into my hand. Attached to one of the links was a small figurine of reddish-brown wood that reminded me right away of the color of his skin, and of his fur when he transformed. As I looked at it more closely, I was amazed that the level of detail that had gone into it made the little wolf appear almost realistic.

"You made this?"

"Yeah. My dad taught me. He's a lot better at it," he said as he fastened the catch to place the bracelet around my right wrist, next to the woven bracelet.

"That's hard to believe. It's beautiful, Jake, thank you." I leaned up to place a soft kiss on his mouth.

"Glad you like it."

"I do. It's incredible."

"Bella."

I glanced over to Edward, and offered a small smile. "Yes?"

"Could I talk to you a minute? Alone?"

"Uhm... Sure." I glanced to Jake, who gave a short nod.

Things had been odd between the wolves and Cullens since things with James had ended. The pack had been surprised that the Cullens had gone so far in order to protect me, despite Alice's vision (of which the had slowly and inevitably learned of through their linked minds). Jake had beat himself up for a long while that he couldn't do more to protect me, but Edward had earned his gratitude, and he couldn't bring himself to refuse most anything Edward asked.

So I slowly made my way after Edward as he walked outside and some distance away from all the lights and noise of the party. When he stopped, he eyed the little charm on my bracelet, and sighed. "It is very good."

I smiled. "I know. But you didn't bring me out here to admire Jake's handiwork."

"No." He glanced up toward the night sky. "Laurent paid us a little visit earlier."

My pulse quickened immediately. "Laurent? What did he want?"

"To warn us, actually. He's gone to visit the Denali clan in Alaska, he's curious about the way we live. But it turns out that James was Victoria's mate. And she wants to take mine away as I've taken hers."

"But I'm not-"

"It doesn't matter, Bella. She saw how I acted with you that day. In her eyes... in the eyes of most any vampire, you are my mate. Mine to protect, to defend, by the simple virtue of my feelings for you."

I tried to breathe evenly. "So... What do we do?"

"Alice has been watching for her since Laurent left, and she will continue to watch for any decisions that bring her to your path, or to have her future disappear. After the wedding, we'll try to hunt her, but we're unsure of the good it will do. He warned us that she has an unnatural gift for survival. We may not be able to catch up to her."

"So what should I do in the mean time?"

"I hate to say it, but stick close to the wolves as much as possible. If she has any instinct for survival, she won't go near them."

I released a slow breath. "I seem to cause so much trouble for everyone."

"Bella..." He stepped closer, put his hand to my cheek. "Protecting you so that you may lead your life happily is such a small thing in comparison to what you gave me by admitting your feelings for me. Every breath that you take is precious, and I couldn't ask for more than that for the rest of my life. Your existence is my reason for being."

I flushed and ducked my head. I never knew how to respond when he spoke that way to me. It made my entire body thrill, but at the same time, I would want to cry, because I could not give him the love he deserved in return.

"You'd better go back in. He'll start to think I've taken advantage of his trust and kidnapped you. Bad enough I've already ruined your night."

"Don't be silly... You saved my life, Edward. It can't ruin my night to know that I have so many friends willing to do so much for me, except in that I can do so little in return."

"Your friendship is all the gift any of us could ask for, Bella. Well, and for Alice, to continue to let her use you as a life-size doll."

I actually laughed at that as we turned and made our way back to the house. The party had grown somewhat smaller as some of the younger students had curfews to meet, couples and friends wandered off to smaller parties, since their curiosity had been satisfied.

But I still had to work my way through a crowd in order to find Jake as he hung out against the wall, given a wide berth by the people around him. "You may want the others here for this one, Jake."

Immediately, he tensed and glanced around, waved them over. Soon, we were joined by Quil, Embry, Jared, and Kim. "Bells?"

I nervously cleared my throat. "Laurent, part of James's coven, stopped by to warn the Cullens that the woman, Victoria, had been James's mate... and now she's going to be after me as revenge." The boys scowled as Kim looked on nervously. "Alice is already watching her decisions, and Edward said they were going to hunt her after Emmett and Rosalie's wedding. But apparently, she has a gift for survival, so they may never catch up to her. So in the mean time, he suggested I spend a lot of time with the pack."

"If she's got a knack for survival, she won't come near us," Quil pointed out with a playful grin.

"And once the Cullens leave, we can push our patrols to include parts of Forks where Bella is," Jared added.

"Right... we'd better go let the others know what's up." Embry was already headed to the door.

"Yeah... Bells, I'll see you later?" Jake leaned in to kiss my cheek, and then was gone with the others.

The rest of the party seemed to pass in a blur, and I paid it little mind. I somehow managed to focus enough to bid my friends farewell when they said good night to me, but my thoughts were definitely far from a party mood.

Would I ever be able to breathe easily again? Live my life without some sort of mortal fear hanging over my head?


	25. Chapter Twenty Four

Author's Note: And another! Almost caught up with the chapters I have hand-written already, polishing off the ideas on how to finish off the story in my head before I get them written. I'm currently typing up the twenty-eighth chapter, and am in the middle of writing up the thirtieth. Beyond that, I think it should only take two to three more chapters after that, and_ If_ will be complete! (I could almost cry!) **Also!** For shameless promotion! For the Taysten fans and Team Jacobites out there, I'd like to bring your attention to an awesome site called Easy as Breathing. There's fanfiction, videos, pictures, podcasts... all sorts of fun. But I'm also re-posting _If _there at the Easy as Breathing site (There's links up in my profile) . I'm adding pictures to the story, and when the chapter warrants, mature content. So make sure you're 18 before you join. I look forward to having you all join the story group there! (I have the same author name, if you have any trouble getting to it.) Starting with this next update, I believe, I will start posting the new chapter there Thursdays or Fridays. So, if you want the added content and to get the updates early, you know where to go! Just some added incentive! Okay, now on with the story!

July 2006

Forks, Washington – Bella

The day of the wedding was overcast, but not a drop of rain fell from the sky. The majority of the guests were still in the dark about the true identities of the Cullens, and while I would miss the chance to see how dazzling they all could look in the sunlight, I knew it was for the best. It was their wedding, but I knew it was the last time I would see most or all of them for a long while.

My mom had even come up from Jacksonville to spend a couple weeks with me before she would have school, and then the baby to keep her occupied. But I couldn't help the feeling that she watched me closely, watched Jake and I together, even going so far as to constantly ask us out to eat or shop with her.

But as I stood at Rosalie's entrance, all other thoughts were driven from my mind. Her blond hair was swept up in a twist, small, soft curls left to lightly frame her face. A small tiara of twinkling diamonds and sapphires sat atop her head. Her gown was obviously designed and made just for this occasion, of a very modern cut with off-the-shoulder sleeves. It did not bell out at the bottom as I had always imagined wedding gowns to do, but flowed loosely from her waist down. The hems were trimmed in a delicate lace that I was sure was antique. She wore little in the way of jewelry, outside of a modest diamond engagement ring – just a white lace choker with a silver teardrop, echoed in the middle by a small sapphire, and matching earrings. I was sure that no one took a breath until she passed them by.

There wasn't much to the actual ceremony after that. Just the traditional vows and exchanging of rings.

"Bella!" Rosalie came back over to me once everyone began to move inside for the reception. "Help me change?"

I looked at her in confusion, but excused myself from my mom and Jake to follow her up the stairs to her bedroom. "Rose?"

"Just a moment!" And it really was just a moment, and she helped me sit down on the edge of her bed. "I actually felt a little guilty that you weren't up there with Alice as a bridesmaid..."

I laughed a little. "A bridesmaid on crutches? I don't think so... Maybe next time," I teased.

"Definitely."

I got the feeling that we were obliged to kill time. "You were beautiful today... Well... more than usual."

She smiled. "Thank you... do you think it's silly that I still follow all the little wedding traditions? Emmett laughs at me every time?"

"Do you?"

"Yeah... The gown was new, except for the lace. I actually went back and salvaged that from my mother's dress... I always incorporated it into my gowns. Then all the blue sapphires, and the choker and earrings I borrowed from Esme... she wore them at her wedding to Carlisle."

I smiled softly. "No, I don't think it's silly at all."

She looked wistful for a few moments before she gave a shake of her head. "Anyhow! I'm feeling particularly sentimental today, so..." She walked over to her dressing table and reached into one of the drawers. "Here." She placed a small object in my hand.

"Rose, I don't want any more gifts from you guys!"

She scoffed. "Gift? I expect that back later, Isabella Swan. But... I thought you might like it, to remember us by while we're gone."

I glanced down to my hand, and fond a small silver oval seated on my palm. The locket was engraved with a large C in the center in elegant script. I carefully pried it open and found a photo of Rosalie on one side, and Emmett on the other.

"We're actually both still human in those," she said with a sad smile. "Everyone thinks it's odd that I keep those photos in there instead of something when we were together, but..."

"I understand," I answered quietly.

"I thought you would." She smiled briefly, then helped to get me back down the stairs. "That's plenty of time..." Once I was safely down the stairs, she rushed over to Emmett's side, and looked every bit the part of a glowing new bride.

"So, what did she want?"

I glanced up at Jake. "Honestly? … Girl talk." I was sort of still surprised at the thought myself, but I had to laugh at Jake's expression.

"The ice queen wanted girl talk?"

I scowled at him, but said nothing. He had slowly gotten better about his names for the Cullens. He didn't call anyone but Carlisle by name outside of conversation with them, but at least the names were based more on their separate personalities, instead of the fact that they were vampires.

"She gave me this, actually." I offered over the locket for him to look. "Well, let me borrow it, until I see them again..."

He opened it to look inside, and was surprised. "From when they were human?"

I blinked in disbelief. "How can you tell?"

"Well, they look a little different, you know?"

"Uh..."

He grinned, and held the locket over for me to look. "It's black and white, so it's harder to tell, but he actually looks a little tanned, and she's blushing."

I stared at the pictures before I shook my head. "I can't really see it, but I'll take your word for it."

"Here." He stepped behind me and draped the chain the locket hung on around my neck and clasped it.

"Thanks." I tilted my head back to smile up at him, grateful not only because I didn't have a place to carry it, but how much better he had gotten about my friendship with the Cullens.

"Bella, honey?"

"Mom?" I looked over to her as she approached.

"Jake, do you mind if I borrow my daughter for a few minutes?"

"Uh, no. Of course not, Mrs. Dwyer."

"I told you to call me Renee!"

Jake ducked his head a little, and it was sort of funny to see that he still wasn't quite sure what to make of my mother. I had to admit, she acted more like a teenager than I did most of the time, and I suppose that's why he had such issues with calling her by her first name, when it came so easily with other adults. With other adults, it was just a sign of familiarity and friendship, while they still maintained a position of some authority. But there was no authority in my mother at all. Probably why she'd chosen to teach kindergartners instead of older kids.

"Oh, um, right. Renee."

She flashed him a smile, then turned to lead me away. "I won't keep her long, I promise!"

We went out to the front porch, and I began to fervently hope that whatever my mom had to say, that it wasn't too embarrassing. Sitting on the front porch would put us within perfect hearing distance of all the Cullens and Jake.

"Yeah, Mom?"

"Well, I'll have to head back a couple of days early. Phil called and said he'd broken his arm. But I wanted to have a chance to talk to you while I was still here, instead of over the phone later on."

Oh, no. Embarrassment always followed statements like that. "Oh... What about?"

She smiled at me, and I was suddenly afraid of how knowing it was. "How long have you been with Jake, Bella?"

"Uhm... About a year now?" And I paused and let that fact wash over me, quickly followed by realization. "Actually, it will be a year in about three days."

She laughed a little. "Oh, Bella. I'm still surprised at how grown up you are. Most girls would keep track of each little anniversary they could." She gave a wistful smile. "For the entire first year I was with Charlie, I annoyed my friends each week by announcing my weekly anniversaries."

"You did?" I'd never really heard either of my parents talk of each other when they'd been together.

"Mmhm!" She smiled at me again. "But, you really love him, don't you?"

A blush colored my cheeks, and I ducked my head. Was I so transparent that even my absent-minded, whimsical mother could see right through me? But I drew in a breath and managed to reply. "I really do, Mom..."

"And it's so easy to see that he's in love with you."

I squirmed in my position on the bench next to her. "What's your point, Mom? I mean, not to be rude, but..."

"I'm embarrassing you?" Her eyes twinkled at me.

"Kind of..."

She gave a small nod, and sighed. "I just wanted to say that what may be wrong for some isn't necessarily wrong for others."

"... Mom, you're not making any sense."

A slight sigh. ""I was far too young when I married your father, Bella. But you're far more mature than I was for many years... Even still, I think, at times," she admitted.

My breath caught in my throat.

"Oh, I'm not saying now, of course! He's just sixteen, right? So you have a couple of years to get used to the idea," she teased as she patted my hand in consolation.

"Mom! You know how I feel about marriage, especially so young..."

"I know, Bella. I also know that's mainly because of me. But don't run your life based on the mistakes of others. Where would we be in this world if that was the way we all behaved?"

I stared. Where had that come from. My mom sounded almost... wise. Definitely level-headed.

"Besides, you definitely seem to support this Rosalie and Emmett getting married, and they're your age."

Even if I could protest out loud that they were actually about seventy years older than me, I knew that argument couldn't hold up, even in my mind. Rosalie had found Emmett just a couple years after she had turned, and though I knew love worked a little differently for them, they could be more certain of their emotions... I couldn't imagine ever being more sure of my feelings for anyone. "Uhm.. I'll keep that in mind."

She smiled at me before she leaned over to give me a hug and a peck on the cheek. "I should get going. I'll have to get up early to catch my flight."

I returned the hug. "Bye, Mom. Love you."

"I love you too, Bella." She smiled, then got up and left.

But I didn't move from my spot. I lingered on until Esme poked her head outside the door. "Rosalie is about to toss her bouquet, Bella."

"Uhm... even without crutches, do you think I'm coordinated enough to catch something flying through the air?"

She laughed. "Perhaps not, Bella, but they'll leave right after. I thought you might like to come see them off. Carlisle's going to pull the car out soon, and we're taking them to the airport."

"Okay," I got up and made my way inside to find all the girls already gathered in a group. I hung to the back, which didn't matter, in the end, given the precision with which Rosalie tossed the flowers to Alice.

When we moved out of the way for the boys to gather for Emmett to toss the garter, Alice came to me and tucked one of the small, pink silk roses into my hair. "To remember me by."

I actually almost teared up at that one. "Oh, Alice... like I could forget you!" My sniffle was drowned out by the laughter from the guys as Emmett made a show of fishing the garter out from under Rosalie's dress.

"I know!" Alice chirped happily, and pecked me on the cheek.

To distract myself, I looked to the boys as Emmett hooked the garter with his finger and shot it wildly back over his shoulder, with none of Rosalie's precision. It shot up at an angle, hit the ceiling, then dropped directly onto Jake's head.

He stared upward, arms frozen in place at his side. No one moved until Jasper plucked it from the top of his head.

"Technically, you didn't catch it. It was in my hands first." He then extended a hand out toward Alice.

"No, but it went straight to him," Alice said with a wink in my direction before she danced over into Jasper's arms.

I signed as an embarrassed Jake shuffled to my side, and everyone lined up in two rows to be handed the little bottles of bubbles to blow as Rosalie and Emmett made their way out.

Jake stood there with the bottle in hand as they walked out, then offered to hold mine until he got me home. "So... what did your mom want?"

"What, you couldn't hear us talking?" Something between relief and disbelief settled in me.

"No. It was actually kind of loud in here, with people talking and the music. Besides, I wouldn't eavesdrop."

"Oh. Well, mainly to tell me that she's going back to Jacksonville in the morning. Phil broke his arm." If I ever could work up the courage to tell Jake what the majority of the conversation had been about, it certainly wouldn't be in such a crowded place.

"That sucks. At least he should have enough time to heal before next season."

"Yeah."

I bit my lip as people came back inside from seeing Rosalie and Emmett off, and then sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"It's just... weird. I'm staying right here, and I thought that would mean things would stay familiar, but... All the Cullens are leaving, Eric and Angela are going to college in California, Jess and Mike are off to college in different states, my dad's busier than ever between work and helping Sue out, my mom's pregnant..." I trailed off as Angela ran over.

"Bella! I didn't want to say anything before, since it was Rosalie and Emmett's day, but look!" She waved her left hand at me. On her ring finger was a little diamond ring set in gold.

I almost couldn't breathe again, but then I quickly shifted my weight to my good leg in order to hug her. "Ang! Congratulations!"

"Thanks!" She beamed radiantly. "We're actually talking about having it over winter break, try to convince my mom I don't need to make out all those invitations again." She rolled her eyes, but then smiled again. "Anyhow, you and Jake have to come, of course, and you have to be my maid of honor! Pleeeease?"

I blushed at her enthusiasm, and couldn't help but nod. "Sure, Ang. I should be off these crutches by then, at least."

"Oh, I don't care! We've been friends since middle school, you're going down that aisle ahead of me, even if... Jake has to carry you!"

I had to laugh a little at her insistence. "Okay, okay! Maid of honor. Got it."

She turned and glanced off as her name was called, and she smiled. "Okay, we've got to go. Uhm... Ben's mom is throwing us an engagement party at some point, before we have to go. I'll give you the details once I know, and we can talk about all the … maid of honory things. Bye!"

A long breath slowly escaped me. "See what I mean? Everything is changing!"

Jake slid his arms around my waist from behind. "Not everything."

I smiled and sighed as I relaxed against him. "I suppose not... Thank you, for that."

"I should be thanking **you**... But I thought you graduate types were supposed to be all excited about change, about 'facing new challenges'."

I laughed a little. "I think I've had enough challenges to last me for a few years. I'm good with things staying stable, the same for a few more years."

"Well, I won't be changing. At least not for a while."

My heartbeat quickened. "Why does that sound like you're talking about more than your feelings?"

"I am," he said with a frown. "I thought you'd realized it, Bells. Once the fever sets in, we fully mature physically within a few months. Then we stay like that, until we go for a while without transforming."

I clenched my eyes shut and tried to fight off the panic. "You're not aging."

"... No... Bells, are you alright?"

"No!" I hiccuped as I fought back a sob, and when I opened my eyes, I saw the remaining Cullens draw closer. I knew Jasper would be able to calm me down immediately, but I really didn't want to be calm at the moment. "Jake, please get me out of here. Please."

He made no reply, just helped me out the door and into his car. There were no questions about where to go, he just drove away from the direction of my house. We drove quietly for a long time with no particular direction, other than an occasional turn so we didn't stray too far from Forks.

Finally, he pulled into an empty parking lot and turned to look at me. "Bells..."

"That... That was always what terrified me, when Alice told me that she saw me as a vampire. Not the thought of being like them, but the thought of living so long without the ones I care about. Without you... I don't want to do that to you, Jake..."

"Bella!" He got out of the car and came around to my side. He pulled me out and into his arms, supported my weight easily so there was no pressure on my broken leg. "Listen to me! I'm not like them, okay? I **will** age again some day, once I gain enough control not to transform because of my emotions, once I'm sure you're safe from vampires. Physically, I'm already about seven years older than you at this point... I would hope, in that time, you're safe again. And Sam's beginning to be able to control it... I'm already pretty good at it, or else I couldn't be around you or the Cullens as much as I am."

I hid my face against his chest as I waited for the panic to subside, and slowly was able to breathe again, and then actually gave a little laugh.

There was relief in his voice when he spoke again. "Just what is it that you find funny, Bells?"

"Us... what a pair we make. My mom's told me for years that I was a grown-up when I was still a kid, Dad said I was too old for my age... And here you are, always making me see reason, calming me down when I get hysterical. I guess we're just a couple of grown-up teenagers."

"Middle aged before puberty."

I laughed again. "Something like that." Then I simply stayed in his arms, quiet as I just enjoyed the feeling of it, enjoyed the pleasant, woodsy smell that was Jake.

"Bells?"

"No."

He chuckled. "Sorry, but it's really late... Charlie's going to want to kill me as it is."

"I don't want to be away from you..."

"I'll come back by once I get my car home."

I sighed softly, but gave a nod of my head. "Don't take too long..."

"I won't." He pressed his lips briefly to my forehead before he helped me back into the car and drove me home.

As he helped me inside, I noticed my dad asleep on the couch. With a shake of my head, I went over to wake him.

"Bells?" He sat up and glanced to the clock. I winced to see it was almost two in the morning. Then he looked between the two of us. "You're just getting in?"

"Yeah," I admitted as I bit my lip. "I'm sorry, I was just upset after the reception, so Jake and I drove around for a while."

"Oh... Right. The rest of the Cullens are all headed off tomorrow, aren't they?"

"Yeah." That was as good an excuse as any.

"Well... I guess I can't really hold you to a curfew anymore. You've never been irresponsible in the first place, and you're starting college next month... But give me a head's up next time you'll be late, okay? Just so I don't worry."

I smiled softly. "Deal. Now go to bed before you're all sore and can't work tomorrow."

"Yes, ma'am," he snapped off a sarcastic salute in my direction, but smiled and headed up the stairs.

"No curfew? Nice." Jake laughed a little.

I yawned. "Great... I'll probably pass out before you get back..."

"Well, it was a long day," he allowed as he helped me up the stairs.

"Come anyway?"

"I'll be here," he said with a grin, pecked my forehead, and then was gone.

I took my time as I prepared for bed. Not that it was hard, given the issues of dressing and undressing with a broken leg. I went to my dresser and removed the locket from around me neck and laid it down carefully. Then I pulled the bobby pins out that Alice had used to fix my hair that day. But as I went to pull the rose from my hair, I found that it was fixed in place by a small silver comb. It had been carefully polished and well cared for, but was obviously very old. I smirked and shook my head. Alice would be Alice. I laid the rose and comb next to the locket.

Then I walked off to the bathroom to wash up. By the time I finished, I was exhausted, and made my way back to my room slowly. And gave a startled gasp to see Jake sprawled out across my bed. He chuckled quietly.

"Jake! When did you get here?"

"When you walked out of the room. I heard the door close."

I rolled my eyes. " I can't wait to be rid of these crutches. Even if I have used them so often I can do things faster, it's still so slow and tiring..."

"Want me to start carrying you everywhere?"

"Oh, that would be a sight," I said with a small laugh as I climbed carefully into bed.

He smiled and pulled me in against him. "You know, it's a good thing about my hearing... If I ever dozed off and Charlie came in, I bet that whole 'never been irresponsible' idea would go right out of his head."

"Jake, right now he's probably one of too few people who views me as responsible... The girl who's crazy for dating her childhood friend, a boy who's two years younger than her as she gets ready for college, according to Jess and probably ninety percent of Forks High. Crazy for hanging out with vampires, according to the pack. And crazy for hanging out with werewolves. Know who that leaves? My dad, Angela, and possible Ben... And apparently my mother, as I found out tonight."

"Your mom? I thought she had this major thing against falling in love and being so serious while you're still young."

"So did I... Turns out she thinks I've been more mature about it all than she ever was. That even if I made... similar decisions, that they would be right for me, when they weren't for her."

He got that wolfish grin, and chuckled as I hid my face against his bare chest. "Similar decisions, huh?"

"Yeah, like... getting married. Apparently she thinks what was too young for her would be fine for me."

"Ah... So... your mom, of all people, told you basically she wouldn't mind if you up and got married?"

I blushed darkly at his words, at the implication that lay within them. "No! She said you were just sixteen, so I had time to get used to the idea."

"But didn't we decide earlier that we were both middle-aged?" His voice danced dangerously between tones that didn't fully tell me if he was just teasing, or if he was actually serious.

"Jake, it's almost three in the morning. It's been a long day." I snuggled in against him, as if to say the conversation was over.

"Oh, so I get to lay awake all night night, wondering what you're thinking about?"

I groaned. "Jake... not fair, laying on the guilt like that..."

"All's fair in love and war," he quipped.

A small sigh escaped me. "Okay, honestly? I don't know. I've never really pictured myself as the marrying sort. And because of my mom and dad, and small town mentality – you know what people around here would think – I definitely never considered it at this point in my life or even within a few years pf this point..."

"But...?"

"But... I also certainly never dreamed that someone like you could exist, when I thought those things. Never dreamed what it could feel like. So... I'm not sure what to think anymore." Then I held my breath, hoped my words hadn't hurt him.

"Fair enough," he replied calmly, and I sighed with relief. "Go ahead and sleep, Bella... I'm sure you'll want to get up early to see the Cullens off."

I was surprised by the lack of spite or anger in his voice as he said it, and I placed a fervent kiss on his lips. "Thank you."

He smiled faintly and simply held me close. Again, my mind was at ease after I told him what weighed upon my mind. And I could drift off to sleep, without the fear of unpleasant dreams.

I found myself once again in a forest that felt like home to mow. My parents, the pack... they stood close by, and I could feel the unmistakable warmth of family. A large, reddish-brown wolf stood at the edge of the forest, and I felt myself smile as I extended my hand out toward him. He loped forward and placed the top of his head underneath my hand.

Then, for a moment, something felt incomplete about the scene before me. But then a small, chubby hand extended from beside me, and I looked down to the toddler who held my other hand. The wolf gently nuzzled my softly rounded stomach.

The feeling of pure completion that washed over me was so powerful that I awoke with a small gasp, surprised to find tears on my cheeks.

"Bells?" Jake stirred groggily, reached out to me, and was suddenly awake as he discovered my tear-dampened cheeks. "What's wrong? Did you have some sort of nightmare again?"

"No," I said with a light sniffle and a reassuring smile. "Just a really good dream."

He relaxed and shut his eyes again. "That's good..." And then he was out again. I didn't bother to wipe my cheeks as I laid against his warmth, and drifted off again, back to my beautiful dreamland forest, with all my family.


	26. Chapter Twenty Five

**Author's Note:** (1) I'm starting to go back through _If_ to look for errors and the like. Nothing will change content wise, just looking for typos and the like. (2) Check out easyasbreathing(dot)ning(dot)com ! It's an awesome site for Team Jacob and Taysten fans. There's fanfiction, videos, pictures, podcasts... all sorts of fun. (3) _If_ updates are now happening on the Easy as Breathing site the Friday **before** I post them here on Sundays, complete with pictures and occasionally video. (4) I am working on a few more Twilight stories. Two are going to be a bit shorter and I may begin posting those before _If_ finishes: _Hold Me Close One Last Time_ (which will only be a handful of chapters long, max of 10, probably more like 7-8), and _Night Wind _(based on a poem by Emily Bronte, planning on a chapter per stanza, so 9 chapters). Then there's a lengthier one in the _If_ series (not a sequel) called _If: Hidden Moon_ that I'm going to get to once _If_ is complete. There's also **another** I started even before I began _If_, so I'm not sure if it will get done, but I hope to, called _Angel of Darkness_. It's the only one I'm working on that isn't a Jacob/Bella fic!

July 2006

Forks, Washington – Bella

Jake was gone when I woke up, but the spot next to me was still warm. He'd stayed the whole night. I smiled softly, and allowed myself to linger for a few long moments, to give myself a chance to be fortified by the warmth, love, and sheer happiness of the dream – fortified against the sadness of having to bid friends farewell, and not know how long it would be before I could see them again.

I drew in a long breath, then rose to get ready for the day, torn between hurrying so I could see them sooner, and taking it slow in hopes that the day would creep by.

When I got downstairs, my father had already left for work, but on the counter was a white restaurant take-out box. "Dad..." I hadn't felt at all hungry in the face of what the day would bring, but I had to smile at my father's quiet show of affection. So I took the box over to the kitchen table, sat down, and ate.

I was about to head out the door when there was a knock, and I discovered Alice there. "I was about to come see you guys."

"And just how were you getting there?"

"My truck...?" I ventured, confused.

"Bella, your left leg is broken."

"You push the gas and brake with your right... Ohh..." I blushed in embarrassment. "My truck's a stick, it has a clutch..."

She laughed. "Oh, Bella! I'm going to miss you!" Then she helped me out to the car.

"Very sneaky, with the comb, by the way."

She grinned. "I thought so. But the flower really was from me... I figured you'd had enough expensive gifts from me. The comb was from Jaz, something he's had since the Civil War, but wasn't really to my tastes. You seem to appreciate old-fashioned things more than I do."

"I do?" I considered this.

"Well, you like Edward," she pointed out with a giggle. "And you're apparently still no fan of modern fashion, I see..." She pointedly eyed the outfit I'd chosen.

I had in fact work a blouse that Alice had picked out for me on our shopping trip, but I'd forgone any skirt or designer slacks in favor of one of my favorite, old pairs of jeans and a pair of sneakers. The only jewelry I bothered to wear was what I wore every day – the woven bracelet, and the little silver one with the hand-carved wolf figurine. "I think you're seriously out of touch with how most modern women dress the majority of the time, Alice."

She scoffed as I teased her, but had no real reply for me other than to eye me again and shake her head. I smiled, and tried to fight off the trepidation and sadness that had started to grow inside me. I'd dreaded this day ever since the Cullens had let me in on their decision a little after the ordeal with James had occurred. Everyone I knew from my high school had already or would soon take off in their various pursuits. I didn't doubt Jess would make the trip back for Angela's engagement party, but after that, I'd be by myself in college, and feel like I was starting over again.

As we arrived at the house, I pulled in a deep breath, tried to put the sullen thoughts from my mind. If I didn't, I knew I would end up having spent my last day with the Cullens crying.

When I got inside, the first think I noticed was that nothing had changed. Every piece of furniture, décor, even curtain was still in place. If I checked the kitchen cupboards, I was sure I would find every dish and utensil in its proper place. This would be highly unusual for a family about to depart in a few hours time, but I knew they probably did it more for my benefit than anything else.

The majority of the morning was spent in games and talking – I was highly amused to watch Alice and Edward play a game of chess. It lasted only a few minutes, and neither of them ever moved a single piece until Alice huffed in annoyance, and tipped over her king in surrender.

When they began to talk of taking me out to lunch, I insisted on just ordering a pizza. And as I ate, I watched them all rather wistfully. Alice had again fetched my camera without my knowing it, but I mouthed a wordless 'thank you' as she skipped about to take pictures of everyone – Esme and Carlisle seated on the couch together, then herself and Jasper as they shared a kiss, Edward seated at the piano as he played through a composition that I recognized as one that he told me he'd written.

After I'd eaten, Esme approached me, and I was surprised to see that she actually seemed cautious. "Now, Bella... I know you're set against any of us purchasing lavish gifts for you..."

I gave a slow nod, almost afraid of what might come next.

"And I stuck with that, but I also know that everyone's been giving you gifts to remember them by. Well, you've mostly seen me here, so..." She extended her hand, and placed a key on the table before me. "Not a gift, of course, but a favor. It would be impractical for us to take everything with all the traveling we'll be doing for a while. But, I do so love this house, so would you mind keeping an eye on it for me?" My jaw dropped, but she rushed onward. "You're welcome to stay here as much as you like, of course, in the downstairs guest room. I know you want to continue to live with Charlie, but it's usually nice to have a place to escape to, right? Or maybe have a party?"

I ducked my head as I sniffled, and Alice came to my side. "Bella?"

"Oh, I didn't mean to upset you. You don't have to house-sit for us, we can put everything in storage and lock the house up..."

I shook my head as I looked up. "No... I've just never been so... touched by someone gifting me with a whole houseful of chores before!"

That set everyone to laughing, and I picked up the key to tuck it away in my pocket. At least I knew that I couldn't possibly even begin to forget any of them, with a whole house filled with memories – both ones I had built with them, and from their lives before I had entered them.

After that, we went outside, which I enjoyed immensely right off the bat because it was of those rare, sunny days, and I got to enjoy the pleasure of seeing their skin shimmer like diamonds as they played. Races around the clearing that their house stood in, short and playful wrestling matches. I couldn't help but enjoy watching them use all their strengths and abilities, without restraint, as they played as any other family might.

Finally, as sunset approached, Edward broke away and walked over to where I sat. "Trust me?" He questioned, and held out his hand.

I didn't hesitate. "Yes." I reached out to take his hand. How could I not trust him, with everything he had done, all he would continue to do to protect me?

He pulled me up and onto his back. My arms went around his neck immediately, my good leg around his waist as he carefully supported the other. Then he was off into the woods at such speeds that it hurt to keep my eyes open, but I couldn't help but watch the scenery as it flew by. Eventually, we slowed, and I wasn't sure how far we'd gone.

"Hold on tight," he said, and released my leg.

My grip around his neck tightened, and he began to climb the tree before us. And I gasped in wonder at the scene that slowly unfolded before me as we passed up beyond the reaches of the majority of the trees, and I was left with an unhindered view.

I couldn't speak. Within my view was miles of forest, but also ocean and mountains, all colored under the warm glow of sunset. I watched it all in silence until the sun sank beyond the horizon, and I could make out hardly anything in the dim light of stars and a barely risen moon.

I felt rather than saw Edward climb back down the tree. I expected him to head straight back to his house, but he carefully sat me on the ground instead.

"Bella."

I was surprised to hear his voice at my side, rather than from in front of me, where I had thought he was. But I turned toward the sound. "Yes?"

"Everyone else has given you gifts..."

"I don't want anything from you, Edward."

"Why?"

"Because... you've already given me so much. And I know that simply by existing, I cause you pain because I cannot return your feelings as you might wish me to."

"Oh, Bella... how little you understand me." He reached for and found my hand easily in the darkness, and I returned his hold easily. "You have given me... everything, just by existing. How long I watched my family be so happy in love. Wondered if anything like that could happen for me, or... had I lost that chance by being thrust into this life. So not only have you given me this... indescribable gift of love, but you have allowed me to learn that I was capable of it at all. And so many other things, Bella."

I choked back a small sob that surprised me with its presence, only became aware of a tear that slipped down my cheek as his kiss there cooled it.

"Do you still object to my gifts, even if I point out that one is handmade, and the other something that I inherited from my mother?"

I sniffled and shook my head.

There was laughter in his voice again when he spoke. "Good. Because one is already in your CD player at your house, and the second I've placed on your charm bracelet."

I laughed a little as I reached for my bracelet and found a second charm now dangled from it. "You weren't really going to allow my to refuse, were you?"

"As the rest of my family has done so, I did not think it much to ask that you have something to remind you of me."

"I couldn't possibly forget any of you, least of all you..."

He was quiet as he reached up to wipe another tear from my cheek, traced the shape of my lips.

"I'm going to miss all of you so much..."

"It won't be long before this is all done with, and you're safe once again."

I gave a short laugh. "What is 'not long' to someone who is over a hundred and still looks like a teenager?"

There was some bitterness to his laugh. "I suppose there's some truth to that, but... I do not possess the strength to remain away from you indefinitely, Bella."

My breath caught once again, and my heart fluttered painfully in my chest. And in the next moment, I was in his arms.

"Never regret the decisions you have made in your life, not for a moment, for I cannot bring myself to even consider regretting any of mine, except that some have put you in danger. And I will not rest until you are safe again."

I simply clung to his shirt and cooled my forehead against his chest as I tried to calm myself down. I'd had quite enough of passing out around Edward. Instead, I focused on the things around me, and became rather aware of Edward's scent... it was somehow warm and spicy, despite his cool skin and sweet kiss.

He drew in a sharp breath. "I should get you back. We had planned to leave at nightfall."

I could not bring myself to release him just yet, so he scooped me into his arms with ease and made his way back quickly, but not with near the same speed as we had left. Everyone had gone back inside, so I had another moment to compose myself before we went inside. When he sat me on the couch, I somehow made myself let him go.

"Jake's coming, Bella, so that he can drive you home."

I nodded my head toward Alice. My head swam with a dozen dizzying thoughts, and I was grateful when no one questioned my silence. It was so quiet, that I jumped to hear the knock at the door. All at once, reality flooded back in on me, and tears sprang to my eyes once again. I was immediately in Esme and then Alice's embrace as Edward let Jake in.

"Don't worry, Bella. We'll all do our best to keep in touch," Carlisle assured me as he gave me a hug as well.

"I imagine you'll have little time for even schoolwork, for all the letters Alice is sure to write you each day."

Alice scoffed at Jasper, and I actually laughed a little.

"I'll manage, somehow."

"No goodbyes, Bella," Esme said softly, as I began to tear up all over again.

"Yes. Just... we'll see you soon!" Alice beamed at me. "After all, how could I possibly keep myself away from my best friend for too long?"

I smiled faintly, then hugged her again. Then I had to hug all of them again, though the one I shared with Jasper was very brief, and more like a pat on the back than a real hug. Then Jake, who had patiently and silently waited through this whole scene, helped me out to his care as he half carried me, and Edward followed with my crutches. He lifted me into the seat as my crutches were place in the trunk.

Jake turned to walk around to the driver's side, but found himself nearly face-to-face with Edward. "I mean no unkindness when I say this, Jacob... But take care of her. We'll all be doing our best to see this ended, but... I could not see myself or any of us leaving here under anything less than the assurance that you and your pack will do your best to protect her."

"Of course," Jake said tersely, eying Edward carefully, seeming not to take offense at his words so much as the fact that he'd crept up on him so closely. Then he circled around to the driver's side and climbed in, and the last thing I saw as we pulled away was Edward's face as he watched us go.

We were halfway to my house before he finally spoke again. "You're going to miss them, aren't you."

"Immensely," I managed, and kept my voice steady as possible.

He sighed. "He's in love with you."

I sniffled a little. "I know."

"And... you love him."

I drew in a deep breath. "Yes. But we've been through this, Jake. It doesn't change how I feel for you. It doesn't make sense to me, how I can feel this way about two people, but... you're the one that I want to be with, Jake. You always have been, and always will be."

He released a small sigh. "Well... you can't blame me for being a little nervous... I know how you are about gifts, especially expensive ones... and he's managed to get a diamond on you."

"Diamond?" My heart fluttered a little in panic through my confusion.

"Your bracelet."

I lifted my arm in order to look at it. On it now dangled a small, diamond heart that glittered brilliantly, even in the light that was currently available. I gave a short laugh. "He said he'd inherited it from his mother, but... it suits him. All of them, really."

"What do you mean?"

"It glitters in the light the way that they do."

He actually laughed a little at that. "They glitter? I guess that explains why they were so covered-up when they found me on the beach that day."

I giggled, then scooted over to be closer to him. "I'm going to miss all of them. I'm going to miss all my friends that are leaving. But I think that I can get through anything, as long as you're by my side. Nothing scares me, and nothing can, while I'm with you, short of the thought of losing you."

"Then I'll do my best to make sure you never have to be scared again," he said as he flashed me a smile.

"Are you staying tonight?" I asked as we arrived home and he helped me from the car.

"Sure. I have patrol in the morning, but, it's just as easy to leave from here."

"Good." I smiled softly as he left me at the door, and I let myself in. My dad had already gone to bed, so I worked through making a few sandwiches for my dinner... well, mainly for Jake. But I took so long that he'd actually already returned, and then came downstairs to see what I was not in bed. He carried the sandwiches up to my room so that I could make my way up unhindered, I hadn't wanted help for myself because I was sure if my dad was awake still, he'd notice that I made less noise on the stairs and would come to investigate. But when a loud snore issued forth from his room, Jake rolled his eyes, picked me up, and carried me up with my crutches into my room. He stepped out briefly to allow me to change, but returned quickly when I whispered that it was okay.

As we ate, he patiently listened to me recount the day I'd had with the Cullens. I skipped over the majority of my conversation with Edward, but the mention of the run through the woods reminded me of the CD that he said was in my player. So I turned to my bedside table to turn it on, and smiled to hear Edward's voice introduce what I recognized as Esme's song that he had written for her.

"Classical music?" Jake asked incredulously.

"Mmhm... Sounds like it's a CD of songs that he wrote."

He yawned, and I snickered softly. "Sorry, nothing against it, but..."

"It's an acquired taste," I agreed, and snuggled down into bed with him.

He was soon out, but I remained awake as each tune was introduced and played. But even I could not fight off the tiring day for long, and began to doze off until I heard my name. I glanced around, then realized that it had come from the CD. Confused, I reached to start the track over.

"Bella's Lullaby," Edward's voice introduced, and then the piano began again. Tears sprang to my eyes as I settled back down. I couldn't help but play it over and over for as long as I could stay awake, but it wasn't long before the lullaby did its work and I drifted off to sleep in Jake's arms.


	27. Chapter Twenty Six

**Author's Note: **I have a trailer for _If_ made up! The link's in my profile, if anyone feels up to watching. Sorry this update has come late, been busy busy with stuff lately. But I always make sure my updates to the Easy As Breathing site (link in profile) are on time (last week's was a day early) and it comes with pictures and lemon (18+) content. That's coming up in this next update, so join join join! Also! **Attention fellow writers!** I've been tasked with hunting up some new talent to join the EAB site, so send me a message or leave a note in the comments if you'd like me to come check your stuff out, I'll give it a look and send you an invite ASAP!

July 2006

Forks, Washington – Bella

After my last day with the Cullens, I took the next day to simply be by myself, which was easily enough done, given Jake had patrol earlier in the day, and my father had work and had said he'd be down at La Push for most of the evening. So when I woke up, I immediately set my newest CD to play and slowly worked my way through the little chores about my room such as putting away the basket of clothes I'd left neglected. I straightened up my desk. In one of the empty drawers, I laid out a handkerchief and carefully tucked away my gifts from the Cullens – Rosalie and Emmett's locket, Alice's rose, Jasper's comb, and the key to their house. I knew I wouldn't be able to bear to return again for some time, same as I couldn't bear to think of putting either of Edward's gifts.

By the time I had straightened up to my heart's content, I noticed that I hadn't had breakfast and that it was already time for lunch. So I made my way carefully downstairs and simply heated some soup and sat at the counter to eat.

Then I recalled that I had told my mother at the wedding that Jake and I had dated for almost a year – and that the three days would be up tomorrow. I sighed. Leave it to me to forget such a thing, when I could not deny that it would mean a great deal to Jake. It meant something to me too, but not in the way that it would be important to him.

I chewed on my lip as I tried to come up with some way to mark the occasion. Buying something was out of the question, neither of us had ever bothered to spend money on one another. At this point, it would seem a very hollow gesture. I did recall that he seemed to like sweet and spicy foods, so I dug through a box of my grandmother's recipes and found one for double chocolate cookies that called for red pepper flakes. After I hunted around and found that we had the ingredients I needed, I mixed up a huge batch – I knew my father would be offended if I used one of grandma Swan's recipes and didn't save some for him.

When those were done and set to safely cool on the counter, I went upstairs to wash up and actually change out of my pajamas. Another idea occurred to me, and I bit my lip at first, but decided I might as well. I sat down at my computer and proceeded to print out small collection of photos – either saved from my camera, or e-mailed to me from someone else. The picture Jake had taken of me at the beach, a couple others had gotten of the two of us together at my graduation, us together at Rosalie and Emmett's wedding... and even the ones Alice had gotten of me at my eighteenth birthday. These I tucked safely away in an envelop so I could include them in the box with the cookies.

With Edward's music still in the background, I set myself to look in on my e-mails. As predicted, Alice had already written to me. Nothing really informative, just a few snapshots of where they'd chosen to start off, their plans to split into two groups once Rose and Emmett joined them.

I couldn't bear to even think about any of them getting hurt, so I couldn't bring myself to comment on what they were up to. I simply commented on her photos, told her what I'd done for Jake for our anniversary, and told her to tell everyone to stay safe. I spent the rest of the day answering e-mails from my mother and friends. I'd listened to Edward's songs – especially my lullaby – so often that I was sure that if I'd had any talent at any instrument that I could have played it from heart.

When I went downstairs to fix myself dinner, I found a plain gift box and lined it with paper before I filled it with the cookies I'd baked earlier, tied the box off with a bow, and slipped the envelope underneath the bow. For my father, I left a few of the cookies out on a plate with a note about having used Grandma Swan's recipe. Before I went to bed, I noted that I was glad that I had stayed here instead of gone to Jacksonville. I'd likely have ended up in a dorm, and thus bored and lost at only having myself to look after.

I'd already begun to drift off when I heard the faint sounds of Jake making his way into my room. I perked somewhat. "Jake? I thought I wouldn't see you until tomorrow."

"Would you prefer to leave, then?"

I scoffed and sat up to turn off my radio. "I've been by myself all day. It was nice, at first, but I decided that I'm glad that I'll have my dad to look after."

He laughed. "Seems he spends a lot of time looking after Sue Clearwater."

"He does, I suppose," I admitted wryly. "How's she doing?"

"Not too bad... She's pretty much taken Harry's place on the council, so she has plenty to keep her busy, between that and two werewolves to take care of."

I laughed a little. "I suppose that could very well keep someone endlessly occupied." I chewed on my lip thoughtfully. "I left your gift downstairs. If I'd known that you were coming tonight, I would have tried to bring it up."

He just grinned at me and went downstairs himself to fetch it. Though my father was not yet home, he still did not make a sound as he went and then came back. He sat with his legs folded on my bed as he unwrapped the box. "So, what's the occasion?"

I lobbed one of my pillows at his head. "Jacob Black, if you have forgotten what tomorrow is when I've managed to remember..."

He caught the pillow easily and snickered. "You know I love teasing you." And then he was momentarily distracted with the cookies as he sniffed at one, then shoved it into his mouth whole. "Nice," he complimented after a moment. "Ooo, and spicy. I like it." He smiled then pulled out the envelope to explore its contents. A light smile touched his lips as he looked through them. "Photos of the girl who hates to be photographed... Even ones you swore I'd never see. Now I'm touched."

I rolled my eyes, but he leaned over to kiss me, and I blushed. "Well, to be honest, I mostly remembered because my mom asked how long we'd been together... and teased me because I didn't keep track of such things like most girls do."

"Well... I have to apologize, then. It's my fault she brought it up."

I stared at him a moment. "What do you mean?"

"That time she'd taken us to lunch, when you wandered off to look at books... She found me and asked me about us. I was thrown for a loop, mostly. I'm not even sure what all I said. But I know I mentioned at some point never wanting to be with anyone else, I guess I looked pretty serious, for her to bring up marriage to you," he said with a small laugh.

"Yeah. My mother and a subject like that... sort of makes it stick in my head more than it would have with anyone else." I blushed as he quirked an eyebrow at me. "Well, it would be the same if my dad all of a sudden started talking to me about how to cook, or you asked me about... classical music. If the person and subject don't match up in my head, it sort of sticks out in my mind."

"Ah. Right." He grinned at me and popped another of the cookies into his mouth.

"Oh... hush." I stretched out on the bed and gave a small sigh. "It's so weird... Thinking about not having to get up early for school in a couple weeks... All my classes are in the afternoon, and I'm working at Newton's in the morning..."

"All that 'life goes on' kind of stuff, huh?"

"Yeah." I turned to wrap an arm about him as he stretched out next to me. "I'm just glad mine doesn't have to happen so fast, all at once. I get to take things one step at a time... Living in slow motion is sort of surreal, after the past couple of years, you know? Vampires, werewolves, being hunted, then everything with school ending, graduation, friends moving on..."

"Bells... I don't think I'll ever get used to what you consider to be 'normal'," Jake said with a laugh. "I still get thrown by the whole being a werewolf thing... and you just lumped life around vampires and werewolves in with something as mundane as high school."

"Yeah," I said with a little laugh. "I suppose I should be worried about the days that are normal people's standards. Then I'll know everything's really slowed down."

"Glad I can be of service in keeping you in the bizarre life to which you have become accustomed, my dear."

I snickered, then we both quieted as my dad got home. As he moved around downstairs and we waited for signs of him either having settled in to watch TV or turning in for the night, Jake amused himself by listening to the way my breath would catch from his simple touches – his fingertips traced the outline of my face and lips, ran down the side of my neck, ran through my hair, twirled it about his fingers. As my heart began to pick up pace, he grinned at me and I glared at him.

When I heard the door across from mine shut, I huffed at him and scolded him quietly. "You're so unfair, Jacob Black. Doing things like that to me when I can't retaliate."

He chuckled softly as he dropped his hand to my hip and pulled me close. "You underestimate the effect you have on me just by being in the same room, Isabella Swan. Knowing that you're mine, that you love me... I don't need anything else but that."

I pulled in a sharp breath, then quickly closed the distance that remained between us. It didn't take long for us to become tangled up around one another, lips never too far apart. I could feel my skin heat and flush from being so close to him for so long. I kicked away the cover with my good leg impatiently, heard him chuckle lowly against my lips.

"I don't think that will help, Bells..."

I groaned as his voice called out to the side of my thoughts that was all for giving in to the moment. But the few moments of being able to catch my breath let reason filter back in. "I get the feeling we could be lost in a blizzard in Alaska, and being close to you would still feel like I was trying to sun-bathe in the desert."

"Sorry," he mumbled, only sounding half-apologetic as he brushed his lips along my jawline.

I sighed contentedly before I gave a shake of my head – partly in disagreement, mostly in an effort to clear it. "Don't be. That's always been the one thing I've missed since coming back to Forks from Phoenix... all the sunshine. But now I get to have my own personal sun with me all the time..." I sighed again at his continued efforts, a little frustrated this time. "Jake, stop that... my dad **is** right across the hall."

"Sorry," he said again as he pulled away from where his lips had been trailing along my neck, completely unrepentant this time as he grinned. "Your own personal sun, huh?" He smiled. "Makes me feel a lot better about my present to you."

I glanced up toward him. "Oh?"

"Yeah. Still rather nervous about whether or not you'll like it. But you'll have to wait," he teased. "Didn't bring it with me."

"Oh, so I get to lay awake all night, wondering what you're thinking about?" I teased in return, using his own line from a couple nights ago against him.

"Yup!" He replied without the slightest remorse in his voice.

I groaned and gave him a push. "Jake! That's so not fair! You made me tell you about an embarrassing conversation with my mom, you can't even tell me what my present is?"

"Nope!" He grinned at me. "All this nervousness has to be worth **something**... a good something, I hope... and I want to see your face when you open it."

I sighed a little, bit my lip to hold in a small pout. "Okay..."

"Well..." he began as he brushed his fingers across my cheek and into my hair, leaned in to gently kiss me. "I could possibly go get it..." Slowly, he deepened the kiss and I couldn't help but respond, move in closer. "But I'd have to leave..." I groaned at that, closed my eyes as he kissed down the side of my neck. "Or... I could stay..."

I sighed in a mixture of frustration and contentment, torn in indecision as he pulled me closer. As I leaned in to kiss him, he pulled away with a light smile and breath of laughter as I groaned again. "Stay..."

He gave me no other response than to lean back in to kiss me, and I lost all track of time, and gave no more thought to my present for the rest of the night.

The next morning, Dad dropped me off at work. I had actually looked forward to being kept busy, and therefore distracted. Unfortunately, I couldn't do much to help customers while on my crutches, so I was left behind the counter at the register and folding pamphlets that advertised hiking expeditions that Mr. Newton led every couple of weeks during the warmer months of the year. I knew Mr. and Mrs. Newton thought I was a bit crazy with the way I carefully made each crease, kept them in perfect little stacks. At one point, Mrs. Newton even asked if I wanted to leave early, but I quickly insisted that I wanted to stay. When she looked skeptical, I pointed out I had no way home since my dad was at work and Jake was busy.

Finally, afternoon arrived, Jake with it. I'm pretty sure the Newtons were just as relieved to see me go as I was. I heaved a sigh as I settled into my seat. "Wow. It is **definitely** not fun to be stuck with a busted leg in a store for hikers and outdoors-men..."

Jake laughed as he stowed me crutches in the trunk, then got into the driver's seat. "Well, it's not too much longer, is it?"

"At least two more months," I groaned. "And it better be okay by then, I need both my legs if I'm going to figure out all this maid of honor stuff..."

He laughed again. "Can't really help you there... Hey, mind if we stop by my place first? My sisters are actually coming to visit for about a week. I'm sure they want to see you... And I'd probably get killed if I spent the whole day out."

I smiled. "Sure. I haven't seen Rebecca or Rachel since..."

"Rebecca's wedding," Jake supplied with a roll of his eyes. "Neither has me or Dad... Probably won't again for a while either. I think she's pregnant, and Rachel's constantly claiming to be busy with school or work... Probably only visiting now because Rebecca is."

"Hm... Uncle Jakey," I teased as he shot a look at me.

"Looking who's talking, Ms going to be an older sister for the first time at nineteen."

I wrinkled my noes, but laughed. "It is a little weird... I wonder if they'll have more..." A small sigh escaped me. "Kind of weird, thinking of siblings growing up without me there to see it."

"So... you think you want to head down to be with your mom and Phil?"

I shook my head and smiled over at him. "That's what breaks and vacations are for."

he gave a wry smile as he pulled up to his house. "Good. 'Cause I don't think my dad would appreciate all three of his kids moving away."

I blushed as he got out my crutches. Before we could head inside, Rebecca bounded outside.

"Jacob!"

He turned to return her hug, easily lifting her off the ground. "You've gotten bigger," he teased with a grin.

She smacked his arm. "I'm pregnant, moron. Hi, Bella!"

"Hey, Becca."

Rebecca turned back to Jake. "Speaking of getting bigger... what's with the boys around here, anyway? You look like you're older than me, Jacob... even little Seth Clearwater... isn't he only fourteen? He easily looks like he's in his late teens..."

"Something in the water?" I gave a shrug. It was weird not having someone close to Jake know, but at least I was used to dodging questions from others on the topic.

"When did you see Seth, anyway? Didn't you guys get in just an hour or so ago?"

"Yeah. Sam was here to talk with Dad, had a couple guys with him... Emily too. That's just weird... He and Leah were with each other more than me and Rachel were. What happened?"

"Uh... long story. Hey, I'm gonna go see what Dad heard from Sam, okay?"

"Good luck with that. He wouldn't say anything to either of us."

Jake jogged ahead of us inside. "So, when's the baby due?"

"Couple of months," Rebecca replied, glowing as she said it. "Early September. Solomon and I decided not to find out the sex of the baby until it's born... Don't say anything but we're thinking of naming it Bill if it's a boy, or... Sarah, for a girl."

I smiled, opened my mouth to respond, and was interrupted. "NO! Not happening! Not my **sister**!"

I blinked, then hurried as fast as I could after Rebecca into the house. My mouth dropped open at the sight that greeted us. Jake and Paul were facing each other, both shaking, as Rachel stood between them with her hands up as if she could hold them apart.

"Jake! Don't!" Neither of them showed any signs of moving. "Becca, could you call Sam?"

Rebecca hurried to the phone, confused but willing to help however she could. Billy moved over to the two of them. "Boys! Calm down."

I went over to Jake. "Jake? Seriously. Whatever it is... I'm here, your dad's here, and your sister is right in front of you. Is it really worth it?"

He shook a little, but he managed to take a couple steps back.

"Sam said he'll be here in a moment... what's going on?... Is this because Paul likes Rachel? If so... seriously Jacob, grow up."

My jaw would have dropped a second time if I weren't so focused on making sure nothing happened. Jake had backed off somewhat, but he still looked like he was ready to rip Paul in two... possibly more pieces. And Paul definitely didn't look like he was in any of a better mood. I bit my lip and looked between the two of them for a few moments.

"Paul! Jake!" Sam strode into the house. "Whatever it it is, let it go." Though from the way his eyes moved between Paul, Rachel, and Jake, he knew exactly what it was about.

But with Sam now here, I immediately switched gears. "'Chel? Come on, let's go outside so the guys can talk."

"No way. No way am I letting my kid brother pick a fight just to interfere with my life."

Jake's mouth popped open to respond, but Rebecca quickly stepped in and fixed a look on her twin that only the two of them understood. Either way, Rachel allowed Rebecca to lead her out, and I was close behind.

"This is just ridiculous! I haven't even seen Jacob in two years, much less Paul. Paul develops some weird crush, and Jacob acts like I was planning a Vegas wedding with a convicted felon or something!"

I struggled to keep back a laugh at her analogy, but focused on responding quietly enough that her sister wouldn't really pick up on it from where she had lowered herself to sit on the porch steps. "Rachel, I swear... I'm sure you'll understand a lot more if you talk to Paul later. But I promise, Jake's only trying to protect you."

"Oh, I've been at college for two years, does he really think I can't handle myself when it comes to guys? Please!"

I smiled a little, but pulled myself out of the conversation as Rebecca tried to calm her sister down. I just glanced back at the house. The quiet was definitely a good thing, but I couldn't help but grow more and more nervous as each second passed.

Eventually, Sam emerged with Paul. He shot me a quick smile before he looked to Rachel. "Would you mind coming with us? My place isn't too far, and Paul needs to talk to you."

Rachel huffed as she stood up from where she had sat down on the porch, and leveled her gaze at Paul. "This had better be good, after that ridiculous scene in there."

I watched the three of them walk off, then turned to head inside.

"Bella? Let me talk to my brother for a minute. Then you can get back to your anniversary," she said with a grin.

I blushed, but nodded my head and sat down to wait. And then I gave a small laugh. At least I had proof now that my life would never be dull. I ran my hands back through my hair, freeing it from the band that held it in a ponytail. Then there was nothing left but to sit and enjoy the weather.

It wasn't sunny, but beams of light would occasionally peak through the clouds. The air was fairly warm, sweet-smelling from the early morning rain. I couldn't help but think that it was perfect weather for an anniversary with Jake – perfectly imperfect.

Thinking back on what today was inevitably led back to the night when we'd first kissed. On a beach so bathed in moonlight that the sand looked pale and white. It was almost funny to consider how many of my best memories of Jake centered around beaches, given how rarely we were presented with beach-going weather.

"Hey, sorry..."

I jumped at the sound of Jake's voice. "Don't do that!"

He laughed a little, dropped down to sit next to me. "Sorry. And sorry about... all the stuff in there. But when I walked in, Paul was staring at Rachel like... like..." he sounded disgusted as he struggled to come up with the right comparison.

"A lost puppy?"

"Yes!... Only not, because puppies are sweet and cute. And Paul is..."

"Paul," I supplied with a patient smile. "He's up at Sam's now explaining everything, I'm sure. Beyond that, it's her decision."

He raked both of his hands back through his shaggy locks of hair. I was fairly sure he'd been growing it out for my sake, given how I'd reacted to the drastic change when it had been cut so short. I made a mental note to tell him I didn't mind either way later.

"I know, I know! But he's so... unstable. We constantly have to calm him down. I mean, you see how together Sam is, and he still lost control just long enough to hurt Emily... and Rachel's just confrontational."

"Sam hadn't been a wolf long when that happened. Paul has for... a little over a year now? Not to mention your house is still intact after you threatened to come between him and the one he's imprinted on."

"I know." He sighed. "I just... don't want my sister involved with something so dangerous."

"Oh, but it's alright for me," I teased softly.

"No! No... But I've always been more in control than even Sam ever was. Paul -"

"Loves her," I interrupted softly. "I know she's your sister, but think of how Sam things about Emily, or Jared about Kim... even Quil and Claire. He didn't decide this, and from all you've told me and I've seen, her safety and happiness is his whole reason now... Maybe this will be good for him. In any case... would you really wish that sort of pain even on your worst enemy?"

He gave a short bark of bitter laughter. "I do every day, Bella. My enemy as a wolf is vampires, as a man, it's anyone who could threaten to take you away from me."

My brow furrowed as I frowned. "Jake... don't..."

"I don't, Bells. I don't really **wish** that pain on him, but it's a reality. I owe him everything for saving your life, and yet I have the only thing he wants." He smirked, but there was a touch of sympathy in his expression for our current subject of conversation. Then he just shook his head. "No. I wouldn't wish that on anyone."

"Then let it be. They'll make their decisions as best they can, like the rest of us. Now... can we get back to more important topics? Like... my present?" I smiled and held my hand out as I teased him again.

He grinned. "Not yet. Come on."

I gave an exaggerated huff of annoyance as he helped me back to the passenger seat of his car. "Now where are we going?"

"Some place quieter, I hope."

At least I didn't have to wait long. But I did have to put up with him carrying me down the beach – crutches didn't necessarily handle well on sand. "Don't you find it funny how many of our memories together center around beaches, given we live in one of the rainiest places imaginable?"

"Hm... not really. In one of the rainiest places imaginable, where else are we going to find peace and quiet?"

I giggled as he sat me down on our usual log. For a bit, we just sat and watched the peek-a-boo beams of sunlight as they sparkled and danced over the water. I sighed contentedly as he reached out and took my hand. But as I moved my head to look at him, he abruptly got to his feet and walked a few steps away as I felt something small in my hand.

It was a silver ring with a round diamond set inside a bronze circle that had smaller diamonds embedded within it, then three lines of diamonds halfway down either side. A breath caught in my throat as I lifted my gaze to him with questioning eyes.

"Don't freak! It was my mom's... and Dad's mom's before that. It's... part of a set, Rebecca and Rachel had them..."

"... Jake... are you asking..."

"Yeah? I mean, not yet, of course! You've got college and stuff, and things just quieted down... sort of. And I know how you feel about it, especially since we're both still young, but... I've tried and tried to think of something else, but nothing else seemed right, so..."

I blinked a few times as I tried to pull my thoughts together, then looked down to the ring settled in the palm of my hand. I smiled faintly. "Wow... and all I got you was some cookies..."

He gave a nervous chuckle as he finally sat back down next to me. "I mean, you don't have to say anything yet, or wear it or anything. I just... wanted you to have it, have a chance to think about it..."

"Jake... what exactly did you talk to my mom about?"

"Uhm..."

I laughed as he ducked his head in embarrassment. "Wow. Now that takes guts."

"Strangely enough, not near as much as it took to even hand you the ring. I tried to come up with the right thing to say over and over, and I thought I had it down … but I couldn't."

"Perfectly imperfect," I pointed out with a small smile as I held the ring back out to him.

"You... don't want it?" He asked slowly as he picked it up from my hand.

"Aren't you supposed to put it **on** my hand instead of **in** it?"

He just stared at me for a long moment before he picked up my left hand and slid the ring onto my finger. Then he turned to look back out at the water. I just smiled and leaned against him.

We sat like that for a long time before I poked him in the side. "You're being awfully quiet."

"I think... I'm either waiting to wake up, or for you to panic and run away screaming."

"I can't run anywhere," I said with a grin. "My crutches are in the car, remember?"

"Ha ha..."

I grinned back at his slight smile. "But, funnily enough, I don't feel like I'm about to panic or that I will any time soon."

"Give it time," he said with a small grin.

"As for the dreaming..." I leaned over to press my lips against his and draped my arms over his shoulders. It was a bit awkward to lean as I was, but he quickly remedied that when he pulled me into his lap with ease, then left his hands on my hips as he leaned into the kiss.

Eventually, I pulled back slightly to look at him. "Now does it feel like you're dreaming?"

"Bella.." he began heatedly, "you're wearing an engagement ring I gave you, we're alone at the beach, and you're kissing me... Yeah, that's pretty much me dreaming."

"Okay, Plan B." I grabbed the skin on his arm and gave a hard pinch. "How about now?"

"I'm built to fight vampires, Bells."

"Oh, shut up." I smacked his arm as he laughed. "Come on. I can fix us dinner at my house. Dad said he was going to Sue's again tonight," I explained with a small, amused smirk.

"Sounds like you're going to have werewolves as siblings, at this rate." Jake helped me up, then scooped me easily into his arms.

"Ah, just another day in my wonderful, normal life!"


	28. Chapter Twenty Seven

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the delay! Here you go, hope you enjoy! Don't forget to check my profile for some links and such! 3

**July 2010**

**Forks, Washington – Bella**

"Dad! Come on! You've known when the flight was for a month now! What's the hold up?"

"Sorry, Bells. Just double-checking everything. Just weird, thinking I won't be coming back here."

"Don't get cold feet, Dad. Besides, it's not like you're moving hours away when you're moved in at Sue's."

He sighed and looked around the living room before his gaze fell on me. And then stayed like that.

"Dad!"

"Sorry, sorry... Just... I haven't seen too much of you the past few years, since you pretty much moved into the old Cullen place."

I smiled. "I didn't think you'd notice, as much as you stayed down at Sue's."

"Yeah, well..."

"Are you blushing?" I laughed and walked over to give my father a peck on the cheek.

"Yeah, well... You're just so grown-up, Bells. Look at you... graduated college a couple weeks ago, doing okay on money... getting married tomorrow..."

"Still wearing t-shirts and jeans, clumsy as ever..." I smiled.

He sighed again. "You really sure, Bells? Me and Sue could tie the knot some other time..."

I rolled my eyes. "Dad! Seriously, everybody's going to be there already, why make them travel twice? Besides, it's not like we're sharing a ceremony. You guys are getting married in the morning at the camp site, Jake and I are getting married later on the beach. Now, come on! We've got a long drive to even get to the airport."

He looked around again. "I don't know about this whole flying thing, Bells."

I rolled my eyes and grabbed his suitcase. "We could have driven down with everyone else two days ago, but **someone **didn't want to take the extra time off work." I went out and tossed his suitcase into the back of the cruiser with mine. "You're getting married at nine in the morning tomorrow, Dad. So, we can either take the plane and actually get there in time to see everyone and - I don't know – **sleep**? Or we can drive all night and get there with just enough time to change. And considering it's your cruiser and the fact that I want to actually sleep since tomorrow's going to be a really long day... You'd be driving." I smirked as I climbed in to the passenger seat of the cruiser, crossed my arms, and waited.

A few short hours later, I slipped out of the car Sue had fetched us from the airport in, and right into Jake's arms. "Ah, you're in one piece. That's always a good sign."

I smacked his arm, but smiled. "Where's my mom and Phil? I want to see them before we turn in for the night."

"Actually... it was **insisted** that I drop you off at the hotel a night early." He rolled his eyes.

I laughed. "Why? It can't be about the whole not seeing the bride before the wedding thing, we're both going to be at Sue and Dad's wedding tomorrow."

He shrugged his shoulders, but before he had any more chance to explain,we were interrupted.

"Bella!"

I beamed. "Allie!" I leaned down to pick up the toddler that ran into my arms.

"Bella, Bella! Mommy's having a baby brother!"

"Oh really? Did you know that tomorrow, Jake's going to be your big brother?"

"Really?" She twisted around in my arms to look at him in awe.

"Really." I handed my little sister over to Jake as my mom walked over to give me a hug. "A baby brother, Mom?"

She gave me a little grin. "I know, I know. I told Phil we should lay off or our kids would end up aunts or uncles to kids older than them."

I flushed. "Mom!"

"What?" She looked at me with wide-eyed innocence. "No grandbabies from you two? I think I've got a long wait with Allie, you know."

I rolled my eyes. "My mother, the eternal teenager, talking about grandchildren?"

"Hmm, my daughter, the girl who's been a grown-up since she was five doesn't want her own family?"

I flushed again as Jake laughed. "Maybe. Someday. Look, Jake and I haven't even gotten to chance to talk about it yet, and I'm teaching next year. What I meant was, not to be offensive, aren't you concerned about having teenaged kids when you'll be sixty?"

She pursed her lips at me before smirking. "Nope! Come on, Allie, bed time!"

"Mommy! Can I stay with Bella tonight?"

"Uhm... Mom glanced between me and Jake. "I don't know, sweetie..."

"Mom!" I rolled my eyes as she shot me another of her innocent smiles.

"Uh," Jake looked between us. "Actually, Renee, I was about to take Bella over to the hotel."

"Ohhh... Right! Well, Bella, if it's alright with you?"

"Sure!" I glanced after my mom as she went to gather Allie's things, then looked to Jake with my eyebrow raised. "My mom wasn't the one to suggest that I go to the hotel?"

"Insist. It was insisted," he said with a smirk.

I sighed. "Okay, insisted. Who insisted?"

He just shrugged his shoulders and took the small bag and Allie from my mother's arms.

"Uh, Mom?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Do you know who told Jake to take me to the hotel a night early?"

"Oh, I don't know. Us old ladies have horrible memories, you know." She leaned over to give me a kiss on the cheek, then hummed happily as she walked away.

I huffed in annoyance as Jake laughed and walked to put Allie and her bag into the back seat of his car. "Even I know not to tease women about their age, Bells."

"Of course not! Because you didn't want to agree with everyone that thought I was too old for you!"

He just smirked as we both climbed into the car. "Doesn't really apply any more," he pointed out. When I opened my mouth to bug him to tell me, he swiftly managed to ask my little sister if she was excited about getting a little brother. I just glared at him as she chattered away the whole way to the hotel, and only calmed down when Jake got her and my bag out of the car.

"Oh, come on, Jake!" I trailed after him with Allie's bag in hand.

"Nope. Don't worry about checking in, already done."

I huffed again as we caught an elevator. He set Allie down just long enough to pull a key card from his pocket and hand it over, then followed me to the door.

I mumbled to myself as I unlocked and opened the door, then gasped. "Alice?" I dropped Allie's bag as I flung myself at her. "Oh my god, what are you doing here?"

"What? You think I'd miss my best friend's wedding?" She flashed me a smile, then looked over toward Jake. "Oh! Who's this?"

"No wonder the poster girl against marriage agreed so willingly. Can I?" Rosalie walked over and held her arms out for Allie as Jake rolled his eyes and handed her over.

"She has my name!" Allie said accusingly as she pointed at Alice.

"Oh, she's named after me?" Alice chirped excitedly.

"She's Bella's **sister**. Can't you see she looks nothing like them?"

"Edward." I smiled and walked over to throw my arms around him.

"Oh! Why's she named Alice, then?"

I smiled a little. "Alice is Phil's mom. But we just call her Allie." I glanced over to where Rosalie already had her playing with a doll my mom must have packed for her.

"Uh... yeah. Bells, I'll pick you up in the morning." Then Jake quickly left.

"What did the mutt leave so quick for?"

I shot a look at Rosalie.

"He hasn't been around us in four years, Rose," Edward pointed out with a roll of his eyes.

"So, where's everyone else?"

"Jaz an Emmett are, uhm, exploring," Alice said as she glanced toward Allie, "and Carlisle and Esme are on a flight here now... Bella, should Jake be seeing you the morning before the wedding?"

I giggled and gave Alice another hug. "What, you want me to miss my dad's wedding?"

"I knew it!" Alice hummed triumphantly. "I mean, I couldn't, you know... with everyone from La Push around. But... I knew."

"Yeah, Seth is thrilled that he's going to be related to Jake tomorrow... Geeze... I'm getting married tomorrow..." I blinked a few times.

"Go for a walk with me, Bella?"

"Oh! Sure, uhm... Allie, okay if I leave for a little while and let Alice and Rosalie watch you?"

"Bye bye!" She waved nonchalantly from where she sat on the bed, Rosalie seated patiently on the floor as Allie played with her hair.

I bit my lip as we headed out of the hotel. "So... no luck so far?"

He shook his head. "No. She's very good at eluding us. And it seems like she's figured out how Alice's power works. Half the time, she'll make dozens of decisions of where to head next, the other half she doesn't make any decisions at all. Just moves. We've nearly caught her a few times, when she's had to feed and one of us happened to get close. We keep waiting for her more basic survival skills to get in the way. We try to keep on top of her, make it harder for her to feed."

I put a hand up against my throat as a thought occurred to me. "Edward, what if she... my wedding tomorrow?"

He paused, then shot me a small smile. "She wouldn't do that, Bella. All the wolves and vampires? Besides... we're not exactly alone in the hunt anymore. The Denali family agreed to help out more than three years ago... and a small handful of hunters who were looking for... a challenge."

"I know that should make me feel better... but to know all those vampires are after her and she still hasn't been caught..."

"Bella..." He turned toward me, took my face in his hands. "I promise you... I won't let her get to you. My whole life has become the effort to see that you get to live the life you deserve to live. Granted, a werewolf isn't exactly the 'normal' I would have wanted for you..." He paused as I gave a short laugh. "You're everything to me. You have given me... **everything**. I will never stop protecting you as long as I love you, Bella. And I will never stop loving you until the moment of your last breath."

"Edward..." I pulled my head to the side so I didn't have to look up into his eyes anymore. So he wouldn't see me crying.

He simply brushed the tears off my cheeks. "You know, I don't think they'll forgive me if the bride shows up with red eyes... er... well, like you've been crying, of course."

The sound that came out next was something between a laugh and a sob as I threw myself into his arms. "This is so messed up, Edward. Why did you come? Why?"

His arms tensed around me before I could feel him begin to draw away. "I didn't mean to to hurt you. Would never... I can go."

"No, no!" I gripped the sleeves of his shirt tightly, as if I could hold him there by force. "No, I mean... I know this hurts you... it hurts me almost as much as I love having you here. But... why did you come? Why would you do this to yourself?"

"Because... you said it yourself. It hurts, but being able to see you... For the chance to see you in a wedding dress, looking up at the one you love... I would face all the fires of hell for just a glimpse of you that way, Bella. Even if it's not me."

I choked out another sob as I clung to him. We didn't talk again for a long time. Then, the only thing that was said was that I needed to get some rest. I shook my head, so he scooped me up into his arms to carry me back up to the room. I sniffled as I clung to his chest, ignored Rosalie's presence in the room as she watched over my sister as she slept. I distantly heard a quick, quiet conversation between the two of them before she left. When I refused to be put down on the bed, the sigh he gave was almost amused, but he went to sit down at the small table.

"Do... do you ever regret not saying something to me sooner? Or leaving that first time...?"

"Sometimes," he replied honestly, his voice tight. "But not near as much as I would have regretted what the consequences of us being together would have been..."

I finally lifted my head to look up at him. "What do you mean? I mean, other than the whole... changing into a vampire thing."

He sighed again, but patiently wiped the tears off my cheeks – his touch felt wonderful flushed skin. "Isn't that enough? Enough before you even consider the fact that you'd have to leave your family, your friends? You'd have to give up ever being a mother... I could never forgive myself for taking that away from you."

I stiffened in his arms before I gave a small nod. "I guess I understand, but... sometimes I wish I could split myself in two. I still don't understand how I can feel this way fro both of you..."

He gave a tight smile. "You should get some sleep, Bella. Weddings make for exhausting days, and you've got two to worry about."

A faint smile crossed my lips. "Will you stay?"

He chuckled softly. "Are you sure that's an appropriate request for a woman who will be married in less than twenty-four hours?" He actually grinned as I gave him a shove. "Only if you promise to sleep, and that having me here won't distract you."

"Sure. It'll feel like I'm back in my own bed and in high school again," I said with a smirk as I got up to go change in the bathroom. When I emerged, he was still seated in the chair, so I went to stretch out in bed next to Allie and closed my eyes. And then when I held my hand out, I felt the slight shift of the bed, his hand in mine, and then blissful sleep.


	29. Chapter Twenty Eight

**Author's Note:** This chapter on EAB is the first one with some _extra_ content. About 1700 words worth of it. So hit up the link in my profile!

July 2010

Point Reyes, California – Bella

"Oh, congratulations, Dad!" I had run up to give him a hug as soon as everyone had started to stand. It was far from a typical wedding – I was sure Alice's eyes were about to pop out of her head when I'd put jeans on when I got up, and if she could have fainted, I'm pretty sure she would have when I said it was because we'd all be seated on the ground at the camp site. I was just glad the Cullens could come, despite some of the tense looks from the pack. The trees were so thick that it was possible for them to come and simply wear longer sleeves for the occasional beam that would peek through. I know Dad was glad to see Esme and Carlisle.

But it wasn't long before Alice danced over. "Okay, Bella! Already jinxed yourself enough. Let's go. We can start getting you ready!"

I stared at her. "Alice... My wedding isn't until after nightfall. That's not for at least another nine hours."

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Eight and a half."

I giggled. "Calm yourself, Alice. I just want to say bye to Jake, then I promise to subject myself to your tor-... er... beauty treatment."

She huffed, but gave a dismissive wave, as if to tell me I had her permission. With a grin, I turned to go look for Jake, but found myself quickly pulled to the side. "Bells, we might have a problem."

My eyes widened. "Please don't say that today, of all days."

"Sorry. Turns out Sue's been talking to the council. She wants to tell Charlie about the pack, since it's going to be around him so much – her on the council, Leah and Seth still live with her, Billy's on the council... not to mention his son-in-law. She doesn't want him to be tempted to go off on any hunts for bears..."

"Oh my god... just what I need... My dad to find out some of my best friends are vampires and he's going to give me away to a werewolf... Where's Sue?" I spun around to look for her, then dashed off when I saw her standing with a tense smile on her lips as Charlie chatted easily with Carlisle and Esme.

"Dad! Hi! Mind if I borrow my new step-mom for a couple minutes?"

He shot me a weird look. "No... what's going on, Bells?"

"Nothing. Just girl talk."

"Uhm... okay..."

I beamed at him before I shot Sue an urgent, pleading look. "Please?"

Sue gave me an equally weird look, but as Jake joined me, she seemed to understand, and followed me off a safe distance away. "Bella, I know what you're going to say. But he deserves to know. It's safer for him to know."

"I agree!"

"Huh?" Jake gave me a startled look.

"But please, not today? The Cullens are coming to the wedding later, and the last thing I need is for him to freak out about his only child marrying a mythological monster... It was three days before I could even tell him we were waiting until I finished college after I told him I was marrying Jake and Mom pretty much told me to."

A faint smile came to her lips. "I remember. I was caught between him and Billy for two days because Billy wouldn't forbid Jake from getting married at sixteen."

I turned to stare at Jake. "Your dad didn't even care if we got married while you were still in **high school**?"

He gave me a sheepish grin and a shrug. "No? Well, I mean... think of it this way. Even **your** dad thought we had some sort of mythical connection. My dad was around my mom all the time, he probably heard it every day and night. Not to mention I've had a crush on you since I was about twelve years old, and never even mentioned another girl."

I blushed, but threw my arms around him. "You're so lame, Jake."

He laughed. "Okay, future Mrs. Lame. Whatever you say."

Sue laughed a little as she watched us. "Well, that aside... I see your point, Bella. Besides, I think your dad has enough to handle today."

"Oh, thank you! If you tell him as soon as you get home, he **might** have calmed down by the time we get back from the honey-" I blinked as I looked back toward an impatient Alice, caught sight of Edward talking to someone, and smiled. "Honeymoon. Uhm... I think Alice is going to physically kidnap me if I don't go now." I leaned over to kiss Jake on the cheek, then gave Sue a hug. "See you later."

"I'll be waiting," Jake teased. "Better not be late. It wouldn't be hard to find you if you got cold feet."

I rolled my eyes. "Not on your life." I gave a wave as I jogged off. Alice beamed when she saw me coming, but she scowled when I came to a stop near Edward. "Hi, Edward. Hi, Seth."

"Hey, new sister." Seth shot me an energetic grin. "You know, Edward's not a bad guy."

"Yeah, I know." I shot a smile up at Edward. "What were you guys talking about?"

"Uh... nothing!" Seth shuffled his feet. "Hey, I'll see you guys later." He turned and jogged off toward where Sam and Emily stood.

"What was that about?"

"Just getting to know each other a little better, that's all."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, right." I glanced back again and saw Sam and Seth walk off. But since Emily continued to calmly soothe the infant in her arms, I decided maybe there wasn't much to be worried about... yet.

"Isabella Marie Swan, you had better get back to the hotel with me right now! We've already missed one appointment!"

Edward rolled his eyes skyward as he laughed. "Better go, Bella. Don't want to freak everyone out when she manages to physically carry you to the car."

"Uhm... right. Good point." I gave him a quick peck on the cheek before I went to face my fate at Alice's hands.

A few hours later, I gratefully sank into a hot tub of water Alice had drawn for me, perfumed with something I couldn't quite pick out, with a stereo playing a stream of soothing music. I was glad of the hour she had set aside for me to just be alone and relax, even if it was under various threats about letting my professionally treated hair get wet or ruining my nails. Even as she constantly insisted I was beautiful to begin with, she said every girl should be pampered on her wedding day. I failed to see how subjecting myself to hot oil on my hair and getting waxed was supposed to make me feel pampered, but it was either agree or face Alice's wrath. But as I let out a long sigh, I somehow felt the hardest part of my day was over. Standing in front of the majority of my family and friends as I said my vows suddenly seemed very easy.

Eventually, I got myself out of the tub before Alice had to threaten to come in and get me. I slid into the fluffy robe and took in a deep breath before I stepped out to face the whirlwind I was sure was to come.

"Bella!" My mom grabbed me in a fierce hug. "Oh, honey... I can't believe you're getting married in just a few hours!"

"Yeah, I'm not nervous enough," I said with a small laugh.

"Oh, nothing to be nervous about, Bella! Believe me, I've seen Jake's face when he looks at you." Alice hummed happily as she led me over to sit in a chair at the table that was cluttered with an array of make-up and hair products.

"I drew in a deep breath. "Okay, let the torture begin."

Alice tsked at me, but patiently began to apply make-up. Rosalie had been seated on the floor as she played with Allie, but she looked up now. "Need any help? I could do her hair."

"Sure." Alice explained how she wanted my hair as I glanced toward my mom with a small grin.

"I'm sure Alice believes I would have gotten married in torn jeans with my hair in a ponytail if she didn't show up."

Alice sniffed indignantly as my mom laughed. "I certainly do not... You at least had a dress." Then she shushed me so that she could get back to work. At some point, my mom went into the bathroom to change and get ready, and when Rosalie finished my hair, she cheerfully took the task of getting Allie ready. Through it all, I was relatively calm. Until my dad showed up in his suit and I realized how late it had gotten.

"Bella, calm down."

"Oh, Alice! You're going to be my maid of honor, right? I had asked Angela but she told me it would be all she could do to get here in time for the reception, and then totally forgot! Allie's going to be the flower girl..."

"Of course! I even have a dress pretty much the same color as hers."

"Of course she does. We're here for a short time, and she brings half the dresses she owns." Rosalie rolled her eyes as she finished pinning her blond curls into place.

Alice stuck her tongue out in Rosalie's direction before she went to change.

"Oh, Bella! I almost forgot!" My mom turned to look at my dad. "Charlie, did you remember the box?"

He fished in his pockets and pulled out a small box that he handed over. Renee smiled as she opened it and put it in my hands. "Something blue."

"Something old, too... They were your Grandma Swan's." Charlie added.

Curious, I peered inside the box and found two heavy silver hair combs of intricate floral shapes set with dark blue sapphires. "Oh! Oh my gosh... thank you... I didn't even think to..."

Rosalie smiled as she got up to tuck the combs into my hair. "Don't worry, Bella. You can borrow my locket."

Suddenly, I recognized the locket as she removed it from around her neck. She gave me a playful wink in the mirror as she draped the thin chain necklace around my neck, and locked the clasp in place.

Alice danced back out. "Okay, shoo shoo! Those who need to be seated, go go. The sun's officially set. Time to get rolling!"

My mom leaned down to carefully kiss my cheek. "I love you, honey."

Rosalie and my mom left, and Charlie stepped outside with Allie. I sucked in a deep breath and stood to remove the robe that I'd worn over my dress to protect it from last-minute touch-ups. Alice hummed as she handed me a small, cascading bouquet of flowers. I suddenly recognized the scents she had put into my bath water.

"Oh, Alice... You can't believe how wrong it felt planning all this without you here."

Her eyes sparkled as she looked up at me. "Don't worry. I dressed things up a little bit. Not much... You planned pretty well, Bella. It's very you." She patted my arm. "Now. I'm going to take Allie ahead. Getting a little girl across an entire expanse of sand and have her stay clean is going to take some talent."

She left and my dad stepped in a moment later. "Wow, Bells..."

I flushed as I walked over and slipped my arm through his. "Don't let me fall, Dad."

"I won't," he promised in a tight voice that revealed barely constrained emotion as he gripped my arm and led me down out of the hotel, then across the beach.

There was no music to announce my arrival – I saw no point in trying to rival the sound of waves as they crashed and rolled up onto the shore just a couple yards away. I was glad Alice had let that alone. But here and there things had been changed – the plain white chairs had small clusters of flowers that echoed my bouquet attached to the end of each row, the torches replaced with clusters of candles, and an archway now stood above my destination, decorated with more flowers.

My breath caught as I spotted Jake, and I saw by the expression on his face that he had much the same reaction I did. He seemed frozen as he watched me approach, the spell only broken when I finally arrived. His face broke into a smile and he extended his hand as Charlie placed mine into it.

Everything else seemed a blur as we exchanged our simple vows. I saw his eyes brighten as I breathed out "I do," as I shook a little as he stated it firmly in return. Then his hands cradled my face, and applause erupted as our lips met.

"You can't get away, now," he teased me softly.

"I was going to say the same to you," I replied with a smile before I was swept up into a dozen sets of arms for congratulations.

A small cluster of workers from the hotel came to clear away away the chairs and archway before the rising tide had a chance to come too close as the wedding party went to a large terrace where everything was set up for our small reception. On the way, Angela ran across the sand dressed in a pants suit and threw her arms around me. "Oh, Bella! I got here just in time to catch the kiss! I'm so sorry that I had to miss it!"

Alice came to my side and handed Angela the small bouquet that she had carried before skipping off to Jasper's side.

"It's alright, Ang, really. I know you've been doing year-round courses."

As everyone was already up on the terrace, we started trailing after them. "Yeah. But it'll be so worth it when I can take the bar exam a couple years earlier. There's so much that I can do... It's been... stressful, since Ben and I haven't really been living together since we were both at Washington State... he's living down here now, but he managed to nail a job working on a movie as a special effects tech in LA, and that's nearly seven hours from Stanford, so..."

"Thus all the rushing," I said with a smile.

"Yeah," she admitted with a quirked smile. "Like I said – hectic, but so worth it."

"I'm glad," I said as I gave her another hug before we separated and I moved to sit down with Jake.

As we sat to eat, Alice leaned over. "So, Bella... I'm curious. If you had no idea we'd be here, why did you arrange the wedding for night?"

I smiled. "Because this is the same beach where Jake and I first kissed, the same date, and it was at night."

Her face brightened in realization, then she smiled. "Worked out rather well then, didn't it?"

"Mmhm." I turned to watch as everyone laughed and ate. My curiosity was piqued when I saw Seth lean to say something to Sue, who frowned, but I didn't have time to dwell as one of the hotel workers walked over and handed a microphone to a nervous-looking Jake, who stood and cleared his throat.

"Four years ago today, I tried proposing to Bella with all the right words, at the right time, at the right place. Even the weather decided to be on my side. But, at the last minute... I choked up, and proposed just by pushing the ring into her hand, which sparked a... rather interesting conversation," he added, drawing forth light laughter from everyone gathered. "But, in all the years between," he began again as he glanced down to where I was seated, "I have never once gotten to say those words that I agonized over night and day, so... I thought I might say them tonight."

My heart fluttered a little as I saw him sinking onto one knee beside my chair, his shoulders and head still clearly visible over the top as I turned to face him. Reaching with his free hand to clasp both my smaller hands in his, he drew in a deep breath. "Bells... From the very beginning, our souls have been connected. So powerfully that nothing in the world has been able to keep us apart. Through all the trials of your life and mine, we have always found our way back to one another. Found comfort, support, love, and friendship in each others arms. There is not a single time that I look to your face, and look in your eyes, that I do not see the woman that I could gladly spend every day of eternity with, but for now, I will settle for knowing that you have my heart and I have yours until the day they stop beating." He paused to reach up and brush away a tear that had just dropped to my cheek with his thumb, and though I wasn't aware of anyone but him, I was not the only one with moist eyes. Taking my hands once again, he continued. "Being with you all these years, being your friend until we were both ready for something deeper, waiting until you were ready for this day... it has been as easy as breathing. Because I know that no matter what, nothing could possibly tear us apart. And I look forward to every breath I take from this day forward. Isabella Marie Swan, would you do me the unimaginable honor of spending the rest of your life with me as my wife?"

My eyes welled up with tears as I wordlessly nodded and fell into his arms, kneeling before him on the ground, feeling his arms go about me as Alice quietly accepted the microphone from his hand. There was some smattering of applause, but it was mostly quiet for a few moments as he held me and I pulled myself together. Then music began to swell softly from the speakers, and Jake responded by helping me to my feet and leading me out to dance, prompting everyone to finally freely applaud. As I glanced over, I even saw my dad surreptitiously have to turn away for a moment to swipe at his eyes.

Neither of us was much on our feet, but we'd known eyes would be on us, so we'd practiced a few steps that at least were better than having everyone just watch us sway together until others got up to join us. After the second song, Jake handed me off to my dad.

"I'm really happy for you, Bells... Jake... it seems Jake really is going to be the best thing for you."

I smiled faintly up at him. "He really is, Dad. So... thank you for letting Sarah and Billy baby-sit me all those years ago."

He chuckled a little and bent to kiss the top of my head. "You two really are something together. You've always seemed to bring out the best in one another, even when you were just friends growing up. And, uh... don't let your mom pressure you too much about that grand-kid thing, huh?"

"Dad!" I blushed softly, but gave a little laugh and a shake of my head. "Don't worry, I won't."

He nodded and gave me a firm hug before he stepped away at the end of the song, leaving me to be approached by Edward, who extended his hand. "May I?"

I nodded and went easily into his arms, laughed as he set me on his feet as he began to whirl about.

"You know, we haven't danced since homecoming..."

I smirked. "Could be because I haven't seen you in four years, Edward... Even hardly heard from any of you, even Alice."

"Well, we don't have many chances to just stop and rest, Bella. We have to move often, and fast."

"I know." I ducked my head. "I wish it didn't have to be like that... but I miss all of you so much..."

"Don't even think about crying," he said softly. "We have to leave again soon, and I'd rather remember you like this."

I managed a small smile as I looked back up at him.

"Better," he said as he carefully brushed a loose strand of hair back from my face. And then in silence continued to hold me as one song flowed into another.

I breathed carefully, then glanced as I saw Jake gathered off to the side with the rest of the pack that had come for the weddings, and my brow furrowed. "What's going on?"

He sighed a little. "I wish they wouldn't do this now..."

"Do what? … Edward?"

He shook his head. "Jake's planning to explain. It's more his place than mine. It's pack business." He leaned in to place a kiss at the corner of my mouth. "Congratulations, Bella. Be happy."

I bit my lip. "You're not leaving yet, are you?"

He chuckled. "No. But I doubt I will get to have you to myself like this for the rest of the night." He squeezed my hand, then left as Jake appeared at my side.

"Jake? What's going on with the pack?"

He raked a hand back through his hair in a sign of agitation. "Turns out a few of them have been planning to work it out so they can go help the Cullens."

"What? No! Jake!"

He shushed me as a few nearby faces turned to look in our direction at the sound of my voice, then led me a safer distance away. "I don't really like it either, honey. But they made their points rather well... We're protectors, built to destroy vampires... awakened to protect our family and friends... And there's not much we can do, staying put in La Push. Not to mention, it's sort of crowded and tense with us all there. Just... a lot of them think this happened for no reason." He frowned. "And that's especially hard on Seth and Leah."

I trembled a little as I tried to keep myself calm. "How many?"

"Leah and Seth... Embry, Brady, and Collin."

A faint laugh. "Everyone who hasn't imprinted..."

"Yeah. I know Paul and Quil would go in a heartbeat, if they didn't have Rachel and Claire."

"So...?"

"Sam's not happy about it. But... I'm trying to convince him otherwise."

"What? Why?"

"Because... I know how frustrating it is to feel like I was forced to give up my humanity in exchange for this strength, then not having a use for it. And as far as Leah's gone to make us miserable, she deserves to be able to escape."

I released a long sigh. "What about when it's all over?"

He shrugged helplessly. "A lot of kids get to leave, at least for a while, attend college. The pack hasn't really been able to do that. All we can do is wait and see."

I gave a slow nod. "I think I understand... And I'm glad I'm more of just an excuse than actually causing my friends to leave again."

He gave a half-smile. "I hate to do it, Bells, but Sam suggest we get this settled as soon as possible... I'll be gone most the night."

"Our first night as a married couple, and you're going to spend it as a hairy monster," I teased as I tried to laugh it off. "Alright. I understand." I leaned up on my toes to give him a kiss. "Just don't let it seem like you're abandoning your wife by running off so fast."

He laughed. "Deal. Sam's got to call everyone at La Push first anyhow."

Worried as I was, I was glad to see that I wouldn't have to act like a carefree bride much longer. It had been a long day, and no one raised any questions when we started bidding everyone farewell before I turned to toss the bouquet back over my head and into Jess's hands.

Jake made a point of sticking around long enough to carry me across the threshold into our room. When he set me down, he disappeared briefly into the bathroom to change out of his clothes and into a pair of shorts. When he stepped back out, he leaned in to give me what I was sure was meant to be a farewell kiss, but his hands were soon at my hips as he pulled my body tightly against his own. I happily melted into him, reached up to put my arms about his neck. After a few minutes, he groaned and managed to pull away. "Remind me to kill Sam later... possibly Seth, for bringing this up now..."

"He had to, the Cullens don't exactly stop by for regular visits... Besides, it's not nice to kill the best man."

"Why not? His job's done."

I laughed a little. "Seriously, Jake. Go. Get it over with. It's going to take me a little while to manage to get all these pins out of my hair and make-up off anyway."

"Yeah... last thing I need is... **that** on my mind while everyone can read my thoughts anyhow."

I blushed darkly at the implications and gave him an ineffectual shove. "That's not even close to funny... now go."

Laughter on his lips, he bent to place a quick kiss on my lips before he slipped out quietly. I sighed after he left and looked around the room. But instead of allowing myself to dwell, I slipped out of my dress and carefully hung it up before I went to the bathroom and started water in the tub, adding more of the bath oils Alice had left for me. Then I removed the few bits of jewelry I'd worn and searched for and pulled out all the pins that held my hair in place, brushed out the curls into soft waves, then put it into a loose bun as I sank into the tub. In no particular hurry, I bathed and soaked until my skin began to prune. Only then did I climb out and dry off. When I went to dress for bed, I was suddenly embarrassed that I hadn't allowed myself to pack any of my normal pajamas. Just the things Alice had gotten me years ago – most of them still with their tags on. Those that had ever been worn had lasted only long enough for me to glance in a mirror, blush, then quickly change before Jake came over.

With a sigh, I thought of what I should have been occupied with at this moment. Despite Alice and Rosalie's presumption, Jake and I had never let things go quite that far. Suddenly, I felt as if I could go a few rounds with Sam myself. In the end, I decided that I was actually pretty tired, took down my hair and slipped into a short, pale white night gown of silk, then slid into bed underneath the covers. But because of the heat, that didn't last long, and I kicked them away before I was finally able to drift off.

Some time later, I jerked awake without really knowing why. The darkness of the room was disorienting, and I sat up to look around as my eyes slowly adjusted. I was able to make out a figure at the foot of the bed, and gasped before I slowly remembered the previous twenty-four hours.

"Jake?" I reached for the lamp on my nightstand.

"Yeah... don't, please?"

My brow furrowed in confusion, but I lowered my hand, then rubbed at my eyes. "You must be exhausted, why are you just standing there? Get in bed and get some sleep."

"I was thinking about it."

"... What time is it?"

"A little before dawn."

"... You don't make sense, if it's so late and you're exhausted, why are you just standing there?"

"Because, I came in and saw you like that..."

I flushed, suddenly aware again of the short silken nightgown. "Oh... so...?" I raked a hand back through my sleep tousled hair.

"Trying to calm down so I didn't wake you."

"Uhm... too late, Jake," I pointed out with a nervous laugh.

"Yeah..."

"... Jake?"

"Yes?"

"Kiss me."

He was at my side a moment later, arms tightly about my waist as he gladly melded his lips to my own. With a happy groan, I pulled him down with me onto the bed.

The next time I woke, the room was completely brightened by the sun as it shone in through the windows. A smile curved my lips as I relived the events of the night before in my head as I slowly awakened to my new world, my new, wonderful reality. Only then did I allow my eyes to open as I reached out instinctively, only to find I was alone in the bed. "Jake?"

"Bells?"

I turned toward the sound of his voice, then smiled as I saw him seated at the table, dressed in a pair of jeans. He drew in a sharp breath, and my brow furrowed. "What's wrong?"

He released the breath shakily. "Well, for one, you should know by now that I have terrible self-control when it comes to you."

I gave a glance down at myself and blushed before I drew the sheet up over and round my body as I got to my feet and padded over to sit across from him. "And two?"

"Two... are you... okay?"

"Okay?" I looked over at him, completely bewildered at the question. "I've... never been so far beyond okay in my life, Jake. I'm wonderful!... Okay, we might have to deal with high electricity bills from how much I'm going to run the air conditioner," I said with a small laugh.

His brow furrowed further. "Quit joking, Bella... I hurt you again... I'm so sorry..."

"Hurt me? What, by going to the meeting with the pack? Jake, I don't care about that! I'm kind of used to things not going with the 'normal' flow, remember? Me, crazy, clumsy human girl who woke one day in a world where her best friends were vampires and werewolves and she ran straight into it with a smile?"

He almost growled as he spoke next. "Bella! I'm not stupid." He got quickly to his feet to stand before me, pull the sheet down from over my shoulder.

I followed the movement with my eyes, startled to find a bruise there as he tenderly matched his hand to it. "Oh..."

"Yeah. Oh." He drew back from me, looked disgusted at himself. "I'm so sorry, Bella..."

"Stop it!" My outburst must have startled him, because he turned back to me as I jumped to my feet to wrap my arms around his waist. The quick exertion made me realize that I was, in fact, a little sore, but I didn't care. "You know how easily I bruise, I've done far worse to myself in my life. Jake, I didn't even notice until you pointed it out. Just... getting to finally be with you, knowing that we officially belong to each other for the rest of our lives..." I kissed his shoulder, not wanting to press my luck quite yet. "We talked about all this before. Being together... it's definitely emotional. But I'm in one piece... I would gladly take a few sore body parts to feel like that again even for a few moments... and last night was definitely more than just a few moments," I teased with a soft smile. "So please... don't let my obviously pale skin get in the way of the fact that we're married and on our honeymoon, Jake."

He groaned faintly and leaned down to kiss me, his hands slipped about my bare waist. "It's definitely far too easy for you to seduce me, honey."

"Well, naked women have that affect on men..."

"No... the part where you said we're married." He bent to kiss me again as I blushed, paused, then gave a sigh. "You should get dressed."

I blinked. "Huh?"

"Well, for one... we both need to eat. Two, we're about to have company."

"Oh!" I quickly turned and grabbed clothes from the dresser, not bothering to double-check what I grabbed before I disappeared into the bathroom just as there was a knock on the door.

"Dude, Jake! I still can't believe last night! Did that seriously happen?" I recognized Seth's voice, wondered at what he was so excited over as I finished dressing, then quickly pulled a brush through my hair to untangle it.

"I can't believe it either, Jake... thank you. You have... **no** idea what it means."

"Leah?" I burst out of the bathroom, then ran over to give her a hug. I hadn't seen her in about a year. Sue's story had been that she'd gone to visit relatives, but the truth was that she'd taken to her wolf form and left to avoid things since just before Sam and Emily's wedding last August. Only Seth had heard from her in all that time.

"Hey, Bella," she replied as she returned the hug awkwardly. "Sorry, getting used to this... human thing again."

I shook my head to dismiss her apology. "So... what happened last night?"

"He didn't tell you?" Seth flicked his gaze back and forth between me and Jake.

"Seth!" Leah smacked his arm and glared at him. "They're kinda on their honeymoon, you know."

I flushed darkly as Jake gave an exasperated sigh.

"Oh, right. Uhm... Well, we had the meeting last night, and Sam... well, he didn't want any of us to go. Said it was bad enough Jake's moving to Forks, and that it's our job to stay and protect the rez..."

"Jake, on the other hand... pointed out that we're just humans that happen to turn into wolves. Not the other way around," Leah added with a smile that clearly showed her appreciation for the sentiment.

"Sam tried to tell us we **couldn't** leave... and it would have worked, but Jake kinda... went all Alpha."

"You took control of the pack?" I looked at him, confused.

"No... kinda." He sighed. "There's sort of two packs now... mine's the one with everyone who wants to be able to leave."

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"Didn't want to wake you," he said with a shrug. "Besides... I'm sort of working on believing it myself. I never wanted to have to lead anyone. And Sam's been great, it's just... he has sort of tunnel vision when it comes to the protecting part. He means well, I don't blame him, just... he doesn't see things beyond the pack and who we're supposed to protect."

I reached over to squeeze his hand. "I think you did the right thing."

"We'll see." His mouth was set in a grim line.

"Oh, Bella! We're all leaving as soon as the Cullens can get out of here without, you know... blinding people. They wanted to know if you'd go hang out with them for a little while."

I glanced up at Jake, and he gave a sort of half smile. "Go."

With a smile, I quickly kissed his cheek and left to head toward the rooms they'd rented on the other side of the hotel.

"Well, hello Mrs. Black!" Alice exclaimed as soon as she let me in.

I beamed. "You're the first one to call me that."

"I know," she chirped happily. I leaned in to give her a hug, happy that she'd become so accepting of the fact that I had chosen Jake over her brother, seemed to know that I did, in fact, belong with him. Even Rosalie smiled over at me and offered a quiet congratulations as Alice dragged me over to a table to look through the photos that she had spread out from the wedding and reception, telling me the stories behind some of the ones taken after Jake and I had left, a few minutes after the few pack members had slipped away.

As Alice gathered the photos to slide them back into their envelope so I could take them back to my room later, Jasper walked over to hand me a sketch. Looking down at it, I gasped softly at the detail. "Jasper, this is... amazing..." Done in coal on sturdy paper was a picture of Jake and I as my father placed our hands together, then another sketch on another sheet of when he'd drawn me in to kiss me. The detail was so vivid, each touch of light and shadow perfectly executed. I was so touched that I forgot myself and dropped the sketches to the table and threw my arms around him. "Thank you..." He tensed, but managed to actually wrap his arms around me and return the embrace.

As I released him to turn and talk to Alice again, Edward was suddenly at my side, his hand gingerly lifting the sleeve the rest of the way from where it had shifted upward, further revealing the bruise on my upper arm. There was suddenly a fire in his eyes that frightened me. "He hurt you?"

"Edward, it's not what you thi-"

"I'll kill him," he threatened flatly. In the next moment, I was back against the wall as it took the combined efforts of Carlisle, Jasper, and Emmett to push him back from the door and hold him from leaving.

"Son, think about this."

"I am," Edward growled up at Carlisle. "Half of them still want to kill us anyhow? Why not give them a chance? As long as I get to him first."

"Stop it!" My shock had finally worn off as Esme helped me back to my feet.

"I swore I'd protect you, Bella. I don't care who it's against."

"Oh, so you don't care that it means drawing your family, **my** family and friends into something that will probably kill most of you?"

His eyes tightened. "We all swore to protect you. I can't let him do this to you, Bella. I'd rather die than leave you with that."

"Edward, it happened while we were making love!" I was too angry to blush at my admission, to notice when the various holds on him suddenly slackened as he stilled completely in the aftermath of my words. My jaw tightened. "He loves me, he was devastated and beating himself up over this. Probably still is..." My hands formed into fists at my sides as I struggled to hold in my emotion. "And if... **this** is what your **protection** means, that you'd blindly attack the one I love and endanger almost everyone I care about? Without even stopping to listen to me? I don't want want it anymore. So, excuse me. I have to get back to my husband. Goodbye, Edward."

I turned and walked as calmly as I could from the room and kept up the measured pace as long as I could. But I was only a few feet from their door when I broke into a run, suddenly desperate to be away. Desperate to be back with Jake. When I burst back into our room, I went straight into his arms, uncaring of who else was in the room. Did not notice the looks they shot each other before they let themselves out quietly.

Jake simply held onto me as I sobbed against his chest. Didn't say a word as I clung to him, dimly aware as the room darkened as the sun set outside. Only when I really began to calm down did he attempt to move. He placed me on the bed and ordered something to eat to be sent to the room – I'd completely forgotten that I hadn't eaten all day. But I still only picked at the food as he ate and watched me carefully.

"Honey... you've said goodbye to them before. I know it hurts you, but... they have to be getting closer now, with all the help they have."

I shook my head. "No... I told them... told **him**... not to anymore."

His brow furrowed in confusion. "Why?

Then I finally explained what happened, and his whole body tensed momentarily before he pulled me to him tightly. "I... hate him for hurting you, Bella. But I can't say that if the situation were somehow reversed... That I wouldn't need to be held back from doing the same."

"Oh, you're both so stupid!" I shoved away from him, grabbed a pillow to cling to.

"No... we're both in love."

My eyes shot to him, and I sat perfectly still. It was strange to hear him speak so freely of Edward's feelings for me. The subject hadn't even come up in the years that the Cullens had been gone.

"We're both in love with an amazing woman who somehow... has the strength to love both of us in return, and still hold herself in once piece." He drew in a deep, shaky breath before he continued. "Love's never been rational, Bells. If it was, do you truly think it would have led you to **ever** love either of us in a way that was healthy?" When I opened my mouth to argue, he placed his fingers over my lips. "If you want to argue that point, look beyond you, beyond us. Look at Leah and Sam, look what happened to your parents, to... mine. My dad... Look at Quil and Claire, Sam and Emily... even... Paul and Rachel. It **doesn't** make sense most the time. But it's the most amazing thing in the world. So amazing that we would do anything to protect it, protect those we love." He paused to smile at me as I stared at him. "You find all those stories and movies where people fight for love romantic. Why not now?"

"Because those movies and stories usually have happy endings, Jake. Not to mention they're **stories**... Not too many people really think about it from the perspective of the one that's being fought over, just the fighters. Being torn between you two... is **not** romantic, Jake."

"No," he agreed. "I've seen enough of that in Sam's head. At least Emily and Leah aren't natural enemies. But... look at what you've done, Bells. Half the wolves are willingly fighting at the side of vampires. **Leah** is willing to fight alongside the Cullens. I'd trust no one else to protect you if something ever does happen to me. And when it comes down to it... I hardly think Edward would have found it in himself to make you a widow. He loves you."

"Jake!" I threw myself into his arms. "I... thank you. I love you so much..."

He gave a short laugh. "Yeah, well... it's easy to be the rational one when you're the one that got the girl."

"You have no idea how much you've got me," I said with a happy sigh as I melted into his arms, touch, and kisses.


	30. Chapter Twenty Nine

**September 2010**

**Forks, Washington – Bella**

"Jake! Hey, Jake!" I climbed out of my car (my truck had finally given out the year before), energetic despite a long day teaching. Usually when Jake was home, he would come out to greet me when I arrived. Curious, I headed inside. "Jake?"

"Surprise!"

"Oh!" I gasped, actually very, well... surprised. "Oh, I totally forgot!"

My dad laughed. "Happy birthday, Bella."

I gave him a peck on the cheek, then went over to where I saw Jake standing with Quil. "You know I hate parties." But I wrapped my arms around him anyway.

"I know. Surprise!" He grinned. "Heard from Seth today... Sounds like they're actually getting close. Reports from all around to the Cullens say they're all closing in on the same point. Even if she bolts again, she won't get past them. Said they think it would be over in a day or so."

My breath caught in my throat as he pulled me in closer. Quil walked off to play with Claire as I pressed my forehead against Jake's chest for a moment, then leaned back to smile up at him. "You know, I totally forgot about it being my birthday. But I have a present for you."

"Oh?" His eyebrow rose curiously as he looked down at me.

"Yeah. Sort of... a new transformation."

"New transformation? Bells, what are you talking about?"

"It's called 'Daddy'."

His jaw dropped as he stared down at me. "I... Bella!" He gave me a fierce embrace that lifted me off the ground as he laughed loudly enough that the small group gathered turned to look at us.

"Jake, what's up?" Rachel asked from where she was seated with Billy and Paul.

Instead of directly answering his sister, Jake shifted his gaze to settle on Charlie. "So, do you want to be the one to tell Renee she's going to be a grandma, or should we?"

My dad's face lit up in a way I'd never seen before as he got up to come over and give me a hug. "I'll tell her. Should be fun, actually... wait... kid's not going to be all furry when it's born, is it? If so, not sure how wise it is to tell Renee."

The whole room burst into laughter at his comment.

"Dad... think about it... Do you remember Jake being furry when he was an infant?"

"Oh... right... Yeah."

"It happens at puberty, Charlie... if it happens at all. It's triggered by the presence of vampires."

I glanced up at Jake as he spoke, leaned in against him at all the possible truths of the future of our child. Somehow, I fought back the anxiety that would have sent me reeling.

"What about the Cullens? You said they were the ones that triggered you guys."

"They can't come back, Dad..." I pointed out softly. "They don't age, remember? People here would notice."

"Yeah... Guess so." Charlie ran his hand back through his short, curly hair that was touched here and there with hints of gray. "Well! No more of this sentimental stuff. It's your birthday, and I'm gonna be a grandpa. Sounds like good reasons for a party to me!"

I forced a smile back at him before he started asking what toppings everyone wanted on their pizzas. I shot a meaningful glance up at Jake and got a slight nod in return.

After that, I really did try to enjoy the party. I was definitely pretty quiet after the excitement of of my announcement wore off. Quil and Paul were the only other pack members to show up. Sam and Jake didn't talk much any more – not because they blamed each other for anything, but because it was simply awkward between them still. Jake's decision to embrace his birthright as an Alpha had made it possible for half the pack to leave. And since Jake now lived in Forks with me, only four were left actually on the reservation. Even Paul only came because Rachel insisted, but still he mostly kept his mouth tightly shut – a fact that Jake loved to joke about, he called Rachel Paul's muzzle.

When others would look at me, I'd do my best to look interested in the conversations, but I was highly distracted. By my news, thoughts of the future, and by Jacob's news. I'd not actually heard from any of the Cullens themselves since the day in the hotel. Any news that got back to us was mainly through Seth. I'd forgiven Edward that very night, but I'd had no chance to tell him. And now I had even more news that I wasn't sure how he would take.

I made sure to ask Sue and my dad to not tell Seth or Leah about my pregnancy just yet. Sue seemed to understand a lot more than Charlie did, though both agreed. When everyone was gone, I threw myself into cleaning up the mess that had been created. But I didn't get too far before Jake pulled the empty pizza boxes from my hands, set them aside, then pulled me into his arms.

"The mess can wait, Bells. What's wrong?"

"Everything," I moaned as I let go of the armor I'd built around all my new fears and worries. "I was so happy when I started suspecting I was pregnant. Couldn't wait to get home today after my doctor's appointment to tell you. But now I can't stop thinking about how much most the pack feels like the transformation almost destroyed their lives. How much you all have had to give up..."

"Bells... like I said. There's no guarantee it'll happen to our child." Despite the weight of the conversation, there was a lightness in his tone when he said the words 'our child'.

I slumped against him. "I know... but... I don't want to live the rest of my life without seeing the Cullens. Not having them be a part of my life makes me feel almost empty at times. And Rosalie... I know that she would love to be around... She's pretty much the perfect baby-sitter," I said as I managed a small smile. "You should have seen her with Allie..."

Jake tightened his hold on me and kissed the top of my head. "I know. I personally owe them so much, Bella. They all were always there for you when I couldn't be, continue to be there for you in ways that I can't. And I know that they see you as family. So I can't imagine that we won't figure something out, in the long run. Even if we have to make trips halfway around the world to whatever other rainy city they set up in."

My laughter came out half-choked as I tilted my head back to look up at him. "What about the effect they might have on the baby?"

He drew in a deep breath. "I wouldn't say 'might'. I don't think there's much chance they wouldn't trigger a transformation."

I dug my fingers into where I gripped at his shirt, the material almost giving away beneath my hold. "Can we do that to our child, Jake? I don't... want to be the one that selfishly ruins the life of her own child."

"I don't think there's a selfish bone in your body, Bells."

The laughter that burst from me at that moment was almost hysterical. "Not selfish? Jake! I love two people and ask them both to endure not only that fact, but that I need to have both of you in my life. I'm this weak little human human that apparently needs the combined protection of super strong mortal enemies." I tore myself away from him and began to furiously pace, my nails digging into my palms from how tightly I clenched my fists. "And now I'm even considering bringing the very catalyst that's wreaked havoc on the friends I've known all my life in to the life of my child?"

"Bella!" He grabbed me by the shoulders roughly, anger in his features as he commanded my attention. "Stop it. Just stop. You're turning yourself into some sort of villain, and it all only exists in your head. First off, not **once** have you asked any of us to protect you. We do it because you're worth protecting."

I scoffed quietly, suddenly deflated. "Jake..."

"It's true, Bella." His hold on me eased a little as he sensed me calming a little. "It's true. You can say I'm partial until you're blue in the face, and it won't change anything. Maybe if it was just me and Edward, you could claim partiality. But it's not. All the Cullens want to protect you because they've gotten to know you and how special you are. Even members of the pack that connect the continued presence of vampires in their lives to your presence want to protect you." He moved his hands from his shoulders to hold my face, brush away the tears with his thumbs. "You're not selfish, Bella. No more than any other person in the world. And honestly... not all the pack views it as the horrific thing you imagine we do. You're basing it off limited experiences to those of us you're closest to."

"But Leah and Sam, even you..."

"Yeah. The thing between Leah and Sam was horrible. And I did hate it at first, when I thought I might lose you or hurt you because of it. But look at the other side of things... Jared never looked twice at Kim before he imprinted on her, even though she'd had a crush on him for forever. Shy little Seth is, well... Seth now. More daring and adventurous than he would ever have been without the transformation, and capable of doing something about it. Rachel would have never paid Paul any attention because of his attitude. As it is, that took him months to achieve even after he imprinted on her. And he sure as hell didn't deserve someone like my sister. Hell, Quil loved it from the very beginning."

I smirked a little as I slowly recovered my composure under his gentle touch and voice. "Quil only loved it because he got his friends back and got to be a part of things again."

"But that's the thing, Bella. If this transformation thing does happen for the next generation, there won't be a separation to begin with. It was all fairy tales to us and even most of our parents, legends that were fun to tell around the fire. But there's so many of us this time. And you think for one minute most of us aren't going to tell the stories of the things we've experienced to our kids? That they won't notice?... It's not something I'd wish on anyone, to go through the terror of turning into a huge monster. I can't deny I hated that. But as their parents, we'll know what to look for. We'll recognize the signs. It would be near as terrifying."

"But it doesn't **need** to happen to them, Jake. That's my point. Vampires don't naturally gravitate toward little towns like Forks. They hunt in bigger cities where it's not as noticeable. Now that the Cullens know what triggers the transformation, they probably won't settle in Forks ever again."

"Maybe not." He drew in a deep breath and released it in a long sigh. "But there's a lot of vampires in the world, with nothing to stop them but each other."

My mouth dropped open. "What are you saying, Jake? You want to declare **war** on vampires, and include your kids on the front lines?"

"God, no, Bella!" He stared at me, horror evident in his eyes. "I can't even think about that..."

"Welcome to my world," I said with a roll of my eyes.

He raked a hand back through his hair. "I'm not saying war. Even though there's already one going on that's picking off humans. But there's still more people we can protect. Sam doesn't get that. He understands like the rest of us that we're Protectors. Period. But it's not bound by the limits of the rez and those living on it. He's just so focused on protecting our homes and families that he doesn't think there's enough of us to go around. So focused on the idea of the older stories when every warrior could fight to defend their people. But we don't have wars like that anymore. Like you said, don't have vampires who can really attack and slaughter at a whim because of the risk of detection. So, definitely not war. That would bring us under the eye of way too many vampires with far too few of us. But things like what my pack is doing now, hunting and ridding the world of a particularly lethal vampire? That we can do, with minimal immediate or long-term danger. Sure those... vampire royals or whatever might notice us. But vampires must get into fights and destroy each other all the time, or enjoy hunting each other down. As long as we **don't** make it a war, I don't think they will either."

I'd ceased to even think about our argument some time ago, and laughed as he finally finished his speech. "Wow, Jake. From convincing me I'm not a horrible person right into speech mode. You almost have even me convinced that's what you should do."

He grinned sheepishly. "I want to, sometimes. It feels weird that my pack is out there somewhere defending my wife against danger, while I'm here... taking classes, being married with a fairly normal life."

"You still get to defend your wife. I'd go crazy without you, probably land myself in a body cast. Plus, I'm vampire candy, remember?"

He groaned as he pulled me close. "That's not even funny, Bells. Now I'm going to worry about you every minute I'm not by your side..."

"And what about the moments I am by your side?" I tease softly as I slid my arms around his waist and sneaked a hand into one of his back pockets.

"Hm... wearing you out so you can't cause trouble is always a possibility."

I gave a gasp of mock indignation. "Me? Cause trouble?"

"Constantly," he insisted easily as he moved forward slowly, forcing me backwards.

"You're imagining things!" I insisted, unable to help a small laugh.

"You have no idea." He grinned wolfishly as my heels bumped against the bottom step leading upstairs. I flushed darkly at the unmistakable look in his eyes.

"You... could always show me..."

"Just what I had planned." Then I was in his arms as he bounded up the stairs to our room.


	31. Chapter Thirty

Author's Note: See my profile for an important message regarding the ending of_ If!_

_May 2011_

_Forks, Washington – Bella_

"Jake! Oh my god, Jake!"

His eyes shot up from some papers in his hand to me as I made my way as quickly down the stairs as I could, given my condition. "What? Is it time? I'll get your bag!"

"No, no!" I insisted with a laugh before he could get too worked up as Seth closed the door and snickered.

"Oh." He relaxed somewhat. "Sorry. You've just looked ready to pop for the past few weeks. Had me on edge..."

"I'm not due for almost four more weeks. Besides, I started showing early. The doctor said it happens."

"Yeah. Won't stop me from being nervous. Anyhow, what did you almost give me a heart attack for?"

"The Cullens are coming!"

His brow furrowed in confusion. "I just brought in the mail, how do you know that?"

"Alice just **called** me. They're going to be here in a few minutes!" I was beyond excited. The hunt for Victoria had officially ended a couple of days after my birthday, when Seth called and told us that Collin and Embry had caught the end of the fight between her and one of the trackers they had found along the way. They'd been disappointed because he was just finishing tossing the limbs into the fire.

Seth, Brady, Embry, and Collin had returned home a couple of weeks later. Leah had apparently decided she couldn't stand to return yet. There had been a definite shift in the packs. Collin and Brady re-joined Sam while Quil gratefully got to be with his two best friends again.

But the Cullens had stayed gone. I'd pretty much expected it, since they couldn't come back and be seen without causing a stir, but that didn't mean I didn't miss them every day. Alice and Esme had started to send me a letter now and again, but it sounded like for the most part, they'd split to go do their own thing for a while. By the time I got a letter, though, they would have moved on and I had no place to send a return letter to.

"Oh. Wow. So... guess there's no worries anymore about how to tell them you're pregnant?"

I colored and smacked his arm as he laughed.

"So... all of them coming, or just Alice and Jasper?" Seth looked about ready to explode from excitement. From the stories he'd told, he'd almost never left Edward's side because of the way everyone partnered up.

"Oh... I didn't ask. Sorry, I was too surprised."

Seth turned to head outside and wait for them.

I groaned. "I should have told them sooner somehow..."

"Not like they gave you much chance, Bells. Besides... I'm going to have plenty of fun watching the reactions."

I scowled at him before I had to go sit down. Because of how big I'd gotten, I'd had to take off of school earlier than planned, and it was a chore to manage to stay on my feet too long. But I didn't get to relax for more than a couple of minutes before noise stirred outside and I managed to get back to my feet just as the door opened.

"Ooo! Bella! You got so big!"

I laughed nervously. "Thanks a lot, Alice."

She tsked at me before she was at my side to give me a hug. "If we'd known, we would have been back sooner."

"I know..."

Emmett gave me a hug that lifted me off my feet, then grinned. "Nah. Not really that much different."

I flushed as I scoffed, then noticed Rosalie as she approached almost timidly.

She made a faint gesture toward my stomach. "May I?

"Sure."

She stepped closer before leaning down, a hand against my stomach as she leaned in to rest an ear beside it. "Ah... there's the extra heartbeat I thought I heard."

I started and looked to Jake, who pretty much mirrored my emotion in his features. I glanced back to Rosalie. "Wait... we asked the doctor about it when I started getting so big... he said the ultrasound only showed one baby, one heartbeat."

"Bella. Are you going to trust a machine over my hearing? The beats are hard to distinguish, it sounds like they're on top of each other. But there's definitely two."

Jake stepped over to give me a brief, excited kiss, and I gave a breathless laugh. "Okay... nice to have at least some time to get used to pushing **two** human beings out of my body!"

Rosalie actually laughed a little.

"Oh! Rosalie!" I tore my eyes from Jake after I received a faint nod. "Jake and I wanted to know if you and Emmett would be the godmother and godfather."

If vampires could cry, there was a moment where I thought Rosalie might, but it was broken by Emmett's response. "Hell yeah!"

Rosalie simply nodded, then smiled. "Thank you, Bella..."

"Of course you know these are now going to be two of the most spoiled children in existence," Carlisle said with a small chuckle.

"I know. But the best protected and cared for too..." As Carlisle and Esme gave me a hug and offered their congratulations, my eyes finally lifted to settle on the figure frozen in the doorway, and I smiled tremulously. "Hello, Edward..."

"Bella," he responded tightly.

I flushed, but drew myself up, determined to say what I'd meant to for a long time before I managed to lose the chance again. "Can we talk?"

There was a pause, then a slow nod. I walked outside with him. Unwilling to really show how hard it was, I went as far as I could without much care as to whether or not we could still be overheard. "Edward, I... way overreacted that day..."

"No... I had no right to behave that way. I should know better than to jump to conclusions around you."

A small laugh escaped. "I think we bring out the worst in each other a lot of the time."

A wan smile touched his lips. "I would ordinarily say the exact opposite. But, while you generally bring out the best in me, I can plainly see that Jacob is the one to bring out the best in you," he insisted as he gestured toward my stomach.

I scoffed. "I'm huge."

"You're beautiful," he insisted as I blushed.

"If you say so. But, Edward... I don't want to lose you... or any of you in my life. I know you can't really stay in Forks, but..."

"We'll figure something out, Bella. I found out a long time that I don't have the strength to stay away from you..."

I went to give him a hug, but ended up clenching my stomach. "Oh, ow..."

"Bella?" His brow furrowed as he reached out to me. "Are you going into labor?"

"What? No... I'm not due for almost four weeks..."

He chuckled. "Bella, twins come earlier. Come on, we'll get you back so Jacob can get you to the hospital."

"Yeah, good idea..." I started to work on making my way back again before another sharp pain stopped me in my tracks.

Edward reached out to grab me as I cried out and almost crumpled, concern etched across his features. "Bella, those are really close together... have you been having them for a while?"

"Uhm... I guess so. They weren't as bad as this, though. I just assumed it was more aches and pains from being this big, not like that's anything new. It's not like my water broke."

"It doesn't always..." Then he raised his voice his voice slightly. "Bella's in labor. We're headed back now. Not sure if she'll make it to the hospital." He carefully picked me up to cradle me in his arms and started back to the house as fast as he dared.

"Not make it to the hospital? Why, it's only a couple minutes away."

He shot me a grim smile as the front door flew open at our approach, and I was settled carefully into Jake's arms as I grit my teeth against another sharp stab of pain, grasping and twisting the material of Jake's shirt in my hand.

"Are you sure there's no time to get there? It's not far at all."

Carlisle smiled from Jake's side as he answered his question. "There's time to get here there, of course. But by the time you get her comfortable in the car and get going, or the ambulance gets here, she would likely have them on the way. Not to mention even barring that, it's highly likely that the epidural wouldn't even have time to be administered, much less take affect. I know a nerve I could pinch that will help alleviate some of the pain, at least..."

I cried out sharply and gasped for breath almost as if on cue. "Okay, here. I'd rather have Carlisle do it anyhow, if he doesn't mind."

"Of course not. Let's get you upstairs."

Jake took me up first to help me out of my clothes and to at least slip a nightgown over my head before Carlisle entered and was able to easily find the nerve and press on it.

"Oh... it feels like my legs are asleep..."

"They are..." Carlisle explained as he opened up his doctor's bag and began pulling things out. "We can't use it for long, however. If your lower body goes completely to sleep, you won't be able to push. But luckily, it looks like this isn't going to take long at all."

"Oh, good..." At another sharp pain, I gripped Jake's hand tightly. "Okay... at least that wasn't as bad."

"Yikes, Bells... I think you might have broken my hand if I weren't supernaturally freaky," Jake teased softly, smoothing strands of hair back from my face as he gazed down at me.

There was a gentle knock, then Rosalie's head popped in. "Can the godmother come in?"

"Rose! Yes! Just... no Emmett. I don't think I can handle his brand of humor right now."

She laughed softly as she came to my side and took the hand I extended to her. "No worries. I told him to stay away... I think Edward's got an eye on him." She glanced down to Carlisle, who had eyed her momentarily as she entered. "I'll be fine, Carlisle."

"I trust you."

"Me too," I agreed with a smile before I grimaced. Jake returned my hard squeeze with a gentle one, and Rosalie settled her cool hand on my hot brow, and I smiled at her gratefully.

"Okay, Bella. The next time a contraction hits, it's time to push."

A couple hours later, I was finally at the hospital, Jake at my side as I rested and Carlisle filled out the birth certificates with all the necessary information.

I groaned. "How long does a check-up take, anyhow?"

Jake chuckled. "Bells... we've only been here about ten minutes. Why don't you actually rest?"

"Ugh, I can't rest! I need to know they're okay..."

"Honey..." He got up from the chair beside the bed to grasp my hand. "I saw them, they're perfect."

"They were so small," I said with a sigh.

He brushed a few strands of hair back from my face. "They're twins, and they were born about a month early. If you don't believe me, Carlisle said they were perfectly healthy, and in a couple weeks, they'll pretty much catch up to the size they should be."

I smiled wanly. "They were kind of inside me for almost nine months. You'll have to get used to the attachment issues."

He chuckled. "Deal. Okay... let's think about names?"

"Hm... good distraction point. We were just thinking of one boy name or one girl name... Rebecca took Billy for her boy, and Sarah for the girl a few months ago... Oh! Charles Ephraim?"

He grinned. "I like that."

"Yeah... Okay... One down, one to go..."

"Bella?" Rosalie poked her head in the door.

"Oh! Rosalie! I thought you guys couldn't come here... Carlisle said it was a big enough risk for him."

"He called and said the staff on the floor right now is mostly new... and Emmett was too eager to keep away much longer..."

"Yeah! I've got god-fathering to do!" Emmett popped in behind Rosalie. "Hey, they're not here?"

"Doctor's checking them. Bella's going a bit crazy, so we're thinking of names."

"Ooo! What have you got so far?" Alice danced over to my other side.

"Charles Ephraim," I managed as I stifled a yawn.

"Oh! Anthony Carlisle?"

I glanced to Alice, my brow furrowed. "I get the Carlisle part, why Anthony?"

"It's my middle name," Edward admitted as he stepped in last after Esme and Jasper, a scowl on his face as he looked at Alice. "That was way beyond appropriate, Alice."

She sniffed and turned away.

"No, no!" I glanced up at Jake, who shot me a smile in return. "We like it. Charles Ephraim and Anthony Carlisle."

"I don't know..." Edward hedged.

"I do," Jake stated firmly. "What's more appropriate than naming a child than naming a child after someone who's saved the mother's life?"

"Knock, knock!" A nurse stepped in through the door, a small blue bundle in her arms. "Oh! Well... there really shouldn't be this many visitors at once... but... if Mommy insists..."

"Mommy insists," I stated firmly, suddenly filled with energy as I held out my arms.

"Okay then!" She beamed as she carefully deposited the baby in my arms. "But not too long, okay? You need rest, and Dr. Shaye is due here in about forty-five minutes, and she's a big stickler is a big stickler about rules."

Carlisle had followed in behind her, and set the second bundle into Jake's arms as the nurse slipped out. "We'd need to leave then. I worked with Dr. Shaye. She'd remember us." He smiled at me and Jake. "They're both perfectly fine. So, thought of names yet?"

"Charles Ephraim and Anthony Carlisle," I answered softly as I lightly touched the tiny fist and sniffled quietly.

"Bells? What's wrong?"

"Oh... just suddenly very grateful for all the extraordinary things and people in my life... I don't think I would have found myself here any other way..."

Jake leaned down to kiss me. "I think we'd all pretty much agree that you're the extraordinary one."

"Even I think you're pretty amazing, Bella... and you know how I am," Rosalie said with a small laugh.

"Mmhm... I know... that's why I trust you with them..." I yawned again and allowed her to take the baby from my arms.

Jake cursed softly. "I totally forgot to call Charlie. Always figured I'd have time beforehand." He handed his bundle over to Emmett.

I smiled faintly as I sank down further in the bed and Alice pulled the sheet further up my body. "Hope he gets here before you guys have to leave..."

"I suppose Sue followed through with her plan to tell him about everything?" Edward asked, still at a distance as everyone else took turns holding the twins.

"Yeah... he freaked," I admitted with a small yawn. "Took longer than usual for him to calm down... Hung around the house so much when we got back I was afraid he was going to move back in or something. But he was calmer about you guys, funnily enough..."

"Hard not to be, considering you can see that the mutts can lose control with that Emily girl, and nothing with us..." Rosalie glanced around at all the gazes settled on her – a mixture of anger and incredulity. "Sorry, sorry... old habits die hard."

"I don't get it. I know Dad's heard their legends too, at this point..."

"Yeah. But he knows Dr. Cullen pretty well, and probably thinks of it the same way you do." Jake walked back in and settled in the chair beside me. "Charlie was at the station, so he'll be here in a couple minutes."

"This should be fun." Emmett said with a smirk as he peeked over Esme's shoulder as she cradled Charles.

"You know, Emmett... I never would have pegged you as the sort to be so fascinated with babies..."

He shot me a grin. "What? They're awesome! So tiny and fragile, and in just a few short years, they're all... human sized, and well... still fragile."

I smiled faintly. "Well, hopefully the years won't seem as short to me..." Then, against my struggles to remain awake, I dozed off.

The next time I was aware, it was dark in my room, and I groaned. "I missed my dad..."

"No, you didn't. You were awake... Guess you were pretty out of it, though."

"Yeah..."

"How did you know I was here?"

"I'm fairly used to being watched every minute of the day, have been since high school... so where's Jake?"

"Some... council meeting?"

"Oh... right." I settled more deeply into the bed.

"Guess it's pretty big, the way he was guarding his thoughts. Not too hard, though, considering... now he has two sons."

I smiled languidly. "Yeah... I'm still working on believing it myself."

"Bella..." He was at my side a moment later, and he brushed my bangs back from my face. "I am... more touched than you know by the gesture, but... you really don't... be right back."

Then he was gone, and I was only confused for a moment before the door opened and a man stepped inside. "Oh, you're awake."

"Yeah, sort of slept all day."

"Perfectly natural, given your day." He shot me a winning smile. "My name's Riley Biers, I'm the nurse on duty tonight," he explained as he gave me a quick check.

"Oh... right. Didn't you graduate a year ahead of me? And... take off the day after?"

He chuckled. "Yeah. Couldn't think of anything better than to get away from sleepy little Forks, ran straight for Seattle... had a couple crazy years, but finally settled, went to college... decided Forks was worth a second chance."

"Yeah, it is," I agreed with a smile.

"Alright, let me know if you need anything... the twins are doing really well, would you like them brought in?" he laughed at my eager nod, said they'd be her in a couple minutes. Edward stayed out of sight long enough for them to be brought in, fast asleep in their clear little bassinets.

Then he was back at my side as I worked to get up. "Oh, Edward? … Shut up."

He shot me a bewildered look.

"The name thing." I gestured to the cards bearing their names. "It's already done, see? Besides... Jake said it earlier, remember?"

"I suppose..."

I glanced over at him, tilted my head to the side. "Edward... did you even hold one of them earlier?"

He let out a soft breath. "No..."

I rolled my eyes toward the ceiling before I gently lifted Anthony, and settled him into Edward's arms as his breath caught. "Wow... now I sort of know what it's like for vampires to be able to read human responses so easily..."

He smiled, but didn't look up.

"Hey... what else did you mean? That night, when you were listing off reasons that you're glad I get to, well... have a human life? I've always felt like there was more you didn't say."

"What, you need more excuses beyond giving all this up?"

"No," I said with a soft laugh as I sat back down on the bed. "but I get the feeling there was something else... that still bothers you."

He offered me a little smile, only tearing his eyes from the small bundle in his arms for a moment. "I wouldn't say it's something that bothers me, more that... it's a truth that then was just a vague thought, but now... I know to be a vital truth in my life." Carefully, he settled my baby back into his bassinet, then sat next to me and took my hand. "I know that this will likely anger you, Bella. But it was just the way of things. From the moment I knew my feelings for you, I knew I could not possibly exist in a world that did not have you in it. For that, I suppose I've always been a bit selfish, wanting to keep you alive for as long as possible. So I could not help but ignore your request to stop protecting you."

"No, Edward, I... I forgave you for that that very night. And... I cannot bear the thought of you... You can't do that, what about your family? They would miss you so much..."

"It was just something that was a fact, Bella. Leaving my family... was the only part I would have regretted. But whether you had chosen me or Jake, once you were gone... I would have made sure that I was not long in following you."

There was a deep frown on my face, but I perked slightly. "Wait... would have? As in, not any more?"

"As in not anymore," he replied with a faint smile, then glanced back to the bassinets. "Now... I cannot imagine myself giving up my life when there would be your children, your grandchildren to protect. While there is one single drop of you left in this world, I will stop at nothing to protect it, and will gladly spend eternity seeing to it that they stay safe, and will always know who you were..."

I sniffled softly as I leaned over to wrap my arms around him. "Thank you, Edward..."

"No... thank you for giving me a reason for being, for having lived this life."

Laughing a little, I settled back onto the bed. "So glad I could be of service, Mr. Cullen," I teased.

He just chuckled as he reached out to pick up Charles this time, lightly touching the little balled-up fist, resting his pale finger against the tan flesh. "You can read all the medical journals in the world, but nothing really prepares you... for this." He stared down at him a little longer before he released a soft sigh. "Jake's on the way. I know you two haven't gotten to be alone since this all started." He settled the baby back down, kissed my cheek, and then was gone.

A few moments later, Jake entered and soon had me in his arms, sighing contentedly. "This day has been far too hectic... I've been waiting to have you to myself all day."

I returned the hug and gave a little grin. "Hate to tell you, Jake, but with twins... there's not going to be a whole lot of time for you to have me to yourself."

"I know, I know. I meant... Us, all... four of us," he said with a happy smile, turning to look in on them.

I nodded my agreement, reaching out to hold his hand as we sat on the edge of the bed and simply watched them sleep. But the quiet didn't seem to last long, as soon, little Anthony screwed up his face and began to fuss. I picked him up, soothing him as I lowered the shoulder to my hospital gown in order to feed him.

Jacob just watched me with a gentle smile before he cocked his head to the side. "Hey, I know you were dead-set on breast feeding before, but with twins... won't it be too... hectic?"

I laughed softly. "I suppose it might be, especially since they won't necessarily both need to be fed at the same time. It might make sense to work in formula at some point. But, I think... for the first couple of weeks or so, I'd just like to do this."

He nodded, reaching for Charles as he began to fuss. "While they're catching up to the size they're supposed to be and such."

"Right." I flashed him a smile as he scooted close to me to support Charles as I held Anthony, slipping the arm closest to me about my waist. My head went onto his shoulder as we gazed down at the identical little bundles in our arms.

Over the next few days, I realized just how helpful having Rosalie about was. During the night, she was often in their room, tending to them if they awake for something other than feedings, quietly calling my name through the monitor when they were hungry. However, instinct would often pull me awake during the night and I would go in and sit with her, holding one or both of them and listening quietly as she would tell them stories, occasionally slipping in one about herself. In the quiet times, when they were both asleep, she and I would just sit together to watch them, or rock them as they slept.

Several times, I would doze off as well, only to wake hours later to find myself back in bed next to Jake. One night, when the twins were a couple months old, this happened, but I woke much sooner to an empty bed. Blinking a few times in the darkness, I realized that I heard his voice coming through the baby monitor, but in a language I didn't quiet understand, but quickly recognized to be Quileute. I hardly understood any of it, only catching a familiar word here or there. It sounded as if he were telling the history of the Quileute, and I smiled as I fell back against my pillow to listen. Jake had really only begun to intensely study the language once he'd graduated, so it still did not flow as easily as it might for one of the elders. At one point, he paused, as if struggling to recall the proper word. Then I heard Rosalie's soft voice pitch in, supplying him with the word with perfect pronunciation.

That in itself was a surprise, to realize that this had obviously been occurring often enough that she knew this particular story already, but the true surprise came a moment later. "Thanks, Rose," Jake replied before launching back into the story.

I stared up at the ceiling for a few moments before I smiled. Slowly, over time, the Cullens had become an innate part of our lives again. Carlisle and Esme had left to avoid the chance of being seem bu those that would recognize them and know they still looked very young. Alice and Jasper spent more time gone than in Forks, but Rosalie, Emmett, and Edward had moved back into their place, deciding their supposed ages weren't too far of a stretch for their appearances just yet, even if they were spotted by a human with as little as they were near town. And somehow... their lives and ours folded together neatly. We were never without the perfect baby-sitters when we'd go to work or decided to go out for a while on the weekends. Rosalie's presence at night lessened as the twins grew older and the twins needed night-time attention less and less.

Sam's pack was often disgruntled by the presence of the Cullens, few as they were, and could not understand how Jake and his pack came to accept them so easily. So much that on weekends when everyone would gather out our house, Emmett and Edward would find themselves in wrestling matches with the wolves, sometimes even taking them on phased.

Rachel and Paul finally got married in February 2013 when she found she was pregnant, and that was the first time we saw Leah since she had left with the Cullens in 2010. She stayed with us for a couple of months, since she declared things at her old place 'too crowded' since Seth's girlfriend pretty much lived there. She seemed to slowly adjust to life as a human again, happily took up baby-sitting for us when the Cullens left for a while. But when news of Sam and Emily's second baby came around, she was gone again.

Life became almost 'normal' for a while. During the week, we'd take the twins down to La Push where Emily cheerfully took on the responsibilities of running what jokingly became known as the 'baby pack daycare' – the twins (who everyone decided to dub AC and Remy instead of Anthony and Charles), Sam and Emily's kids Levi and Mirabelle (Belle), Rachel and Paul's daughter Emmie, and Jared and Kim's son Lape.

And for once, for a while, normal felt wonderful.


	32. Chapter Thirty One

_June 2014_

_Forks, Washington – Bella_

"AC! Remy!"

The two boys tan out of their downstairs room. As they grew, we realized that it would be better for them to have a larger space downstairs, along with an additional bathroom, so they wouldn't have to be up and down the stairs. So in the months leading up to their third birthday, Jake had worked on adding to the downstairs, and had everything ready to go for them to get moved in on their birthday, which they had enjoyed immensely.

"Yes, Momma?" AC asked curiously as Remy fussed discontentedly with his pony-tail.

"Momma, I wanna cut my hair like Daddy's!"

AC looked aghast as I frowned a little, but nodded a little. "We'll talk to Daddy about it later, okay?" Remy nodded in response. "For now, we're going to surprise Daddy and go pick him up from work and go out to eat. How's that sound?"

They both perked right away and nodded their heads.

"Okay. So, you guys go put your shoes on, and change into these shirts, okay?" I handed over a couple of t-shirts I'd gotten the day before. While they were off getting ready, I brushed my hair back into a pony-tail and quickly braided it before Remy returned to allow me to comb the tangles from his hair and put it back up. When they were both ready, I stood up to look at them and smiled. "Okay, let's go!"

Leading them outside, I loaded them into my car and drove into town. Jake had been working since he was eighteen to be able to get his own car shop. A couple years ago, he'd managed to find a partner and purchased a place and had since been working on building the business up.

Walking in, I glanced over and saw Jake's partner underneath the hood of a car. "Hey, Isaac. Where's Jake?"

"Hey, Bella. He's in the office finishing up some paperwork."

"Great, thanks." Taking the boys by the hand, I lead them back toward the office, knocking before I entered.

"Surprised, Daddy!" Remy said cheerfully.

"We're going to dinner!" AC added happily.

"Oh really?" Jake said with a grin as he finished tapping over the keys of the keyboard, then turned to face us. "Sounds wonder-" He froze a moment to take in the identical shirts the twins wore.

Deep blue in color, there was pale blue block lettering across the front that proclaimed "I'm a Big Brother!"

"Bells!" He jumped up from his chair and pulled me into his arms, kissing my fervently.

The twins looked at each other, bewildered. "I guess we did a good surprise," AC offered as Remy nodded.

"Amazing surprise," Jake replied, focusing on me a little longer as he gave me another soft kiss. He lifted the two boys up as we headed back out. "You two are going to be big brothers!"

They bounced excitedly in his arms. "Little brother or little sister?" Remy asked.

I laughed softly. "We don't know that yet."

"Which one do you want?" Jake asked as we buckled them in.

"Sister," they quickly replied in tandem.

Jake chuckled. "Why's that?"

"Cause Momma's the only girl!"

"Yeah, too many boys!" AC chimed in.

"Nope," I replied as I grinned at them. "Just the perfect amount." Then I climbed into the driver's seat and pulled away.

"But what if we get a brother?" AC questioned solemnly. "Is that too many?"

"Nope. Then it will just be more perfect, whether it's a little brother or little sister." I smiled softly over at Jake. "Oh, Remy... don't you have something to ask Daddy?"

He perked a little in the back seat, but immediately looked a little nervous. "I, uhm... Daddy, can I have hair like yours?"

Jake frowned a little, then turned to look back. "Why do you want hair like mine?"

"Well, 'cause... I like it, and... I want different hair from AC..."

AC looked a little put off, and Jake sighed a little. "Well, tell you what. If you still want to get a hair cut in a few days, ask me again on Saturday, and we'll go get you a hair cut, okay?"

Remy nodded and the subject was left alone for the time being. We had dinner at a small diner and had one of the waitresses snap a picture of all of us before the boys made a mess of themselves. I made copies of the picture and sent them out as an announcement to friends and family.

Within days, I had received a flood of calls from everyone. The Cullens came by in the night and stuck around for about a week, which the boy enjoyed immensely. We ended up asking Jasper and Alice to be the god-parents this time, and before they left, they asked to take the boys for a while. Jake and I hedged for a couple of days – neither of us had been away from them for longer than a weekend, but eventually gave in. It would undoubtedly be the last time in a long while that we would have to be alone.

In the end, we decided to go to Florida first to visit with my mom, Phil, Allie, and Cy. My little brother's real name was Denton True, after a baseball player... but Phil insisted on calling him Cyclone, or Cy. From what I had learned about little boys so far, I couldn't disagree. From Florida, the Cullens took the twins, so we took about a month to drive out to California and take our time to sight-see a little. We even stopped in Phoenix to visit my old school and visit this Chinese place I had loved.

We spent a week in California just to have a sort of second honeymoon. When Jake suggested we make a stop off at some garage, I playfully rolled my eyes, but he insisted on going to see some guy he'd heard about who was really good with foreign cars. We went in and managed to find him, and decided to go out to lunch, since he had plans to meet with his fiance.

The majority of the conversation was over cars and the shops, though as Jake began to hint at getting him to come to Forks, I pulled the few pictures I always had with me from my purse so he could show off the town.

"Well..." The girl said as she looked them over, then offered a soft smile to her fiance. "You have been saying you want to get away from big cities because of all the violence... and I'm no fan of how crowded it can feel here. I could easily switch my credits to a Seattle college, do some online courses..."

"It's tempting," he said as he gave her a gentle smile. "I'd like to know any kids we may have would be as from from a gang as possible... but... we definitely have to think about it first."

She nodded agreement, then shot Jake and I a smile. "I have the summer semester to finish, anyhow."

"What are you working toward?" I asked.

"Either child psychology practice or maybe a school psychologist. I just... want to be able to help kids out when they need someone to be there to listen."

I perked somewhat and gave a nod of my head. "I agree. I'm actually a teacher at Forks Middle School. My mom's an elementary school teacher in Florida."

She shot me a smile and we began to chatter about things. It felt nice to have someone new and 'normal' to talk to without worrying about talk of the pack or vampires. Finally, we invited them to come visit over the weekend some time soon in order to see Forks and look at the shop. As we rose to leave, we shook their hands.

"Nice meeting the two of you," I said with a smile. "Hope we get to see you again in a couple of weeks, Bree!"

"Oh, you probably will. He probably already made up his mind and he's just trying to appear more rational," Bree said before she gave a little yelp and swatted at the hands tickling at her sides. "Diego! You know it's true. I just know you too well."

He gave a dramatic sigh, but returned the smile openly. "True."

Jake paid for lunch, since he'd pretty much turned their date into a business lunch, and we separated outside. "Wow... I forgot how... different being around normal people feels."

Jake laughed openly, then pulled me closer against his side so that our hips brushed together as we walked. "Well, hopefully you'll have two 'normal' people to talk to in Forks soon."

"Good. I really liked them, anyhow. And they seem really sweet together."

"Yeah." He kissed the top of my head before I tipped my head back for a proper kiss. We just stopped in the middle of the sidewalk as people flowed around us as our lips touched and we held onto one another briefly before a ringing separated us. With a laugh, I pulled out my cell phone.

"Hello? Oh, hi Alice."

"Bella, Remy's been asking for the past few days about getting his hair cut? We figured we had better ask you."

I glanced up at Jake. "Remy's asking about getting his hair cut again. Apparently has for the past few days." He exhaled and raked a hand back through his own hair before he gave a nod and I told Alice it was okay. We spoke for a little while longer before we hung up.

"Oh! We should visit Angela and Ben before we head back tomorrow. I haven't really gotten to see her since the wedding."

"Alright. They're about an hour or so away, aren't they? How about we check out of the hotel and give them a call, check into a place nearer to them?"

"Great!" I smiled up at him before I dialed Angela's number as Jake lead the way back to the hotel.

A couple hours later, I was running over to give Angela a hug in her front yard. She returned it then started leading us inside.

"Oh, it was so weird that you're here now, Bella! I'm driving up to Forks in in a couple of weeks or so to spend some time with my family, I was planning on dropping in to surprise you and get to see the twins, finally!"

We settled on the couch together. "Well, they're off on a little vacation with the Cullens while Jake and I were sort of enjoying some time to ourselves. They're not due back for a bit longer. We were having a sort of second honeymoon before there's three pairs of feet running around."

Angela laughed and nodded. "Good point. Well, hopefully they'll get back before I have to leave. I want to get to spend plenty of time with Mom, Dad, Isaac, and Joshua. You know, before I'm caught up with running after my own little pair of feet," she added coyly.

"Oh! Congratulations!"

"Thanks... Just found out a couple weeks ago. Mom wants to take me shopping for maternity clothes while I'm there."

"Hey, if Bella has twins again, maybe they'll actually be born around the same time!"

Angela laughed as I turned to glare at him. "You are so not funny, Jacob Black."

"I don't know. I can sort of see you running around after a mess of kids, Bella," Angela teased with a snicker as she got up and went into the kitchen.

Jacob got up from his chair to sit next to me on the couch. "Would you kill me if I agreed with her?" He asked, laughing a little as he pulled me against him, nuzzling at my neck.

"Maybe," I threatened as I eyed him. "You're just more interested in the part that gets me pregnant."

"Maybe a little," he teased. "But I watch you, Bella. You light up around the boys. Motherhood suits you."

I gave an exasperated sigh, but smiled at him. "We'll see. Can you imagine having to deal with that many wolves in the house at once?"

"Oh, good point..." He frowned.

I patted his leg as I leaned against him. "We'll just let things happen how they happen, how about that? And whatever happens, we'll manage. We've gotten through a lot already, so I know we can get through anything life throws at us."

"Me too." He pulled me a little closer with a content sigh.

"Ugh, you two are still so cute together!"

"Oh, you and Ben were always a great couple!"

"I know," she replied with a smile as she sat down a tray with drinks and snacks. "We're both always just so busy, we sometimes don't even see each other for days. Oh, don't get me wrong!" She insisted as I began to look concerned. "It's because our jobs keep us busy to all hours, but we both love our jobs. But we have to set time aside in advance to really get to see one another. Why do you think it's taken eight years for me to get pregnant?"

I laughed a little and gave her another hug. "Alright, Ang. As long as you're happy."

"I am," she said with a happy little sigh.

We spent the next few hours catching up and making plans for her visit to Forks. When Ben got home, we all went out to dinner and just had fun joking and catching up on all our lives.


	33. Chapter Thirty Two: The End

**Author's Note: **Sooo... here we go! It's the last one, so happy and gonna cry at the same time! Before we jump in, I just want to say thank you **so much** to everyone who has taken the time to write a review, to follow me and this story. I had updates sent to my e-mail so they popped up on my phone every time. They would just brighten my day and keep me going when I was having some trouble getting through some writer's block. So thank you, and I hope everyone enjoys this final chapter! I cried while I was writing it, so I hope it touches and/or entertains you even a fraction as much as it has me.

Maybe I'll catch you around my other stories once I start posting them up here! 3

Thank you to everyone again!

_August 2014_

_Forks, Washington – Bella_

When Angela came up, Jake was headed out. Diego and Bree had decided to go ahead and come up for the weekend, and Jake said he'd go to drive them up so they wouldn't get lost. The Cullens told me they had just gotten back to the States, and would be back in a couple of days.

Angela got me to go out to lunch with her and her mother and then join them out in Port Angeles when they went shopping for maternity clothes. I'd never been a fan of shopping trips, but going with someone as good natured as Angela made it at least bearable. And then it was impossible to not at least have a little fun, as excited as she was about her first pregnancy, and her mom about a grandchild.

I did at one point finally ask to go to a book store, and Angela said she would come too, once she and her mom finished up and were able to get rung up. I headed from the clothing store and was surprised to find that it was already dusk. I headed down the sidewalk, enjoying the smell of the air and the feeling of warmth still lingering.

"Bella, Bella, Bella..."

I gasped and slowly started to back away. "V-Victoria! But... you're supposed to be..."

"Dead?" She smirked as she trailed after me, never letting me get a single step further away from her. "Amazing what you can talk a gullible little tracker into. I found some fiery little red-head along the way and kept her with me in that clearing almost two days before I turned her. By the time he showed, her transformation was almost finished... we fought some, so your little mind reader would see that in his thoughts, then tore her to bits before she was done transforming. My smell was all over that clearing, but I was long gone by the time your little friends came along."

I swallowed hard. "Victoria, I... I'm sorry about James... I can't imagine what it must be like to have to lose the one you love like that, but..."

"Oh no?" Suddenly, she was directly before me, hand about my throat as I was thrust against a wall. "I'd always intended for you to have to find out since I found you had the hots for your little wolf man instead of poor Edward, but... after almost eight years, this is the first real chance I've had to get close to any of you... and look..." She glanced down toward my stomach, and I felt compelled to place my hand almost protectively over the faint roundness. "Guess all the waiting was worth it, in the end... getting to end two lives... both so precious to the men in your life." Her red eyes narrowed as her hand closed more tightly about my throat. "The men who took James away from me."

Tears spilled down my cheeks as I could only shake my head. My breathing was too tightly constricted to manage speech. I didn't even really care at this moment that she'd finally caught up with me. Just that I'd be leaving behind Jake, AC, and Remy... that the child inside me would never have a chance at life. I would never get to see how beautiful they would be.

Her hold loosened on my throat, and she let me crumple tot he ground. "Now, now... no passing out before we get to the fun part!" Then she jerked me back to my feet to half drag, half carry me out of town. As she dropped me again, it was with a push hard enough that it knocked the air from my lungs and made my vision swim.

There was silence for a moment and I dared to briefly hope and glanced up. She glanced about furtively, then cursed softly. If I weren't terrified of her, I might have giggled at the way that word sounded in her sweet, bubble gum voice of hers.

"I wanted to make this last, but it seems I don't have much time." She yanked me up from the ground and I thought I heard something about not knowing how close 'they' were. But all thoughts were swept from my mind the moment I felt her teeth tear into my skin, bones in my shoulder crack and give way under the pressure from her jaw. I heard the scream that tore free from my throat, the painfully familiar burn begin to crawl outward from the wound.

Then I was thudding to the ground, and I thought I heard a growl, then that girl-like voice give a shrill scream of pain. Granite cracked.

Then I was somehow wrapped in a pair of warm arms, pressed tightly against a hard chest as I was held protectively. "Bella? Bella, hold on. I'm taking you back to Forks. The Cullens called us, they'll be there soon."

"Seth?" I gritted my teeth against the pain. "W-Where's Jake?"

"Mom was trying to reach him when we left."

I gave a half-choked sob as I cried out, my body spasming. But he held onto me tightly. I was only vaguely aware that we were moving swiftly before I was soon aware of nothing else at all.

Just the burning.

_August 2014_

_Forks, Washington – Jacob_

I burst into the Cullens house, the rest of my pack on my heels, though I was only dimly aware of their presence. "Where is she?" I barely even waited for Jasper to point up the stairs. At the scream, I bolted up them, then dashed into a dimly lit room. "Why haven't you stopped it like the last time? Help her!"

"Jacob." Carlisle set a hand on my shoulder. "We couldn't get to her in time. The venom had spread too far. Trying to draw it out would have killed her... I'm sorry. All we can do is wait for her to change."

She screamed again and I went to her side. I was only vaguely aware of Edward seated in the corner, cringing at the sound. I couldn't care at the moment. I just grasped her hand, then set a trembling hand onto her softly rounded stomach.

I glanced back toward Dr. Cullen, and fought to speak around the lump in my throat. "The baby?"

He frowned. "Our bodies aren't capable of sustaining life. And it's too early to hope it could survive outside the womb."

I clenched my eyes shut and turned back to her. "It's going to die... what happens to her after that?"

"She'll miscarry in the last hours," he supplied quietly. "I've seen it happen before... Essentially, she'll be fine... but she'll need you."

I swallowed hard. "I'm not going anywhere," I swore firmly, squeezing her hand as she screamed again.

Edward lifted his head and looked to me, almost as if he were surprised.

"What?" I couldn't help the urge to be vicious. We'd all failed to protect her, save her from the thing she had feared most. "Hoped I would leave her, did you?"

I heard a small snarl, then noticed Emmett firmly pushing him from the room. I sank to my knees next to the bed she lay on, barely aware as they slowly emptied the room. All I could hear was her screams as they filled the room, one after the other. It slowly made her throat raw, her voice hoarse. But even then, the screaming just went on.

_August 2014_

_Forks, Washington – Bella_

Slowly, I noticed the eternal burning beginning to fade away. Even before I opened my eyes, a voice whispering at my side.

"I'm sorry, Bells... I'm so, so sorry..." It went on like that over and over. Already hoarse from repetition.

"Jake?"

I felt movement, and slowly opened up my eyes. He just stared down at me. "Bells?" He twisted around briefly. "Doc! Get in here!"

Several pairs of feet answered his call.

"It's only been a little over a day and a half, what's going on?" Alice's voice asked, carried clearly to my ears.

"I'm... not certain," Carlisle muttered as he moved to my side. "Bella? How do you feel?"

"I... I'm not sure. It... still burns... but it's like it's fading..."I gasped and shot up. "Oh God... Victoria... she..!" I glanced down at myself.

"Bells... your eyes are still... brown."

"I... but..." I grimaced a little. "Oh, the baby!" I put my hand over my stomach. "Is it okay?"

Carlisle reached for me, and I moved my hand out of his way. It was silent in the room for a few moments. "It... seems to be fine. I... can't be sure... it seems like the incompatible chromosomes are holding against each other."

"We don't get our powers until we phase, Carlisle," Jake pointed out hoarsely, but there was some hint of hope to his voice.

"I know. But the baby would be born with those extra chromosomes. There's never been a chance to test the effect of venom on any of the wolves. But it seems that it's... protecting itself, and holding off the change in Bella so her body can continue to sustain it. But I can really only guess at this point..."

"So... after I give birth, it will start again." I exhaled softly, then glanced up at Jake. "At least the baby seems to be okay..."

He nodded, then suddenly dropped to sit next to me on the bed and pulled me into his arms. "Bells, I'm so sorry..."

"Jake..." I hugged him back just as fiercely. "It's okay, it's okay... I was just so scared she was going to kill me, that I wouldn't be here for you or the boys... that the baby wouldn't be born... Now I can still at least have that."

"You never wanted this, we didn't protect you like we promised."

Alice cringed. "I stopped watching for her after we thought she was dead. I only saw it now because she did go for Bella, and she wasn't around the pack. I called then and as soon as I did, it all disappeared... I'm glad they made it in time to at least stop her from killing you, Bella... I'm sorry that she got as far as she did..."

I just shook my head. "It doesn't matter... I realized there are things I fear more than becoming a vampire... If that's the price I pay for getting to stay with the ones I love, I'll gladly pay it."

Jake pulled me in against him again. His face buried against my shoulder, and I felt small spots of wetness begin to soak through the cloth of my shirt.

"I'd better go track down Edward," Emmett mumbled, clearly uncomfortable with the silent display of emotion as he shuffled from the room.

"I'll call your friend Angela. We told her you had a little accident." Esme slipped out, followed by Carlisle.

"I'll let the pack and Sue in on what's going on." Alice smiled at me faintly before she walked out, leaving Jake and I alone as I held onto him.

I spent the next few days with the Cullens, Carlisle checking me and the baby several times a day. I would keep feeling flushes of heat, but they would fade after a few minutes. He finally said it was likely safe for me to go home, and I got to finally see AC and Remy when Jake and I picked them up from Sue and Dad's.

My dad seemed blissfully unaware of any problems, so I guess Sue was keeping it quiet until we knew more about what was going on. I went ahead and called the school to tell them I couldn't be back in this year, just in case, coming up with some vague medical excuse.

Carlisle came by a couple times a week to continue checking on me. WE began to notice over time that my skin was becoming firmer, my bones harder... like the change was slowly creeping along in me. But the baby continued to grow, and I felt the firm kicks clearly, even more strongly than I had with the twins.

But as long as the baby seemed fine, I didn't care.

In the last month, however, Carlisle insisted I come back to stay again when the hot flushes stopped fading away. I felt consistently feverish up until the day I went into labor. Somehow, it didn't hurt as bad as this time, but there was no question about going to the hospital this time. The transformation was probably going to start right after the baby was born.

The expression on Jake's face was dull, there hadn't been any touches of the excitement that there had been with my first pregnancy for the past few months. And things had only grown more tense since I'd been at the Cullen place consistently. It made me irritable to never feel like I had time alone. Even the fact that Edward couldn't read my thoughts didn't seem to be any particular sort of consolation, cooped in a house with a group of beings that I knew could hear virtually every movement, every heart beat. Knowing that I was the only one that had to eat.

So things were tense, to say the least, in the days leading up to when my labor pains finally began. But now I could only reach out and take his hand. I knew he was fearing the transformation to come. That change in me, and having to work past the wolf inside him reacting to what I would be, to just be able to see me with the eyes and heart of a man in love with his wife. I knew this battle had already begun inside him psychologically, and he was struggling to work past it in order to be here for me.

But to me, it felt like relief was all that much closer. After all the fear, pain, confusion, and worry of the past few months, the process could finally begin. The waiting was over. I could go through the burning, the pain, spend the year adjusting to the new life, learning to resist the draw of human blood. The thought of essentially missing a year of the life of my children, the first year of my baby's life was almost more than I could bear. But that I would be around for the rest of their lives was all the consolation I would ever need.

"We'll get through this, my Jacob," I told him softly as I squeezed his hand.

He actually smiled a little at that. It was the first real smile I'd seen from him in months. I hadn't consciously called him that since we were both still little, though I often thought of him that way in my mind.

My Jacob. My hero, my love. Husband, father of my children. I knew that as long as he was at my side, there wasn't anything in all the world I couldn't face.

He was all the strength I would need to even face the fires of Hell.

Hours later, the need for his physical support became more real. I'd banished anyone else but he and Carlisle from the room after the first couple of hours. I couldn't stand their eyes being on me constantly.

"I don't understand," I gasped softly after a long contraction, slumping back against Jake. "The twins came so much more easily. What's going on?"

I was exhausted and covered in sweat. I hadn't been able to eat or drink since it had all begun. Jake moved from behind me to allow me to lay down as Dr. Cullen examined me, then shook his head. "Everything seems to be technically fine, Bella. That baby's just not descending just yet. We're not quite in the danger zone yet, but I'm going to hook you up to some monitors to watch the baby, just in case. Given the circumstances, I'd like to see this birth happen naturally more than I would any other normal birth." He moved about to hook up all the various monitors at my nod. "I'll leave you alone a bit, try to rest, or even get some food or at least water in you. You'll need your strength."

He departed, and I looked to Jake with a tired smile. "Lay with me?"

He just nodded and stretched out on his side next to me, settling a hand over mine upon my stomach.

"My Bells," he whispered softly, pressing a kiss to my cheek. "You never cease to amaze me with how strong you are. Or how beautiful you always look."

I scoffed, but smiled over at him. "It's just because I have you to lean on, my Jacob."

"Funny. And all this time I thought it was me leaning on you. Depending on you to hold me together when otherwise I'd explode into a million pieces." He swallowed and tore his gaze from mine, his voice became thick with emotion. "I don't know what I would have done, Bella... All the way back here, I was so... scared. I guess my cell signal dropped... but I was flooded with voicemails from Sue, saying Alice had said she'd get to you. That Seth, Quil, and Embry had been the only ones to go... I spent hours thinking that I had lost you already... God help me, I was almost relieved to hear you screaming in pain, again and again. It tore me apart, but it meant that you were still here. That I'd get to see your face, your smile again."

"Jake." I twisted a little, laid my hand on his cheek. "Look at me." When he did, I smiled gently at him. "I'm still here. I'm... always going to be here. I may be... different. But I'll still essentially be the same old Bella. Just a little more durable and less clumsy."

He gave a short laugh, then grasped my face between his hands, kissing me lovingly. "See what I mean? Here you are, like this... in labor, tired, probably in pain... And you're comforting **me**. You are amazing, Bells. I can't believe I got lucky enough to have you be mine."

I just smiled and finally closed my eyes. It was doubtful I would get any real rest, at this point, between feeling consistently more flushed and feverish and then the contractions.

As time wore on, they began to decrease in intensity. Carlisle was checking on me intermittently, and finally hooked me to an IV when I was still unable to eat. I noted him frowning as he seemed to have to press a little hard to get the needle past my skin, but he shot me a reassuring smile.

I finally dozed off around the eighteenth hour, too exhausted to do anything but.

"Carlisle!" Jake's panicked voice made me jolt awake, and I found he was no longer laying next to me.

"Jake?" I asked quietly. I felt cooler than what I was used to these days. It was sort of comfortable.

He just shot me a tight-lipped smile as Carlisle appeared in the doorway, and then was at my side. "She's hemorrhaging."

"What?" I mumbled, trying to push up. Jake immediately pushed me back down, and I realized that the side of his jeans that had been on the bed were soaked in blood.

"Oh..." My head swam as my eyes fell shut.

"Bella!" He quickly grasped my hand. "Stay with me."

"Jake, I need to set up a transfusion, or she'll never survive a cesarean. You're type O."

"Won't my blood hurt her?"

"I don't know. But it's all we've got right now. It might at least keep her alive long enough for the delivery and transformation."

"Do it," Jake's firm voice was the last thing I was consciously aware of as I faded out, just hoping the baby would be okay.

That was the first thought on my mind as I next shot up, my eyes wide open. "The baby!" Only then did I begin to look around, frantic.

"She's just fine, Bella," Alice assured me, her smile brilliant.

"We've been waiting on you," Jasper added quietly. "Charlie's chomping at the bit between wanting to see you and wanting to know his grand-daughter's name."

I dropped back on the bed with a small sigh of relief.

"Jake refuses to even make suggestions until he speaks with you," Alice added with a laugh.

"I'll go get him. He's downstairs with the baby." Jasper walked out of the room.

"The baby!" I shot up again. "Wait, wait! Isn't it dangerous?"

"Bella!" Alice just laughed. "Stop to think for a moment. Are you even at all thirsty?"

I did pause to take stock of me physical condition then, my surroundings. The mattress and sheets had obviously been changed out, and I was dressed in a clean nightgown. When I went to comb my hand through my hair, it caught in the mess of tangles. "Well, I'm hungry, I know that."

She tittered. "It's not the same... or so I'm told." She shrugged, then danced over to yank open the drapes, flooding the room with light. Her skin shimmered brilliantly as she picked up a mirror from the dresser. "Expected, since Carlisle couldn't get another IV into you."

"... Alice, how long was I out?"

"Mm... Just under a week. Five and half days now."

"Five-!" I glanced down to the hand-held mirror she placed in my hand, and got the point a moment later. Lifting it, I glanced at my reflection.

The first thing I was aware of was the sunlight on my face. My skin... still so pale, but... touched with the warmth of humanity.

I touched my face, and I knew why there had been trouble trying to place a needle in me. My skin was firm – not as hard as it was with vampires, but certainly resistant enough to a thin needle.

But the mirror was soon abandoned as I noticed a flicker of movement, and I jumped up to throw myself into Jake's arms. He actually gave a small 'oof' as my body collided with his. But he wrapped his arms around me in return, buried his face in my hair.

"Bells..."

I just clung to him, was dimly aware of Alice slipping from the room. I started to cry at some point, but I was smiling. Jake smoothed the tears away with a small chuckle.

"You're amazing... I know I keep saying that, but... this is a damn miracle, honey. You're..."

"Alive," I said a little breathlessly as I laughed. "I'm still me..."

"Well..." He chuckled. "You're a little bit me and our daughter now," he pointed out, pressing my skin to emphasize the point.

I was confused, but I pushed that away for now."Our daughter! Where is she?"

He took my hand to lead me downstairs. "With Charlie. I didn't know if you'd feel strong enough."

I just shook my head. My body told me it was still actually tired, pangs from my stomach told me I needed to eat, but... I hadn't gotten to see my baby yet.

My little girl.

My own little miracle.

I stopped short as I spotted my dad holding her.

"Bells." Charlie beamed over at me as he got up and moved over to place her in my arms. "I got to hand it to you, kid. You and Jake make some beautiful kids... I think she's even prettier than you were."

I could only nod as I looked down at her. Took in her every feature, even as my eyes blurred with tears. "She's perfect," I finally breathed, sniffling.

"So, Bella... how about a name? Charlie's been going crazy, and we'd like to call her something besides 'baby'."

I laughed a little at Emmett, but nodded. "Hope," was all I gave, and Jake's agreement came with his arms sliding about my waist from behind.

"Did you want a middle name?" Carlisle asked.

"Marie," Jake replied immediately. "We've been fishing through ancestor's names too much for kids names. I think it's time we picked one of the parents."

I shook my head, but smiled I brushed a fingertip across her cheek. "Hope Marie Black, you scared Mommy!" I chastised softly. "But you also saved her life, and let her stay with everyone. So, thank you."

Jake squeezed me tightly.

"Speaking of everyone, where are the boys?"

"With Mom and Leah," Seth chimed in. "Leah came back a couple days ago, after I told her everything when she called me up. She wants to see you, when you can. She just can't stand... here quite yet."

I nodded, then really glanced around for the first time. Alice was in Jasper's arms on the couch, Rosalie was at the other end with Emmett standing next to her. Carlisle had picked up the phone to call the hospital and fill in the rest of the information. I heard Esme in the kitchen, and I was suddenly very aware of being hungry.

She came out and set out four plates of food. "Come on, guys. I'm sure Bella doesn't want to eat alone."

Jake chuckled as he released me, and I reluctantly handed Hope off to Rosalie. I went to sit to eat, Jake, Seth, and Charlie settling down with me. Alice took advantage of me being seated to begin to deftly work the tangles from my hair.

I ate my fill carefully, knowing eating too fast would make me sick. When Alice finished with my hair, letting the braid fall against my back, and my head was free to move again, I gave another glance around. Biting my lip, I dropped my gaze to my plate.

"Where's Edward?"

There was silence for a few moments – the Cullens looked uncomfortable. Then Jake finally answered.

"He... took off, once he saw Hope was going to be okay. Little over four days ago."

I frowned.

"He was having some trouble coping with... the changes in you, Bella."

I lifted my gaze to Jasper, confused.

"You sort of stink the way the pack does, Bella." There was a teasing smirk on Rosalie's lips, alleviating any sting there might have been to the remark.

Emmett gave a half shrug.

"I'm sure he will, in time," Carlisle assured me.

I looked down again briefly, exhaling softly. When I looked back up, it was to Carlisle again. "So... about these 'changes'...?"

"I can really only make guesses. This is a completely unprecedented case, Bella. But I'm a little more sure of the idea that Hope helped to hold off the progress of the venom. The venom spreads fast, even faster if it's introduced at more vital points and in larger amounts.

Jake squeezed me hand under the table.

"She chose a poor place to bite you. I suppose she wanted to drag it out. But from what Seth tells me, there also wasn't much time between her starting to bite you and when he knocked her away.

Seth got a little smile on his face at that, and I returned it. I'd never asked about that night, it still felt too close.

"In time... I think, somehow, your body began to fight it like it would an infection, and that's why you kept feeling touches of the burning. Normally, the human body could never fight it. Within a few days, you're either changed or dead... But Hope somehow held it off. And gave you six months to adapt and fight it. But between the venom and her protection, the changes in you that had taken place also ended up threatening both your lives. Your pelvis was set and wasn't allowing her room to descend so she could be born. You began to hemorrhage, and Jake was able to give you blood... a lot of it, to tell the truth. More than would have normally been humanly possible... Then more later on, once he was able. So a good deal of the blood in you is Jake's at the moment. I assume that's the remaining cause for your fever now, Bella. Blood recycles every one hundred days or so, so we'll know more then how many of the changes are permanent, from what the venom did, and the what's the result of Jake's blood."

"Seth has his own theory, though," Jake added with a roll of his eyes.

My step-brother just grinned. "Yup! I mean well, your... uhm.. won't be back for a while, right? I think like two months?"

"Cycle?" Esme supplied kindly, a playful smile on her lips.

"Yeah. That."

I smirked, but nodded my head, curious enough to want him to continue. "About that long, yeah."

"Well... I thought it'd be kind of cool if your body sort of... tricked the wolf DNA into thinking you were hitting puberty. If you phased."

I nearly spat out the water I'd just drank, and Jake patted my back with a laugh. "He's your brother," he accused light-heartedly.

"He's your brother, too! By marriage and pack, so!" I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Just sayin'," Seth quipped. "Keep an eye on her."

"What, for me to be irritable when I'm going through PMS? Good one, Seth."

He sniffed and got up from the table. "Seems like you're irritable already. All cranky... not disproving my idea!"

I had no idea what compelled me, but I got up and chased him outside. He was laughing, so I wasn't sure if he was messing with me and running more slowly, or if I was actually keeping up. But as he turned to look at be, I took the opportunity.

His eyes widened as I dove at him, tackled him to the ground. I heard the air 'whoosh' from his lungs at the impact. I heard Jake laughing loudly from the back porch as I sat myself on Seth.

"Maybe I could get used to this," I mused, my head tilted. "Would help in keeping up with a whole family of wolves, huh, Jake?"

"A bit." He grinned.

"C'mon, l'emme up!

Snickering, I got up and helped pull Seth up to his feet. "Show you to make fun of your sisters."

"Ugh, guess I forgot. Haven't really spent a lot of time around Leah since I was sixteen."

I draped an arm about his shoulders as we walked back up to the house. "Actually now that I know she's back, I think I'd like both of you to be god-parents."

He shot me a smile. "I think she'd really like that. I think she's sort of always felt like life, real life was leaving her behind... Especially because her, uh... cycle stopped."

I nodded a bit before I released him to go back over to Jake, leaning against him as he wrapped an arm about my waist.

"So, Carlisle... there's not any really possibility that the whole phasing thing could happen, is there?" I looked over to him.

"I can't honestly say no, Bella. Right now you're sustaining a combination of being human, wolf, and vampire. You seem to have some of the increased speed and strength of vampires, certainly the increased temperature and some of the healing ability of the wolves..."

Curious, I reached for Jake and found he didn't feel quite as warm to me anymore.

"You're a curious sort of hybrid, Isabella Black," Carlisle continued with a smile. "But all I can really say is that we'll have to see what happens as your blood cycles through."

I nodded and walked over to take Hope from Rosalie, then glanced back to Jake. "So. How about we go get the boys and go home?"

"Sounds great." He smiled, and I knew the expression in his face was echoed in my own. The pure and simple joy of getting to be home again. Together. Just us and our family, our children.

After thanking the Cullens and making promises to visit with Hope and the boys soon, we left.

Arriving at Sue's, Seth ran in to tell Leah about being a godmother. She actually seemed a little excited about it, and we spent a little time there before finally, the five of us got to go home.

During the days after Hop had been born, apparently Jake had been hard at work fixing up the boys' old room into her nursery. And that night, I finally got to go to bed for the first time in a long while when I could be peaceful and comfortable, in the arms of my husband.

And I knew... no matter how many unexpected 'ifs' came along into our lives... we would make it through to the other side. Maybe a little worse fro the wear, or maybe even stronger. But we would be together, and that was all that mattered.


End file.
